So if you have other Children and limited bedrooms what are you doing??... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 01:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just started thinking about this today! we live in a 2100 sq foot house but the upstairs only has 3 bedrooms... small ones... My DD will be 6 when this baby is born, my DS will be 3.5. They play together all the time but Not too sure if I want them to share a room???
I know baby will be with me for at least 5 months or until needed but if we have a son I guess my 2 boys could share a room?? But if Its a DD not too sure about a 6 yr age difference sharing a room?? Does that make any sense?

Im hoping it will only be for a few yrs and that we will either move or add on Its just not possible for some time


so whats the sleeping situation in your home or what will it be with other siblings???

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Its a GIRL! Alyssa Ann 6/29/10 7lbs 5 oz
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#2 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 01:40 AM
 
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Growing up we had 7 kids in a 3 bedroom house. We had six girls and a baby boy, so our bedrooms were split by older kids in one room, little kids in the other.

My dh was the eldest of 9 children in a three bedroom house. (He'd moved out right before the 9th was born). They converted the garage to a bedroom to make 4 bedrooms.

We'll probably do boys in one room, girls in another, regardless of age. Currently we are in a 2 bedroom apartment and pregnant with our third child. If we have a fourth we are definitely moving into a 3 bedroom.
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#3 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 01:49 AM
 
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I think of this all the time and it was actually the first thing my DD asked me after we told her about the baby ("where will it sleep?").

We have a 2 bedroom place. Mom and dad in 1 room that fits a king size bed, and 2 kids in the other very small room that currently fits two Ikea children's beds.

We will co-sleep with new baby in our large bed for at least first 18 months. If new baby is ready for night weaning (my son was at that age), then we will get a bunk bed for two older kids and put new kid in one of the Ikea beds. It'll work and it is not forever.

However, we hope to move by then. And we face the same issue as you. Our oldest is a girl who will be nearly 6 years older than new sibling. If new baby is a girl, that may be too large of a distance from DD. A baby boy would go fine with our son.

In the long run, I want a 4 bedroom place unless the new one is a boy and then we can have the two boys share a large room in a 3 bedroom place. I'm think of the teen years here.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. We may have to move to a 3 bedroom next. I can imagine all the kids sharing a bedroom and having the second room be their playroom for a while. I was very careful about telling my daughter that they would get a bunk bed and if we moved, they could decide where to sleep. Right now, they enjoy sharing a room, so I don't want them to get stressed that a new baby means moving and then having separate rooms. But of course they may want that by then. But they might not. So I've been thinking of this as being a very flexible thing that will respond to how people feel and what their needs are. And we can't know that until the time comes. I know we'll need more space, but how that space is used is TBD.

Just a note that I am 5 years younger than my sister and we shared a room when I was 5 and she was 10 just because we wanted to (I moved out of my own room and into hers). It lasted for a couple of years.

BTW my DD is so excited about the bunk beds that will eventually come her way and for the time being can't imagine a room without her brother in it.

Mum to DD (5), DS (3), and Baby #3 due in July. Sharing this adventure with DH .
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#4 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 01:55 AM
 
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Just have to add that my mom went to high school with a family of 6 that lived in a 2 bedroom where the 4 siblings shared 1 room (both boys and girls together). We've talked about how we could move 3 kids into our larger room if we had to and then my husband and I can get a smaller queen bed and move to the small room. It could work and wouldn't kill us if we had to live here longer than we hope.

Mum to DD (5), DS (3), and Baby #3 due in July. Sharing this adventure with DH .
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#5 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 02:24 AM
 
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I'm enjoying this thread and reading about what others have done over time, or plan to be doing.

We are having the two girls share a room... dd2 just fell asleep in her big girl bed tonight! It's a step towards moving dd1 in to her as I try to nightwean. There's a 2.5 yr difference between them though.

I shared a room with both my brother and sister at different times as we were growing up. There's 1.5 yrs bw my brother and I, and 4 yrs bw my sister and I. No problems.

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#6 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 02:46 AM
 
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We just bought and moved into a 2br house. DS (21.5 mo) has shared a room with us until now (he's actually still in our room until we finish remodeling his room), so I anticipate that baby will be with us for 18 months or longer as well. If it's a boy, no issues with room sharing. If it's a girl, I don't think it will be a problem for them to share a room while they're young. This is a starter home and we don't plan to be here more than 3-5 years, so hopefully we'll be in a bigger home by the time it would become an issue. If we're not, though, we have talked about adding to the house.

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#7 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 02:48 AM
 
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We're also concerned about this . . . We have a 2 bedroom house and DD. Both bedrooms are on the main level. We also have a finished basement, which is where our bedroom currently is. DD's current room is a giant walk-in closet off of this room--it worked awesome when she transitioned from being in our room b/c she was so close for night feedings and then for comforting and no need for monitors. But, there's no way we can stash the baby in there with her--it fits her crib and a rocking chair and that's it. Plus, it's not soundproof by any means, and the baby in our room would probably wake her up--she's a very sensitive sleeper who demanded her own space very early on. What we will probably do is ALL move upstairs--DH and I in one bedroom (currently the guest room) and DD in the other (currently my office). Baby will room with DH and I for first 6 months or so and then move to share with her regardless of gender (3 year gap). We need to do this WELL before the new baby comes though, and I'm not sure that will happen. I'm worried b/c DD has always been a sensitive sleeper, and I think she might not share a room well even once the baby is older. I also don't want an arrangement that has her on a different floor from the rest of us though. What may end up happening in the short term is that the new baby and I will share the guest room and DH will sleep in our room downstairs with DD in her little room so that they both get the maximum amount of sleep during the week, and then DH taking the baby on the weekends (bringing to me to nurse).

We have no plans to move, so we will just have to figure a way to make things work. I have no problems with kids of different genders sharing rooms up until the age that it makes them uncomfortable with it, but like I said I worry that sharing won't be practical if it keeps them both up all night. Sleep is at a premium. Other families with two level houses? What do you do?
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#8 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 02:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by CAmum View Post

Our oldest is a girl who will be nearly 6 years older than new sibling. If new baby is a girl, that may be too large of a distance from DD.

Just a note that I am 5 years younger than my sister and we shared a room when I was 5 and she was 10 just because we wanted to (I moved out of my own room and into hers).
My sister and I are 10.5 years apart and shared a room from the time I was 2 months old until I was 7 when she went away to college. She couldn't wait to have me in her room and I always loved sharing a room with my big sister.

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#9 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 11:26 AM
 
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Wow, lots of us are in the same boat. I'm another w/ third on the way DS5 and DD3 in 3 bedroom house. Our DD still floats between her room, twin mattress on floor of our room and our bed and sometimes sleeps in all three within a night.
Baby will probably sleep in our bed for first year, then our room on mattress for 2nd year and then share room w/ someone for next couple years. Probably younger two will share regardless of boy or girl. It when the kids hit maybe 12,10,7 that we'll think about converting attic to bedroom. I (who never shared a room w/ sibling) think -let them share- hubby who has 5 brothers and 1 sister and definitely shared wants a separate room for each. Time will tell, but that decision is at least 5 years away.
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#10 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 02:02 PM
 
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I was forced to share a room with my sister - we each had our own rooms, but she wanted to sleep in my room. She was afraid to be alone, so my mom made me room with her. We are 5 years apart. I resented her for a LONG time. I was a teenager by the time she went to her own room.

I know this is not the popular answer, but I feel the amount of children should stop when you are unable to provide ample space for them. Three or so children in one room is a little much for me. Maybe if they are young and close in age and there are plans to expand the home or move, it would be different. My need to have children doesn't come before what I can provide for the children I already have. Kids, older than elementary school aged, are people, too, and need their space and privacy. On one had the argument is it "forces" (a word that really bothers me) them to co-exist and learn to share, etc. I don't think making them room is the only way to instill those qualities. Good parenting would work just as well. Siblings don't have to be best friends, and in my situation, being made to room with my sister only made me hate her all the more. It wasn't until I was in my 20s that I started to take to her. I'm not trying to offend anyone, obviously it worked well for many of you growing up. This is just what happened in my personal experience and made me feel the way I do about it.

We presently have 3 bedrooms and one child. The baby will co-sleep with us for at around a year - 18 months, then have his own room. We plan to move from this house before the baby is born and we will be looking for a 4 bedroom. I would like something with a finished basement that we could turn into bedrooms.
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#11 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 02:17 PM
 
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Well we're in a three bedroom rental house right now. My oldest two have shared a room since Colton was 9 months or so. They will IMO always share a room. My youngest has his own room but mostly because he still isn't solidly sleeping through the night. This baby will room with us for anywhere from 6 - 9 months and then move in with Sawyer OR Sawyer will move in with his brothers and baby will move in alone if he/she isn't sleeping through the night yet. From about 6 mo to 9 mo Colton slept in the pnp in the living room at night. Whatever works. Honestly if someone had to share a room with the baby I would put my oldest with him/her because he'll sleep through anything so I wouldn't worry about him waking if the baby isn't sleeping through the night.
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#12 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 02:18 PM
 
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We've got a 2 bedroom house. Right now the boys share a regular sized mattress on the floor in one bedroom (well, the 2yo comes to climb in bed with us at about 2am to nurse, but they go to sleep together). When the baby comes we'll cosleep for a while so it probably won't be an issue for another year or so, but the crib still fits in the boys' room, so we'll probably just transition to that until the LO is old enough to sleep in its own bed. We've been thinking about getting a twin over full bunkbed, so that would probably work with the eldest on top and the younger two on the full below. We'll have to cross that bridge when we get there I guess! Plus I'm kinda doubting we'll still be in this house by the time that happens...we're planning to move to New Zealand for a year next Christmas or so, and after that we'll probably build our forever house, but I have no qualms about kids sharing rooms, even boys and girls, if they are young.

We also conserve space in the bedrooms by not having any toys in there...it's just the bed, the crib, and the chest-of-drawers. The toys are all in the dining room or the playroom (which is a little 10x6 "office").

Vallere: Blessed Wife, Doula, Homeschool Mom to Ian Gray(11/20/05), Zollie Isaac(10/14/07), Anna Zophia (8/14/09):, and a GIRL coming June 2010!
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#13 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 03:49 PM
 
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I have been VERY stressed about this. We have a three bedroom house and two kids. DD is 13, there is no way I'd make her share her room with a baby (she definitely doesn't want to). DS will be almost 4 when this one is born, and his room is big enough to share but I'm very worried about how well he'll sleep with the baby in his room. The plan is to have the baby in our room in the co-sleeper or pnp for 6 months, then move baby into DS's room. Except DS was totally impossible to sleep with, and he hated the cosleeper and loved his crib, so he slept in his own room from the time he was about 3 weeks old.

I'm worrying myself to pieces trying to figure out what to do if this baby is awful to sleep with, I can't imagine being forced to have the baby in my room if it is as difficult as Dillon was, I'll never get any sleep He was a VERY light sleeper so every time I rolled over he woke up and started crying. He wasn't even in the bed with me! And I don't think having baby in Dillon's room from the start is a great idea, although I guess he'll get used to the night wakings and will start to sleep through them eventually.

I want to move, but that's really not a good idea for us right now.

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#14 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 04:01 PM
 
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We have a 3 bedroom house. Right now all three kids are in one room. We got a bunk bed and put it in the girl's room. Ds sleeps on the bottom bunk, Dd1 on the top (in theory, she sleeps on the bottom with Ds). Dd2 sleeps in the crib on the other side of the room. The other bedroom that is technically Ds's room is now a playroom/office. I'm hoping this baby is a boy so we can just get a 2nd bunk bed. 2 girls in one room and 2 boys in the other. But that would be a perfect world. lol
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#15 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 05:30 PM
 
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Wow.. I may be a little hormonal but I have tried to walk away from this for an hour...

Quote:
Originally Posted by tcooper View Post
I was forced to share a room with my sister - we each had our own rooms, but she wanted to sleep in my room. She was afraid to be alone, so my mom made me room with her. We are 5 years apart. I resented her for a LONG time. I was a teenager by the time she went to her own room.

I know this is not the popular answer, but I feel the amount of children should stop when you are unable to provide ample space for them. Three or so children in one room is a little much for me. Maybe if they are young and close in age and there are plans to expand the home or move, it would be different. My need to have children doesn't come before what I can provide for the children I already have.
I am really sorry you were forced to share a room with your sister and resented her, that is really really sad. However, I do not know why you felt the need to express how you feel about it on this thread. The title is So if you have other Children and limited bedrooms what are you doing?? not Do you think multiple children should share rooms? My brother and I shared rooms until I was 13 because I was afraid to sleep alone (and I still am). I am so appreciative to him because it never was an issue with him and I did have my own room too. 12+ years later we still laugh about how we would stay up all night laughing and then getting in trouble. It was great bonding experience for us and because of this I want the same for my children. I have a friend who has a 4 bedroom house and just had her 10th baby. I have never once though she could not provide for her kids because the children share a room. IMHO having ample space isn't a requirement for adding another person to your family to love. I have never once thought "OMG, I can't provide for this baby because s/he will have to share a room with its siblings!" And me having this baby has NOTHING to do with my need of having more children or putting my DS and DD's needs behind anything. This baby was a big oops at this time but would have been planned a year or two down the road. I am pretty sure we would still be living in this home considering we just bought it 2 years ago. Also, I am pretty sure we will be having another child before we increase our home size.

Obviously, we are having baby number 3 and we have a 3 bedroom house (and not a large one at that.) Our plan of attack... we don't have one! We are all happy and love each other and I know it will work out. I made DD a beautiful nursery that she never used. She is now 21 months and is still sleeping with us. Heck, DS (5 years old) still does at times. I have mentioned to DH about turning our room into a huge sleeping room because it ends up being the crashing pad anyhow. Anyway, when the kiddies do grow up and want to sleep alone (or away from us) we will divide up accordingly. Put the youngest together until they get older then we will separate into gender, although I am not concerned about it. If a the kids are happy where they are at, I'm not moving them. There are many cultures who live in very close quarters and they are all happy well developed human beings. I don't think we all should be stressing half as much about this as we are! I promise, it will all work out.

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#16 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 05:34 PM
 
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disclaimer: i grew up alternating between sharing a room with my brother, who was 3 years younger and having my own room. i spent most of my childhood and all of my teenage years in my own room. i shared a room with my brother for about 2-3 years of that time.

my opinion may be a bit un-westerny, but i believe that small children don't need a whole room to themselves. i believe that sharing a sleep space teaches sharing, compassion, patience and familial love. i also believe that having an entire room to oneself from infancy onward creates a sense of entitlement, control issues and inability to interact with other humans on a personal level. ask me how i know. obviously not ALL children who have their own rooms are this way........but imo, the "typical" spoiled american child represents this attitude. us mdc'ers are little different.

in our 990 sq ft home we have 2 bedrooms. a small one that we all sleep in together, and a large one which is the play/computer/music room. every room is artfully arranged, stimulating (or calming for the bedroom) to the senses, and our family functions so well this way.

we are preparing to build a straw bale home in 2011, and although we will have a large home, it will have only 1 large bedroom, with a large courtyard surrounded satellite straw bale rooms. there will be 3 for the kids (we are planning on 5 kids total), 2 as studios for dh and i, 2 guest rooms and 1 sauna-like bathroom. we plan that the kids will still be sharing rooms even at that point, most likely. if the kids end up staying longer (into adulthood) we will definitely build extra straw bale rooms so they can have their own.

until the children are much bigger, we will continue to all sleep together in the "master" room (a 18x18' room which will have an 15 ft long closet for all of our clothing, until the children move to the satellite rooms), and have playtime outside and in the main part of our home. when the children are bigger (as in hitting puberty) and feel they need privacy, only then will we move them into their "satellite" straw bale rooms, which will be arranged around a central courtyard. the rooms will be small (10x12) and will be used mainly for sleep, belongings, quiet time, study time etc.,. we hope that by then after years of familial closeness, our children will crave to be with the rest of the family and will not seek constant solitude. but we shall cross that bridge when we get there.

eta: i posted this before reading chase-mommy's post.
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#17 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 06:59 PM
 
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ScarletBegonias, your strawhome plans sound amazing in every way!

I've lived in rural South America and almost everyone has a family bed/family room, or a big kids room and a parent/little kid room. They thought it was crazy that I had my own house and lived by myself. In fact, they worried about me!

My three brothers shared a room for most of their childhood and never seemed to care, nor discuss it now. I had my own room for most of my chidlhood, being the only girl and oldest. It seems a bit odd to me now that I had so much space.

We have a three bedroom home. My SIL lives in one, DDs in another and then our room. DD still comes in our bed every night. I'm getting less and less sleep these days, so we might need to work on that. We are thinking the July baby will sleep with us and then we will plan from there. Our third bedroom is on a different floor (currently SILs) and I'm not sure if we want to be separated from kids by a floor.

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#18 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 07:05 PM
 
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Quote:
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my opinion may be a bit un-westerny, but i believe that small children don't need a whole room to themselves. i believe that sharing a sleep space teaches sharing, compassion, patience and familial love. i also believe that having an entire room to oneself from infancy onward creates a sense of entitlement, control issues and inability to interact with other humans on a personal level. ask me how i know. obviously not ALL children who have their own rooms are this way........but imo, the "typical" spoiled american child represents this attitude. us mdc'ers are little different.
Ditto this! We always shared rooms as children, and we all loved it. It's so much fun. Sure, sometimes we would draw a line in the middle and demand that no one cross the line into our half of the room, but it was still fun to lie in our beds and chat at night. It actually taught us many lessons on sharing and kindness, and respecting others' things.

The straw bale house sounds interesting! I've never even heard of that. I do have one question though, if all of the littles are sleeping in the same room with mom and dad until puberty...um...how do I phrase this.... How do you get more littles? I mean, don't want to scar the kids.... (If this is too personal a question, you don't have to answer.)
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#19 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 09:42 PM
 
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ScarletBegonias, your strawhome plans sound amazing in every way!
thank you and what a totally awesome experience you had!!!

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. I do have one question though, if all of the littles are sleeping in the same room with mom and dad until puberty...um...how do I phrase this.... How do you get more littles? I mean, don't want to scar the kids.... (If this is too personal a question, you don't have to answer.)
no worries! well, to quote a friend, the bedroom isn't the only place for lovin' and nighttime isn't the only time!
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#20 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 11:01 PM
 
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It's a very American notion that children get their own rooms at all. The best sleeping arrangement we had was when we had three in one room: oldest ds was 6, dd was 3, and ds2 was a baby/toddler. We had a crib and two twins in there, wrapping around the walls of the room. They all slept well and loved being in there together. Another bedroom was a playroom so they could play whilst little brother was napping. When ds3 was born our boys shared a room and our daughter, then 6 1/2, had her own room. We set up baby's crib in there and he slept with her for the first 2 years, then we moved him in with the boys. Sometimes he cried when put to bed so there were some difficult nights with that. But now she says she wants the baby to sleep in her room b/c she's lonely. I think kids like to room-share. I think they sleep better not alone. I know lots of people who transition their toddlers from a crib or family bed right to a sibling's bed. My kids love to bunk together so occasionally we let them.

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#21 of 33 Old 12-31-2009, 11:39 PM
 
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We are lucky (in some ways) to have just inherited my dad's house which is 2500 sqft and 4 bedrooms. My dad was a packrat so there is a lot of cleaning that is being done before baby, but it is a good sized house with a lot of interesting space. My girls are 7 and 10 and have their own rooms right now and the last bedroom is a MIL suite on the other side of the house that is being converted from storage for our businesses into a studio for my guitarist DP and my older drummin' DD. The girls often share a bed and have no problem sharing the larger of their rooms, but I don't see this being an issue for a couple of years as the baby will be in our bedroom until 2 or so. We will cross that bridge when we come to it.

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#22 of 33 Old 01-01-2010, 03:33 AM
 
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I'm worrying myself to pieces trying to figure out what to do if this baby is awful to sleep with, I can't imagine being forced to have the baby in my room if it is as difficult as Dillon was, I'll never get any sleep He was a VERY light sleeper so every time I rolled over he woke up and started crying. He wasn't even in the bed with me! And I don't think having baby in Dillon's room from the start is a great idea, although I guess he'll get used to the night wakings and will start to sleep through them eventually.

I want to move, but that's really not a good idea for us right now.
DD was/is a very light sleeper. She needed her own space too. We converted our large, nice walk-in closet in our room to a space for her. It just holds her crib and small rocking chair, but it's enough space for her. A sound machine was also the best investment we made with her ($10 ) as it stopped the "a sound! a sound!" wakings. I know others with bad sleepers who have done a baby in a hallway, baby in the living room (a wheeled pack-n-play is awesome for this one, let them start the night in your dark room, then move them when the living room is dark and quiet). I also know a couple who moved themselves to the family room so that the baby kept their bedroom. It's not forever, which is what I keep telling myself as we work through what will work for us.
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#23 of 33 Old 01-01-2010, 03:45 AM
 
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my opinion may be a bit un-westerny, but i believe that small children don't need a whole room to themselves. i believe that sharing a sleep space teaches sharing, compassion, patience and familial love. i also believe that having an entire room to oneself from infancy onward creates a sense of entitlement, control issues and inability to interact with other humans on a personal level. ask me how i know. obviously not ALL children who have their own rooms are this way........but imo, the "typical" spoiled american child represents this attitude. us mdc'ers are little different.
Ditto this! I always envied my brothers (3 years apart) who shared a room from the time the little one was about a year and a half almost all the way through high school when my parents moved to a house with two small bedrooms for them and each got their own. They actually got really depressed for a while as they missed that time when they would talk and wind down. Growing up, I used to pretend that I had a sister to share with. When room sharing works, it is such a lovely thing. Of course, all kids are different, and some come into this world with certain space needs like one of the pp which make room sharing a burden. No one should be forced to make an untenable situation work for years and years. My parents have not shared a bedroom in over 25 years b/c my mother has very, very strong space needs. She roomed with various siblings (there were six of them) and while she has some pleasant memories, she apparently longed and longed for her own space, however small. My motto as a parent is "parent the child you have, not the child you wish you have." I really, really hope that our kids will be able to share for a long time, but if not, we'll deal with that too. I think one key is not have your child feel entitled to their own room or even own huge pile of toys (special ones are different)--a difference between need and want. Part of our reason for giving DD a sibling is to reinforce that sharing with others is a core value for us.
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#24 of 33 Old 01-01-2010, 03:55 AM
 
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I guess I don't see it as a big deal for boys and girls to share rooms up until puberty?

We plan on having the babe in our room for at least a year. DD does have her own room and may or may not share when the baby is older. She has said that she wants the baby to sleep with her! She's big into co-sleeping. She will be 7 years older than the little one.

I would have no problem with having one giant sleeping room, if we only had one bedroom. I don't mind sharing with dd and the new babe at all---I think it would be very bonding for her to have that closeness with the newborn and be there during the nights as well. I am thinking about encouraging her to "nest up" in our room while the babe is in a sidecar cosleeper for just this reason.

My girl is pretty possessive of her room. I wish she wasn't; it comes up with our roommates son, and I really don't like how she acts about it. That is for another thread, tho. I could see her becoming very resentful if she felt like she was forced to share with "a baby" and going thru an ornery phase. But I could see her also feeling important and special to get to sleep with her younger sib. So we'll play it by ear. I have a friend whose three share a room, the oldest being about the same age difference, and the tot always slept with her. It was like, a bonus to get to sleep with the baby, the older two would fight over it.

Another idea I've thought about is getting the bunk bed with bigger bed on bottom, with me and baby on bottom, and big sis on top bunk. I think that would be very feasible, and my oldest would feel really secure having her mommy and sib in the same room--so that's one way I've thought we could transition when the lo is ready to go out of the parent room.

My sis and I almost always room-shared, and often bed-shared up until she was a teenager. I don't ever remember disliking it---it's just the way things were, and I do think it made us be closer. At my gramma's it would often be all four girl cousins in one room, and those are some of my best memories of childhood--our age span was from 4yo to 12yo.

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#25 of 33 Old 01-01-2010, 04:05 AM
 
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We have a three bedroom bungalow house, with one very large bedroom up, and two small rooms down. Our upstairs room is THE bedroom, with a king, a queen, a twin and all four dressers. The two downstairs rooms are an office and a playroom. This was done because we don't feel comfortable with our children on the ground floor, alone and because both DC are still co-sleeping, at least part-time. We are TTC #3, and we figure we have at least one more year before DD, six in February, would like her own room/space.

We have a few thoughts-- moving us downstairs and making one big child-bedroom upstairs, separated with shelving units/curtains into individual spaces, making the two downstairs rooms back into kid bedrooms, one for boys, one for girls, and keeping the upstairs room the "master plus nursling" room, etc. We would love to move out of this house in the next few years, and in our ideal world, will buy a four bedroom two level, all up. We are in Michigan, in the land of upside mortgages, and homes that never sell, so we are trying to be at peace with the reality that our "starter home" might not be such a "starter" after all. We can't sell in the foreseeable future.

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#26 of 33 Old 01-01-2010, 06:39 PM
 
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Wow.. I may be a little hormonal but I have tried to walk away from this for an hour...



I am really sorry you were forced to share a room with your sister and resented her, that is really really sad. However, I do not know why you felt the need to express how you feel about it on this thread. The title is So if you have other Children and limited bedrooms what are you doing?? not Do you think multiple children should share rooms? My brother and I shared rooms until I was 13 because I was afraid to sleep alone (and I still am). I am so appreciative to him because it never was an issue with him and I did have my own room too. 12+ years later we still laugh about how we would stay up all night laughing and then getting in trouble. It was great bonding experience for us and because of this I want the same for my children. I have a friend who has a 4 bedroom house and just had her 10th baby. I have never once though she could not provide for her kids because the children share a room. IMHO having ample space isn't a requirement for adding another person to your family to love. I have never once thought "OMG, I can't provide for this baby because s/he will have to share a room with its siblings!" And me having this baby has NOTHING to do with my need of having more children or putting my DS and DD's needs behind anything. This baby was a big oops at this time but would have been planned a year or two down the road. I am pretty sure we would still be living in this home considering we just bought it 2 years ago. Also, I am pretty sure we will be having another child before we increase our home size.

Obviously, we are having baby number 3 and we have a 3 bedroom house (and not a large one at that.) Our plan of attack... we don't have one! We are all happy and love each other and I know it will work out. I made DD a beautiful nursery that she never used. She is now 21 months and is still sleeping with us. Heck, DS (5 years old) still does at times. I have mentioned to DH about turning our room into a huge sleeping room because it ends up being the crashing pad anyhow. Anyway, when the kiddies do grow up and want to sleep alone (or away from us) we will divide up accordingly. Put the youngest together until they get older then we will separate into gender, although I am not concerned about it. If a the kids are happy where they are at, I'm not moving them. There are many cultures who live in very close quarters and they are all happy well developed human beings. I don't think we all should be stressing half as much about this as we are! I promise, it will all work out.
I didn't want to offend anyone, but I did express what we are doing. I do want more children and we have limited space. I did put what we are doing to remedy the issue - moving to a larger home. I know "oops" happens, but we do our best, successfully, not to get pregnant. I also agree with the majority that small children can room together. I see no issues there. My ds still sleeps with us, at least partially, and he is almost 3. The new baby will also be with us.

I think the difference is, I think children (older children, puberty aged, as I also previously stated, should have a choice. They shouldn't be forced to room with a sibling if they don't want to. I am sure there are families who live like that (like your friend) who it works out for. My mother loved us greatly and was able to provide for us. Having more and more children and thinking love is all you need just isn't realistic sometimes. Although, just having "enough" room isn't either. I, personally, would not have 10 children split them between 3 bedrooms. I realize it does work for some. All I'm saying is that for ME, it doesn't work. We have to think about how the children feel, too.
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#27 of 33 Old 01-01-2010, 09:14 PM
 
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I'm DDC crashing. Until a month ago we all slept together, DD in our bed and DS in a toddler bed in our room. Now DS and DD share a twin bed in the bdrm right across from ours. We have a 3br 1600?sf house, but for now we prefer them to share and they prefer it too. They don't want to be alone. The new baby will be in our room for a year or more probably two. At that point, I don't know. The twin bed has a trundle under, so we may just pull out that and one of the kids will sleep there. We figure eventually we'll split up the boys/girls. Probably when DS hits puberty. fwiw I shared a room with my 2 years younger sister for most of my life with out a problem. it wasn't till i was 16+ that i wanted a room of my own. I do wonder how it'll go if this new baby is a boy, if say when they're 12, 10, and 7; how well will a 12yo and a 7yo share? Though if they've shared for 5+ years already maybe they'll just be happy to have a 'boys room'.


One thing that we need to figure out now is where to put the new babies clothes and diapers. DS and DD share a small 2 drawer dresser, and there's a shelf with bins for the pj's and night diapers. There's another shelf in their room with four baskets (that I used to keep diapers in), I'm not sure it's enough space to hold baby diapers AND baby clothes. Maybe we need to replace that small dresser with a larger dresser.

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#28 of 33 Old 01-02-2010, 02:40 PM
 
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DD was/is a very light sleeper. She needed her own space too. We converted our large, nice walk-in closet in our room to a space for her. It just holds her crib and small rocking chair, but it's enough space for her. A sound machine was also the best investment we made with her ($10 ) as it stopped the "a sound! a sound!" wakings. I know others with bad sleepers who have done a baby in a hallway, baby in the living room (a wheeled pack-n-play is awesome for this one, let them start the night in your dark room, then move them when the living room is dark and quiet). I also know a couple who moved themselves to the family room so that the baby kept their bedroom. It's not forever, which is what I keep telling myself as we work through what will work for us.
Thank you I never thought of a white noise machine, that would be a great idea if this one is a light sleeper! We don't have a walk in closet, but I have considered a pack and play in the living room if we need to.

Hopefully it isn't an issue. DD was in my room when she was tiny and it was just fine, it's just DS that had to be difficult, LOL. I really think it's because I had discovered MDC with him so I was POSITIVE I was going to cosleep and be the perfect AP parent...he had a different plan, and his plan won

Mom to Liz (14) and Dillon (3) and Mitchell FINALLY born 7/11/10!
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#29 of 33 Old 01-02-2010, 04:25 PM
 
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Ok, here's my huge ramble on the subject. Sorry for the length.
We're in the middle of the "room exchange" process. My appartment has 2 bedrooms and my dd originally had the larger room where I put my 3 meter long armoire (Germans don't have built in closets) and the rest of the space was her bedroom/playroom. My room was then the smaller children's bedroom which I converted into a bedroom/home office by using a couch bed instead of a regular bed. Soooooo as of today we're moving the rooms around and won't be done until next weekend because we're waiting for dd's new shelf unit and desk. And we bought a new bed and matress, but they won't arrive until the middle of March. Good grief. So DP is picking up his bed which we'll use in the interim since dd is getting the couch bed. It's been a really stressful day for me. I knew we needed to switch rooms so that we'd have space for the baby in the bigger bedroom with us. But that doesn't mean I like having to take apart my shelving unit, pack all my stuff in assorted boxes and not be able to find anything for days on end. DP wanted to start yesterday but I'm just not THAT spontaneous. It kind of pissed him off, as if I was putting it off. I just need time to adjust and plan things like this. I'm not into chaos like he is and split-second decisions. So this afternoon right before we got started we took a good look at my shelving unit, and he was actually grinning which put me in a really foul mood. I said something along the lines of me not finding anything worth smiling about and that this is pure stress for me. I just don't think he really got it until later when we got the main frame set up in our new room and we just needed to get the shelves back in. I got so aggreived with a shelf that wouldn't fit right that I actually broke it in my frustration. But I think the worst is over. And the best part? I put dd's old furniture in ebay yesterday and they sold right away. Tomorrow they'll come by to pick the stuff up. Yeah, less junk.

ETA: my dd didn't have a room of her own until she was 4 and we finally moved into a larger apparment.

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#30 of 33 Old 01-02-2010, 04:30 PM
 
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Very interested thread.

DD is 2yrs7months old and sleeps in a toddler bed between our king bed and the wall, beside me. She still nurses to sleep but has nightweaned over the last weeks (my supply is gone now). Until just before her 2nd birthday she shared a bed with DH and I.

We have a 2 bedroom, small rental duplex. The second bedroom is a playroom/kids clothes and stuff room. DD will stay in our room in her own bed and the new baby will sleep in our bed.
We will move to a bigger place in 3-4 years and the kiddos will share a room then as long as they are both ok with it.

I love the idea of one large communal bedroom for sleeping, as long as there are spaces throughout the house and yard where each individual can have privacy when they need it.

My brother and i shared a room until i asked for my own room. At that point my parents gave up their bedroom for me and put a room divider across the open floor plan/living room of our house and used that for their bedroom. I was 11 or 12.

Mom to Lizzy born May 2007 & expecting Baby#2 June/July 2010
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