Annoying day. Ugh. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 06-01-2010, 09:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi mamas! Congrats to all of you having your babes! I've been mostly lurking, but its helped a lot to know that there are others out there going through the same things.

I just need a place to vent. At 36.5 weeks, I'm super emotional and today hasn't helped.

This morning, in a 15 minute period, the following took place. DS started vomiting all over the living room, DH was in the bathroom. I had to get the dogs out(they try to eat the vomit, its sooooo gross). One of them has been on rest for a bad knee. Unfortunately, they both got out and chased after a squirrel. I started to throw up the small amount of food I really had been needing to get in me. DH comes out into it all, lets the dogs in and the dog who had been on rest (and who is DH's baby...) is not putting any weight on his back leg. I'm recovering from puking, trying to get DS in a bath to clean off and DH decides to go into crazy mode and all angry at me for letting the dogs out together. Right...like I'm not feeling crappy enough about it. He collects himself pretty quickly and apologizes for being an a-hole, but STILL, why the hell is that the first place he has to go?!

I take him to work and have a totally depressing and non productive day... third day in a row without a walk. I did schedule a bunch of appointments I needed to, DS got some rest, but the house is trashed.

DH just took the dog to the vet. This is most likely going to cost $2000 to fix the dog, which is $$ we don't have right now(the reason he was on rest, to see what it would do given some time...) and I had just finally put my money worries at bay realizing they weren't doing me any good at this point in my pregnancy.

Anyway, when I picked up DH and he's all distant because he was "worried about the dog all day"(oh, and our puking son...but it seemed like an afterthought).

I'm working on turning a breech baby so that the HBAC that DH actually wanted in the first place can take place. Everything seems to be trying to get in the way of it, but I want it bad at this point, but I need DH to be present. All I can think of is that this is just going to be an excuse for him to focus on something else. Ok, so we have 3 weeks, either the dog goes on rest again and DH worries about him every day, he goes for surgery and DH worries about him every day, or goes for surgery AFTER the babe is born and he checks out when I need him watching DS. Great...he SWORE he would not find a reason to check out this go round (LONG story about DS, but lets just say it was pretty annoying) and is continuing to say such, but when he gets all distant, which is doesn't do much at all anymore, I get worried. And I really need his help, unfortunately. I need lots of help right now.

I'm so weepy and all over the place, so if you've read this far, THANKS. I'm hoping its just a bad day and he comes home with good news from the vet...

S, mama to boy M(6/07) and baby girl R(7/10). We do all the good natural family living stuff!
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#2 of 11 Old 06-01-2010, 09:25 PM
 
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Big giant hugs. That sounds like a craptastic day. I'm hoping your dh comes home with good news about the dog. Can you find someone to care for it for a few days to give you a break?

Loving mom to 2energy.gif ,1jammin.gif , & 1dog2.gif . Surrodaughter 4/09
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#3 of 11 Old 06-01-2010, 10:04 PM
 
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That stomach bug is really going around. I hope you're feeling better now, and that your DH grows up a bit between now and your baby's birth. I have a squirrel-chasing dog with a bad knee, too. The vet told me to rest him for 6 or 7 mos, which is impossible, as I never could get him to stop jumping on the couches and running around with his toys. I've been giving him an egg once a day with about half the amount of kibble I usually give him, and he is doing worlds better (though he started out w/some terrible gas). Anyway, you might try that. It's a lot cheaper than surgery, and the other benefits seem to be more energy, better listening skills, and a shinier coat.

Living happily and embracing adventures.
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#4 of 11 Old 06-01-2010, 10:56 PM
 
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Oh, man, that makes me feel better about my day. Sorry it was so crappy for you. I hope your dh can man up and realize what's truly most important.

Tiffany, loving wife to Matt, Mommy to Samantha (10/99), Tevin (8/04), Cadence (6/08) and babymooning with our sweet little Lauren 6/24/10
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#5 of 11 Old 06-02-2010, 12:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, mamas .

So, vet is working up an estimate. She is really wonderful. Young, pregnant herself, super qualified and trying to shave a bunch $$ off of this, because she has old dogs(most likely ones she had as a poor vet student like DH-PhD, not vet, though). DH is going to ask his parents for $$. Something that we NEVER do, so mixed feelings on that, but we realize its necessary. And if not, we just make payments on it until next tax refund.

Thing is that we've rested the dog a ton , he's dropped good weight, we've got him on a grain free diet, but he's 10, and he's just not as spry as he used to be. What has happened before is that he's just torn it a bit, so he can rest and it will heal over. What most likely has happened this time(as it happened before), is that he has torn it COMPLETELY and it makes it so he can't use the leg. And makes me feel like a total meanie if I don't do anything about it. They are going to put him under, see whats and if something needs doing, they'll do it and if not, they will call it off and we'll take it from there. Honestly, I am not exaggerating that we have spent at least $10,000 on this dog, at least for sure once he has this surgery. they should be able to schedule it all soon so we can have it done with and have him drugged up before baby gets here.

DH and I had some GREAT talks tonight. It reminded me how awesomely committed to this birth being better than last time we are. We are both being super honest and real about our fears and insecurities and what we expect from one another. He was insanely apologetic about his behavior today. He feels awful for taking his stress out on me, and reminded me that he knows that the #1 priorities right now are me/baby and DS. Thats what I needed to hear and believe. I honestly haven't seen that behavior from him that I saw today in 3 years. It was so freaky to me.

One positive note from today, I did finally schedule DS's 3rd b-day party and there are like 10 people coming already! All he wants is lots of people and cake, so we're half way there!

Thanks again. I hate this stress at this point! What happened to daily massages and lots of ice cream at this point?!

S, mama to boy M(6/07) and baby girl R(7/10). We do all the good natural family living stuff!
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#6 of 11 Old 06-02-2010, 12:55 AM
 
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I am so sorry... that kind of thing must be in the air right now. I seem to be surrounded my "help" that is making me crazy at the moment, too but at least today, Dh and I had a chance for a good chat and I feel like we are back on the same page.
Is it the ACL that your dog has torn? If so, I am so sorry, I know that is a long process. I know that vets need to make a living, too, but it does seem to be at our expense!
Good luck, hang in there and maybe try some ice cream therapy!!! I hope you get the delivery that you are hoping for and that the dog is fine.
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#7 of 11 Old 06-02-2010, 09:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, pippasmum. Yeah, DH and I are better also, he got up with DS last night and tried to help out with that so I could get some rest.
It is the ACL. The thing is he tore the OTHER back ACL last year. Darn dog...
DS now has a fever, barely slept and we were up at 4:30. Aaahhh...my poor midwife has no idea what she's coming into today .

S, mama to boy M(6/07) and baby girl R(7/10). We do all the good natural family living stuff!
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#8 of 11 Old 06-02-2010, 10:02 AM
 
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Just wanted to let you know I know how you're feeling about your dog! Our dog tore the ligaments in one of his back knees a couple of years ago.....right as we were about to have DD1. There was no way we could pay for the surgery either. We kept his leg wrapped in an ace bandage for a while to keep it in place, and started giving him a little bit of aspirin for the pain. Our vet was really understanding about us not being able to operate, and really helped us with knowing what we could do to help him heal the best he could without it. We had him on anti-inflammatories for a long time, and now he's got some arthritis in that knee, but it's healed, and doesn't bother him for the most part.

Alexas , Wife to Bobby , mama to Macie Quinn(6)dust.gif Emery Pearl (3)energy.gifand Baby Boy due in July belly.gif

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#9 of 11 Old 06-02-2010, 10:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, alexas! So, question for you...do you know if it was a complete tear or was it just a partial one? I'm hearing that course of treatment from other owners as well and I'm trying to guage how it might be an option for our pup...

DH and I both are 5th generation dog lovers/owners, but honestly, his family treats the pups in their world much more like people than we ever did. Not that we wouldn't make sure our dogs were comfy and taken care of, but there was always a limit if there was an issue. With DH there isn't. Its one of those financial things that non-negotiable in his mind(beyond trying to strike up a deal with the vet a bit). Mine is being a SAHM right now...so I guess we're even .

We were just shaking our heads last night about the timing of it all. This dog has been moping around ever since we had DS, despite another dog around, daily walks and lots of love. I think its his way of asserting his place as "first born." Little stinker!

S, mama to boy M(6/07) and baby girl R(7/10). We do all the good natural family living stuff!
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#10 of 11 Old 06-02-2010, 02:09 PM
 
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mama Hope you and ds are feeling better.

mama to 4 kiddos, wife to one awesome man!  DH of 13yrs, DS 5/01,dd 5/05, DS 3/08, DS 6/10
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#11 of 11 Old 06-02-2010, 07:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, neldabean!

Today is better. Saw midwives this morning. Got a great pep talk. I go in on Friday for an ultrasound to confirm baby's position. Neither of them were certain, but thought that maybe she had turned...

DH and I are good. Vet called today with estimate on surgery. $2200-3000. Eeek!! But she was still working on it and wants to sit down with us and go over it all. I just have to breathe through it...I keep hearing of more and more people who opted out of the surgery. I wish, wish, wish I could convince DH, but there is no way. Supposedly this is "different" and "it will hurt him to live with it." I think its a battle I have to let go...

Anyway, its just another thing to deal with. DH reminded me of how it went before. We drop him off, pick him up and then keep him confined and drugged. shouldn't affect the birth too much. And we have friends that can help.

DS is all better today. I even got him to take a NAP. Which is unheard of...

Hope all of you are well and am really loving seeing all the babes being born! Its nice being at the end of the month so I can be inspired these last few weeks by the stories!

S, mama to boy M(6/07) and baby girl R(7/10). We do all the good natural family living stuff!
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