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#61 of 136 Old 08-17-2010, 08:36 PM
 
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I tried stepping on the scale with Mercy and doing the math to see how much she weighs. She's coming in at 15.6 lbs, according to my bathroom scale. Just over 3 months old over here.

And we are celebrating 89 days out of NICU today!

Catholic wife in love.gifwith my husband, mom to superhero.gifx5,  babygirl.gifx2, angel1.gifx6. Birther of babes, baker of bread, and connoisseur of human folly. WINNER OF THE SILVER BIRTH STOOL, APRIL 2010 DDC! Happily hospital birthing with my BFF, Epidural Man.
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#62 of 136 Old 08-17-2010, 09:23 PM
 
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I got distracted and sewed a dress instead. I freehanded it and WAY screwed up the size - it's for like an 8lb baby, not my 16lb gigantic one.

The baby woke up, pooped on me, got a sink bath, and is giggling at the rug pattern...I'm scared to pick her up and break the spell...

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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#63 of 136 Old 08-17-2010, 10:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by loveneverfails View Post
I tried stepping on the scale with Mercy and doing the math to see how much she weighs. She's coming in at 15.6 lbs, according to my bathroom scale. Just over 3 months old over here.

And we are celebrating 89 days out of NICU today!
we've been out 146 days

no circ/vax-babywearer-cosleeping-pumping/breastfeeding-homeschooling single mama

TTC #3

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#64 of 136 Old 08-17-2010, 10:20 PM
 
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I'm not it for the bedazzled birth stool Yay!!!!

I have no idea what R's official weight is. I weigh her on our scale. I know she's gaining but it has slowed way down. Right now she's 17, birth weight was 8.9. She seems plenty chunky to me

Mama to Umberto 12, Camille, 9, Piper 7, Rowena 2, and Jude Therese Prenatal DS diagnosis due December 23.

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#65 of 136 Old 08-17-2010, 10:39 PM
 
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V is about 15 lbs. His gain has definitely slowed, but his legs seem chunkier every day. I'm thrilled to have no idea what "percentile" he is. I always knew exactly what it was with DD... and what was the point?

Ericka, LNF, and Jen, I am so happy for you guys that the NICU stays of varying lengths are all OVER!

Coming in late to the bumbo discussion-- my DS also poops frequently in his, but I view that as a good thing (maybe I'm wrong?) In fact, sometimes if he hasn't pooped in a day and seems grouchy, I'll put him in for a while to see if he poops. He often does and is MUCH happier.

Aspiring to 1 Thessalonians 4:11.Wife to Dh, 2004. Mother to DD 3/07.
So thankful for our healthy baby boy, born Easter morning, 2010!
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#66 of 136 Old 08-17-2010, 10:51 PM
 
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Sprout has decided to start sitting unassisted for long stretches of time! I love looking at him sitting up -- he looks like a totally different baby!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/femgeek/4903292780/

Yea to those who only saw one line!

137 days out for us. Whoo! And still no records.... We have to go in tomorrow at 10am and pay A DOLLAR A PAGE to get copies.

LNF -- How, exactly do you DO it with 5 kids?! I have 2 kids and a husband home during the week, and I can't accomplish nearly as much as you!

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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#67 of 136 Old 08-17-2010, 11:22 PM
 
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When I read you guys were going to take pregnancy tests I had a moment. I still cannot figure out how people do this baby thing with another kid! Glad to hear you're safe, for now... mwahahah!

So, my little man just broke a tooth through today! I had no idea. I was checking for bumps and white spots but didn't see anything. DH said he felt something this morning, sure enough! He has been chewing on people quite a bit lately. And this could explain the HORRIBLE sleep last night that resulted in DH staying home from work for a few hours this morning to give me a chance to get some actual sleep.

I am excited and dismayed. I am not ready for the gummy smiles to go away

Momma to born April 18, 2010!
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#68 of 136 Old 08-17-2010, 11:46 PM
 
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Jen, it's the learning curve largely. By the time you are at 5 kids spaced as closely as mine are (my oldest turns 8 this October), you will either have learned to adapt or you will be an utter disaster. There's not much in between. I just do 3 things at once, so that my oatmeal is cooling while I'm doing the dishes while the coffee pot is running. That way I have breakfast, coffee and a running dishwasher inside of 10 minutes. It's those shortcuts that you only figure out from having to manufacture time out of nowhere.

Add in that I'm still 25, so the energy level of someone in her mid 20s, and have never had a high needs infant, and am the oldest of 8 kids myself and this is not much of a struggle. Honestly it was harder for me at 2 kids than it is now at 5.

Catholic wife in love.gifwith my husband, mom to superhero.gifx5,  babygirl.gifx2, angel1.gifx6. Birther of babes, baker of bread, and connoisseur of human folly. WINNER OF THE SILVER BIRTH STOOL, APRIL 2010 DDC! Happily hospital birthing with my BFF, Epidural Man.
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#69 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 12:25 AM
 
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LNF, I'm taking notes.

I got so addicted to peeing on sticks when I was TTC Ada. I still want to buy a bunch and pee on them, even though we're using the oh so reliable pulling out method and of course I can't be pregnant. But seriously I can tell by just checking my cervix that I am not at all fertile right now.

My only sadness would also be the tank in supply, that worries me. I would be heartbroken!

Momma to Sweet Rosie 7/06, Lost Baby J 1/09 at 12 weeks pregnant, Spitfire Ada born 4/21/10, and Baby Boy due July/August 2013!
Aspiring urban homesteader, photographer, homeschooling momma! Blog link in my profile. 

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#70 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 01:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Jen - what a cutie!! We have the exact same exersaucer residing in our living room as well right now.
I got word tonight that a friend of ours who has been trying to adopt is on her way (with her husband!) to meet a baby girl and possibly bring her home! I am so excited for her, my heart has been beating a little faster all night! I've been pumping milk for her since DD2 has been born and I'm so excited to hand over my stash to her.

Mom to Morgan 4-3-06 and announcing Baby Kelsey 4-11-10
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#71 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 09:37 AM
 
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Thanks, LNF! Be 25 again. Got it!

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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#72 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 09:50 AM
 
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LNF, I'm taking notes.

I got so addicted to peeing on sticks when I was TTC Ada. I still want to buy a bunch and pee on them, even though we're using the oh so reliable pulling out method and of course I can't be pregnant. But seriously I can tell by just checking my cervix that I am not at all fertile right now.

My only sadness would also be the tank in supply, that worries me. I would be heartbroken!
Yep, that's my biggest concern. If I found out I was pregnant right now, I would be excited about a sister for DD or brother for DS... but I would worry about the toll on my body and especially milk supply.

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Thanks, LNF! Be 25 again. Got it!
Seriously, LNF, that is amazing. And you have an eight year old?!
I'm 26, and I definitely did not make any artisanal bread today. I read a recipe, though, and thought about how much I would LIKE to make artisanal bread. That's about as far as it usually goes for me.

Toys: DS loves his rings and stuffed animals small enough for him to suck on the paws... but his favorite toys are DD's dolls It only makes sense, since babies love other babies and faces... MIL joked one time that my FIL would "buy him a truck if he saw him playing with those dolls," () and I think the ensuing, stony silence bought me at least a few months without further comment.

Does anyone here read SouleMama's blog? There was a post this week about her son sewing his own pair of pants, and they were good looking! He seems like such a free, unencumbered spirit. I want that for both of my children.
link: http://www.soulemama.com/soulemama/2...tsolittle.html

Aspiring to 1 Thessalonians 4:11.Wife to Dh, 2004. Mother to DD 3/07.
So thankful for our healthy baby boy, born Easter morning, 2010!
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#73 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 10:12 AM
 
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I'm not 25 (no where close hehe) but I find four way way easier than I did two or even one. It is very much an adapt or be swallowed. I had to laugh LNF about your morning routine because that's what I do as well. Dishes while I wait for coffee. I pump while my oatmeal cools though. Now I don't make bread and my house is a mess but I homeschool and work....

As for pregnancy: I would like five but not now. I LOVED being pregnant with R and I LOVED her birth but there is a lot going on here. I think one should be able to provide for all their kids and we're not in a place where we could do that for another one. Plus the milk thing too, and I want R to have her own special baby period. Even if she doesn't remember it I will.

MMP: I loved that blog entry. I need to read some more of her blog. This is very much what I want for my children and I think we've mostly done it. Umberto is such a sweet kid who seems well rounded emotionally. I see so many boys damaged by stereotypes and I hate to see that happen to him. My girls are fierce so I'm not as worried about them:P

Mama to Umberto 12, Camille, 9, Piper 7, Rowena 2, and Jude Therese Prenatal DS diagnosis due December 23.

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#74 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 02:03 PM
 
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Argh, every time I think sleep is getting better, it falls apart. Last night I had a gig and so was gone till 9:30 - then babycakes was wide awake until 11:15! And she still managed to wake up nearly every hour to nurse or wiggle or something... and then was up for the morning at 9. Now she's fussy and we're off to the pediatrician for a check up and shots... Yikes! Not looking forward to the rest of the day.
She went from sleeping 5 hour stretches to maybe 2 in the last few weeks... no tooth bumps yet... just new skills I think?
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#75 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 02:48 PM
 
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so glad you guys aren't prego! ericka??

we THOUGHT we wanted a second kid (not sure now, w/ the pre-e scare looming), and if we do it would be pretty soon, i'm turning 37 in a few weeks. i would be really devastated to lose my milk supply too, and i want to nurse charlie for as long as he wants to.

sme, is there some secret to keeping up your supply while pregnant? can't remember if others of you have nursed through pregnancy. are some women bodies just more able to than others? i'd pump and take suppliments if i thought it would help if i were to get pregnant before charlie is finished nursing.

charlie was 4lbs 7oz at birth, and he's about 14 lbs now (13lbs 11oz two weeks ago). i can't remember his 2 month weight, but he's on the 25th% curve for weight and was then too. mpp, so glad you are freeeeee

me+him for 15 yrs, welcomed our little one march 25th, 2010.

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#76 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 06:02 PM
 
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Aww, Mater - I know how you feel about teaching. It's in my blood and I am happiest when I am teaching too.

danielle - glad the amazon prime tip helped you out. I am way excited about that!

babies staring at food - add dani to the club... staring very intently and almost grabbed DHs pastry from him yesterday! she had a good grip on the wrapping and DH was laughing until he realized he was going to have to pry it out of her hands to get it back LOL

rhi - i found a very cheap probiotic - don't know if its really any good, but its cheap!

sleep - DD wants to go to bed by 7:30 is usually. I try not to wait until she's overtired and today she was getting fussy and we both just laid down with all lights off and i hugged her littl earms down and she passed out without nursing! DS never did that I don't think. Here's hoping I'll have a good sleeper, but don't want to jinx myself LOL. During the day her patterns can be off. But Maybe that'll change not that she has a regular DCP.

going back to work - and of course, DD refused all bottles all week from DCP. Bless the DCP's heart, she is very understanding, but she's going to have to start taking her bottles!!!

weight - went to 4 mo appt and DD is 14 10 with a cloth diaper and 25.5. went to wic days later (prbably our last appt since I'll start getting a paycheck in about a month or more) and she was only 14 1 (without diaper) and 24.5 in?? weird. LOL

pregnancy - wow - i think i've only had sex 2x in 4 months LOL. not me! but hey, if you guys are game for it, you just do your thing, but not me! I have my hands full & am so paranoid about that kind of thing! My sister and my grandmother & my uncle all had opps babies.

~ Professor Mama to Gabito (July '07) & Danita (April '10) ~
A PhD = + +
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#77 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 08:43 PM
 
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Got Sprout's hospital records today.

Side note: they made this annoying and frustrating, as well. Difficult to make an appointment, refusing to let DH wear Sprout while reviewing the record, charging $1 a page.

Fine. Whatever. DH reviewed the record, we chose to get 11 pages of it.

It totally backs up our feelings that our NICU stay was completely unnecessary.

The ER visit -- we had no problems with that. What they did was completely appropriate. They charted it as Transient Tachypnea of the Newborn (TTN) and sent us to be monitored in the transition nursery. That was what we expected when we went to the hospital -- be monitored until his rate dropped, then go home. (The reason to go is that a respiratory rate that high could tire out a tiny baby and cause him to need a boost of oxygen.)

Overnight, in the transition nursery, his chart shows that his respiratory rate was dropping and was approaching normal levels (from 100+ down to the low 70s, where 70 is the cut-off for tachypnea).

Morning is where things went pear-shaped. We were passed off to the peds resident, a first year. Tachypnea for greater than 24 hours is a criteria for further work-ups. Sprout was, at this point, just barely past 24 hours old, and the resident felt that this qualified him. We argued then that his tachypnea hadn't lasted that long -- it didn't appear until 8 hours after birth. She argued that he was older than 24 hours, so he needed testing to rule out sepsis (!) and antibiotics until the cultures came back clean.

He had NO symptoms of sepsis (difficulty breathing, increased heart rate, lowered or unstable temperature, weak suck, jaundice). We had no complications which can lead to sepsis (premature rupture of the membranes, membrane rupture for an extended length of time, bleeding problems, a difficult delivery, infection in the uterus or placental tissues, fever in the mother). All of the charting reflects that he was a healthy, full-term baby who was just breathing a little fast. (There is the lovely part where they don't believe me about my HIV status, etc, and use that as an excuse until they chart, just a couple hours later, the arrival of my midwife's records from my pregnancy.)

This is when they started implicitly threatening to report us if we didn't agree to treatment.

We finally gave in and were transferred to the NICU. His stats in the NICU are all just at or just below the cut-off for tachypnea until the cultures came back clean and they let us go 3 days later.

I've mostly forgiven myself for what happened. Looking back, I don't know that there was much I could have done differently. I was a mess physically and emotionally. We were being railroaded and had little to no access to information and resources to make a call on our own. We had the threat of "risk management" hanging over our heads and the uncertainty of insurance payment if we left AMA.

I think, now, the most frustrating part is that there's no way to let that resident know that she made a bad call. I want to point out that there was no basis for it, to tell her what happened after she signed off and what a mess it made. There's no recourse for over-treatment, and it's infuriating.

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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#78 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 08:52 PM
 
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wait, why wouldn't they let him wear sprout?

Hippie sympathizer and mom to L, 4.8.10.
Pet-mom to Squirt with FLUTD & Maya the deaf wonder dog .
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#79 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 08:58 PM
 
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Jen What a bunch of baloney. Argh!

LNF - I'm glad AND disappointed at the same time that I didn't have my kids younger. (I'm 32) But I think mostly glad. Our friends are also just now starting their families, so it's a good time. I bet the energy would be nice, though...


AFM - NEWS FLASH - T slept 7 hours all by himself last night. The longest stretch before that was 5 hours about 2 months ago!! I am trying not to hope it happens again, becuase I hate being disappointed.

All naps now have to happen in the Mei Tai. I tried again today to nurse him down, and he just struggles and whines in the swaddle. I get SO FRUSTRATED with him because I know he needs to nap, and mintues after he's in the MEi Tai, he's out. My back is KILLING me. But I should be grateful that he now naps well SOMEwhere and that I no longer feel anxious that he's not getting enough sleep. Of course, now he's not sleeping as long at night. He was sleeping 14 hours (with many many wake ups for nursing), which was nice becuase I could still go to bed when I wanted to. Now it's 11-12 hours, so I've got to modify my sleep schedule since he won't let me nap with him during the day. That's ok, I need to remember that a) things always change and b) to be grateful for the calm naps this week.

Love you guys

Momma to born April 18, 2010!
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#80 of 136 Old 08-18-2010, 08:59 PM
 
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wait, why wouldn't they let him wear sprout?
First, it was because space was too tight (DH is skinnier wearing a baby than most people are without). Then, it was because Sprout might grab something (he's face-in in the Beco -- there's no way his arms are getting out). Finally, it was because if he started crying, it would disturb the other people.

Keep in mind, this is in a small room. Half is a waiting area, half is the work/computer area. The halves are separated by a wall that's mostly occupied by an open window and an open door. So instead of happily snuggling in his carrier, he had to sit on my lap FIVE FEET AWAY. Yeah, crying is a lot more quiet from that distance.

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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#81 of 136 Old 08-19-2010, 12:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Jen, I forget, were you a homebirth? Could that have something to do with it? Sucks either way.

So I lost my Beco today!!! I accidentally left it behind at a small train museum about 45 mins away. We went to the train museum after a really cool train ride - ride the train for an hour, stop at a park for a picnic and play for an hour, then take the train back. After, they opened the museum for us and I took off the Beco and was nursing Kelsey. Then she had a blowout diaper, I got distracted and I left it sitting on a chair. Luckily, it is a very small operation so I'm 95% sure I'll get it back. BUT there is no one there again until Saturday, so I won't find out until then and then of course I'll have to make the 90 min roundtrip to go get it again....And we're going out of town tomorrow for 10 days and I'll have no Beco. I've got a solarweave connecta, but it's not the same. Hoping I get it back.....

Mom to Morgan 4-3-06 and announcing Baby Kelsey 4-11-10
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#82 of 136 Old 08-19-2010, 12:46 AM
 
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Jen What a bunch of baloney. Argh!

LNF - I'm glad AND disappointed at the same time that I didn't have my kids younger. (I'm 32) But I think mostly glad. Our friends are also just now starting their families, so it's a good time. I bet the energy would be nice, though...


AFM - NEWS FLASH - T slept 7 hours all by himself last night. The longest stretch before that was 5 hours about 2 months ago!! I am trying not to hope it happens again, becuase I hate being disappointed.

All naps now have to happen in the Mei Tai. I tried again today to nurse him down, and he just struggles and whines in the swaddle. I get SO FRUSTRATED with him because I know he needs to nap, and mintues after he's in the MEi Tai, he's out. My back is KILLING me. But I should be grateful that he now naps well SOMEwhere and that I no longer feel anxious that he's not getting enough sleep. Of course, now he's not sleeping as long at night. He was sleeping 14 hours (with many many wake ups for nursing), which was nice becuase I could still go to bed when I wanted to. Now it's 11-12 hours, so I've got to modify my sleep schedule since he won't let me nap with him during the day. That's ok, I need to remember that a) things always change and b) to be grateful for the calm naps this week.

Love you guys
Oh, I am feeling you there, girl! Naps are always a struggle for us too. The longest S has slept without wakeups at night is 5 hours, and that hasn't happened for weeks. Now she's mostly doing 2-3 hour stretches, and last night it was more like fussing and squirming every hour. She was up till 11:15, too, and up at 9ish, so she was super tired, AND then missed her nap to get vax instead. Yipes!
However... she had some great naps afterwards. 2 hours for the first time in probably 3 months! But I felt so sad about the ouchy pain of the vax that I couldn't really enjoy it, just felt guilty.

And, I am really really going to try to stick to the NCSS routine and ideas for the next 10 days to see if it can help our day and nighttime naps. But that means that for the past HOUR I struggled to get S to sleep at a decent hour (cause she was tired and we did her bathtime/ bedtime routine). She finally fell asleep after I snuggled her on the futon and then walked away while she was still awake. Weird girl... I know she'll wake up again in the next hour and I'll have to go through it all again. Gr... patience is key, right?

The trick is sticking to the routine without getting all tense and controlling about it... so hard for me.

I took think I might have more energy for baby/ kids if I started younger than I did (32!). LNF, do you think that starting to mother relatively young helped you get in the groove more than some of us (me)? I suppose growing up in a big family helps too!

Jen, that is so frustrating and yucky... I'm working with my therapist to put some of the birth trauma stuff behind. Have you thought about doing an art project or another way of releasing what you and Sprout went through? So sad. And sucky!
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#83 of 136 Old 08-19-2010, 09:22 AM
 
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snoopy -- Yeah, we were a homebirth. They had no idea what to do with us. And all of the nurses were way more confused than necessary that Sprout had a name -- all of the other kids in the NICU are just "Baby Boy/Girl LastName". Sprout was admitted with a name, and it threw people for a crazy loop!

LNF -- Didn't you say they tried to call elevated CRP on you guys? They did to us. Turns out the lab sheet even says not to use it -- something to the effect of "no clinical significance in infants".

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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#84 of 136 Old 08-19-2010, 09:22 AM
 
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Tri and Jess, I think on the age stuff, it's two part:

1. late teens/early 20s are still when you're forming habits. I have the habit of taking care of kids formed. It really is just part of how I see my "normal" now: nurse baby, change diapers, run 50 zillions of loads of laundry. I never had a period of time where I was completely by myself really. I went from being at home with my parents to being a pregnant and then parenting college student, which leads me to #2...

2. My husband and I were both full time students for the first 4 years of our marriage, so we spent more time co-parenting and having to live with eachother than a lot of people do in those first couple of years. We started college pregnant with our oldest, graduated with our 3rd child being born, and scheduled our classes so that one of us was always with the kids. I took nursing infants to class with me. So, I don't have the culture shock that almost all parents have, and the hardest transitions (in my opinion, it is harder to have kids 1 to 3 than it is once you're past that point) all happened with two adults around the majority of the time. We both took 12-19 hours of classes a semester, and then my husband worked a part time job at UPS to get us health insurance benefits. It worked out ideally.

And my youngest sister is only about 3 years older than my oldest son, so I had a *lot* of baby experience in terms of the security of knowing what is "normal" and what needs to get checked out by a ped. I think I'll be pretty weirded out when there isn't a baby in the house anymore.

I don't think there's ever a "right" age to have your family so much as situations that are more or less workable for you to introduce children into the mix. We just hit a very workable situation far earlier than a lot of people, but we are also planning on extending out having kids for almost a 20 year span, and we'll probably wind up around 10 kids. My husband is as much of a baby nut as I am.

But things are as easy as they are definitely because of the specific circumstances we have, and as I said... we've never had a truly high needs infant. I've had two near robo babies now, who slept through the night almost from birth. And I've never had a c-section or a birth that was physically traumatic enough to me to throw me seriously off kilter. High needs infant, mother having a serious recovery from birth, PPD, family member sick, financial stress, employment issues... any of those and I think it's not reasonable to expect to be able to do the manic muffin making.

And this novel is why I should have my coffee in the morning BEFORE reading MDC.

Catholic wife in love.gifwith my husband, mom to superhero.gifx5,  babygirl.gifx2, angel1.gifx6. Birther of babes, baker of bread, and connoisseur of human folly. WINNER OF THE SILVER BIRTH STOOL, APRIL 2010 DDC! Happily hospital birthing with my BFF, Epidural Man.
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#85 of 136 Old 08-19-2010, 11:17 AM
 
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Jen, I'm still waiting on the records from one of the hospitals. But yes, we were told elevated CRP and elevated bands.

According to the records from FAILspital, CRP levels were done on day 2 and day 3 of life. They went from 130 something to 160 something. Anything over 10 allegedly indicates a possible infection, with levels over 100 having a high correlation with infection. And her band levels were I think the highest that any of the NICU doctors had ever seen. I don't have the exact number, but it was marked "HH" or "high high" on the lab sheet.

HOWEVER, what do you make of rising CRP levels when symptoms have completely resolved? If you've been on the same med throughout, that's an indication to switch the med because the med isn't working. But, they did not switch the meds and she did not have a second set of respiratory symptoms at X days old. So, the antibiotics were essentially pointless. There was no infection.

That does leave the question of why the heck she was suffering from so much inflammation. A bizarre twin to twin transfusion might explain it, as might a traumatic birth which stressed her enough to have an H1N1 relapse. And there's the possibility out in left field that her twin was RH negative and there was blood mixing, to give her RH disease. Her jaundice also peaked quite early, which would be consistent with her red blood cells getting shredded. And I had that serious fall right before my due date, and that probable abruption during labor. So, there is the opportunity for blood mixing to have happened.

Well, whatever the cause of the severe hydrops, it was enough to cause all of her subsequent problems. The initial x-ray right off the bat tells the doctor to consider the vascular congestion, and girlfriend needed serious suctionioning while she was on the ventilator. None of it grew anything, but lots and lots of fluid.

Jen, NICU is some bizarre world where nothing you say matters once they get an idea in their heads. Nothing. They are absolutely unmoveable, and don't remotely recognize parental rights. You can make the best argument, and it doesn't work. I know how frustrating it is. Heck, the doctor from hell HIMSELF admitted that he'd be really happy to hear the line of reasoning I was using from any of the residents he was training, but that it didn't matter because it was his call. Honestly, I think the younger doctors are worse in this regard than the older ones. In both hospitals, the doctors we had the best rapport with were the ones who had been doing NICU for a long long time. I think it's mostly the tremendous fear of what would look to a jury like a preventable bad outcome, so our kids get treated as "lawsuits in the making" until proven otherwise.

It is horrible. Absolutely horrible. And I keep thinking of ways I "should" have done things too. Once they lost the IV site, I should have asked to transfer her to the well baby unit and her pediatrician's care, because he would have worked with me better, for example. There are thousands of ways that we "could" have done things, and in theory they work. But in practice, NICU is essentially jail: easy to get in, hard as hell to get out.


Catholic wife in love.gifwith my husband, mom to superhero.gifx5,  babygirl.gifx2, angel1.gifx6. Birther of babes, baker of bread, and connoisseur of human folly. WINNER OF THE SILVER BIRTH STOOL, APRIL 2010 DDC! Happily hospital birthing with my BFF, Epidural Man.
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#86 of 136 Old 08-19-2010, 01:31 PM
 
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it breaks my heart to hear how bad your NICU stays were

I fought daily for what I wanted for J, but I never looked at it like jail. They were taking care of my baby, essentially saving my babies life. I had to trust the nurses and the Dr.s. I will admit that I fought tooth and nail and no, I didn't want to be there.....but I had to be there. I will always hold a special place in my heart for the NICU. When we go back for LC, sometimes I see nurses that cared for J and it's special...these people raised my baby with me for 42 days. I certainly never looked at it like jail, I am thankful it was there to save my baby and I am thankful my son was healthy enough to graduate from the NICU.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...9&id=559354280 He was my favorite NICU nurse. He gave me my NICU tour, he was there to grab Jennings after he was delivered and he was by our side the entire time and we still see him when we go up there. I keep meaning to go back for our "6 month" reunion.

I don't know if I ever told you guys, but after my c/s I was on the mother baby unit. Well they had a lot of moms delivering that weekend I guess, cause the mother baby unit filled up so much that on Saturday they moved me. They moved me upstairs. Upstairs was not the place to be though, they put me on the wing where it was all moms who lost their babies. They were walking up and down the hallways crying and crying in their rooms. That's when I went down to stay in J's room. I was so mad they would put me up there, first after a c/s and having a baby in the NICU??? It was so sad that they isolated those mamas like that I had to go up every three hours to be checked and get meds. I hated it, but enjoyed sleeping near my baby for the first time.

I hope that you guys never really truly need to have a baby in the NICU with such a sour taste it left in your mouths. I guess having my first in the NICU for 22 days and my second in there for 42, I have a high risk for a third being there and trust is important. I just stood up for what I wanted and I made my voice heard, guess I am thankful I had a NICU where I could do that.

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#87 of 136 Old 08-19-2010, 01:42 PM
 
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Erica, it is always good for me to read stories like yours.

I read SO many things these days about unnecessary medical treatment, and I often forget to think about how thankful I would be for "cutting edge" treatment if I or my children really needed medical help. In my opinion, more treatment is doled out than there is need for, but "knowing" people like you (Erica) and P&H for whom good medical treatment made a big difference is very good for me.

Aspiring to 1 Thessalonians 4:11.Wife to Dh, 2004. Mother to DD 3/07.
So thankful for our healthy baby boy, born Easter morning, 2010!
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#88 of 136 Old 08-19-2010, 02:02 PM
 
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Ericka -- I'm really glad that there are NICUs for situations like Jennings' and Cambell's. Your little ones needed the NICU, as some babies do, and the NICU does amazing things.

My problems with the NICU stem from the fact that we never should have been there. If I'd needed it, I'm sure I would be singing its praises, and rightfully so.

I'm glad to hear there are NICUs out there with doctors who listen and nurses who care and environments that support parental involvement and breastfeeding. I just didn't happen to be in one.

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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#89 of 136 Old 08-19-2010, 02:15 PM
 
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LNF, great insight, that's kind of what I was assuming. On the one hand, I relish all of the alone time I have had for YEARS and the alone time with my husband, and wouldn't trade that for the world. On the other hand, it has made the transition into motherhood super shocking, which I can only assume contributed more to my PPD. I wish there was a balance, a way that our society kept babies and parenting in a honored and normal place... but I feel like it's all weird and kinda hidden. Ugh. Anyhoo. If I had started younger, like in my early 20s, it would have been closer to when I used to babysit, care for my little brother, and teach swimming lessons to little ones, I would've probably been a lot more "ready" to care for a baby and give my life over to mothering than I am now. But if I had had a baby at that point in my life, BOY, let's just say I was not ready in any other way... I was a mess. So glad you and your DH are on the same page about parenting and loving it!

So sorry to everyone who is still struggling with the NICU situation. I cannot imagine how hard that must be. My birth felt scary and traumatic in its own way, but really, everyone was fine and reunited within a few hours, and the hospital mostly honored our wishes. But it still made me feel powerless, afraid, and sad... so I hope you ladies are all working through recovering from your feelings. Anger is probably super justified and good!

Glad everyone's babes are healthy and happy, overall.

S is still not really interested in rolling over. I know she can do it but she's just not doing it much. Maybe it's partly cause we have hardwood floors and I have to put her on a blanket and it's kinda slippy and slidey? She also STILL isn't able to find her fingers and thumb to suck on when she's sleepy. But she is starting to sit up unsupported for a few seconds, loves standing, and is making new vocalizations every day. She's a quiet, soft giggler but when it does happen it's like heaven

Not ticklish yet, though. Anyone else's babe ticklish?

Can you believe we're coming up on 5 months here?!! I need to catch myself when I start thinking, "as soon as she can sit up, my life will be easier. As soon as XYZ, I'll be freer"... I gotta just stay in the moment and enjoy this baby now!
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#90 of 136 Old 08-19-2010, 02:50 PM
 
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Ericka, I didn't have a problem with the NICU when there were actual problems they were working to fix. They moved faster than I thought they would to get Mercy off of everything except the antibiotics. But the diagnostics were utterly ridiculous. They were responsive to the medical needs, but had absolutely no idea what they were dealing with diagnostically.

Meconium aspiration when there is no meconium near the baby's face such that she could aspirate it? She "could have" meningitis, but the dosages of meds she's on would not be effective against meningitis? She has pneumonia bad enough to need a ton of suctioning of fluid, except that there is no bacteria in that fluid and nothing showing up on any x-ray aside from fluid overload? Brain cell death that somehow miraculously disappeared inside of an hour, but was "hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy"? They had no clue what they were dealing with diagnostically.

But for me, it was 10 days only. Thank God it was only 10 days, and not the duration of time that you had to have. I'm glad that you had the better setting, if that makes any sense? We had a bunch of freaking morons who were the Q team of neonatal medicine, but past the initial issues (where they did what anyone else would have) she didn't need the best doctors. She didn't really need *any* doctors or nurses at that point. She just needed her mom, and I was there for her... even though the hospital did not want me to be there, and was unsupportive as they could have been throughout that period.

I wish there was a form of certification that NICUs could have for mother/baby friendliness. It sounds like you were in an amazing hospital. I just wish we had one even half as good in our area.

Catholic wife in love.gifwith my husband, mom to superhero.gifx5,  babygirl.gifx2, angel1.gifx6. Birther of babes, baker of bread, and connoisseur of human folly. WINNER OF THE SILVER BIRTH STOOL, APRIL 2010 DDC! Happily hospital birthing with my BFF, Epidural Man.
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