Really good news! - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 12 Old 03-12-2010, 01:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
bananabee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,555
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
I'll explain more later when I have time, but had to share that I had a long talk with DH tonight, we were able to resolve a lot, and he is dropping the divorce immediately. We're not getting back together right away but will date and slowly work things out. He has apologized for a lot, and we were able to meet in the middle and see each other's points of view.

I'm exhausted. Time for bed. Oh, and he agreed we would name our little girl Sarina Karen.

Living happily and loving it!
bananabee is online now  
#2 of 12 Old 03-12-2010, 01:18 AM
 
azdaisy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 353
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Glad to hear you are happy! Hang in there and stick up for yourself and the new LO...you can do it!

Joanna, 6 years married to DH, Mom to 3-1/2 yo DS Owen and DD Taylor, born 6/14/10 by unmedicated
azdaisy is offline  
#3 of 12 Old 03-12-2010, 03:08 AM
 
Gingercat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Greece
Posts: 297
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So excited with your news! Been following your story for a long time now and I'm so happy that we'd most likely see a happy end after all
Gingercat is offline  
#4 of 12 Old 03-12-2010, 01:53 PM
 
NicolleLynne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 546
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm so happy, you're happy! Best wishes and whatever you do, don't let him talk you into moving into the big, diesel truck with him!

Working mama to a wonderful baby girl. Married to a really sweet guy. Just trying to do my best.
     
NicolleLynne is offline  
#5 of 12 Old 03-14-2010, 01:17 PM
 
Burnindinner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 971
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
woooow that is great! Waiting for the longer update...

Mama to Nov '08 and June '10
Burnindinner is offline  
#6 of 12 Old 03-14-2010, 05:03 PM
 
Tiffanoodle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Oshkosh, WI
Posts: 1,120
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is really really great news! I hope you two can work everything out.

Tiffany, loving wife to Matt, Mommy to Samantha (10/99), Tevin (8/04), Cadence (6/08) and babymooning with our sweet little Lauren 6/24/10
Tiffanoodle is offline  
#7 of 12 Old 03-16-2010, 01:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
bananabee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,555
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by azdaisy View Post
Glad to hear you are happy! Hang in there and stick up for yourself and the new LO...you can do it!
I'm happy that he seems to be respecting me a lot more now that I've shown I can live without him. He's in the Navy, so that's the way it needs to be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gingercat View Post
So excited with your news! Been following your story for a long time now and I'm so happy that we'd most likely see a happy end after all
Aw thank you. Yeah, now that he's come to his senses and I've grown more of a backbone, I think we're going to get along a lot better.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NicolleLynne View Post
I'm so happy, you're happy! Best wishes and whatever you do, don't let him talk you into moving into the big, diesel truck with him!
Hahaha no way would I agree to live in that thing. But he's cleaning up the camper shell he got for it, and it actually has a toilet, stove & bed, so I can imagine going camping in it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Burnindinner View Post
woooow that is great! Waiting for the longer update...
Longer update - he's finally realized that we don't communicate well (and that I'm not crazy) and we need some practical tools to improve the way we do things. We're working on that, and he's offered to see my therapist with me, as well as the marriage counselor, and also to sit down w/a friend of mine there to provide objective feedback if one of us is being unreasonable. He even apologized for some things in the past. I'm also finding I communicate much better while taking Lexapro. I'm noticing that I can back out of an argument and explain my intentions better. We got into a discussion about vaccines tonight where we found we are on opposite sides of the spectrum (I'd rather not at all or do selective and space them out, whereas he trusts the "experts" 100%), and we ended up back on friendly terms and I invited him to come to my next OB appt to ask her questions.

There's a ton more that we've talked about and a ton more we need to resolve, but all in all I'm glad about the way things are going, and am glad we're taking things slow. I'm also glad we've got the whole 3rd trimester now to work things out before Sarina is here.

Also, I ordered a baby crib, and it should arrive tmw. Super exciting.

Living happily and loving it!
bananabee is online now  
#8 of 12 Old 03-16-2010, 02:24 PM
 
peachsara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Ga
Posts: 301
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What?! That is great news! You seem to have kept such a great attitude throughout this journey. I'm so happy that things are moving in the right direction. Lot of prayers and positive thoughts coming your way, mama.

SAHM to a crazy little boy (4.5) and a silly little girl (3) and my VBA2C babe
peachsara is offline  
#9 of 12 Old 03-16-2010, 04:46 PM
 
slsurface's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: under a pile of shells
Posts: 2,624
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm so glad for you! Your story has really been heartbreaking, so I'm happy to hear that things are finally starting to look up! Best wishes, hon.
slsurface is offline  
#10 of 12 Old 03-16-2010, 06:40 PM
 
LisaSedai's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: De South
Posts: 1,023
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That's a beautiful name. I'm glad he is not fighting with you now.

But be careful He didn't treat you decently when you really needed him.He doesn't sound very trustworthy IMO. Well, maybe he's better IRL, and maybe I am just old and cynical and have trust issues. Hope all goes well for you.

Lisa DH Pat DS Liam DS Jamessigncirc1.gif

Missing DD Lily 6/17/10- 12/13/12

LisaSedai is offline  
#11 of 12 Old 03-16-2010, 09:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
bananabee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,555
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaSedai View Post
That's a beautiful name. I'm glad he is not fighting with you now.

But be careful He didn't treat you decently when you really needed him.He doesn't sound very trustworthy IMO. Well, maybe he's better IRL, and maybe I am just old and cynical and have trust issues. Hope all goes well for you.
You are absolutely right that he treated me horribly, but he has some very misguided ideas about the medical profession, and also has no understanding of what a woman goes through while pregnant, especially when bedridden for 3 mos. But there were a lot of things wrong with our marriage even before all that, and now many of them are getting sorted out. He's not moving back in for a while, and we're dating, and he plans to go with me to see my therapist who has a medical background, and I'm going to address some of those things there. I know she can explain those kinds of issues a lot better than I can. I am encouraged by the fact that DH now seems a lot more open to listening to other people, including me. And if he's just putting me on for some reason, then we'll see evidence of that, too. But I do think he's sincere and I'm generally a real good judge of character.

ETA: Last night he told me he had talked to his mom about vaccines, and she shared her experiences with him. Now he says he's on board w/my preference to be selective and delay vaccinating. Phew. Gotta love my MIL!!

Living happily and loving it!
bananabee is online now  
#12 of 12 Old 03-18-2010, 05:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
bananabee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,555
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
One more update: Turns out DH doesn't really like the name Sarina. I asked - he didn't bring in up, and has been calling her Sarina himself. Anyway, we talked a bit today and together came up with Karina Lynn (which honors both our moms), and I like that just as much. My mom really really likes it, too.

Living happily and loving it!
bananabee is online now  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off