Anyone still not DTD yet? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-09-2010, 08:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My baby is 7 weeks old. Still have not DTD yet. This is the longest we have ever gone. First baby it was about five weeks PP, second baby about 3 weeks PP. This one I just have no sex drive. I am breastfeeding so that could be part of it. Bleeding is completely gone, no tearing so no stitches, I just don't feel like it. When I finally get to bed at night I just want to go to sleep. I am sure DH is getting anxious although he has not said anything or pushed me at all. Anyone else feel like their partner is now their roommate?

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Old 06-09-2010, 09:05 PM
 
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Absolutely zero urge to do so. I don't even know when I'll want to again, but it won't be any time soon. With our family bed and Cecilia not sleeping well when she's not on me, I don't even know if it would be feasible even if I wanted to.

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Old 06-09-2010, 09:52 PM
 
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Not here yet. I'm thinking it should probably be soon, though. Just to get back on the horse, ya know? Well, 10 year wedding anniversary tomorrow.....

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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Old 06-09-2010, 09:58 PM
 
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nope - i think w/ds we went sexless for 15 mo between pregnant and PP. LOL

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Old 06-09-2010, 10:01 PM
 
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Good timing for this thread as I just read one of our member's blog posts
about this.

We haven't yet. Birth control hasn't been sorted out. I typically don't have a high drive but I'm starting to look forward to it. My hubby hasn't been pushing for it just dropping hints.

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Old 06-09-2010, 10:47 PM
 
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Not here either. I actually dreamt about it last night! Like, "hey, this feels good, I forgot!"
I've been nervous but am finally feeling more healed. Now, just have to get more than 5 hours of sleep...
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Old 06-09-2010, 10:54 PM
 
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We have. Twice. Nothing to write home about. I recommend wine, lube and a sense of humor.

Ivory, partner to Tom, mama to Ella (12/9/05), Alice (12/8/07), and our newest addition, Rebecca (4/1/10).
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Old 06-09-2010, 10:55 PM
 
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Not here. Two months yesterday. DH is getting a bit impatient, and it's frustrating. He's not pushing, but he mentions it frequently.

But I had a 2nd degree tear that healed with granulated tissue which had to be pulled off and cauterized with silver nitrate.

And then I got the mirena put in and have been bleeding ever since... 3 weeks of bleeding. The lochia had gotten down to just clearish. I haven't had any other side effects from the mirena that i know of (maybe a bit of acne, but that could just be pregnancy hormones going away), but i'm scared i'm going to bleed forever.

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Old 06-09-2010, 11:06 PM
 
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no way. can't imagine wanting to at this point. too tired!
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Old 06-10-2010, 12:26 AM
 
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Well, upon first reading of this post, the answer was "not yet." However, in the name of science I decided to bravely go where I've gone 50 bazillion times before, so that others could learn from what I found out. And let the record show that my daughter is not 1 month old yet.

OWWWWWW!!!!!

I am swollen feeling and have a bad headache, but what I don't remember from the other 50 zillion times I've gone back to Paying Down The Marriage Debt is the incredible muscle soreness from lack of exercise. I feel like I did a work out. So, I guess I'm more out of shape than I thought?

I wasn't completely interested, but I was persuadable and had a mini margarita (think about half a serving of alcohol) and decided to just go for it.

I'll let you all know when I wind up pregnant in the next couple of weeks...

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Old 06-10-2010, 12:45 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sew_crafty_girl View Post
Good timing for this thread as I just read one of our member's blog posts
about this.
I think that was my blog post.

I've been gunning for it since 2w postpartum. We were able to DTD a little bit, but didn't actually finish - got too dry and decided to give up instead of lubing up.

Maybe tonight? I'm enough in the mood - it's just a matter of DS falling asleep at a reasonable time. DH is out of bed by 5am, so with DS awake until midnight, I usually let DH sleep.

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Old 06-10-2010, 12:52 AM
 
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All I have to say on this topic is that sex when you are not pregnant is the best thing EVER. I was afraid I was going to wake the kids up. It was six weeks to the day.

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Old 06-10-2010, 01:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by dogretro View Post
All I have to say on this topic is that sex when you are not pregnant is the best thing EVER. I was afraid I was going to wake the kids up. It was six weeks to the day.
Hmm...I LOVE pregnancy sex as does dh (mostly cause I want it all the time). PP sex not so much. I've found though that once I bull through that first time, I'm okay. So that said, we finally DTD last week after 7 weeks. We went earlier than that the last two PP periods but this time around despite me not being torn at all, etc, etc., life was a freakin' mess and we just didn't have the chance or time. And while I wasn't really in the mood, once we did it, I felt the spirit and am now more interested so dh has gotten it one more time:P

Mama to Umberto 12, Camille, 9, Piper 7, Rowena 2, and Jude Therese Prenatal DS diagnosis due December 23.

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Old 06-10-2010, 07:09 AM
 
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I have thrush and no interest. No way we are DTD! lol

We only did it once whilst I was pregnant as well - right towards the end (hoping it may help get things started! lol)...it wasn't pretty...I was huge and we had to some strange moves! lmao

I had no interest in pregnancy with DS2. With DS1 - I wanted it all the time! In fact, it ended up being my DH who was saying 'erm..not now dear' lol... It was crazy!

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Old 06-10-2010, 10:09 AM
 
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Okay, did my own research on this last night. I'm TEN WEEKS out, and apparently still not healed up where I was stitched up.

Ouch. Ouch.

We're not trying that again for a while.....

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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Old 06-10-2010, 10:42 AM
 
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Almost 7 weeks pp and NO way.
Id rather be on this website than dtd at this point in my life.
When I am nursing my estrogen is so low Im like a non sexual being.
I dont even cry or really get sad easily. Its kind of cool because Im emotionally the most stable ever when Im nursing.
But sex.... nah
I co sleep and have 3 kids so there isnt a possible time anyway.
It works out because Dh has been working around the clock. He doesnt get home till after bed.
I picture a glass of red wine and sitting out on the deck one night this summer together and just maybe something will happen. I dont think there is any reason to rush unless he's really getting anxious.
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Old 06-10-2010, 11:47 AM
 
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I'm 6 weeks as of yesterday. We've done other stuff.
I have the drive, it's mostly logistics and lack of birth control holding us back right now.

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Old 06-10-2010, 10:57 PM
 
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So, about those "ouches".... looks like I re-tore a bit. We barely did anything!

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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Old 06-10-2010, 10:59 PM
 
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So, about those "ouches".... looks like I re-tore a bit. We barely did anything!
That's my big fear

Hippie sympathizer and mom to L, 4.8.10.
Pet-mom to Squirt with FLUTD & Maya the deaf wonder dog .
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Old 06-10-2010, 11:12 PM
 
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I am SO.PISSED.

Spotted a teeny bit yesterday, no biggie. Got OK-ed for sex this morning, and now I have full-on bleeding. I haven't bled since 2.5w!!!!!



I guess no sex for us tonight. And it's even date night too!!

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Old 06-11-2010, 12:32 AM
 
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not yet, nope. I had my 6 week and went on the minipill and it takes two weeks to start working so at this point we are waiting for that. DH bless his soul hasn't brought it up at all and we haven't had sex since about the 5th month of my pregnancy and maybe only 3 times before that the whole pregnancy. With DD1 we waited 10 weeks and I was really nervous and it didn't hurt at all! Instead it felt much better. This time I'm having a lot of pain from one tear site and having prolapse issues so my biggest worries are about how I will look and feel down there to DH. I know I'm not 100% healed yet, it takes me about 3 weeks to heal from a scratch so a tear is going to take a heck of alot longer.

Mom to Morgan 4-3-06 and announcing Baby Kelsey 4-11-10
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:58 PM
 
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Dying to, but can't. MW said I need another 2 weeks to heal. I'm about 7weeks PP. My husband doesn't care. He'd probably rather spend the 20 min before bed staring at the baby while he sleeps.

oh well. Soon enough, I guess. I suppose I should start taking those pills...

Aurora , happy wife to C., mama to 3 : and , lost 12/08 & our 4/24/10
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Old 06-11-2010, 09:14 PM
 
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Nope. I'll be 4 weeks PP on Monday so it's still early for us. We are definitely acting like we did when we were first dating though

Amanda: Christian, wife to musician DH since 2002, mom to intact & vax free "monkey" DS1 since 12/21/06, and "lovey" DS2 5/17/10! WINNER OF THE GOLDEN BIRTH STOOL, APRIL 2010 DDC!
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Old 06-12-2010, 01:17 PM
 
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The AirForce was going to take him away for a while so we DTD a few times...just 1 week after my c-section was the soonest. I thought that maybe breaking the rules but since I didnt have any trauma to my hooha I thought maybe it was OK?! He has gone now so def. no DTD until he gets back which is around a month away.

Mummy to Samuel 02/08 and new baby Molly- 04/10
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Old 06-12-2010, 02:08 PM
 
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We finally did this morning! Just over 9 weeks. My vagina feels like it might fall out.

Hippie sympathizer and mom to L, 4.8.10.
Pet-mom to Squirt with FLUTD & Maya the deaf wonder dog .
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Old 06-12-2010, 07:40 PM
 
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We started back up at 6 weeks exactly even though I haven't seen the midwife yet. It was not bad at all! I was so surprised. I was expecting horrible pain and it was just a little bit of mild stinging, no big deal.

Sarah, with 3.5 yo DD Charlotte + brand new baby Eleanor Jane April 28, 2010
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Old 06-13-2010, 06:53 PM
 
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We haven't at about 7 weeks out. I am just too tired and not in the mood. We will eventually get around to it though.

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Old 06-15-2010, 04:34 PM
 
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We did over the weekend and OUCH! I'm 8 weeks pp and had a c-section so I figured that everything would be ok. It wasn't. :-/ We hadn't done it since the third trimester, so it had been a while. I do have the desire, despite all the nursing, so I'm hoping that next time is a bit more . . . um . . . pleasurable.
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Old 06-15-2010, 05:49 PM
 
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we have several times, maybe once a week since 7 or 8 weeks. i'm still sore, even though i didn't tear, strange.

and..... since this is a sex thread.... i'm tighter? i thought the opposite was supposed to happen? i was feeling it, and my husband said it feels the same to him.

me+him for 15 yrs, welcomed our little one march 25th, 2010.

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Old 06-15-2010, 06:19 PM
 
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and..... since this is a sex thread.... i'm tighter? i thought the opposite was supposed to happen? i was feeling it, and my husband said it feels the same to him.
Yup.

Welcome to the incredible stretchy, shrinking vagina!

(It's a myth that you get "loose" after childbirth.)

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