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#1 of 25 Old 02-15-2010, 09:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is anyone babymooning after baby get here? How long?

I think we are going to try for a full month. DH even said he will do all the grocery shopping for the house and take the kids to classes and such. I love the idea. We always try but some how I still ended up at church and such.

I really want to focus on keeping baby healthy and nursing so I do not end up with another little one failing to thrive because of my poor supply. Topless time in bed nursing baby when ever baby want to sound like a good idea to me. Fewer life distractions and stresses to get in the way of bonding with the little.

What are your plans?

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#2 of 25 Old 02-15-2010, 10:58 PM
 
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Hmmmmm...this is a good reminder to talk about my expectation about this. A lot will depend on when DH has to go back to work. Luckily he works from home three days a week so I know he will be super helpful then.

Ideally I would like a couple of weeks but given how young DD is I just don't know if that will happen.

ETA: I was really exhilarated after having DD. I had so much adrenaline and joy running through me that I could not sit still. I wonder if that will happen this time, too.

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#3 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 12:41 AM
 
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I too usually end up being so excited and happy and full of joy that I want to share my baby (a little-with "clean" family and such) I love wrapping up in a moby and going for walks and what not with my newborn. All low key of course. I certainly am not going on a huge shopping trip or anything of the like for at least a month. When I do get out I want it to be with no expectations, no required bring home items etc so I can just go by how we feel and how it's going. Last time I remember we went to a local farmers market, (at 3.5 weeks old) just for two hours, half the time we sat on a bench drinking iced smoothie drinks and cuddling baby in his moby (which got a little hot-getting a gauze one this time!) we left with some fresh fruit and it was wonderful. I was still exhausted by the end of it and glad we went with no time limit or expectations of any kind.

Kinda planning on going the same route this time. I just don't think I can commit to staying in bed for a month.

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#4 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 01:34 AM
 
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Yea, it's not going to happen here either
Realistically speaking I'll be back in my usual routine as soon as possible. Now that both of my kids are at school (two different schools at that), I don't drive, husband works and I dont know how much time he'll be able to get off, the baby will go in the sling and we'll be out and about.
I do have friends in the neighbourhood who will help me with pick ups and drop off for sure. But knowing myself, I'll want to get out of the apt ASAP. Especially in the lovely May weather...

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#5 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 02:13 AM
 
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Not planning on staying in bed for a month - I actually don't think that's very healthy for most people - but definitely planning to take it easy. I'm hoping to have a month's worth of meals in the freezer so neither DH nor I will have to cook. DH will do the shopping for fresh foods and I may go with him if I'm feeling good.

He will get two weeks off so we can spend lots of time being a little family together. My brother lives near us and my parents will come and stay with him after she's born but they can come to us for visits if I don't feel like going out.

Church etc will all start again after the first 4-6 weeks (or longer if we need it).

My main focus is certainly going to be eating nutritious food, making milk and being together.

Looking forward to reading other people's plans.

Oh, on a similar note, DH was reading an article in the travel section of the weekend paper which was all about resorts which offer babymoons. They suggested going a few days after the birth. I couldn't think of anything worse but apparently there is a market for it (or they're trying to create one at least).

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#6 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 12:08 PM
 
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No big babymoon plans here. Truthfully, I don't think I could make myself stay in bed for more than a day or two. I felt so great after DD's birth (she was a June baby) and the weather was so beautiful, so we spent a lot of time lounging on the back porch. I was enjoying short trips to the grocery store (with baby in-tow) about a week after she was born. I think going out helped me avoid getting depressed.

For me, there were several key points that helped me not get over-tired, even though I wasn't doing the whole babymoon-thing. 1. Keep all outings/visits short (no more than 1 hr). 2. Don't plan more than one activity per day. 3. Rest when the baby is sleeping. 4. Let DH or someone else take care of most of the household chores.

I plan to allow DD to continue attending daycare through the end of May, so that will give me a few weeks to adjust and rest after becoming a Mom of two. After that, I will probably pull her out for the summer to save money.

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#7 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 01:46 PM
 
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I'll probably stay in bed for a week or two (or longer if needed) to really get the hang of breastfeeding since I'm new to this whole adventure... but I DH and I are still planning on filling our patio with a container garden and I'd like to be able to pop the little one in the Moby and go outside to oversee the project as it comes together

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#8 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 01:56 PM
 
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So totally not realistic for me.....
Even with the c-sections I am back to fairly normal duties by 2 weeks... Thats all DH has off any way, so I have to make it work.

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#9 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 02:22 PM
 
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no babymoon here either. As a single mama already I dont have time (nor can I afford) to take a mini vacay. Especially when I have no one to help. My leave from work all depends on money. I dont get paid for my leave so Ive been saving here and there and we will see how much that and some disability will last me. I dont like to take new babies out for the first few weeks so we will be at home for most of the time. It would be good for me to adjust to life with two kids, get used to having a daughter, and getting breastfeeding off to a good start. So that is my plan.


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#10 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 02:55 PM
 
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I think we're just going to do a week of babymooning. We've told our close friends and family that we aren't going to have anyone over for the first week, just so we can sleep, BF, relax and recover - as well as take in being parents for the first time. After that, I think I would nuts lounging around. DH is taking 3 weeks off after the baby is born, which will be lovely. I did tell him that even though we are officially out of babymooning after the first week, I don't want to be entertaining a lot of people after that (since I might be trying to resolve BFing issues, and getting to know the baby) but having one person /a couple over at a time might be okay, depending on what kind of evening we had. I am pretty introverted so having more people over would overwhelm me, especially if I've had a rough night. He is very understanding of my wishes and is fine with that.
I can't wait - it seems like it's getting so much closer! 30weeks today!!! CRAZY!

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#11 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 03:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by katelove View Post

Oh, on a similar note, DH was reading an article in the travel section of the weekend paper which was all about resorts which offer babymoons. They suggested going a few days after the birth. I couldn't think of anything worse but apparently there is a market for it (or they're trying to create one at least).
whoah, that is an interesting niche market to get into. Like you, though, I can't imagine anything more i would not want to do than travel with a newborn and then be NOT at home where I am comfy.


I *might* go to my mom's though b/c she has central air

Walking in the light with DH, DD (11/08), DS (4/10) , four dogs, and one insouciant cat.
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#12 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 04:29 PM
 
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I'm planning for a week again.
I have a habit of over-doing it, i.e. driving an hour to the in-laws and doing groceries just 60hrs after my C/S with DS1...
With DS2 I told everyone I did not want any visitors for at least a week. That was GREAT! I was able to get into my own groove with two kids (DH had to go back to work) without any distractions, I could rest as much as I needed and when I was up for getting out of the house I walked over to the neighbors to show the baby off. Okay so loading up a toddler and newborn in the wagon and lugging them up a hill wasn't my brightest idea...but it was nice

This time I plan for a week again. Then after that, I'll probably have to put the garden in, help with firewood, continue doing chores at the barn etc. I don't think I could sit still for a month if I tried!

DH and I - totally winging life with our four children, DS1 (6.5yrs), DS2 (5yrs), DD (3yrs) and DS3 (1)!

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#13 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 06:21 PM
 
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Yes, we will be doing the 6 weeks- 40 days- of family bonding at home with our little girl same as we did with our son
He is starting his Waldorf Toddler/parent classes this next week and they are 2x weekly, will still be going on when the baby gets here.
My husband will be taking a month off from work and he will be taking him out for jaunts and to his class while baby Pixie and I relax and get to know each other, get our routines down, bond. I am looking forward to it.

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#14 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 09:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DH is only going to get 2 weeks off and we have 3 other children so being in bed a whole month is not going to work out, plus it would not help getting my strength back but this being my 6th birth there is no way I will be up and going to church and having people over and going out like I have in the past. I will rest up this time, I don't want to bleed for 6 weeks and the midwife has said the more time after the baby that I am off my feet the better that will go.

Jelinifer -- I think taking all the time you need and that you can to make sure nursing is going well is a great idea and even though I have experience I feel like I can use every advantage I can get as I always have nursing issues.

Babymooning a month, taking time off from active homeschooling.

I love the idea of small walks with baby in a Moby outside specially with the wonderful weather! It will be hot here in the desert. I will put my online shop on hold for a month and only work on it with baby in sling when I really feel the drive to do so.

Baby will only be little once and it seems like such a special time to me, time to stay home and find a new normal and see how little one fits in with our rhythms and what ones change again.

OrchideZ -- Why 40 days? I could ask myself this, why not just a week or 2 or 3, and what I come up with is that in my experience for us that amount of time was not just not enough or that we did not stick to the plans in times past.

What I noticed from past DDCs, the little ones that get sick so early tend to be the littles that got sick more often, croup and such. I really want to do what I can to make sure baby doesn't get sick and I am not so busy as to not build up an great supply and nursing habit. I thought I had that with Libby but she was then failing to thrive at 4 months.... I guess it is hard to explain the lengths I will go to not have breastfeeding issues for once.


I think there are some things to consider in a long baby moon, specially with DH going back to work after two weeks, such as how hormones can make some Mothers feel very alone with baby at that point and how company and getting out can help with that!

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#15 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 09:46 PM
 
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Well, I hadn't really set a plan. We're home bodies and do't have many guests. I don't see that changing a lot but of course people will want to drop by to see the baby. My Momw ill be here a lot and she'll be guarding the door. If I'm tired or not up for company there's no way she'll be letting them in

I suspect a few weeks will be spent lounging but by the first of June I'll be wanting to get my garden in. DH or DS will do the heavy stuff but I'll do the planting and picking my transplants and stuff. The barn chores aren't going away just because I have somethign else to do. DS and DH help a lot of course but the barn is my thing.

So I guess while I'll be doing some stuff I'll still be doing a lot less than usual. I'll be off work for a year and my mom will be arnd for a few weeks making meals and keeping myhouse in order

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#16 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 10:25 PM
 
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This one is our third. Some how I just don't expect the same sort of interest from others that I experienced with my first as it was less even with my second. Though this is our first girl so maybe I'll be wrong.

I'll spend 4ish days in the hospital as it'll be a c-section. DH will get 3 total weeks off. He works from home at least 3 days a week. I'm hoping he'll be able to maybe work from home as well for two full weeks straight. That would give me 5 full weeks of help. I don't recover well from c-sections. I need every bit of help I can get.

I won't be going far during that time. In fact I try not to drive at all for 8 weeks. I think I will stay away from church for a good month if not more. Baby and I will move from the bed to the chair to the couch and back. We'll probably try and enjoy the weather and sit outside. My mom will probably come get me for short trips of maybe 45 minutes to an hour to near by stores if I'm up for it. Once I'm up for it we'll go for walks together too.

I'm really looking forward to it.
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#17 of 25 Old 02-16-2010, 11:01 PM
 
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Well, it took me about 2 weeks to recover from my C/S with B so I would assume the same this time. I would like to spend a day or 2 in bed with her, but I also get that at the hospi, 4 days of snuggling in bed there. Might not sound ideal, but it serves it's purpose. Then at home DH will do all the work, he's pretty great about that.

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#18 of 25 Old 02-17-2010, 12:37 AM
 
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I try to do a six week babymoon of some sort....lightened activity, usually staying away from big crowds...that sort of thing. I stay in bed as long as my midwife reccomends. I have had one rough birth and then one with a bad tear so both required some serious r and r. Hoping for a little quicker physical recovery this time around but still a little peaceful space for lingering with the babe.

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#19 of 25 Old 02-17-2010, 02:23 AM
 
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I'd like to stay down for at least a week, but DH is a union carpenter and we don't get paid if he doesn't work, so his time off will be minimal. That being said, I plan on staying home and ignorning household chores for a few weeks. I'm hoping to stock our chest freezer pretty well with easy lunches and dinners. My older DD's might get a little more TV time then usual, but that's ok with me when this new one comes. They are usually quite good about going off and playing together, so I'm hoping that will still be the case! Fortunately our living space is one story and small, so I can go from bed to couch to kitchen as needed without having to use up too much energy. I'm basically dropping all expectations and schedules for a while, but since we homeschool, it's pretty easy to put things on hold.

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#20 of 25 Old 02-17-2010, 02:50 AM
 
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I was staying home for about 40 days after DD was born as it is traditional in my husband's culture. I was in bed in my PJs for the first 2 weeks I think. Even though it is not a tradition in my culture, I was happy to have an "excuse" not to go anywhere and not to see anyone. I was in my cocoon and it was wonderful. I am happy we didn't have anyone there to help us - just me and hubby.

This time around we gonna have DD as well, so I dont' know how it will work out. I would love to be in my PJs for so long again, but with 2yo DD running around I am not sure it will be possible.

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#21 of 25 Old 02-17-2010, 06:01 AM
 
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OrchideZ -- Why 40 days? I could ask myself this, why not just a week or 2 or 3, and what I come up with is that in my experience for us that amount of time was not just not enough or that we did not stick to the plans in times past.

What I noticed from past DDCs, the little ones that get sick so early tend to be the littles that got sick more often, croup and such. I really want to do what I can to make sure baby doesn't get sick and I am not so busy as to not build up an great supply and nursing habit. I thought I had that with Libby but she was then failing to thrive at 4 months.... I guess it is hard to explain the lengths I will go to not have breastfeeding issues for once.


I think there are some things to consider in a long baby moon, specially with DH going back to work after two weeks, such as how hormones can make some Mothers feel very alone with baby at that point and how company and getting out can help with that!
40 days is a long held ayurvedic recommendation for time of bonding at home with your baby.
I have studied yoga here with Gurmukh and she is a big proponent of the 40 days for mama and baby.
It worked great for my son & I. He is a very happy confident little guy and we had a lot of time to work on our nursing relationship and for him to adjust to being out of the womb.
Here is an article that explains it all a bit better.

I am planning to do it as much as we can but realize it will be different with our spunky toddler here now.
Its sort of like recreating the womb and as Dr. Harvey Karp has put it in The Happiest Baby on the Block, when a baby is newly born, he refers to the first few months as being the "4th trimester" which makes sense to me. Great dvd/book btw for any new mamas!
It was such a good thing though with our son...keeping him in lower lighting, keeping sounds soft, swaddling him, wearing him in a wrap as much as possible and keeping new faces to a minimum for the first 40 days. I really enjoyed it and am hoping it goes well with baby girl.

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#22 of 25 Old 02-17-2010, 06:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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40 days is a long held ayurvedic recommendation for time of bonding at home with your baby.
I have studied yoga here with Gurmukh and she is a big proponent of the 40 days for mama and baby.
It worked great for my son & I. He is a very happy confident little guy and we had a lot of time to work on our nursing relationship and for him to adjust to being out of the womb.
Here is an article that explains it all a bit better.

I am planning to do it as much as we can but realize it will be different with our spunky toddler here now.
Its sort of like recreating the womb and as Dr. Harvey Karp has put it in The Happiest Baby on the Block, when a baby is newly born, he refers to the first few months as being the "4th trimester" which makes sense to me. Great dvd/book btw for any new mamas!
It was such a good thing though with our son...keeping him in lower lighting, keeping sounds soft, swaddling him, wearing him in a wrap as much as possible and keeping new faces to a minimum for the first 40 days. I really enjoyed it and am hoping it goes well with baby girl.
Thank you very much I can really connect with that and now have more information to support a need and feeling I already had. Bright Blessings and Gratitude!

Army wife to wonder hubby. Mama to 4 and Surrogate mother x2.: Zoey Born 5/7/2010
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#23 of 25 Old 02-18-2010, 05:40 AM
 
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I feel like even if I don't make it 40 days, its just the intentions and how you welcome the new babe into the world, right? We all will have good bonding this time round no matter how many days we stay home as long as we make choices with our baby's best welfare in mind.
But having said that, I will try my best to make this experience of newborn bonding as pure and special as I can w/o leaving our toddler out or him missing out on his active lifestyle.

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#24 of 25 Old 02-18-2010, 11:31 AM
 
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Yes I want to do this. I feel like last time I was so focused on the birth. The birth went well and I know that wasn't just luck. We found the right providers and had a beautiful quick homebirth.
However this time I want 48 hours of no visitors. And then for my baby moon only quick visits 10-15 minutes. I always knew to do that even as a single childless person!
Last time I had family walking in my bedroom after I just got sutured--No knocking. I was crawling too b/c I had just fainted. I will never forget my MIL barging in like that.
Also she complained forever about the midwives asking her to make us some eggs. (We had been up all night) And MIL insisted on cleaning my house and then complained to other family about it.She also would just walk in my door, no calling first, sometimes even using her key to my house.
And my mom who said she would come 1 to 2 weeks didn't last 3 days. She barked that my fridge needed to be cleaned out and that it tiring for her to walk up to my bedroom.These are women in their early 50's!
So I realized that postpartum "help" was more of a stress. I'm going to be much more protective of my space this time. And I agree no church for 1 month either.
Anyone read Robin Lim "After the baby's birth" I"m enjoying it very much
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#25 of 25 Old 02-18-2010, 10:31 PM
 
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Anyone read Robin Lim "After the baby's birth" I"m enjoying it very much
I have, but I probably should have another look at it. I enjoyed it too.

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