Facebook-Am I being tacky? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 05-28-2010, 09:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Let me preface this by saying every person on my facebook is someone I actualy KNOW, all friends and family I do not do friends with people who I dont know I have this paranoia about privacy thing..I dunno Im weird I guess..anyway...

This is our 4th baby, we have never had a baby shower we have always had to buy stuff on our own..we are having a girl..My ODD is my oldest and she is 9, my youngest is 4 so we have long ago donated all our baby stuff..well money has been REALLY uber tight this time around. We got a loaner car seat from a neighbor to get the baby home from the hospital, and my DH did some barter work for a crib..but we literaly have nothing else..the smallest size I have in anything is a few 2T items. Most of our friends and family know this, and as usual nobody has asked if we need anything..SO I put a message up on facebook today, stating that we are still on the hunt for hand me downs for a girl and everything will be donated to the battered womens shelter of cleveland once the baby has outgrown it (I would rather donate to those in need, then trash anything) so to let me know if anyone has stuff they want to get rid of..

I kinda feel like this is tacky, like I cant handle my own..BUT I also know that we need stuff..Im kinda freaking that the baby can come anytime and we have noda for it..

Does this just seem like I am begging for a handout?

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."- Kurt Cobain
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#2 of 19 Old 05-28-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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NOT AT ALL!!! I'm surprised no one has offered prior to this. I'm in a similar situation. My youngest is 3. I only have a few diapers left over from him, so aside from those 4 or so, they are all hand me downs.
You don't need to worry about how you sound at all. It is perfectly acceptable to ask for help. And good for you for donating when you're done!!!

Elizabeth, Proud Pagan wife, and mama to DD - 10/30/01, DS1 - 01/08/04, DS2 - 03/22/07, my twin DDs -08/08 and our new little DS3 - 06/11/10
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#3 of 19 Old 05-28-2010, 09:52 PM
 
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I think it is fine! People don't always know that you would like their hand me downs unless you ask. So ask away mama!

CD'ing, homebirthing, milk making school teacher. Supporting my family on my income and trying to get out of debt in 2013!
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#4 of 19 Old 05-28-2010, 09:53 PM
 
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I don't think that is tacky AT ALL! Do you have any decent thrift stores in the area? Small sizes especially are pretty easy to come by since babies grow out of them before they are worn much...craigslist is another place to check too for free or very cheap clothes. Some thrift stores have days when you pay just a couple dollars to fill a bag of clothes. I hope that someone helps you out mama!

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homeschooling mama to 4 wonderful girls, and 1 boy!  praying for #6, sch, due 4/14/2013!

 

 

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#5 of 19 Old 05-28-2010, 10:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanx Ladies, I guess I just needed re-assurance that its ok to ask for help once in awhile..it really annoys me that nobody has offered up anything since whenever I know someone is close to having a baby I am the first to call/email and say hey what do you need..But I guess thats just me

ETA: We do have a thrift-store, I'm gonna hit it up as soon as I have some money to play with..There is also birthright.org, which I had completely forgotten about, they give out gently used items to pregnant moms so I am gonna call them on tuesday and see what they can do.

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."- Kurt Cobain
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#6 of 19 Old 05-28-2010, 10:15 PM
 
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Freecycle is also a great place to ask for such things. Or keep an eye out for them. I've gotten a car seat, bassinet, and two bags of rather dirty/stained baby clothes. Friends of mine have had much better luck. Garage sales are awesome, too. One neighbor had tons of baby clothes and sold them at the rate of fill a bag for a buck. My SIL raided a missionary barrel at her church for me and got me some really cute stuff. I think I've spent less than $10 for all the clothes I've gotten.

But I think posting that on Facebook is just fine, not tacky at all. Good luck!

Living happily and embracing adventures.
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#7 of 19 Old 05-28-2010, 10:26 PM
 
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It sounds fine to me! Not tacky, no.

That said, I never was thrown a baby shower either. And though we planned both pregnancies, we didn't expect twins the first go around. So, we were scrambling to get a few extras. It kind of stunk that I had thrown showers for others and yet nothing was done for us (mainly because I wanted the celebration of my babies lives, but eh, anyway).

I wish I could help but we have NOTHING left, being my youngest is now 5 years old.
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#8 of 19 Old 05-28-2010, 10:48 PM
 
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ddcc-
You might also try your tribe area here on MDC. Certainly there are people in your area who might be willing to give you a few outfits.

Hippie sympathizer and mom to L, 4.8.10.
Pet-mom to Squirt with FLUTD & Maya the deaf wonder dog .
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#9 of 19 Old 05-28-2010, 10:54 PM
 
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I agree with others, I don't think it's tacky AT ALL!
And I wanted to say, for sure call up Birthright! My friend is one of the head volunteers out here for them and she has had me come in for diapers and things when we were hurting for money, and everyone there is so nice and generous, they would most likely be glad to help you get any of the things you need for your new baby.

mama to August May (8/06) Liberty Kiana (7/08) and Calliope Rose (6/15/10)
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#10 of 19 Old 05-28-2010, 11:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You guys rock! Thank you for the support and ideas!

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."- Kurt Cobain
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#11 of 19 Old 05-29-2010, 12:11 AM
 
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Just wanted to say I agree. Especially if you word it politely, there is nothing wrong with letting people know what you need.

Mama to Nov '08 and June '10
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#12 of 19 Old 05-29-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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DDCC - asking for them to buy you new stuff would be tacky, stating that you would accept hand-me-downs as you did... very not... but rather very tactful!

kudos for the donating it there too, big heart you have to do that!

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#13 of 19 Old 05-29-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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I just wanted to chime in and say NOT TACKY. When we're done with some of our baby stuff, I'd much rather hand the gently used pieces down to a friend than go through the hassle of selling it or just giving it to Goodwill.

Wife to a wonderful dh and mom to four beautiful kiddos, dd (3/04):, ds1 (1/06), ds2 (10/08), and ds3 (7/10)
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#14 of 19 Old 05-29-2010, 12:39 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bananabee View Post
Freecycle is also a great place to ask for such things. Or keep an eye out for them. I've gotten a car seat, bassinet, and two bags of rather dirty/stained baby clothes. Friends of mine have had much better luck. Garage sales are awesome, too. One neighbor had tons of baby clothes and sold them at the rate of fill a bag for a buck. My SIL raided a missionary barrel at her church for me and got me some really cute stuff. I think I've spent less than $10 for all the clothes I've gotten.

But I think posting that on Facebook is just fine, not tacky at all. Good luck!
Freecycle is AMAZING!!! I don't know what I would've done without it. I posted something a couple of months back on the one in Austin about needing baby items and this wonderful, sweet lady gave us a baby crib, a stroller, bedding and bumper pads, a play table, and a bouncy seat. She also said that when she was ready to let go of the rest of her baby stuff, we could have it. I am about to put up another request for baby boy clothes. I have received a ton of stuff over the past couple of years due to it too. We just got a micro-fiber loveseat for our living room last week, which is in GREAT condition. And I've gotten clothes for all three of our older children.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. I've had to explain this to my DF, b/c he gets prideful sometimes about asking or revealing what problems that we have. We are on Food Benefits and WIC right now, but he hates telling our friends that. We have been so blessed over the past years, that I have no problem not hiding the fact that we need help occasionally. So no, it's not tacky to ask for help. I hope that you get everything you need.

Gina: Wife to BrandonMommy to Azlea Noel 1-7-04, Valerie Raelle 9-28-05 and Merrick Lux born 5-29-10. S/m to Riley 6-27-02[/COLOR]
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#15 of 19 Old 05-29-2010, 07:18 AM
 
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I agree with everyone else-not tacky at all. I know when I thought I was done having babes and we were moving out of the country I just wanted the baby stuff gone! I was so happy to give it to a good home. I am sure others feel the same.

Mama to Noah and Sophie and Stella 7/4/ 2010
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#16 of 19 Old 05-29-2010, 08:52 AM
 
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Not at all tacky! I am shocked that no one has offered anything!

I also wanted to chime in and say that freecycle is a GREAT resource. You'd be amazed how many people are totally willing to give there baby stuff to a family in need! I wish I had some girl stuff to send your way - but I've only got boys here. Good luck!
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#17 of 19 Old 05-29-2010, 07:04 PM
 
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I have to say NOT tacky!! It gives your friends a chance to see that "hey, I have a friend in need, maybe there's something I can do to help her out!" If one of my friends posted something like you did I would totally see if there was something I could do for them. As a matter of fact, I have a huge bag of boy clothes i'm going to drop off at my sisters in a bit because she knows someone who needs them. Babies grow so fast (as i'm sure with 3 others you know all about this) so you wouldn't really need to much clothes either. I'd just do what everyone else has suggested and look around at local thrift stores, freecycle, craigslist,ect.
Good luck to you momma, really wish I could help out but it looks like we're in the same boat, pretty much trying to get things together for our ladybug too.


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#18 of 19 Old 05-29-2010, 08:30 PM
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Definitely not tacky. And posting it on Facebook should help keep the pressure OFF those who don't want to hand things over, as it isn't a "direct" request.

Also, if you have friends and family who are likely between kids themselves, offer to keep track and give items back to them when they are done rather than donating - we have quite a few essential items that will be going back to their original owners when we are done with them, so they will have them back on hand before they get around to having their next child. Almost every item of maternity wear that I had falls into this category. And in turn I'll likely be doing the same with my SIL, who is currently trying to conceive, with our new stuff - I'll pass it on to her for the newborm stage, then she can pass it back afterwards in case DH and I decide to have another child in a few years.

Jackie
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#19 of 19 Old 05-29-2010, 11:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanx Again to everyone who has chimed in..

a few ppl messaged me and said sorry they didnt have anything..at least they were kind about it It was an idea none-the-less..SO I am gonna hit up birthright this week *fingers crossed*

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."- Kurt Cobain
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