I wondering the same thing. You probably have it a bit easier since your DD actually plays by herself. DD will play by herself but as soon as I do something other than sitting on the couch or reading, she's all over it. I almost never get to be on the computer unless she's right there (and usually all over it) or she's sleeping, like now. Tonight we were at the store and she was running around everywhere. I didn't mind it because no one else was in the store except for three employees who were all smiling at her and laughing with her. But it was just the constant picking this bottle off the shelve and then putting it in the middle of the aisle so I could pick it up and put it back. Eventually I just sat down in the middle of the aisle and waited for DP to get back. (Dork left his wallet at home
) Every time she does that in a store or demands my absolute undivided attention at home, I always wonder how it's going to work once the baby is born. DD doesn't really talk much, at least not what we can understand, so we can't have conversations at all. She can't tell me how she's feeling other than crying or whining, and I can't console her other than just holding her or hugging her. She's also gotten into this "I refuse to share at all" mode. When she plays with our neighbor or friend, she will just take a toy out of their hands and walk away with it, but if they try to do it to her, she freaks out. I realize it's normal behaviour for her age, but what's going to happen when I have two babies who both do that and neither really understands it? She also hates it when I or someone else she knows holds another child. If anyone she knows is holding another child, she will tug and pull on them until they pick her up. If I have another child in my lap, she will literally push the child out of the way and sit in my lap. Again, I realize it's normal, but I worry.
But, as others have said, this feeling, too, is normal. I think every mother with a small child goes through this feeling. Not to say that mothers with older children don't, but I think they go through a different feeling, especially since they can have conversations with their children and actually talk about everyone's feelings and explain the baby and how all that works. Eventually DD will be okay, but the first year or so will be hardest. This is why I'm planning to have my very good friend come over often. Our daughters have grown up together and I truly feel my daughter has done things early because of her daughter. (DD is ten months younger, but I feel she crawled and stood and walked early because she saw her friend doing it, and she even helped DD!) I'm hoping that having her around will help DD feel better, especially since she'll have a play mate. Depending on how everything works out, my friend and her daughter will be there for my labour and possibly the birth, if only for my daughter's comfort. Knowing I have someone like that for my daughter, is a real comfort. I suggest you find a play mate for your DD, assuming you don't have one already, who can help her in the beginning. It won't give you any down time, but it will give your daughter a playmate when you are just too tired.