Weekly Thread August 22-29....? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 65 Old 08-22-2010, 09:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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hey ladies, thought i'd start the new week's thread. fun reading all the sleeping adventures we're having from the end of last week.



i'm kinda disappointed that my plan to keep charlie flexible for night times isn't as easy as keeping things varied. he really does do better having quiet time and going down here at home. he rarely goes to sleep out in the carrier anymore, and if we put him down at someone else's house and move him, he wakes up. but..... he does go back to sleep easily. i shouldn't complain, i just hoped the sleep anywhere phase was going to last forever.

totally agree that even a 5-hr stretch counts as STTN, and agree it's so sad that so many parents are told otherwise/stressed/pressured into believing all kinds of bogus ideas about infant sleep.

last night i kept him up til 8 using massage (he would have gone down at 7:30), and my husband and i went out to see Inception! it was our first "date." both of us agreed we don't care about having time away from charlie, but it was nice to see something in the theatre that needs to be seen in the theatre . my mom and dad hung out w/ charlie and he didn't make a peep. we hit a 9pm, and were home by midnight, after stopping for milk.

omg, awesome movie.

me+him for 15 yrs, welcomed our little one march 25th, 2010.

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#2 of 65 Old 08-22-2010, 12:56 PM
 
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since when did August have temps like November?

Jennings had that great night when he slept for 10hrs and now he wakes every 2 wanting to eat. Now if I was breastfeeding, it wouldn't be a big deal..BUT he won't breastfeed, so he wants a bottle every two hours, no way dude.

I wanted to go to the Farmer's Market today, still might. I wish it wasn't so cold. I am going to go to my friends house to do breakfast for my birthday and then hang out and play Wii. She is babysitting so not much she can do

no circ/vax-babywearer-cosleeping-pumping/breastfeeding-homeschooling single mama to Junebug , Sugarbug and expecting
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#3 of 65 Old 08-22-2010, 01:15 PM
 
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If only it were cooler! It's mid-90s and ridiculous humidity. I'm so sick of summer. And it'll be till late September until it gets cool enough to go outside again!

Sprout's been sleeping his normal 11-12 hours at night, but after a nice intial stretch of 5 or so, he wakes every 2 hrs -- which means he sleeps while I'm awake, and starts waking up when I go to bed. At least he hasn't been doing rolling practice for the last few nights.

Weird thing is, he's been taking HUUUUGE naps (for him). The last 2 days he's napped 1-2 hours every time he goes down. After 30 minutes, I start getting antsy. At an hour, I start worrying! But it lets me be so productive, it's amazing! I can get chores done, homeschool things prepped, and even spend one on one time with Nugget!

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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#4 of 65 Old 08-22-2010, 02:17 PM
 
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L is still sleeping well at night, but I'm really scared to type that. But, then again, after her first month of life I'm pretty sure I deserve a baby who sleeps!

Right now she's asleep on my back. Her sleeping in a back carry makes me a bit nervous because her head is still a bit unstable when she's asleep. So I can't make sudden movements.

I'm trying to clean up some though, and move some stuff around. Waiting for DH to come upstairs. He finally got the basement in some sort of organization! Woohoo! His parents brought us some utility shelves and they were EXACTLY what we needed to finally get all the boxes out of the middle of the floor down there. And it means I can finally get some of the random stuff out of the other rooms in the house and put them downstairs, too! Woo!

Hippie sympathizer and mom to L, 4.8.10.
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#5 of 65 Old 08-22-2010, 02:54 PM
 
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We got from 10pm-4:30am here last night. Hoping I didn't just jinx it.

I'm processing Elaina's placenta into capsules today. The smell is horrifying. Apparently I'm all good with placentas until we try to cook one.

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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#6 of 65 Old 08-22-2010, 05:41 PM
 
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Sprout fell asleep in the car coming back from Joann's for 15 minutes, then woke up when we got into the garage (usually he's good about transitioning to the crib). Now, he apparently thinks that was his afternoon nap and he won't go back to sleep. This means, to make it to our normal bedtime, he'll have to have been up from 1pm until 7pm with that one, 15-minute nap. If I put him down early, he'll be up early, and we'll have a heck of a time breaking out of the "early" schedule.

Yeah. Tonight is going to be a disaster.

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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#7 of 65 Old 08-22-2010, 06:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by erickalynne View Post
since when did August have temps like November?
I want to live where you live. I'm over summer.

Momma to born April 18, 2010!
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#8 of 65 Old 08-22-2010, 08:15 PM
 
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My little boy is a trooper. He held out until just 30 minutes before his usual bedtime!

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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#9 of 65 Old 08-22-2010, 08:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by triony View Post
I want to live where you live. I'm over summer.
we had one month of summer and that's a MAYBE one month...It didn't honestly warm up till July, after the 4th cause I remember dressing J in a bunting for the fireworks...they almost canceled summer in the PNW..it's rainy and cold today though, perfect day for me

no circ/vax-babywearer-cosleeping-pumping/breastfeeding-homeschooling single mama to Junebug , Sugarbug and expecting
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#10 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 01:08 AM
 
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Hey, all, we have been on vacation for the past lil over a week! Took the kids out to Sesame Place which freakin ROCKED. DD1 got to meet almost all of the major SS characters & have her picture taken. She loved it! Did lots of water stuff including some slides & she also rode a whole bunch of rides. It was an incredibly expensive and awesome place! Thankfully my mom and grandmom footed almost the entire bill, so that was great. We stayed at my grandmother's house & did the park on Monday and Wednesday. DD2 was just the best lil baby there, chilling out the whole time and loving it. Unfortunately, she did not enjoy the hour long car ride home either day and cried the entire time both times. For anyone who lives nearby (we live seven hours away), I absolutely recommend it for a trip for the little ones.

In other news, to celebrate national breastfeeding month (Yes, I'm late to the party), I present to you the official Nom-nom-nom Happy Breastfeeding Emoticon --> : D(.)(.) Normally you would not put a space in between the colon and the D, but MDC will turn it into its own smiley face if I don't. Anyhoodle, enjoy that one. I do b/c dd2 has totally gotten old enough to pop off the boob, look at me, and smile, heehee!!!

jumpers.gif

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#11 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 02:08 AM
 
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dogretro, love the emoticon! MDC needs to add that one officially to its repertoire
It's been a freezing, foggy summer here, too. Normally I wouldn't complain but the fog keeps me extra low and I had envisioned all kinds of cute baby outfits based on hot hot days. Instead we've had to bundle her up, especially at night. At least there's been very little heat rash? Finally got some sunshine today, and I took the babe to my parents' house, where we lay in the hammock, on the grass (mostly in the shade). That was nice.

But I gotta confess, I am really getting to my wit's end with the sleeping issues around here. I'm TRYING to stick to the NCSS 10 day plan, but I already feel so defeated and it's like day 4. Ugh. We've been doing the bedtime routine (bath, pajamas, 2 stories, lights out, nursing, rocking, then bed) but that's where it falls apart. She still will only fall asleep for me if I'm lying next to her and sort of smooshing her legs with my body while she sucks on my fingers. Then she always ALWAYS wakes up after the first sleep cycle (45 minutes later) and I have to basically do the whole bedtime thing again. The first time, she typically goes down easily, and then the second time can take up to an hour. ARGH.
A million things are racing through my mind while I'm trying to stay patient - she's still young and things will get better naturally - I'm training her to only want to suck on my fingers which is why she still can't get her own and self soothe - I need to be less lazy and more active in rocking her or walking her to sleep even if she's fussing - I need to have DH be able to put her to sleep - we need an earlier bedtime - we should just let her stay up with us until she naturally falls asleep - etc. I'm driving myself crazy! Tonight I felt like punching a hole in the wall after half an hour of trying to get her to sleep - and she WILL fall asleep for a few minutes but won't stay that way - so I put her in her crib and went outside and said, "F it, I'm letting her cry" but DH went in and got her. I'm glad he did, since if we do decide to try that, I don't want it to just be out of anger, but then she wailed way more while he tried to soothe her.

Finally I brought her out to watch tv with us and she fell asleep sucking on my fingers so, who knows. I am telling myself that she is very young yet, and that it's okay to mess up "the routine" (especially since it's not yet working), and that things will get better once she can suck her own hands, and that I should just be doing whatever works at this point. But the truth is that I feel stupid, I feel confused, and I feel like I'm doing something wrong... like all other mothers know how to do something I don't.

I don't think I would be so stressed except it's like this for all sleep. Hard to get her to go to sleep. Hard to get her to STAY asleep. Hard to get her to nap. Hard to sleep through her wiggling in the morning. More and more to get HER to sleep at all, I have to be awake and doing something.

And we're not even teething yet! Aiyiyi.

Luckily I'm convinced that CIO isn't an option, not only because I don't want to but also because I don't think it would work (at least not without a lot of trauma), she only seems to amplify herself with the crying. But my mom told me today that when I was 6 months old, she let me cry for 10-15 minutes or so and it worked in training me to fall asleep.

Then again, I remain a terrible insomniac and light sleeper, so who knows!

Sorry for the ranting, off to bed while I can. Just feeling SO stressed...
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#12 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 07:55 AM
 
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s Jess. You may be trying all of this in the middle of the 4 month sleep regression, so that might be part of the problem. Re: CIO working for some: I've always liked Moxie's idea of tension releasers vs tension increasers. Basically, some kids need to cry a bit to release the stress of the day, some kids become more upset (http://www.askmoxie.org/2006/06/babies_and_cio.html). DD was a tension increaser, but DS is a (slight) tension releaser. He goes to sleep easily now, but around 3 months he would fuss for a few minutes before going out -- nothing we could do about it. So if you have a tension releaser, a (very small) amount of crying might help. But if she's a tension increaser, crying will just make it worse.

It's very true that she's so young yet, and I can guarentee she won't be sucking on your fingers at 3 years old. But, yeah, I can definitely understand wanting to break that habit.

Remember that it is just day 4. AND maybe the 4 month regression. Gear yourself up that things are going to be rough for the next week (or two) and just push through and try. If you give up on the plan now, you'll just have to do those first 4 days again another time.

Or, chalk it up to the regression, give in, do whatever you need to do to get her to sleep, and try again at 5 months.

Speaking of sleep.... Sprout was in bed 30 minutes early because of that skipped nap. And for him, even a slightly early bedtime means he wakes up ridiculously early. So he was up at 5:30am to toss and turn and roll around and babble and smack the crib and rub the sheets. I could not get him back to sleep but he's not really upset, so I've just let him hang out in the crib. He's been rolling and scooting around for an hour and a half now!

Jen, former sys admin and current geek , wife to DH , SAHM and Montessori homeschool teacher to DD "Nugget" (05/07) and new arrival DS "Sprout" (03/31/10)
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#13 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 08:08 AM
 
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L must have slept a lot last night because my boobs are fulllllll! I hope she's hungry when I wake her up in a few minutes.

It's been a horribly hot summer here. Most days have had heat indexes over 100. Luckily the hottest week was pretty dry so it wasn't very bad. But still, I'm excited that most of the 10 day forecast is now only in the upper 80s. And tomorrow's forecast high is only 79!!!!!

And this is all coming from someone who HATES cold. But geeeeez, it's been so hot.

Hippie sympathizer and mom to L, 4.8.10.
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#14 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 09:54 AM
 
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i love cold...i actually LOVE snow and wished I lived somewhere where there was more. Portland OR/Vancouver WA can get some bad winters and then we may barely have a winter, we have rain..I think it snowed one day this past season? rain the rest.


I don't believe in CIO but is it coined "CIO" if they are in your arms and you can't get them to stop crying?

Jennings is a screamer. He has lungs. This kid is smart and makes me work for silence. This includes ssssshhhhhing, patting his butt and bouncing him all at the same time and if I stop one, just one, he starts screaming. People laugh at me, it's like I am a trained circus to do all at once.

no circ/vax-babywearer-cosleeping-pumping/breastfeeding-homeschooling single mama to Junebug , Sugarbug and expecting
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#15 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 10:23 AM
 
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I just did my 2nd run on the Couch to 5k program. I think that I like running in 2 tenses: the future tense (I WILL run!), and the past tense (I ran!) It's only in the present tense (I am running) that I want to kill someone.

I need more records from the Really Big hospital, but I think Dr. @$$hole is the one who decided Mercy had invisible brain damage. He's where that idiot diagnosis comes into the records that I have. If my guess is correct, I will have to figure out what to do next, because that is *not* consistent with her clinical course, and I don't want her to have problems down the line because some bozo with a personal problem with a younger, educated woman questioning him decided to diagnose my baby as brain damaged to get back at me.

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#16 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 10:46 AM
 
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Erica, I do *not* think that it's CIO if the baby is in your arms as long as you're not letting him cry to teach him a lesson of some sort. I honestly think the term CIO is way overused, especially on MDC.

Sometimes L cries. Usually I can fix it. Sometimes I can't. Sometimes I can, but it takes a minute. Sometimes for the sake of my sanity I *have* to finish eating before I go get her (you don't want to deal with hungry Rhi). Sometimes I have to pee. It doesn't happen as much now as it did in her colicky early days, but still.

AFM- We had a poopsplosion on the way to day care this morning. I was in the car and heard a weird noise and was wondering what it was. It briefly crossed my mind that maybe it was a poop noise. Then I got to day care, opened the car door, and there she was sitting in a pool of poop. ugh. Luckily I had a bunch of prefolds in the car, or I don't know what I would have done. I managed to pick her up and get prefolds under her butt without getting poop on my work clothes, and carried her into day care like that. It took a TON of wipes to get her clean. She had poop all down her legs, on the sides of her legs, ect. I had it on my arms. I got to work and took a bunch of paper towels outside to wipe out the seat as best I can. I can't wash it until I get home tonight. Gross. At least it's only on the infant insert.

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#17 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 01:01 PM
 
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Ericka - Nope, not CIO. You are trying to meet his needs, he knows you have not left him, you don't have a agenda.

Becky is a tension releaser, which is great after two tension builders. Becky will eat, pop off, start sucking her thumb, be in sleepy mode, and then as soon as I lay her down she will cry for 30 seconds, and then be completely out. If I pick her up she is even more miserable, so it's not a "Help, help, I need you!" cry, but a "Ohhhh bed I missed you, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" cry.

The other girls, if you didn't catch them within the first minute of fussing it went straight into hysterics, so i spent all day rushing to get them before they went overboard. That is so exhausting, emotionally and physically.

Ivory, partner to Tom, mama to Ella (12/9/05), Alice (12/8/07), and our newest addition, Rebecca (4/1/10).
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#18 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 01:15 PM
 
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Becky is a tension releaser, which is great after two tension builders. Becky will eat, pop off, start sucking her thumb, be in sleepy mode, and then as soon as I lay her down she will cry for 30 seconds, and then be completely out. If I pick her up she is even more miserable, so it's not a "Help, help, I need you!" cry, but a "Ohhhh bed I missed you, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" cry.
This is exactly it!

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#19 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 02:09 PM
 
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Thanks for the support, guys. The thing is - this stage of what I think is sleep regression started August 1st (my birthday!) so it's been going on most nights for weeks now. So I'm trying to stay calm (not working very well!) but am also really frustrated that it's still happening, AND she doesn't seem to be making any huge developmental strides. Grr.
But then I catch myself and tell myself "maybe she's working through several things at once, and I just can't see them yet. I know that she's slept consistent 5 hour stretches in the past, so it will happen again. She has a hard time falling asleep but that is consistent with her father and myself, so it's not her fault. She is very sensitive and I need to be sensitive to that."

So, I'm trying to stick to the NCSS and hope that the regression will be helped by bedtime routine consistency, even if what ends up happening beyond that (between 9pm and 8am) is a mess of musical beds, comfort nursing, finger sucking, and, what I finally realized would help this morning at 6am when she was still asleep but couldn't stop flailing - sleeping in her bouncey seat. Why didn't I think of this earlier? I blame sleep dep

You guys are just the best. I never realized how much sheer CONFUSION would make me feel crazy in terms of motherhood. Those first few weeks I felt constantly incompetent and confused... now when sleep falls apart, I feel like I go back to square one and think, "what do I even DO right now??". When I would babysit or hold other peoples' babies, I never felt that way because even if they were crying or fussy, I could just hold them and rock them and deal with it. I seriously underestimated how different it is with your own baby! Both in terms of stress hormones and the 24/7-ness of it all.

Phew. I also told myself this morning that the finger sucking comes from her wanting to be physically attached to me, and that I will miss that need sooner than I think, when she is more independent. Right?

Sorry I complained about the cold, now it's supposed to be 100+ here this week. Yikes!
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#20 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 02:26 PM
 
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I just sent 461oz of breastmilk to a mama. wow. If you're on my FB, I am sure you have seen the pictures?
I have this anxiety I will run out and need it...but I won't, I have plenty but that fear is nagging me.

It's like J is a newborn with colic all over again. He goes into hysterics.


So a question for the moms who aren't breastfeeding. Do you feel connected to baby? If you breastfed previous babies, do you feel as connected to this baby as your others?

I don't feel I have a connection to J as I did/do with C. C would never let anyone hold her. She only wanted me. She always was nursing too. We had this bond that was amazing. J doesn't care. Anyone can hold him and he could care less. Sometimes he doesn't even want me to hold him, he screams and screams until someone else holds him and he stops. I don't get it. We are not bonded. I don't feel as close to him?

no circ/vax-babywearer-cosleeping-pumping/breastfeeding-homeschooling single mama to Junebug , Sugarbug and expecting
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#21 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 03:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i don't have anything to compare him to, but charlie doesn't seem to have a preference for me over others, unless he needs to eat. and lately he's wanted to eat right while falling to sleep at night. he still pops off when he's finished, but to settle he needs the boob.

anyway, i'm thankful for it, but ericka, because i know not breastfeeding J is a big deal. i bet no one else can do the one-woman circus the way you can!

rhi, omg, that sounds like a crazy morning! glad only the insert got hit...

charlie seems to need to fuss a little bit sometimes when he's sleepy, and i'm surprised when sometimes he needs to be put down before he can calm down. it's not consistent though...

we joined the ranks of AC households, and i am sooooo thankful. with my parents coming to stay w/ us for 3 weeks, and the heat and humidity of this crazy summer, and my husband working from home, we were d.o.n.e. thankfully we had the ducts and forced air system already, just had to add the heat pump on, so it was 1/2 what we had thought it might cost.

me+him for 15 yrs, welcomed our little one march 25th, 2010.

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#22 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 07:28 PM
 
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Ericka, I haven't not nursed in a few kids, but my oldest was bottle fed from 6 weeks on. Long term, it has not remotely effected our bonding. I didn't realize what I was missing, having not nursed before, but they get older and the relationship in general is not as dependent on feeding time.


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#23 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 08:46 PM
 
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Ericka, I haven't not nursed in a few kids, but my oldest was bottle fed from 6 weeks on. Long term, it has not remotely effected our bonding. I didn't realize what I was missing, having not nursed before, but they get older and the relationship in general is not as dependent on feeding time.

I guess I'm not even referring to feeding time?
I feed him no matter what. I just don't feel as close to him as I did with C. I mean, she wanted nothing to do with anyone but me ever, up until maybe 2-3yrs of age, but we still have that close bond. Jennings acts as if I am a stranger sometimes and eh he doesn't need me for anything. I can't distinguish if it's because he is a boy or if it's because we don't have that close breastfeeding bond. There honestly isn't a bond period...a connection maybe?

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#24 of 65 Old 08-23-2010, 09:46 PM
 
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Jess - We went through a similar issue, you may recall my constant frustrated posts. We also did the NCSS. I'd say it took about a week to see improvement and now (3 weeks in, I think?) it's an amazing turn around. He usually goes to sleep in 10 minutes and as of a few days ago is staying asleep on his own for quite a few sleep cycles. Hang in there! You may want to try moving his bedtime up to 6:30 or 7 as she suggests, and then push it back slowly to 8 if that's what you prefer. That made a HUGE difference for us. You can do this!

Ericka - I don't feel like T really knows who I am yet, either. Only once did I feel like I was able to comfort him by just being me (Rather than "the one with the boobs"). I dont have any other experience to compare against. I'd say that I only really started to feel bonded recently.

LNF - I find that if I run more slowly (in my comfort zone) I have more fun. My DH like to go faster to get it over with, and if I let him push me I hate running and start to dread it. I slowly build up speed and stamina, and enjoy myself a lot more.

AFM - THe one-sided boob thing is getting bad. T occasionally refuses to eat from that side, though that could be due to the teething...? I'm trying to pump a lot more from the "bad" side. But I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I fed him off of the "good" side this morning (after he ate a little from the other side) and was still able to pump almost 2x as much in half the time from the good side as from the bad side.

Our anniversary is coming up soon, and we both forgot. I saw "Anniversary" on my calendar on my computer and was like.. whose anniversary is that? I'm going to delete this, since I don't know.... oh. It's mine. Majorly embarrassed.

Momma to born April 18, 2010!
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#25 of 65 Old 08-24-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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It's nice to see a result of the growth spurts. Anna gained about 7 ounces this past week. She has been an absolute delight today. Happy, playing, talkative.
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Our rainbow baby, Anna Beatrice was born April 11/2010 after 4 m/c. She joins 4 brothers and sisters.
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#26 of 65 Old 08-24-2010, 12:29 AM
 
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Jess my first DD wanted to suck on my fingers. It was so frustrating! At about 4 months we finally got her to take a pacifier instead. She was a big comfort sucker and very high needs. I just went with the flow as much a possible. She would nurse non stop all night then spit up gallons. I figured out if I put a big king or body pillow behind my back then I could sort of lean and relax while she nursed at night.

Rhi, that poop explosion sounds like a disaster!!

Ericka, I have no advice. Do you think the nicu stay had an impact on your bonding?

Momma to Sweet Rosie 7/06, Lost Baby J 1/09 at 12 weeks pregnant, Spitfire Ada born 4/21/10, and Baby Boy due July/August 2013!
Aspiring urban homesteader, photographer, homeschooling momma! Blog link in my profile. 

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#27 of 65 Old 08-24-2010, 12:32 AM
 
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My phone decided my other post was long enough so I have to make a second...

AFM, not much going on. I'm having a hard time figuring out how to keep my house clean, pay attention to dd1, and take care of the baby. It's hard! It seems like my chores are so much never ending work and it makes me distressed.

Momma to Sweet Rosie 7/06, Lost Baby J 1/09 at 12 weeks pregnant, Spitfire Ada born 4/21/10, and Baby Boy due July/August 2013!
Aspiring urban homesteader, photographer, homeschooling momma! Blog link in my profile. 

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#28 of 65 Old 08-24-2010, 01:03 AM
 
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c was in the NICU too :/ I just can't place my finger on it...maybe somewhere deep I have a bit of resentment for him not wanting to BF..life would be so much easier

no circ/vax-babywearer-cosleeping-pumping/breastfeeding-homeschooling single mama to Junebug , Sugarbug and expecting
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#29 of 65 Old 08-24-2010, 01:12 AM
 
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Erica: I had a hard time bonding period...it was like I fought myself because of the intense love I felt. I was so scared that if I loved them with all of my being something awful would happen. I let go right before ds started having his seizures and I remember how much I wanted to back away when he had that first one. I'm not saying this is happening to you but that was a major issue for me.

R slept better last night but still not as good as she had been sleeping. She's also on this thing where she only wants to nurse with my lying down. All. the. time.

I had to teach my class with her on me today. It was a total fail. She woke up right in the middle of my syllabus spiel. She proceed to squeal with delight alternated with whining. She started intensely at this one female student, until the student looked at her and smiled. Then R would flash this huge open mouthed grin. She did this through the whole class. Luckily I showed a movie so I was able to nurse her and get her somewhat settled. What a horrible fail. I can only hope that I can pick up the pieces next class.

And I'm a nervous wreck about her staying with dh. She's only taken one bottle in the last two weeks and that was from ds. Dh is now stressed as he's working at a HORRIBLE school and I know he's going to beat after his day. It's making me so anxious that I just lay awake worrying.

Mama to Umberto 12, Camille, 9, Piper 7, Rowena 2, and Jude Therese Prenatal DS diagnosis due December 23.

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#30 of 65 Old 08-24-2010, 02:32 AM
 
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Ericka - On one hand, i'm certain the trauma you two have been through in the last 6 months is a hurdle for bonding - every time things have finally calmed down so you could get to know each other in peace something has come up - but give it time, things will get boring and you will have time to really click with him.
On the other hand, I had a hard time with bonding with DD2, simply because she was the second. With the first, it was POW, love at first sight. With DD2, it was more like "Oh, you're here, come in, but remember to wipe your feet." I was glad she was here, but it just wasn't a new and amazing experience. Now, parenting her HAS been new and amazing, because she is such a different and cool kid, but as an infant, she had already been trumped. We're definitely bonded now, and in the long term, i think I will 'get' her more than I will her sister. They change, we change, our bonds will change, but we can't overthink it. he's your baby, and your his mama, no matter what. that's enough.

GTG: I had a similar experience with Ella, when I was teaching freshman prep classes. I was only 22, so i was trying to act grown up and distance myself from these kids, but one day i HAD to bring her to class, and she totally blew my cover. She also spent office hours screaming one day, and these poor kids are trying to get advice on how to navigate financial aid, etc, and I'm struggling with a nursing cover.. ugh. I cringe even thinking about it now. Next class will be better. And H will come through, even if he has to ask the beasties for help. maybe that time with her after a hard day at his new school will be healing.

AFM: Meh. I've been in a horrible-no-good-bad-mama mood since I had to sell my dream bike the other day because I couldn't manage to haul three kids on it. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but sometimes I can't help but long for child-free days, when I could be MORE than just a mom. And I could have a shiny bike. Hurmph. I keep reminding myself that there is time, and I don't want to wish away the sweetest part of my life, but... yeah. Somedays i just want to be ME, not mom. Today was one of those days. Tomorrow will be better.

In related news, I think we are fixing our van, despite it costing $3063763563976. Tom's reasoning? So we'll have room for the next baby.

I think he is trying to kill me.

Ivory, partner to Tom, mama to Ella (12/9/05), Alice (12/8/07), and our newest addition, Rebecca (4/1/10).
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