Ugh Frustration. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 11-16-2009, 06:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just outed myself on Facebook and I've already had to delete 2 posts. One "friend" said something along the lines of - "AGAIN! Don't you know what causes that?" and that was it.....no congrats or anything.
And the other person said "Wow. You guys must be rich. I hope it's a girl for your sake"

Ummmm. I'm a little

What is wrong with people?

Crunchy Mama to 3 boys bikenew.gif'06  and superhero.gif '08  h20homebirth.gif  and  moon.gif '10  uc.jpg

 

And a brand new baby  babygirl.gif born 4/12 uc.jpg

 

joy.gifOur family is now complete  chicken3.gif

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#2 of 14 Old 11-16-2009, 06:55 PM
 
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It is just beyond me what some people say! I've had one very crappy reaction and I'm afraid to tell my other friends. It's age-related comments I'm not looking forward to. Why in the world would anybody think news of a baby is anything but wonderful? It's a BABY!

eta: maybe they're jealous!
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#3 of 14 Old 11-16-2009, 07:13 PM
 
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Ugh I feel your pain and frustration.

I became pregnant VERY soon after my first pregnancy (5 months after I delivered my twins). EVERYONE rolled their eyes and wondered why I didn't wait until it was "safe" and why on earth I would want two children so close in age. They still call my children "irish twins".

People need to mind their own business and keep comments to themselves.
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#4 of 14 Old 11-16-2009, 07:19 PM
 
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That is so rude!!!! I honestly would be fuming right now. s to you Mama. Your baby is a blessing!!!

Mama to my beautiful Ana Carolina (2/07), Isabel Cristina (6/10), and #3 on the way in August 2013!

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#5 of 14 Old 11-16-2009, 07:25 PM
 
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I'm sorry! People don't know when to keep there mouths shut.

DH outed me on FB yesterday, so I went ahead and came out and updated my status announcing it. "Sonja is barefoot and... (This status announcement brought to you by #4 and the month of June. And yes, we know what causes it.)" I got tons of positive comments and congratulations (OK, one semi-joking comment about being a population explosion), I was very happy and surprised.

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#6 of 14 Old 11-16-2009, 08:57 PM
 
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I HATE HATE HATE it when people don't understand that there are very few acceptable responses to a pregnancy announcement that don't include "congratulations!"

I didn't want to tell my family because of their reactions. My mom said "oh, Tiffany, you're not..." My dad said "No! I thought you were done." My brother and SIL actually had appropriate responses including the word congratulations (although prefaced by kind of disapproving looks), perhaps in part to my oldest dd telling them. I had her tell my grandpa and aunt yesterday. Theirs were very neutral responses of "oh? wow." Our friends and dh's family are all really excited for us. My family just sucks.

Tiffany, loving wife to Matt, Mommy to Samantha (10/99), Tevin (8/04), Cadence (6/08) and babymooning with our sweet little Lauren 6/24/10
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#7 of 14 Old 11-16-2009, 11:00 PM
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I hate to say it, but sometimes people are just plain stupid. I apologize on behalf of humanity to everyone who has received stupid responses to their wonderful news!

I've had mostly wonderful, kind responses. A few folks have responded to the news of our twins by saying something like "oh, at least you know you'll be done after this!" What?!? I know no such thing! Where did this unwritten law come from that says two's the limit?

Enjoying nine years of wedded bliss and (finally!) expecting our very first little one... nope, make that two! June 2010
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#8 of 14 Old 11-16-2009, 11:38 PM
 
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This is exactly why I still haven't said anything about the baby on facebook. Honestly, I don't plan on telling most of my friends...only those with kids and who I am really close to. People suck...
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#9 of 14 Old 11-17-2009, 12:04 AM
 
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See this is exactly why I don't want to tell people. At all. When we told DPs sisters about us getting engaged a while back, the two were told we just incredibly rude to us. One said "you just broke up last week and now you're getting married? what do you think you're doing?" Okay, first off, we had an argument and I was angry so I left. I went out for a few hours, walking around, because I needed to be alone and cool off. He got upset and called her because they are disturbing close, or at least they were until that happened. By the next day, we were fine. That's how I react to arguments. I leave the situation. Then she told their father and he also yelled at us. But he's an ass and we haven't talked to him in nearly two years. When he told his other sister and her husband, they just ignored us. Nice, huh? But that sister is a complete screw up and really just needs to be exterminated. Seriously.

We did tell DPs mother and grandmother when they visited for DDs birthday party. They were excited. Well, I guess his grandmother was excited. His mother definitely was as she immediately called his stepdad.

When we were pregnant last time, my mother was pretty rude about it. She has horrible mood swings thanks to her drug abuse and she took it all out on us, saying we were stupid for getting pregnant and telling DP he had no way to support me. She was pretty evil. And that's why DP doesn't want to tell her at all. Neither do I.

I'm not much worried about my friends being rude, since the few I have told were all excited. What I'm worried about is telling family. I'm worried they will yell at us and be "disappointed". Ugh.

Me with my baby girl Maeleigh (Oct 08) and My (step) baby girl Whren (May 05) in Heaven with her mommy .. And introducing our little JuneBug (June 10) We heard the !!!
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#10 of 14 Old 11-17-2009, 01:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Sonja View Post
I'm sorry! People don't know when to keep there mouths shut.

DH outed me on FB yesterday, so I went ahead and came out and updated my status announcing it. "Sonja is barefoot and...
That is too funny! This is what I posted today


Thank you everyone for the virtual hugs and support. A baby is a blessing to me, and I can't understand why some people have to make you feel bad for having children. I truly can't imagine announcing my fourth pregnancy if we decide to have another.....Yikes! On a positive note- all my close friends and doula friends were extremely supportive and sweet. Not a single mention of needing a girl, or anything nasty.

About family finding out- all of my Dh's side excluding 1 brother were all a bit shocked that we were having another. My SIL's(except 1..the one married to the nice brother) were all kinda snooty about it. It may be the fact that I'm the youngest SIL and the only one that has children.
My family was better- my aunt is awesome and is always happy when we announce.

I'm so sorry that others have had these bad comments. A big right back at ya!

Crunchy Mama to 3 boys bikenew.gif'06  and superhero.gif '08  h20homebirth.gif  and  moon.gif '10  uc.jpg

 

And a brand new baby  babygirl.gif born 4/12 uc.jpg

 

joy.gifOur family is now complete  chicken3.gif

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#11 of 14 Old 11-17-2009, 02:19 AM
 
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Some people! My MIL said to dh man you better stop grandkids are getting expensive! Well nobody said anything about needing to buy them things. geeze!

mama to 4 kiddos, wife to one awesome man!  DH of 13yrs, DS 5/01,dd 5/05, DS 3/08, DS 6/10
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#12 of 14 Old 11-17-2009, 02:57 AM
 
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It was just last Friday when I finally got around to telling my dad and stepmom, their reaction to DD2 wasn't great so I wasn't in a hurry. It was over the phone and I told my stepmom, then I hear a muffled "holy sh*t" from my dad in the background and he went and poured himself some Tanqueray.

Chaotic uc.jpg homeschool.gif mama to 5 plus a bonus one on the way.  stork-suprise.gif

chicken3.gif

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#13 of 14 Old 11-17-2009, 04:31 AM
 
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DDC crashing - people are thoughtless and clueless. I just had my "surprise" baby when my last one was 14 months old and my first was 2 yrs and 10 months...I'm loving every minute of it and this "surprise" baby is exactly who we needed in our family - she is the most magnificent blessing imaginable.

Ignore the boors, mama. Enjoy your pregnancy and your growing family!

"So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton
 
 
 
   

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#14 of 14 Old 11-17-2009, 07:10 AM
 
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It's so hard when this is supposed to be a time of celebration and people are insensitive. My parents are thrilled but my in-laws can't even pretend to be interested and I must admit, that hurts. On the other hand, the rudeness at work is amazing. I am a teacher and there are 9 teachers on staff who are pregnant. Our principal has been telling people that there will be 9 jobs available (she is really sweet but has a big mouth) and so people are running around asking everyone in child-bearing age if they are pregnant. I can't believe how rude that is. It annoys me because I don't want to make it public at work until 12 weeks, at least, but it really hurts a good friend of mine who is battling infertility and is getting asked at least once a day if she is pregnant. I can't imagine just walking up and asking someone casually if she is pregnant.
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