burnindinner- I really really really hope you get your homebirth
I'm so glad you can be at peace with whatever needs to happen though, that is so key to a good birth experience, and a good rest of your pregnancy.
That's how I felt last time with the blood pressure (minus the at peace with everything part
), I had to basically plan a backup plan because I was right on that line of risking out for weeks, and it sucked. That's why it's weighing so heavily on my mind this time, I don't want to go through that again
I haven't really talked to her about it since last visit, I called her today to ask her about valerian root (I've been taking it every night in order to sleep and I wanted to make sure that was ok!) and she told me my GBS was negative, and then we chit chatted about kids and such and got off the phone. I've been a slacker on RRL tea, I should start that again. I'm going to do EPO again, I did it last time, who knows if it helped but it made me feel better
I did both with DD2, and Cotton Root tincture, and she was born at 40 weeks 6 days, and I think I actually had a stretch/sweep before going to the hospital at 40+5, where I went into early labor and then was sent home (luckily, I'm still shocked they let me walk out of there!)
I guess I'll talk to her about it all next week, she's good at calming my fears. I feel so hypocritical because I'm all about trusting your body and trusting birth and trusting your baby's timeline, but I'm terrified that my body is going to "betray" me on this blood pressure thing and I'm going to end up in a hospital hooked up to Pit like I was with DD1.
And I tell myself over and over that that will not happen again because it was a totally different situation, I am more educated, I have more tools at hand, I have a VASTLY better care provider.....but the birth trauma keeps coming up in this fear. And part of it is justified because 2 out of 3 pregnancies HAVE ended with me getting PIH, so I should be on the lookout in this 3rd pregnancy, but part of it is just plain ol' fear.
So I guess my qualms with any "interventions" done with my midwife are this: am I doing this for a real, justifiable reason where the benefits outweigh the risks (or it is the lesser of two evils, meaning, is this keeping me away from a hospital induction), or am I doing this out of fear and taking risks where there are no clear benefits?? And I don't know the answer and it's driving me crazy. (if you couldn't tell by me blabbering on about it forever)....