RANT: Everyone and their dog has advice for me - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 14 Old 10-08-2009, 04:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is my first pregnancy and I must say I have bee completely sideswiped by how many people are forcing their opinions on me. I can't talk to anyone who knows I'm pregnant without them telling me what to eat, what not to eat, what to wear, what to lift, how to do anything. It is driving me nuts!! When did my body become public property!?!

Anyone else have this problem?
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#2 of 14 Old 10-08-2009, 04:53 AM
 
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Lol I know what you mean. Wait til you get your bump and everyone thinks it's ok to rub it...then when you've babe in arms everyonethinks it's ok to man-handle them as well!!
I don't know why we become public property when pregnant. I always like to say something sarcastic to those with 'advice' like 'that's a well and good but how will I kick my crack habit?' or 'that's interesting as I haven't given any of this an ounce of thought!'.
Keep on smiling, L x
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#3 of 14 Old 10-08-2009, 09:07 AM
 
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I don't think it changes at all. No matter what your birth choice is, someone has an opinion. Or what you name the baby, where it sleeps, how you feed it... And all the comments about how big or small you are, how you don't look pregnant (um, so I'm always this fat? Thanks), or you're as big as a house... I swear pregnant women are public property.

Mama to Nov '08 and June '10
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#4 of 14 Old 10-08-2009, 09:28 AM
 
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and this is why i don't plan on telling anyone until i'm showing, or 12 weeks....whichever comes first.

the worst is when women tell you their horror labor stories.
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#5 of 14 Old 10-08-2009, 10:14 AM
 
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I'm a Traditional Foodie. I drink raw milk, and that alone freaks people out. But I just tell them flat out that my understanding of what is healthy has changed completely from the mainstream philosophy, and I fully intend to do/eat what I believe is right even and ESPECIALLY while pregnant. I've actually managed to convert a couple of real friends, and they are grateful.

ETA: there are a lot of crazies out there. One lady actually told me she believes all babies should be delivered by C-section b/c it's so much easier on them. Nevermind the health of the mother! I could NOT believe it!

Living happily and loving it!
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#6 of 14 Old 10-08-2009, 10:38 AM
 
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Yep, it's one of the more annoying parts of pregnancy. And, it definately gets worse as the belly grows.

You gotta love the comments when you are about 8 months pregnant: "you are huge!", "You haven't had that baby yet? You better get busy!", "Your dr is wrong - you must be having twins with as big as you are", and my personal favorite "Your boobs are HUGE! How much bigger are they going to get?!".

I got all of these comments and many more from men where I worked while pregnant with DD. It was constant and maddening.


IDK why it is, but you really do become this public spectical for everyone to comment on while your pregnant and when you have a baby. Very frustrating.

SAHM to a crazy little boy (4.5) and a silly little girl (3) and my VBA2C babe
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#7 of 14 Old 10-08-2009, 11:33 AM
 
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I think most people who give advice mean well... they are excited for you! But you can sure tell the know it alls. It's a bit hard to swallow advice from somebody who's never had a child especially.


I think it's sad that people feel free to comment on women's bodies (pregnant or no) but we seem to live in a culture that says that's okay somehow.

peachsara- if I got those boob comments from men in the work place the management would have a problem on their hands. You don't have to put up with that.
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#8 of 14 Old 10-08-2009, 12:50 PM
 
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And that is why I won't make the same mistake I did with my last pregnancy. This time, I won't tell anyone I'm planning a homebirth, that I am drinking raw milk and eating raw cheese,etc...I don't need anyones advice on how to take care of myself and my baby.
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#9 of 14 Old 10-09-2009, 03:15 PM
 
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Yes, there is a lot of unwanted advice, especially with a first pregnancy. But then later when you have a big belly, there are also the wonderful knowing smiles from older ladies and the special things strangers do to help like stopping in the parking lot to help you load groceries in your car or holding a door open forever while you take your sweet time to get there. It's wonderful!
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#10 of 14 Old 10-09-2009, 07:32 PM
 
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People just want to help. I'm drawing the line at horror stories and belly-rubs, though.


***4* (3/09)**(10/09) 8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36***40
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#11 of 14 Old 10-10-2009, 11:22 PM
 
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Oh sweetheart! Wait till the baby comes...then perfect strangers will feel they have the right to give you parenting pointers when your LO has a meltdown in the grocery line over a candybar. Or ask you what's in your "pouch" (sling) and peek in while the baby is sleeping/nursing! It's only just begun!

I do agree, IT'S POSITIVELY CRAZY MAKING!
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#12 of 14 Old 10-10-2009, 11:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by henny penny View Post
Yes, there is a lot of unwanted advice, especially with a first pregnancy. But then later when you have a big belly, there are also the wonderful knowing smiles from older ladies and the special things strangers do to help like stopping in the parking lot to help you load groceries in your car or holding a door open forever while you take your sweet time to get there. It's wonderful!
Yep. That's all pretty great!
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#13 of 14 Old 10-11-2009, 01:21 PM
 
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I like the part where when you give them a funny look because they're offering unsolicited advice... they say: so does being pregnant make you moody too?

Kelli, Upstate NY mama, dh FarmBoy, raising 6:, his, mine, and ours.

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#14 of 14 Old 10-11-2009, 02:50 PM
 
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Ha ha ha, yes, pregnancy makes me moody. Once at work I was watching a bunch of hyper, poorly behaved kids at the park and it was hot, sticky and buggy. As soon as we got back I needed to drink water NOW. One of the moms was like "wow she needs to have that baby SOON!".

Mama to Nov '08 and June '10
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