UGH!!! Men!!! (Vent) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 04-14-2010, 06:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ugh, i just want to vent. my DF is driving me nuts right now. he told me an hour ago to let him know when I was done with the computer b/c he needed to get some work done. then he fell asleep. now i am trying to get him up and he is refusing to get up, saying he didn't sleep last night. NOT MY FAULT!!!! UGH!
he should've gone to bed earlier. he knew he had to be up this morning at 5:30 and didn't go to bed until 2:30. and now he wants to sleep in the middle of the afternoon, for longer than he should, which means he won't sleep tonight. And he needs to get this work done, b/c the directors of this project need it done. he drives me crazy sometimes b/c he is always changing his mind and gets mad at me for trying to keep him organized, which he asked me to do in the first place!!! But now he's saying that I am trying to control him. UGH!!!

I'm sorry, I don't mean to rant like this, but it really does drive me up the wall when he does stuff like this. I understand he's freelance and works, basically, for himself. But that doesn't mean that he can sleep whenever. Especially when he has told someone that he was going home to work on storyboards or something. NOT SLEEP. He gets more sleep than I do, b/c he can sleep through his own snoring. I can't. So I'm constantly tired throughout the day and when I want to go to bed, he argues that I make him turn off the T.V. And I don't take naps during the day most days, b/c I'm too busy trying to get our apartment ready for Merrick's arrival. And he won't listen to me about anything. I just end up feeling stupid or wrong for feeling this way. And he always just gets upset and thinks he's in the right. I hate it.

Gina: Wife to BrandonMommy to Azlea Noel 1-7-04, Valerie Raelle 9-28-05 and Merrick Lux born 5-29-10. S/m to Riley 6-27-02[/COLOR]
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#2 of 4 Old 04-14-2010, 07:04 PM
 
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Ugh. I know what that's like. DH used to be exactly like that. When I was bedridden, I couldn't keep track of him at all, and it was all on him whether he failed or got his act together. Then when he walked out on me for a while, he really had to take care of himself. I think that was great because I didn't have to deal w/his grumpiness and he couldn't be annoyed with me. Now that we're back together, I don't bother about him at all, and we are getting along better than ever. He's actually making time to hang out with me, rather than using every excuse for how he's so busy/sleepy/behind on work, etc.

I would just draw a line and tell your DF that you are not his mom and you are too busy and tired to keep track of what he needs to be doing. Put it all on him and he'll be forced to man up and take responsibility for himself. Or, you don't even have to tell him that. Just act it out, and if he complains that you didn't wake him or remind him, just apologize sweetly and blame it on "pregnancy brain".

Living happily and loving it!
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#3 of 4 Old 04-14-2010, 07:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by bananabee View Post
I would just draw a line and tell your DF that you are not his mom and you are too busy and tired to keep track of what he needs to be doing. Put it all on him and he'll be forced to man up and take responsibility for himself. Or, you don't even have to tell him that. Just act it out, and if he complains that you didn't wake him or remind him, just apologize sweetly and blame it on "pregnancy brain".
I wish the blaming it on "pregnancy brain" would work, but whenever i say anything about being pregnant (ie: my emotions/ due to hormones, forgetting something/ due to pregnancy brain) all's he says is "this is your fourth pregnancy, you would think you would know all of this by now." ugh! It's not like I can really control my emotions or my memory, trust me, I've tried.

Like right now, he's supposed to be picked up in twenty mins and he is STILL asleep!!! I'm half tempted to not wake him up and just let him deal with it when the director (HIS BOSS) gets here. But then again, I'm not that mean, b/c he will just get onto me and ask why I didn't wake him up and why did I let him sleep that long. And I've told him in the past that I'm not his mother, I am the mother to my two girls and when his son is over here, I'm his mother as well. He is 32 years old and should have no problem taking care of his own life/ job. I understand that we are in a relationship and that we work together as a team, but I do a lot around our house. I cook, clean, do laundry, feed the animals, plus manage his calender (which I want to do), and pay the bills. And the only thing I ask him to do is to take out the trash and walk the dog (yes, the same one that yanked me to my belly the other day).

Most of the time he is this extremely sweet, very helpful person, and other times, he reverts back to being 8 years old. UGH!!! I'm guessing this is one of those days. Now he will be up all night and I am tired of having to get up in the middle of the night to drag his ass to bed, just so he can get some sleep so he can get up the next morning to work. I mean, when he's on set, he works 12 + hour days and will function on 4 hours of sleep. He's a bear by the end of it, but he does it with little to no help from me. I refuse to baby him during that time.

Okay, I have to get off of here, this is turning into a HUGE rant again. LOL I need girlfriends to have a bitch night. LOL

Gina: Wife to BrandonMommy to Azlea Noel 1-7-04, Valerie Raelle 9-28-05 and Merrick Lux born 5-29-10. S/m to Riley 6-27-02[/COLOR]
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#4 of 4 Old 04-16-2010, 10:38 PM
 
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LOL! Can't believe I'm not the only one with this problem. My hubby is a complete night owl. His brain turns on around 9pm and then after my son and I are in bed he is up for hours and hours doing whatever it is that he does on his computer. For many years this drove me up the wall!! I would get so ticked if I woke up at 2 or 3 to pee and he was still not in bed... particularly when our son was younger and needed so much more in the mornings and it felt like I could never get extra rest because he was always needing to sleep in whenever possible.

My DH also snores, I feel your pain! He's been sleeping out of the room for atleast half a year now and this solution has worked so well. We got our son a bunk bed and he sleeps on the bottom bunk. We just get our snuggles in before I go to sleep

These days I have completely let go of trying to control his sleeping. I have learned that he can live more easily on 5-6 hours sleep than I can, I gotta have like 10 hours a night! He works a 8-5 job now that he is finished with school. He supports us financially and so I don't need to work at all. Our son is also older and soooooo much easier, on weekends he wakes up and hops on his computer to play a game till we get up. Those days are about to end though and I worry a little about this problem resurfacing.

Heidi, Married to my sweetheart of 13 yrs Kristopher, Mommy of 7 yr old Kairo, Expecting our sweet little girl Penelope 6/26/2010!
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