Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Westchester, New York
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We practice AP, co-sleeping and very, very far from CIO. I wasn't raised this way and truth be told, I didn't know that this is what my parenting style was called until I became a parent and started reading. I am still learning.
When my son was first born I felt such animosity towards CIO moms - didn't even want to befriend them. I only wanted moms who did what I was doing. Why? Maybe I needed the support. Maybe I needed other moms around me who could validate that what I was doing was right because really, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I was just surviving. I think that's true for a lot of moms. I took a lot of criticism which I have to say, as a new mom who didn't know squat, was not in the least bit helpful. It helped to hear how others were doing it - what worked and didn't work for them so that I could come up with my own decisions. But people who told me that what I was doing was wrong were not only alienated by me but they also alienated me - not what a new mom needs. I think too that because I was so uncertain on how to do things I was so much more sensitive and responsive to other people's perception.
The short way around that long winded story is that sometimes it helps to bite your tongue and say something like, "oh,you're trying CIO? My heart just couldn't take it so I did it this way..." It's not saying 'I'm right, you're wrong". It's just presenting a different way to experience the situation - you don't get angry at an infant for crying - and alternative way to handle it.
I hope this helps.
And, as someone who has an in-law who sends really offensive chain emails - therein is the beauty of delete, delete, delete. Or in the case of FB, just don't read it.