Doing everything halfway... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 07-19-2010, 05:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone else feel like that?

Not so much with baby-DS, as he really needs me, but with everything else. DD is 7, she's pretty independent, but I feel so neglectful! She spends so much time back and forth between the computer and the TV these days. I TRY to squeeze in quality time... but when she's occupied and happy, do I disturb her or do the dishes?

And then there is the housework... sigh. I'm just not the type to let the house GO...

My ILs arrive Thursday! They are staying in a hotel (they all wouldn't fit here anyway), so its not really too stressful, and they are super easy... but still...

Baby-DS isn't a great sleeper, it takes a lot of time and effort to get him to take some quality naps, which he really needs. Add to that I work at home...

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed here!!! Anyone else????

Lis ~ Married to my favorite boy partners.gif and raising "our" three ~
DS 14 (hisjammin.gif ~ DD 9 (mineloveeyes.gif ~ toddlerDS 2! (ours) bouncy.gif

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#2 of 12 Old 07-19-2010, 07:29 PM
 
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I'm a little frustrated myself. I'm still getting used to motherhood. My DD wants to be held constantly. I don't really mind that...she is just a baby. What I do mind is not being able to cook or clean. I admire those of you who have other children. How in the world do you do it? We have had so many guests over (uninvited) to see the baby, and the house is in shambles.

Catholic, SAHM, Married 6 yrs. , Miscarried Sept. '08 April '09 & Jan. '14, DD is 4, DS is 2-we had a wonderful , EDD early Jan, 2015! I'm also a first time foster mom to two unrelated girls. 
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#3 of 12 Old 07-19-2010, 08:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by texasfarmom View Post
I'm a little frustrated myself. I'm still getting used to motherhood. My DD wants to be held constantly. I don't really mind that...she is just a baby. What I do mind is not being able to cook or clean. I admire those of you who have other children. How in the world do you do it?
Older children can help.They can help clean, cook and hold the baby.
It is easier for me to have 9 (when it comes to housework) than it was for me to have 4.

Still, I have too much going on and none of it is being done well.

Karen, homeschooling Catholic mom to 8. #9 due 6/10
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#4 of 12 Old 07-19-2010, 08:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by texasfarmom View Post
I'm a little frustrated myself. I'm still getting used to motherhood. My DD wants to be held constantly. I don't really mind that...she is just a baby. What I do mind is not being able to cook or clean. I admire those of you who have other children. How in the world do you do it? We have had so many guests over (uninvited) to see the baby, and the house is in shambles.
Ditto that, except I invite people over in spite of the mess. No one cares, so I've learned not to, though I do what I can and I hired a friend to come clean once a week. Karina lately is nursing every hour and wants to be with me constantly (which I admit, I'm really enjoying).

This phase won't last forever, but I do admire moms of more than one child. How do you do it?

Living happily and embracing adventures.
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#5 of 12 Old 07-19-2010, 11:37 PM
 
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Babywearing saves me all.the.time. Find one or multiple ones you like and it will feel like you suddenly have wings! DD is a great sling nurser. nak

S, mama to boy M(6/07) and baby girl R(7/10). We do all the good natural family living stuff!
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#6 of 12 Old 07-21-2010, 10:04 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mediumcrunch View Post
It is easier for me to have 9 (when it comes to housework) than it was for me to have 4.

Still, I have too much going on and none of it is being done well.
OK, this made me laugh so hard ... dude you are superwoman. I can barely manage two kids!


Lisko; I totally could have written your post! (We have a ton in common - I also have an older DD and WAH.)

I can't stand the laundry piled up, the dishes stacked to the ceiling. DH is pitching in a TON around the house but most times I'm passing off the baby to him so I can get some sleep. Half way? I feel good if things are done 1/4 of the way. I'm trying soooo hard to let it go but the OCD Type A freak in me is really hating it.

My DD, like yours, is 6 1/2 and it's TV-computer all day too. I've pretty much got playdates booked most days but if not, forget it.

I felt so freakin' accomplished taking both kids to Target the other day. Sad, very very sad.

And don't get me started on the fact that I have exactly 2 skirts I can wear post partum and all my shirts and nursing bras are covered in urp and milk.

Me (40) DH (49) daring DD (9) and darling DS - almost THREE! (born June 25, 2010 in an amazing, unplanned homebirth.jpg

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#7 of 12 Old 07-23-2010, 10:59 PM
 
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Uh, I hire a cleaning service, pawn off my DS1 on anyone who will play with him, and let go of what I can't change and isn't going to kill anyone yet. And babywearing lets me get SOMETHING done occasionally.

Mama to Nov '08 and June '10
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#8 of 12 Old 07-25-2010, 09:35 AM
 
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I'm right there with you. After I get DS1 to bed and baby DS2 down for a few hours. Thats when I start my housework. usually around 8pm which really stinks cause I'm exhausted by then. Add to the mix that we're moving and I am really in over my head. I wear DS2 sometimes but it's so hot right now and sometimes I just really want my own space....

Wifey to my DH 9/2005 and always busy SAHM  to my beautiful boys  twins.gif   Elijah 12/2008 and Caeleb 6/2010
Our baby girl  stork-girl.gif is arriving October 2012!!!

 

 

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#9 of 12 Old 07-25-2010, 11:39 AM
 
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I am truly in awe of all of you mamas taking care of your little ones and older children. I only have the one and most days, it's all I can do to keep us both clean and fed. If I manage to do anything else, cook, throw in a load of laundry, go for a walk, I feel like I've accomplished something major. I say kudos to all of us, whether we're doing things all the way, halfway or one sixteenth of the way... Our houses maybe messy but our babes are thriving!

Working mama to a wonderful baby girl. Married to a really sweet guy. Just trying to do my best.
     
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#10 of 12 Old 07-26-2010, 02:00 AM
 
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I don't stay in the house. If i'm out and about, then the house isn't getting messy. I do dishes and a load of laundry first thing, then hop in the shower. Of course, all around DS's schedule, so we usually can't leave the house til at least 11 am. So my older 2 are watching tv, playing or reading. My saving grace has been my huge tub of activities that i put together for the birth. Well, my birth was super short . . . so we have loads of left over stuff. Stuff i can grab one handed lol. Painting, crafts, new books, games, ect. It keeps them busy and i can direct them 1 handed, since ds is ALWAYS in arms.

Otherwise, i try to not feel guilty. I'm trying to remind myself that my older girls are learning a lot through this. They are learning about how to care for a child. They are learning how to play without me directing 24/7. They learned exactly what a vagina and cervix looks like because i had to take them to my 6 week post partum check with my midwives, and bless their hearts when the girls pushed up to see what was happening between mommy's legs for her pap, the midwives explained everything. What 6 year old has that knowledge??

So that's how i'm getting through. I'm reminding myself that they ARE learning right now and enjoying it (even telling my mom about what a vagina looks like much to her old fashioned dismay lol). Loads of things that they wouldn't be if i were not forced to slow down. They are learning nurturing of others and of one's self.

And as i said, we leave the house. We go to the park, the library, shopping. Anything to keep them active and happy and then my house isn't so messy when we get home at night. And they don't mind the stops I have to make to nurse or change ds. Overall, going from 2 to 3 was MUCH easier than going from 1 to 2!

Loving mom to 2energy.gif ,1jammin.gif , & 1dog2.gif . Surrodaughter 4/09
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#11 of 12 Old 08-05-2010, 04:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the responses... its good to know that the majority of us feel a little overwhelmed these days.

Some days are really good, and some days are just terrible. Today is turning out pretty good, I don't have any work to do at home, so we managed to get to the library and the post office and Caleb is on GOOD nap #2, which means I've actually accomplished a lot of laundry and a bit of cleaning.

SLEEP seems to be my biggest effort these days. Getting the baby to take GOOD naps. He will cat nap all day long, but if that's all he gets - beware by evening time. Its ugly, ugly, ugly. DD always fell asleep at the breast, but Caleb rarely does.

whozeyermamma - We do have an awful lot in common. How are you doing with the WAH? It really can be tricky to do with an infant. I hope your DS is getting a bit easier... I read your post about him fighting sleep. My Caleb can do the same. He'll be just about asleep and I'll think, "oh, I'll lay him down so I can fold some laundry", and those cute little eyes will pop right open! Its like he knows he'll be missing out on something.

As for wearing him... he will go in the Moby, sometimes. He only likes it in a certain position (sort of sideways with his feet out), so I'm not really hands-free and he really only likes it once he's asleep. On top of that its been 90 most days around here... and well, there's nothing worse than a sweaty nursing bra, a sweaty shirt and a sweaty Moby. My nursing pads never stay in place when he sleeps in there... so I end up wet and sticky. I do smell like spoiled milk most days lately.

I am getting DD to help with one thing... she'll sit next to him in his bouncy seat and talk/play so I can shower if I want. So that's one less thing I NEED to do while he's sleeping.

Maybe we can keep our halfway thread going... it will be a good venting place for those days where we don't even have time to pee.

He is smiling these days though - and trying so hard to "talk". It does make those fussy evening times worth it...

Lis ~ Married to my favorite boy partners.gif and raising "our" three ~
DS 14 (hisjammin.gif ~ DD 9 (mineloveeyes.gif ~ toddlerDS 2! (ours) bouncy.gif

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#12 of 12 Old 08-08-2010, 03:20 AM
 
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For every good day i have, seems like a bad day is waiting around the corner. I'm realizing that it takes me a good hour and a half to get out of the house. Ds seems to start screaming the minute i want to jump in the shower, so i scoop him up and tend to his needs! Or he wants to be fed, just as i'm putting him in his carseat, so i have to stop and feed him.

I'm starting to get anxious, school starts in 4 days and I am NOT a morning person, add to that we were previously a homeschooling family, so no urge or need to get out of the house early. And now my dd#2 starts kgarten at 8 am! and then dd#2 starts 2nd at 9 am! Yikes, im a bit weary and starting to worry!

and i agree, those smiles and their trying to talk, oh my goodness. It is so amazing and engaging! LOVE IT!

Loving mom to 2energy.gif ,1jammin.gif , & 1dog2.gif . Surrodaughter 4/09
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