We also talked about how he has no idea how to help me have a natural childbirth (I don't either - my first was an epidural) but the doula DOES.
My doula also talked about how some husbands work with her as a team, some are more hands off and sometimes she just steps back when she realizes that husband and wife are working great together. And she said that all 3 of those circumstances can happen in the same birth!
The other way I explained it to him - rather crudely - is that I kind of see it that the OB and the nurse are there to keep me and baby alive, that he's there to love and support me and the doula is there to help me labor and birth. The OB is not going to give me unconditional love, the nurse is not (really) going to help me labor, the doula is not there to make sure baby is OK - each one has a primary role and I need ALL of them.
Me (40) DH (49) daring DD (9) and darling DS - almost THREE! (born June 25, 2010 in an amazing, unplanned
I *really* wished I could go back and get a doula at that point. A doula is great as they are by your side from start to finish no matter who is on duty in the hospital... it's a great way to stay calm and feel peaceful.
I highly recommend getting a good doula... it's worth the money.
Your husband won't even remotely be replaced by a doula as there is plenty for him to do! (Not to mention, it's YOUR job to get that baby out, you should have what "tools" you feel necessary so to speak.)
JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to
Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!
Good point that I forgot to mention and should have. I didn't know this then but I learned right after that birth from a post partum nurse!