Struggling Emotionally? - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-18-2010, 05:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, is anyone else struggling a bit emotionally?
I am at the moment. I am so tired and moody and emotional and tired of being this way! I am really frustrated at how little I can do, I am normally a very active person and I am doing so little of everything I want to. I have also had NO time to myself in the last few months (something I hope to change today), I am always with the kids (dd 4.5 and as 22 months) and when I get them to bed in the evening I'm just too exhausted to do anything bar knit a little, have a bath and go to bed.
We moved to a new village when I was a few months pregnant so I'm trying to meet people and explore at the same time.
I am also not sure how I feel about dp at the moment. He is not picking up on the fact that I need extra help and he always takes my asking for help as some kind of attack. I told him for example that I wanted to take off today go to the cinema or something alone... and he hasn't talked to me all day yesterday and won't tell me why he's in such a mood. I'm just not able for his s**t at the moment...
oh god here come the tears again...
I'm so fed up with all of this and I can't wait for the baby to be here and get back to normal. And I am so sad that I'm not enjoying this pregnancy as it will be my last.
Anyone else feeling over emotional and tired? Please say yes that it's normal and will get better when the baby is here.
Sorry, just needed to vent really
Lx
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Old 04-18-2010, 08:56 AM
 
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I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I am just starting to feel emotional and tired on a regular basis. It helps BIG TIME that my kids are a bit older-6 and 4-so I don't feel so "needed" all freaking day. I think that is always big for me as I found pregnancy much more difficult when I had a 22 month old and was expecting a new baby. Definitely find a way to take some time for yourself and let DH know you're doing it for your own sanity...he'll get the pay off too. I'm sorry you're having a rough time!!

Mama to Noah and Sophie and Stella 7/4/ 2010
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Old 04-18-2010, 09:56 AM
 
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I'm right there with you, Laangle. It's depressing to feel so tired and annoyed most of the time. I can't even stand being around myself!!! I feel like I want caffeine all day long - and often have a cup out of sheer necessity. For me, one thing that helps is to keep my eyes on the prize and remember that this too shall pass.
Like you, I feel guilty about the fact that I'm not enjoying this more. I think there are women who love being pregnant and then... there's me. I don't love the state of pregnancy. Sometimes I wonder what's wrong w/ me but you know, so what? I don't like the way this feels - I'm entitled to it. And maybe all the more noble is that I don't like this state but I do the work of it anyway because I have chosen the state of motherhood - to love, support, nurture another human being in hope that my little contribution makes this world a better place.
Keep on keeping on. This will end very soon!
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Old 04-18-2010, 01:39 PM
 
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Hugs, mama! I'm sorry DP is not being supportive. Sounds like you definitely need some *you* time and that will go a long way to help your exhaustion and the emotions. I'm sure it will get better. Just hang in there!
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Old 04-18-2010, 02:52 PM
 
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I am so sorry that you are having a hard time. This is my second pregnancy and my dd is 30 months old. I can't believe how much harder I am finding it this time round. I feel as big as a boat and achy all the time - I think I am trying to do too much and I just can't seem to get myself to do the scaling back that I should be doing. It IS hard when you don't get any time to yourself and then when you do take time, if you are anything like me, you feel guilty. I am lucky in terms of the fact that dh is really picking up the slack around the house and working non-stop but the flip side for me is that I then feel guilty all the time because he is having to work so hard and I feel useless. Don't discount the fact that you are also facing some really big changes and that has to be anxiety-inducing, too. While there are women who love being pregnant, I don't really think that is the norm, especially as you approach the end. Personally, I believe that it's God's way to get us ready for delivery - knowing that delivery ends this stage of things makes it something that is a bit easier to look forward to and not quite so much to be feared.
Hang in there and, as everyone says, try and find time for yourself. I personally have also found that there are more offers of help than I realise and I tend to feel such a need to prove myself that I don't accept it. People really DO want to help and take advantage of it while you can.
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Old 04-18-2010, 03:13 PM
 
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Yes, i can identify with your feelings. Mine come and go. I'm homeschooling and we only have 1 vehicle, so life is 24/7 my girls and this pregnancy. The only thing that has kept me sane is dh.

You really do need to get out and get a break. Can you talk it out with your dp? Just a walk, or a movie or something where you don't have to think, tend to other's needs and can breath for an hour or so may help clear your head immensly.

Big hugs, it's the homestretch and i think it is always the time that is chalk full with so many emotions. Some are physically uncomfortable on top of digesting all the parts of parenthood that are coming at us very quickly.

Loving mom to 2energy.gif ,1jammin.gif , & 1dog2.gif . Surrodaughter 4/09
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Old 04-18-2010, 06:48 PM
 
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Lx, hugs to you!

I hope you are able to honor your needs and pull together some help from your partner and family or friends. It is hard with two and the demands of a pregnancy on your body...heck I only have one 3 yr old and this pregnancy is so much more challenging than his, when I had no added responsibility! So, I can imagine with two young ones the real need for rest and alone time. Bless you!

I hope you and your partner have good communication and are able to talk about it all! Sometimes when things are bothering folks they just aren't ready to talk right away, understandably, but hopefully he will come through and have a good chat!

Let us know how you are doing!
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Old 04-18-2010, 09:38 PM
 
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I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. It has to be hard with kids around and a partner who doesn't get it. All you moms who are on your 2nd, 3rd, etc are my heros. Between sleep deprivation, the physical limitations/discomfort and tiredness most of us are having at this point, coping w/people who depend on you has got to be super tough. These last few days I feel like just lying down and saying to DH, "Okay, dear! The rest is on you. I'm doing some serious baking now and need to remain in bed all day for the next 8 wks to do it." The house is such a mess right now, we're both going a little nutz.

Living happily and embracing adventures.
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Old 04-19-2010, 02:35 AM
 
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I'm sorry it's getting rough for you...

I am definitely starting to get a little freaked out. DH is getting freaked out, too, as he feels more financial responsibility coming on. I try to reassure him, but he just kind of prefers to deal with it by not thinking about it. I feel like he may be missing out on some special parts of the pregnancy by trying to not worry/think about it, but I don't know how to say, let's think about this a whole lot, because then it makes him feel worse.

Our house, too, has seen better days. My mom and a friend are coming in from out-of-town for the baby shower next weekend. I am really glad they are coming, but I am not looking forward to the cleaning that needs to be done around here. I have two other jobs, on top of being mom, that I need to do this week. As an example, I thought I had run the dishes in the dishwasher already, and I figured out this evening that I hadn't, and that I had eaten my breakfast on a dirty plate. Oh, well, at least it's our dirt, right??

Hang in there!!

Joanna, 6 years married to DH, Mom to 3-1/2 yo DS Owen and DD Taylor, born 6/14/10 by unmedicated
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Old 04-19-2010, 05:15 AM
 
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Yes. I've been back and forth a lot lately. Some days are great and some days are a freaking train wreck. I'm also having a very hard time right now with dp and his lack of drive to do much of anything around here. I'm starting to feel panicky about taking care of a 5-year old AND the house AND everything else while I have a new baby. He's just not there, he flat out doesnt get it, and I'm getting more and more frustrated about it. He'll put a few dishes a way and then go sit on his computer playing games for the rest of the night, thinking that he's been helpful... even though the kitchen is still a mess and there's five thousand other things to do.

Anyway... ugh. Yeah I'm with you. Friday I was being set off all over the place, it was terrible.

Weirdo Mama to amazing Aurelia, age 9 & Ember Roslyn, age 3!
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Old 04-19-2010, 10:26 AM
 
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I forgot to mention in my other post that I have been going to an acupuncturist who is working miracles on my mood. But if more than 10 - 14 days pass, I get down again. I wish everyone could have access to her! She definitely attributes it to hormones. My point of sharing this is that I find a great deal of comfort in the fact that this is physical, that the crazy emotional state is real, is tangible and that it will come to an end.
Good luck everyone! We will make it through just fine and in about 18 years when they head off for college, we'll get some time to ourselves!!!
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Old 04-19-2010, 05:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks all for your kind replies. I did take some time to myself yesterday and went for a long swim and lunch alone and was gone about 5 hours and you know what I didn't feel guilty and when I got home I found dp had taken the kids to the beach all day (instead of sitting them infront of the TV as I feared) and he also had snapped out of the bad mood he's been in. I really needed the time off and will try to make a point of having some kind of me time every week from now on.
I was also talking to a friend of mine today who recommended I look at some bach flower remedies. I used them when I was having major pmt before I had ds and found them excellent then so will have a look at that again and may look into a homeopath too.
Thanks again for all your words of encouragement and support x
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Old 04-19-2010, 06:54 PM
 
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I'm so glad you wre able to break away and get some time to center!!!

Loving mom to 2energy.gif ,1jammin.gif , & 1dog2.gif . Surrodaughter 4/09
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Old 04-21-2010, 04:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by laangel View Post
I was also talking to a friend of mine today who recommended I look at some bach flower remedies. I used them when I was having major pmt before I had ds and found them excellent then so will have a look at that again and may look into a homeopath too.
I take Bach's rescue remedy (recommended by my OB on my first pregnancy) and it works great!

I'm struggling emotionally as well with this pregnancy as I keep having minor physical problems that upset me (eg nasty varicose veins, an ongoing persistent yeast infection) but most of all I find it very hard to deal with my toddler (he's 2 years and 8 months). He's very very active and he just knows how to push the wrong buttons (examples, he refuses to change his diaper for hours, to change his clothes so this means I cannot even take him outside for a walk, he's furious and starts throwing things when I'm on the phone or on the PC etc). So I end up crying all alone nearly every single day and often regreting that I'm having another baby

DH comes home from work at around 4 pm, goes straight to the gym and then comes home, helps a bit (like taking DS to the park and helping me with dinner) but then spends the rest of the evening watching TV, totally ignoring me and DS who again gets furious and makes my life miserable!

I've recently signed up for private pre-natal yoga and birth classes (which I did consistently on my first pregnancy) and go twice a week. I've already been to one and it was so relaxing, the lady is great and very gentle and she seems to be able to help me connect with this baby because I haven't been able to give it much positive thought thus far. I think is totally worth the cost if it means calming me down and helping me prepare for a home-birth.
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Old 04-21-2010, 08:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Gingercat
Sorry to hear you're having a hard time too. What remedy do you take?
Sounds like our dp's are pretty similar too in how much they do (or don't do) around the house.
I can't really reply now as kids are crawling over me, but just wanted to send you hugs from one frazzled mummy to another xxx
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Old 04-21-2010, 05:39 PM
 
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Hi Gingercat
Sorry to hear you're having a hard time too. What remedy do you take?
I take the original one, Rescue Remedy. I guess that if you see a certified Bach flower remedies adviser he/she could direct you to a more specialised one depending on your feelings, but I find that the general one works pretty well for me.


Quote:
Originally Posted by laangel View Post
Sounds like our dp's are pretty similar too in how much they do (or don't do) around the house.
The most annoying thing about him is that he thinks that all the things I do around the house and asking help with are not really necessary and I shouldn't do them at all! Examples: making the beds in the morning, washing the dishes, doing laundry, hoovering and mopping more frequently than once a month etc

So I really cannot argue much with him as he always stresses that I'm fussing over ... well, nothing!!!
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