~Spotlight on UberMama~ (April 8-11) - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-08-2010, 05:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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UberMama, this is YOUR thread! We'll ask questions for you to answer and you can add in anything else you'd like to share about yourself, your pregnancy, and your family. Anything at all!

Other June mamas, ask any question you like, it's all fair game. Of course, our spotlight mama can decline to answer anything that makes her uncomfortable

These first few are from our intro thread, so we can all remember who you are!
EDD:
Name:
Age:
Location:
Family (partner, other children, and/or furbabies):
Baby's Gender (hopes or guesses):
Names you like:
Birth Plans/Preferences:

And a few more so we can get to know you better!
What number pregnancy is this for you?
Is your baby very active, or laid back?
Have you "popped"?
Occupation:
Hobbies/Interests:
Share one weird/interesting fact about yourself:

Tiffany, loving wife to Matt, Mommy to Samantha (10/99), Tevin (8/04), Cadence (6/08) and babymooning with our sweet little Lauren 6/24/10
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Old 04-08-2010, 09:03 PM
 
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EDD: June 4th
Name: Ali
Age: 26
Location: Oregon
Family (partner, other children, and/or furbabies): DH of almost 8 years, twin boys that are 7 y/o, daughter that is 5.5 y/o, four cats, a bird and a hamster
Baby's Gender (hopes or guesses): Boy! Which we all knew it would be.
Names you like: N/A, since it's not up to me. My IPs (intended parents) have one picked out but I can't say what it is, it'll be a surprise for everyone at the birth.
Birth Plans/Preferences: I'd like a VBAC but it'll be another c/s due to my umbilical hernia and my ripped abdominal wall. I'm actually okay with it now.

And a few more so we can get to know you better!
What number pregnancy is this for you? 6th pregnancy (m/c, twins, singleton, m/c, 1st surro baby and now this one - 2nd surro baby!)
Is your baby very active, or laid back? He's active at night, but during the day, even when I am resting, he is quiet. I'd say his movements have been average most of the pregnancy.
Have you "popped"? I popped around 8-10 weeks. This is my most current belly shot.
Occupation: Stay at home mom.
Hobbies/Interests: Facebook , reading blogs, photography, spending time with hubby & the kids, reading non-fiction, etc.
Share one weird/interesting fact about yourself: Some find it weird that I am a surrogate, that I ENJOY being pregnant (despite c-sections, SPD, etc. LOL).
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Old 04-08-2010, 10:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've always been fascinated by surrogacy. What made you decide to become a surrogate? I have always really loved pregnancy for the most part. Even though I'm sick as a dog in the first tri and tired through the whole thing. My dh would never agree to me being a surrogate, since he thinks the only thing that makes the crabbiness, bloating, and cravings of pregnancy worth it is getting the baby at the end. lol Well, that and I think I'm getting kind of old to be considering it (I just turned 30, which I know in the grand scheme isn't that old, but I'd have to look another 3 years before i could do it and then I'm getting close to "advanced maternal age").

Your belly shot is really cute! I'm all lumpy in the belly to begin with, so my belly shots don't turn out looking nearly as model-like.

Tiffany, loving wife to Matt, Mommy to Samantha (10/99), Tevin (8/04), Cadence (6/08) and babymooning with our sweet little Lauren 6/24/10
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Old 04-09-2010, 02:41 AM
 
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Wow, another mama from Oregon! You make me miss it a little!!

Are your IP's very involved in your pg...ie do they come to the ob/mw appointments or see you often? Do you find it hard to hand off the little peanut after giving birth? I think that would be the hardest for me, PP.

Cindy, loving wife of 15 years
homeschooling mama to 4 wonderful girls, and 1 boy!  praying for #6, sch, due 4/14/2013!

 

 

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Old 04-09-2010, 07:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Tiffanoodle View Post
I've always been fascinated by surrogacy. What made you decide to become a surrogate? I have always really loved pregnancy for the most part. Even though I'm sick as a dog in the first tri and tired through the whole thing. My dh would never agree to me being a surrogate, since he thinks the only thing that makes the crabbiness, bloating, and cravings of pregnancy worth it is getting the baby at the end. lol Well, that and I think I'm getting kind of old to be considering it (I just turned 30, which I know in the grand scheme isn't that old, but I'd have to look another 3 years before i could do it and then I'm getting close to "advanced maternal age").

Your belly shot is really cute! I'm all lumpy in the belly to begin with, so my belly shots don't turn out looking nearly as model-like.
Actually, you'd be surprised. MANY surrogates are in their mid to late 30's, some in their early 40's. If you've had good pregnancies/deliveries, then there are doctors that will take you on as a surrogate.

The funny thing is, my DH is the opposite. He'll put up with the crabby stuff and such, as long as the baby does not come home with us. LOL! We're both DONE.

I think I've always had the desire to help others, or at least since I was a young child. I did a lot of charity work and such. I became aware of infertility (and miscarriages, stillbirths, etc.) when I was a teen. I married my husband when I was 18 and found a forum online about charting my cycles, as I didn't want to be on BC anymore. In joining there, I quickly saw just how many women dealt with numerous issues, sometimes for years on end, and sometimes never having the baby they so desired. It broke my heart and made me want to help them.

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Originally Posted by at_the_hip View Post
Wow, another mama from Oregon! You make me miss it a little!!

Are your IP's very involved in your pg...ie do they come to the ob/mw appointments or see you often? Do you find it hard to hand off the little peanut after giving birth? I think that would be the hardest for me, PP.
I've only lived in Oregon but cannot imagine living elsewhere. DH and I went to Montana two years ago, and wow, LOVED IT there but goodness, I love me some Portland.

My IPs are very involved, yes. They actually live on the east coast, but even so, they are as involved as possible! IM and I email daily, I do belly pics every 1-3 weeks (was every month, then two weeks, now it's one every Friday), she gets updated as soon as I am done with my MW appts, etc. They sent a stuffed animal with a music box, so I could play it for the baby. They are sending an iPod with recordings of them reading books, so I can play that nightly for their baby as well. They flew me down for their baby shower in Feb (it was in CA as IM's family lives there) which was amazing and very gracious of them to do.

I really don't find the end that difficult actually. When I had my first surro son, it was at the request of my IPs (and my desire to do so) to nurse him. It felt like I was nursing a friend's baby, which I was. And when they showed up (they missed the birth as I went at 38 weeks, which we didn't expect), I happily handed him over. He felt like a nephew to me. I of course hold a special place in my heart for him, but I never have looked at him as my own.

I also pump and donate my milk after, and I think my nursing and then EPing really helps my hormones. I suffered no baby blues after my surro son, where as I had PPD after my twins and baby blues for a short time after my daughter.

Thanks ladies.
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Old 04-09-2010, 11:15 AM
 
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You have brought tears to my eyes, it is such a beautiful thing that you are doing for these families.
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Old 04-09-2010, 11:35 AM
 
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Ok, I have a question, which keeps coming back for me (just because I am a practitioner so I am naturally inquisitive) but what did you mean by "ripped abdominal wall" Did you mean you have a diastiasis recti separation? Or something else? Please don't feel you have to answer if it is too personal for you.
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Old 04-09-2010, 12:40 PM
 
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Wow, that is really interesting! How do you get linked up with your IP's? Is there an agency?

Mama to Nov '08 and June '10
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Old 04-09-2010, 02:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paige, CPM View Post
Ok, I have a question, which keeps coming back for me (just because I am a practitioner so I am naturally inquisitive) but what did you mean by "ripped abdominal wall" Did you mean you have a diastiasis recti separation? Or something else? Please don't feel you have to answer if it is too personal for you.
While I do have that separation (have since I was pg with my twins), this is the wall right underneath of my skin. I am not sure how to explain it. But if you barely even touch my stomach, you can feel it go in, like there's nothing protecting my organs (well, the uterus at the moment). The doctor called this wall something else, but I forget the term. Anyway, if I strain (like to go #2 ) even, I can feel it rip. It's the most disgusting feeling and it then hurts for 2-3 days after that, to the point where walking or just moving around at all makes me want to cry. The MWs were/are worried that if I attempted to push the baby out, I'd cause myself to rip more and I'd be in severe pain for days if not weeks.

Anyway, you can feel the separation at the hernia and then the rip proceeds about 2-3" up. If you look closely at my linked belly pic above, you can kind of see it - just above the hernia bump, there's an indentation on my belly where the rip is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Burnindinner View Post
Wow, that is really interesting! How do you get linked up with your IP's? Is there an agency?
With my first IPs, I found them via an agency, yes. After a bad experience with the agency, I vowed to never go through one again. This time around, I happened to be part of a surrogacy group on Facebook and my IM had some questions and msg'd me privately. We got to talking and at first I was sort of counseling her about surrogacy as she spoke with a few surrogates she had been talking with for a bit. But it ended up, of course, that she wanted to work with me and me with her/them.
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Old 04-09-2010, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It is a truly beautiful thing you're doing. We dealt with infertility for a combined total of 3.5 years with #'s 2 and 3. (2 and 1.5 years, respectively) I can't even imagine the pain of going through more than that and/or m/c's. I'd love to look into it, but not sure I'd be a candidate in any case. Something to consider, though.

The abdominal thing sounds horribly painful. My muscles clenched just thinking about it.

Tiffany, loving wife to Matt, Mommy to Samantha (10/99), Tevin (8/04), Cadence (6/08) and babymooning with our sweet little Lauren 6/24/10
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Old 04-09-2010, 03:49 PM
 
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Your tummy is looking good momma! I can totally relate to you because my last pregnancy was as a surrogate. I loved the experience! It sounds like you have a great couple which makes a huge difference. How is it going without an agency? It seemed like there was so much to organize during mine, I don't know how I could have done it without the agency! I bet your IP's are getting so excited!! When will they be coming to town? My worst fear was mine missing the birth... I just wanted that moment for them so bad!

Your doing a great job!

Heidi, Married to my sweetheart of 13 yrs Kristopher, Mommy of 7 yr old Kairo, Expecting our sweet little girl Penelope 6/26/2010!
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Old 04-09-2010, 04:17 PM
 
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Thanks Tiffany. Yeah, that was sort of the kick in the behind I needed. I saw friends of mine going through all of that and here I was .. easily pregnant (first try and third try respectively) with my own children. I almost felt guilty. I had to do something!

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Your tummy is looking good momma! I can totally relate to you because my last pregnancy was as a surrogate. I loved the experience! It sounds like you have a great couple which makes a huge difference. How is it going without an agency? It seemed like there was so much to organize during mine, I don't know how I could have done it without the agency! I bet your IP's are getting so excited!! When will they be coming to town? My worst fear was mine missing the birth... I just wanted that moment for them so bad!

Your doing a great job!
Well, the agency the first go around was lazy to sum it up. My IPs and I were on their tails constantly to get moving. It was irritating. So, when the agency dropped off of the face of the earth (with a couple grand of my IP's money!), it was in a weird way a blessing. Having that middle man was just not something we really cared for. I only liked it for when we dealt with certain parts of the contract.

That said, it's been SO easy this time around. IPs and I have done things according to our own timeline and not been dependent on others (other than we will be on attorneys soon enough, but meh, that's part of the deal, right? LOL). I feel we have a much more open relationship because of it maybe? But my FIPs and I had a more business like relationship (sadly, it went that way when cycling began.. sigh).

Anyhoo, IM is flying out sometime during my 37th week. I forget when IF is. LOL. But they are anxious to be there for the birth, which makes me happy. My FIPs said they knew they'd probably miss it and didn't mind, since they had the rest of their lives with him. I kind of understood that but.. anyway, they did miss it and didn't come out until two days after he was born. Ehem.. so, I am excited that my IPs are excited and coming out beforehand, yes.
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Old 04-09-2010, 05:24 PM
 
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That agency sounds horrible! I went with CSP and they were amazing, once I was matched with my IP's it all went pretty quickly. I'm glad your couple this time is more interested in being involved and certainly there for the birth... that first couple just sounds depressing! My couple flew out at halfway through 35 weeks without telling me then called and acted like they couldn't make it for atleast 3 more weeks, lol! They knew I didn't want them to miss anything and they didn't.... I loved having them in the delivery room and getting to see their faces. I bet the birth will be so much funner for you this time It's kind of the big reward at the end of a long long journey.

Good luck momma!!

Heidi, Married to my sweetheart of 13 yrs Kristopher, Mommy of 7 yr old Kairo, Expecting our sweet little girl Penelope 6/26/2010!
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Old 04-09-2010, 08:15 PM
 
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Wow! You are amazing. What a generous gift.
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Old 04-11-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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You are giving the best gifts ever!!

mama to 4 kiddos, wife to one awesome man!  DH of 13yrs, DS 5/01,dd 5/05, DS 3/08, DS 6/10
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Old 04-11-2010, 12:53 AM
 
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So have you scheduled a date yet for your section? You're so going to go before me and i'm going to be so envious lol! And that's the only question i have since i know you from off the boards!

Loving mom to 2energy.gif ,1jammin.gif , & 1dog2.gif . Surrodaughter 4/09
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Old 04-11-2010, 01:43 AM
 
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Thanks ladies!

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So have you scheduled a date yet for your section? You're so going to go before me and i'm going to be so envious lol! And that's the only question i have since i know you from off the boards!
LOL J! I decided if it was a c/s, I wanted to deliver where I had the boys and DD. So, I am switching providers (AGAIN!). Another SM recommended an OB for this hosp who is familiar with surrogacy, so I need to call and make my next prenatal appt w/ him. I imagine it'll be between May 28th and June 4th-ish. I refuse to let it be before 39 weeks, which my IPs don't want either, thankfully (vs. last time when there was a big issue with FIPs wanting him out sooner.. sigh). We'll see.
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Old 04-11-2010, 01:47 AM
 
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Thanks ladies!



LOL J! I decided if it was a c/s, I wanted to deliver where I had the boys and DD. So, I am switching providers (AGAIN!). Another SM recommended an OB for this hosp who is familiar with surrogacy, so I need to call and make my next prenatal appt w/ him. I imagine it'll be between May 28th and June 4th-ish. I refuse to let it be before 39 weeks, which my IPs don't want either, thankfully (vs. last time when there was a big issue with FIPs wanting him out sooner.. sigh). We'll see.
Awesome, keep us posted! I totally understand changing providers. I've done it twice now!

Loving mom to 2energy.gif ,1jammin.gif , & 1dog2.gif . Surrodaughter 4/09
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