The pregnancy 10 commandments - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 05-16-2010, 05:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I saw this and thought it was funny. Enjoy!!!

The Pregnancy Ten Commandments


1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.


2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus, or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby"


3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in #2, the pregnancy, birth and the raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about to pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!"

6. Most of us have picked up on the fact that summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, mother-in-law or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt or genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are not invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents' home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from various locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.


10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask you to wait 3 weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Gina: Wife to BrandonMommy to Azlea Noel 1-7-04, Valerie Raelle 9-28-05 and Merrick Lux born 5-29-10. S/m to Riley 6-27-02[/COLOR]
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#2 of 14 Old 05-16-2010, 05:42 PM
 
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Oh, I really *love* this!

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#3 of 14 Old 05-16-2010, 05:43 PM
 
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This is awesome! I feel like I should sent it out via mass email.
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#4 of 14 Old 05-16-2010, 05:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I thought it was hilarious. So fitting. And it seems to be funnier b/c we are farther along in our pregnancies. Or maybe that's just me. LOL

Gina: Wife to BrandonMommy to Azlea Noel 1-7-04, Valerie Raelle 9-28-05 and Merrick Lux born 5-29-10. S/m to Riley 6-27-02[/COLOR]
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#5 of 14 Old 05-16-2010, 05:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pacificbliss View Post
This is awesome! I feel like I should sent it out via mass email.
I wouldn't mind doing that, except I am wanting the help around our house and people coming to visit. Since our families live 3 1/2 hours away, I don't really have a problem (as of right now) having them come visit right after. As long as they adhere to the rule of them not holding the baby more than me or DF. LOL And they actually help doing some house work. LOL I DO NOT intend on getting up to clean and cook for at least two weeks, if not longer. LOL That is my rest and recovery time.

Gina: Wife to BrandonMommy to Azlea Noel 1-7-04, Valerie Raelle 9-28-05 and Merrick Lux born 5-29-10. S/m to Riley 6-27-02[/COLOR]
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#6 of 14 Old 05-16-2010, 05:57 PM
 
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I needed to read this today, thank you! At church this morning, I had several people who felt the need to either a. inform me that I am SO huge that there is no way that I will go much longer even though I am not due until June 17th or b. inform me that I am carrying incredibly high and obviously it will be a while but the baby will be huge. I know I should ignore people since my o.b. doesn't seem at all concerned but today, I must be feeling hormones because it was really scaring and upsetting me.
Thanks!!!
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#7 of 14 Old 05-16-2010, 08:15 PM
 
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Right on!

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#8 of 14 Old 05-16-2010, 11:17 PM
 
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Loved this!!! I was at my niece's music recital last night and subjected to constant belly groping, not only from family members but perfect strangers as well... Since when is a pregnant woman's body public property?!

Working mama to a wonderful baby girl. Married to a really sweet guy. Just trying to do my best.
     
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#9 of 14 Old 05-17-2010, 02:14 AM
 
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I should email this to my dad. Yesterday he told me that i am getting bigger. Gee thanks dad, you think? Of course when he realized his foot was in his mouth he went on to say he meant it was nice to see me finally carry a pregnancy like other women since i was so tiny with the other 3. Yeah, stop while you're ahead dad.

And all week people have been randomly touching my belly. The only ones i haven't wanted to kill, are those who have been polite enough to actually ASK first. LOL

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#10 of 14 Old 05-17-2010, 03:32 AM
 
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Love it! I think I'll C&P it onto Facebook. Tomorrow, of course, so all of my east coast relatives see it. (Especially the ones who ask how much weight I've gained. If I don't step on a scale even for my midwife, then I'm sure the heck not going to step on one just to satisfy their nosiness!)

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#11 of 14 Old 05-17-2010, 10:37 AM
 
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I too added it to my FB....I"m over hearing family members call MY baby theirs...I do all the work!

~Marla~
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#12 of 14 Old 05-17-2010, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I posted it to my FB as soon as I could.

Gina: Wife to BrandonMommy to Azlea Noel 1-7-04, Valerie Raelle 9-28-05 and Merrick Lux born 5-29-10. S/m to Riley 6-27-02[/COLOR]
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#13 of 14 Old 05-17-2010, 04:12 PM
 
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I posted it on my facebook also my pregnant friends loved it!

S Momma to:8:5:4:1.5 and: May 29 2010 loving wife to C:
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#14 of 14 Old 05-17-2010, 04:48 PM
 
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I saw this with my first pregnancy and depserately wish my in-laws would have followed some of the rules listed. They assumed that I'd want them to park their RV in my driveway for a month (and we can't even stand each other!), thankfully they got the message that they were not allowed to do it. I tried to enforce a waiting period with them before coming over to see DD, they ignored it and spent the entire time holding SS. I had to escape to the bedroom to BF DD, and spent most of the time they were there cleaning up after their meal, which they made my DH cook. Needless to say, they started heading down this road again last month, and since things are even worse between them and us now, I've firmly put my foot down. DH knows that I will divorce him so fast if they step one foot on our property before I say it's okay. I will NOT be having them ruin our babymoon again!

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