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Weekly thread, July 25 - Aug 1

7K views 173 replies 23 participants last post by  smeisnotapirate 
#1 ·
Possibly our last weekly thread in here?

I can tell our babies are getting older -- there's less overnight posting.
 
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#53 ·
it is SO hard to manage expectations about grandparents, especially our own moms!
snoopy. my mom has not met charlie yet. she was dragging her feet about coming (which she had promised to do) after he was born, and then my dad was diagnosed w/ prostate cancer. sooo..... she had good reason eventually, but at the time, it hurt a lot. they'll be staying w/ us for 3 weeks (coming in 1 1/2 weeks!), and i'm really looking forward to it. i'm trying not to have expectations though, b/c my mom is essentially tied down by waiting on my dad constantly, and he'll be here too. soo.... not sure i can expect much. also, they were supposed to be retiring about 30-40 mins away from us, but now are putting that off. i hate that they are missing so much, for my sister too, who just had her first. and i'm nervous b/c she is very opinionated about CIO, spoiling ideas and babies, but in a passive-aggressive way


on the other hand, my MIL just lost her job, and has been GREAT. i thought we'd never see her (situation w/ other gkids burnout and a very consuming career), but i've been very pleasantly surprised. she's using her time to re-focus and spend time with us. she just spent the morning here yesterday, and i almost finished painting charlie's room!

maybe i'm too late for the NICU discussion, but we were very thankful to have a good situation as well. the night i was discharged, we were able to stay in a room to sleep near the NICU (they have 4 for parents, with a shared bath). and the next day, charlie was moved to a transition room, which is a whole hospital room with a private bath and a bed for us. and the staff were very supportive about us being there. because i was EBF, they really worked hard to support us. the hospital was working to get a special mom/baby friendly certification.

LNF, it sounds like your phone convo went well if they are offering for you to meet with that doc!! if you can stomach it, i hope you do. he (and future NICU families) could really benefit from being (gently) confronted.

rhi, sorry you guys are sick!

just for fun: http://milasdaydreams.blogspot.com/

i have an idea for one with charlie!
 
#55 ·
DR. UAV LIED TO THE DIRECTOR OF WOMEN'S SERVICES, AND STATED THAT HE HAD APOLOGIZED TO ME THE DAY OF. AND I GOT TO GENTLY TELL HER THAT HE LIED. SHE WAS NOT HAPPY.

Wow... she had to have put a significant amount of pressure on him for him to do something as stupid as telling a blatant lie like that.

And they will be looking into making some sort of step down unit within the NICU where parents can transition and treat it like a half-way house going out of NICU. So, that is good.

At the risk of sounding arrogant, I knocked this out of the park.

AND her complete medical records are in the mail today. I said that they were the only real baby book that I had from my daughter's first 10 days of life (insert teeny tiny violin in the background here), and I have them all coming. Every single scrap of information.

Let the games begin.
 
#56 ·
LNF, how could parents not stay? That's horrible to think of.

My blog is www.azuroo.blogspot.com I have some of your blogs in google reader, I need to subscribe to the rest!

My sinuses hurt so bad today. Do you all know if Mucinex is safe to take while breastfeeding? Google gave me different answers. The neti pot isn't helping, for the first time ever. Sudafed makes me feel really strange and I hate it. Benedryl makes me high and hyper, lol. I'm really sensitive to side effects from medications.

Ada seems to be teething like crazy. She's eating everything and sometimes she shoves her hand in her mouth and wails. She has two little white bumps on her bottom gums. I am not ready for the end of the gummy smiles already, noooo!

DD1 is watching Bambi and I'm sobbing. Stupid Disney cartoon, stupid adorable baby deer with no mommy.
 
#57 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by loveneverfails View Post
DR. UAV LIED TO THE DIRECTOR OF WOMEN'S SERVICES, AND STATED THAT HE HAD APOLOGIZED TO ME THE DAY OF. AND I GOT TO GENTLY TELL HER THAT HE LIED. SHE WAS NOT HAPPY.

Wow... she had to have put a significant amount of pressure on him for him to do something as stupid as telling a blatant lie like that.

And they will be looking into making some sort of step down unit within the NICU where parents can transition and treat it like a half-way house going out of NICU. So, that is good.

At the risk of sounding arrogant, I knocked this out of the park.

AND her complete medical records are in the mail today. I said that they were the only real baby book that I had from my daughter's first 10 days of life (insert teeny tiny violin in the background here), and I have them all coming. Every single scrap of information.

Let the games begin.

HAH!! I can't believe he lied. I hope this all helps with your healing process, and it sounds like you might be able to make a real change in the NICU....
 
#58 ·
We have a blog but I seriously never post in it. I always say I'm going to blog, and people tell me I should, but I just never do it. There's a part of me that is 100% positive that I will have nothing good to say, so why bother starting?

Cecilia finally slept well again last night. She slept 7 hours (7 pm to 3 am), then we got up and nursed/supplemented, and went back to bed at 5 am until 8 am. Feels good to be rested again!
 
#59 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama View Post
We have a blog but I seriously never post in it. I always say I'm going to blog, and people tell me I should, but I just never do it. There's a part of me that is 100% positive that I will have nothing good to say, so why bother starting?

Cecilia finally slept well again last night. She slept 7 hours (7 pm to 3 am), then we got up and nursed/supplemented, and went back to bed at 5 am until 8 am. Feels good to be rested again!
Yay, Aimee! I've been wondering how you're doing. I have to say I had one of those "finally got some rest and somehow feel more exhausted" days yesterday but it's also super foggy out.

Gotta go but just want to say again how grateful I am for all of you! LNF, you are rocking that NICU and making it better for future parents and babes, hooray!!


Mega hugs to all.
 
#60 ·
I am floored that he was that freaking stupid, but he must have been panicked. You have to be seriously panicking in order to make a blatantly untrue statement like that, inventing a conversation that never happened. It's a very stupid mistake to make, and this guy isn't stupid. Vindictive, a jerk, and all around failure at life, but not dumb.

This is awesome.
 
#61 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepper44 View Post
Do you all know if Mucinex is safe to take while breastfeeding?
pretty sure kellymom says no to this one. sudafed is bad too. basically these just dry you out which also dries up milk supply. if its caused by allergies try a claritin instead.

LNF - you go girl!
 
#62 ·
Good for you LNF. I'm glad you're fighting this guy. so uncool. It is so sad about the babies but I have to admit that I do feel for the mothers because there may be very good reasons why they're not staying. I know when I was having contractions early (33 weeks I think), I was so scared about NICU because I had no idea how we were going to do it. Dh wouldn't be able to take huge amounts of time off of work, and I have no one who could have watched the other three kids. I seriously doubt if the unit would have let me in with my three. Of course dh and I would have moved the earth for me to stay but we would have paid a heavy price in terms of finances, etc. I don't want to take the focus on the NICU because what it boils down to is that it is utterly bogus that they were so discouraging of a mother who wanted to stay, and you have to wonder if that attitude really did effect mothers who wished to stay.

And wow on the Dr. lying. That is so messed up and you're right that he must be scared.

parents: Well my mom is so wrapped up in her dysfunctional marriage that it's very off and on with her. She loves her grandchildren, of that I have no doubt but she's always promising them things and then not following through. She decided she was going to tutor my son and once he started to look forward to it, she gets maybe once a week. She bought them passes for a local amusement park, and hasn't taken since June. She tells me she's coming and then cancels the same day. I've stopped telling the kids she's coming because half the time she doesn't end up showing up. My inlaws live in Mexico so we see them maybe once a year. They both act very ackward with the children (likely because the kids' don't speak a lot of Spanish), and my MIL spends most of the time make "suggestions" on we should parent
Dh's siblings will have it easy after us (we're the radical parenters). My dad lives in Maine with his girlfriend, and we NEVER see him but he always send birthday cards and present for the kids. Frankly this more than he did for me when I was a child so I'll take it.

I have two blogs: www.greenteaginger.blogspot.com. This is my personal blog and I'll be starting to write my memoir out there soon. I also put up academic stuff I'm working on, and sometimes have generic about the day kind of stuff.

My other blog is www.gingerandthebeasties.blogspot.com, and that one is about homeschooling, the kids, etc. Lately I've been posting a bit more on that one.

Amiee: I always thought that about blogging (and still do sometimes) but I ended up really enjoying it. Plus I've got to meet some cool people who stumbled across my blog. I think you'd be surprised at how fun it it. I always enjoy reading daily life blogs. They're fun!
 
#64 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama View Post
Hey guys, Danielle (dhinterliter) is in the hospital with severe GI bleeding, out of nowhere, she says. Please pray for her.

I just saw that. And she doesn't have any pumped milk for R, either


I feel horrible for her, because she was already having bit sinus issues before this.
 
#65 ·
Oh, poor Danielle! She's in my thoughts.

lnf -- Awesome job! That's more than I ever expected you would get! A transitional area for sick-but-not-NICU-sick kids is exactly what's needed. Please keep me updated on how it goes.
 
#66 ·
I've been really lucky with my blog. My four best friends here in town - my little mama group that holds my chin up out of the water somedays - all found me through my blog,and made the jump into my real life.
I have been blogging for 10 years now (7 at LJ and 3 on the trivial blog) and sometimes it feels like absolute drivel to write out, but then i go back and read it years later and am amazed that that was my life. Just the every day details that you forget are pretty amazing. Anymore it is a sort of digital babybook, recording the mundane things about my kids' childhoods that i hope they will appreciate later (I loved hearing stories about when i was a baby). So my advice is just to write, even when it feels inane.
What you DON'T want to do is start thinking about an audience, or readers, or comments or hits. I guess if you want a 'promotion blog' that is a different story, but if you want a place to be honest with yourself, turn off the 'stats' tab. It can be A) really discouraging not to have readers at first, and B) really scary when you realize 200 people are reading it daily but only 5 are commenting, so WHO ELSE is out there?! I kind of wish i had had the common sense to keep our names/city out of it, BUT, then again, I wouldn't have my little circle of friends, so... I don't know.

Anyway, grandparents: My mom died when i was 18, and would have been an awesome grandma. She lived apart from us for the last few years of her life (ugly divorce/custody issues/dad had more money in the bank) but was constantly sending us little packages, letters, calling, etc. I was a snotty teenager, so i took it for granted, but I know she would have been the same way with my kids, even if she still lived far away (she used to joke that she was just waiting for one of us to have kids so she's have an excuse to move down the block). Mourning that relationship is hard.

My dad is.. my dad. We have a tense relationship, and I think if i were able to let the past be the past he'd be more of a part of my kids' life, but I'm just not there yet. He doesn't reach out to us, but is affectionate when i do put forward the effort to reach out to him, so I don't know. He lives on CO, so it's not like we run into each other in the supermarket, so it's easy to just let it be. Maybe someday I'll grow up enough to deal with it all.

DH's parents are great, though they are in the middle of a divorce and it makes things weird. They both live here in town, and having them here has been one of our reasons for staying here despite better job opportunities in major metro areas, but it sucks not being able to invite them both to a potluck in our backyard. They are wonderful with the kids though, so we are really lucky there.

Today kind of sucks. I met up with friends at the park this morning and I'm still in a funk. We're trying to have a garage sale this weekend, and I think going through boxes is making me anxious - I am a hoarder by nature, but try to ascribe to a simplistic life, so it's a constant battle, and not one I feel up to today. *sigh*
 
#68 ·
Yay LNF!!
Poor Danielle, please keep us updated!

Parents: I'm glad to see I'm not the only one with strained relationships. It is definitely hardest with my mom, because well, she's my mom.....I know it hurts her that we do more and have a better relationship with MIL and SFIL, but I honestly don't think she gets why - they come here, they visit all the time, they give us no stress, no baggage, no hard times. My mom on the other hand....we moved here 3 years ago. After we moved she came to visit a few times. During one of the visits the topic of holidays came up and we told her we planned to come home to visit for each major holiday (easter, thanksgiving, christmas) and that we'd see everyone (all 4 sets of parents) but we'd do it on our own schedule since we were the ones doing all the driving (everyone lives in the same state but all are an hour away from each other). So basically we drive up, visit the closest family first, then make our way to the next closest, and so on (and by the way it totally sucks for us but we do it anyway). So we'll see you for Thanksgiving, but not on Thanksgiving Day, maybe Friday or Saturday instead. Well that was it, she flipped out. Started crying, so upset that she'd never see DD1 on actual Thanksgiving. We do visit her on Easter Sunday, but never Thanksgiving Day. Christmas Day we now spend here so no one "gets us" that day and it doesn't make anyone else jealous, everyone is welcome to come here Christmas Day. It is so sad to me that we have to do this kind of crap.
Anyways after that she stopped visiting and hadn't visited in almost 2 years. Then DD2 was going to be born and she said she'd come again, but didn't. And now was supposed to come visit during her 8 WEEKS off from work, but isn't. You'd think if someone had 8 weeks off from work they could spend at least, I don't know 3 or 4 days visiting their grandkids? And she is nuts for DD1, loves her to death, so that makes it so much harder to understand.....

So on the gross baby front today, I had DD2 in her doorway jumper for a few minutes today and I come over to get her out and there is poop all over the floor under her. Talk about gross!! I then take her out and somehow there is no poop on the seat of the jumper or on her onesie. Somehow she managed to poop, have it leak all out of her diaper, but yet not get any on her except for the bottoms of her feet where she was stepping in it. Just bizarre. And I've yet to find a diaper that she can't leak poop out of. I've tried every brand of disposable on the market. We don't do cloth because DH is not on board, but it is my next step out of desperation!

Also today I went to have Mayan Abdominal Massage done to try and help with my uterine prolapse. The practitioner said I could bring DD2 because she won't take a bottle but I think she regretted that after the fact. It was clear once I got there that this woman did not have kids and knew nothing about babies (asked if DD2 was going to crawl away when I put her on the floor on a blanket). It all worked out fine in the end, but it was a 1 hour drive each way with DD2 fussing the whole time and then trying to relax and get a massage with DD2 either fussing on the floor or sleeping but with me praying that she would sleep long enough for the practitioner to finish. Not very relaxing, but hopefully helpful.
 
#69 ·
One of my mom friends who is due in the next few weeks mentioned that she is "considering" getting a bassinet for their bedroom instead of having the baby sleep in her own room from day one. I just get so depressed when I hear things like that. Sigh.
 
#70 ·
Danielle! Praying for her. Aimee, if you find out she needs milk, call me, ok? I can overnight part of my stash to her. I'm about 1/4 of the way through a huge-mongous donation to the Milk Bank of Ohio, so I can always re-route that to Danielle if she needs it.

I've added all of your blogs to my blogroll if you guys want to find each other.
 
#71 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama View Post
One of my mom friends who is due in the next few weeks mentioned that she is "considering" getting a bassinet for their bedroom instead of having the baby sleep in her own room from day one. I just get so depressed when I hear things like that. Sigh.
You know, it really bothers me how ubiquitous the idea of a "nursery" is. I mean, I understand wanting to have a room for baby stuff, I understand that bed-sharing can be impractical, and I get it that people sometimes need/want a nursery for their own reasons, but it bothers me the way our culture seems to make you believe nurseries are required and there is no other option.
You'd think, with the AAP recommending for the past few years that babies sleep in their parents' room, it would have caught on, but nope.
People buy pacifiers to reduce the risk of SIDS, buy fans to reduce the risk of SIDS, get Angelcare monitors, etc., but they have no idea that the AAP SIDS guidelines recommend room-sharing (but not bed-sharing).
I can't tell you how many completely blank stares I get when people ask about DD2's nursery and I say we don't have one. Room-sharing with your baby is such a foreign concept that people can't even process it.

In other news, my computer crapped the bed. I'm on DH's lappy right now, but he needs it for work and stuff, so I probably won't be on again for a bit, at least not much.
I can feel withdrawal symptoms starting already..
 
#72 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post
Danielle! Praying for her. Aimee, if you find out she needs milk, call me, ok? I can overnight part of my stash to her. I'm about 1/4 of the way through a huge-mongous donation to the Milk Bank of Ohio, so I can always re-route that to Danielle if she needs it.

I've added all of your blogs to my blogroll if you guys want to find each other.
I can do the same Aimee..I have a HUGE freezer stash that needs to be used. huge. add to it daily.
 
#73 ·
huge sigh of relief here...

J was approved for SSI. It's not much, but any little bit helps. It will help to keep us where we are at(living) till my lease is up. The best part is thr retroactive $ and WOW..it is going to help me buy things we've been out of and need for house and for J. Help pay for J to see a ND for allergy tests.

We also had a great LC appointment. She saw us for two hours, free. She says there is hope. She feels that he needs cranio sacral therapy and that might be the culprit. She says he has a high palate. Second she recommended the allergy tests. She really feels he needs the therapy done though...I found a great pediatric chiro who does cranio sacral therapy near me, best part she will bill our insurance and put it as physical therapy since it doesn't cover seeing a chiro!!!
She also gave us a bottle to try out and it's working! It's a Dr. Brown's wide neck and the nipple is really slow and wide like the breast. So we are retraining him right now. There is hope and that's the best part.

Dom has really kicked in. I am using the lowest dose and I am pumping 30+ oz a day.
 
#74 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by erickalynne View Post
huge sigh of relief here...

J was approved for SSI. It's not much, but any little bit helps. It will help to keep us where we are at(living) till my lease is up. The best part is thr retroactive $ and WOW..it is going to help me buy things we've been out of and need for house and for J. Help pay for J to see a ND for allergy tests.

We also had a great LC appointment. She saw us for two hours, free. She says there is hope. She feels that he needs cranio sacral therapy and that might be the culprit. She says he has a high palate. Second she recommended the allergy tests. She really feels he needs the therapy done though...I found a great pediatric chiro who does cranio sacral therapy near me, best part she will bill our insurance and put it as physical therapy since it doesn't cover seeing a chiro!!!
She also gave us a bottle to try out and it's working! It's a Dr. Brown's wide neck and the nipple is really slow and wide like the breast. So we are retraining him right now. There is hope and that's the best part.

Dom has really kicked in. I am using the lowest dose and I am pumping 30+ oz a day.
That's all great news Erica!!!


Dh talked to his old principal today about a recommendation, and the principal told him that he was still hoping to get that position back. We're hoping and praying that this will happen as it was a much better fit for dh.

Rowena slept so awesome last night but my other youngest woke up at like five and kept waking me up. Grrr.
 
#75 ·
Thankfully, we seem to be back to decent sleep around here. Also thankfully, I should have the first of two shipments of milk coming sometime today, which is great because I'm down to the last bag! I hope this will last well; it's getting so expensive to have milk shipped in that my husband wants to consider formula if it turns out that the DPD doesn't increase my supply enough to have a full supply. I don't know how I feel about it. It's cheaper for sure to get formula, but we've gone nearly 4 months without it, I feel like if we can go another 4 months we'll be at the point where she can have some solids, and if she's like the rest of the kids in my family, she'll really like real food a lot and won't want to nurse as much (of course this is all supposition, she might not want solids before 1). I just don't want to stop unless we absolutely have no choice.
 
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