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Weekly Chat Thread Jan 24-30

1K views 47 replies 21 participants last post by  mataji4 
#1 ·
It's 11:30 p.m. where I'm at now but I thought I'd start the thread....

Goodnight, sleep tight! :
 
#2 ·
I think I felt movement yesterday. It seems so hard to say since we seem to be having digestive issues lately, but I'm pretty sure that was our baby!
Otherwise, I'm still due to have a talk to DP. I saw my therapist yesterday and she gave me some advice. I wanted to talk to him yesterday, but by afternoon when we were finally alone, guess who fell asleep for a 3 hour nap??? Yup me because DP couldn't keep his hand off of my all night and forced me to get up early just so that he'd leave me alone. On the up side, we actually had sex this morning so maybe he won't feel completely horrid when I chat him up later.
 
#3 ·
Sorry you're struggling with an octopus in your bed, Terrilein! Hope you get to have that chat with DP soon.
DH isn't getting as much as he would like, once a week really. It's good quality lovin' though
and I'm much happier with our marriage when we're physically intimate even though I sometimes reject his advances.
He always reminds me that I'll be glad I did and I always am.


TMI?! Moving on....

DH had to leave at 2am today...on a flipping Sunday..to get to the office in California by 6.30am Monday. Poor guy. 20 hrs travelling. We don't know how long he'll be gone. A week or two.
Right opposite his office though is a Whole Foods and a huge Target.
Boy, did I give him a shopping list! He put a huge holdall bag inside his suitcase. All those goodies we can't get here like whole grain crackers with no hfcs and Kashi cereal (x 10 boxes!) and unsweetened apple sauce in individual pots (yes, I know I could make my own!).
I'd love to be a fly on the wall in Target when he's searching for maternity leggings and stuff for me. He'll hate it if he has to ask for help!


Lloyd and I made yummy banana muffins this morning.
While they were cooking, I made him a sandwich for lunch with carrot sticks, apple slices and hummus on the side. He totally ignored the sandwich and devoured the carrots first. A proud Mama moment!
Although I'm hoping to fatten him up a little so I wish he'd scoffed some sandwich too.
He is really tall and skinny and obviously lost a little weight when he was sick last week. He eats full fat dairy, eggs, fruit and veg, loves protein but isn't a huge carb fan apart from pasta. Too much of which constipates him.
Any advice?

Now I'm being a naughty Mama for 30 mins and drinking my yummy Yogi Mother-to-be tea with a muffin and DS is watching his Dora and Diego DVD.
Everything in moderation......
 
#4 ·
Ugh, hate those long flights. It reminds me of visiting family in US with dd while she was still in diapers for Thanksgiving. Despite having 3 hours layover there was so much security that we just barely made our connecting flight. That means I didn't get to change her diaper as I had planned. We had to wait until we were up in the air for that. And of course her diaper didn't hold up . . .

As for your ds being on the skinny side, I wouldn't really worry. Mine is tall and skinny, too. It's just the way she's built and is obviously genetic. She was even a super skinny baby - bottom 3% in weight, but top 5% in "height". The ped just took one look at her father and me and said, no wonder. I was really worried he was going to demand that I supplement, but he didn't. Smart ped!
 
#5 ·
Between visiting relatives, crazy work hours, business trips, and my orchestra concerts, the last 4 weeks have been really crazy. I think today is my first day to sit down and relax a bit in quite some time! Lots of stuff needs doing around the house but I'm not sure I'm up for it.

I am just as tired as I was a few weeks ago, but I've been doing a lot more...I think that means my energy levels must be up?

Oh and in positive news, DH and I finally scheduled our honeymoon (about time, we eloped a bit over a year ago). I'll be in my 19th week, we're going to St Thomas for a week.
 
#6 ·
Ugh, I'm disproportionally pissy about my stepdaughter's Sunday School lesson this week.

I don't go to church/synagogue, but my husband takes his daughter to Unitarian Universalist services/school, at her request. That's fine, and if he wanted to take our new one, that would be fine too. We're planning to raise him/her knowing heritage and traditions, but without a particular dogma or theology--I'm agnostic-atheist (I have no way of knowing if there is a god, but I don't think it particularly matters), and he's more agnostic-spiritual (there's something out there, but what?). Neither of us have ever really been religious.

Anyhow. No objections to a UU education. Overall, the curriculum seems pretty good...

(WARNING: RANTY HYPOTHETICAL INFANT LOSS MENTIONED, MAY BE TRIGGERING.)

Well, their lesson today was about loss, and my stepdaughter talked about her fish and cat that have passed in the last year. All well and good and useful, but she came home with the idea that "if the baby dies before it's born, we won't have a baby. We'll have an angel instead."

Now, I am familiar with the book with a title like that (which is probably where she got the idea from--UU doesn't teach a particular view of what happens after someone dies, including an unborn baby), and I respect that many people hold that belief and even among those who don't it can be comforting to children experiencing a loss...but I just don't share that belief. If this baby dies, this baby will have died, and we won't have a baby. But we won't have an angel either. It will suck and we will grieve but I will not rationalize it with the baby went to be an angel or with God or with Jesus or I'll get to meet him/her in heaven. I do firmly believe that things happen for a reason, but sometimes that reason is "modern medicine can't solve everything," and other times, the reason is simply "the world isn't always kind or fair" or "s*** happens."

I guess I'm winding myself up for no good reason because if something does happen, I really really really don't want to hear about it theistically, least of all from people in my own house who I can't just nod at, thank for their sympathies, and walk away from.

(This pregnancy seems to have elevated my already prodigious ability to jump from Point A to Point B via Points L and Q.)

Grumble.
 
#7 ·
Welsh........I had a funny imagine in my head of your dh trying to find maternity leggings at Target! Got a little chuckle out of it because I can just imagine what my dh would come home with!

I'm new here and I love that you guys have weekly chats! I'm not having a great day at all......dh was home with us for the last week and I got quite used to extra sleep and help around the house. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow and I think I'll ask about my iron and B12 levels....I find I have absolutely no energy, even if I manage a good nights sleep. I was B12 deficient last pregnancy. DD is usually an awesome sleeper......7pm until 8am but was up last night at 1:30 and up for the day at 6am
We aren't morning people here! I'm running on about 4 hours sleep and not doing very well. On the bright side, I *think* (knock on wood) she's fallen asleep for a nap, that doesn't happen very often these days so I may be able to sneak one in as well. I'm having a little insomnia issue and napping during the day makes it worse so I'm torn. Anyway.....I should wrap up. Hope everyone else is having a great day.
 
#8 ·
I don't have much going on. I do have a client (my last one indefinitely) who is 40w5d. I think I am more anxious than she is as to when she will have the baby. Of course, I don't let her see it but I am just really hoping that it's not an over nighter. I am not sure how I will do it! I guess the adrenaline will kick in.

I have my 16 week dr. appt on Wednesday, three hours round trip on the train, it's always a blast (insert sarcasm here). I am going to talk to my doc about how having an anterior placenta will affect the EFM during my VBAC. I am not really opposed to continual EFM because of my inverted t scar but I don't want to get into the whole mess where we aren't getting a good reading because of my anterior placenta so he decides he wants to do an internal or that he wants me to lay in the bed. Not happening. The way I figure it is we will do the best we can with the external monitor and if we don't get good readings all the time then oh well. There are other signs of impending rupture and I'm not going to be medicated so we can also rely on that. And if my contractions get weaker that's a sign. Or bleeding or any of the other things that happen. I just don't want to get caught up in the EFM chain of interventions and I want him to know that now.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. It's Monday morning in Korea so we are already getting things going around here.
 
#9 ·
Gooooood morning! First the exciting news - I have not thrown up since last Tuesday! And I felt well enough yesterday to do yoga! I'm not saying the nausea is gone completely...but it's no longer the dominant force in my day. I still have to pay attention to what I eat, and start feeling woogy if I wait too long to eat. BUT - it's a HUGE improvement, and I'm even going to start exercising. Hmmm...and DH will be happy because he'll get to see a bit more of me, if you know what I mean
!

Welsh, i hope your DH is successful in his shopping mission! We don't have a Target up where I live (in the States), and I even get excited when I'm staying someplace that has one within walking distance!

Somegirl, enjoy your honeymoon! Sounds lovely.

Proto...you owe yourself some deep breaths. It sounds like you are going through a really rough stretch with your SD all-around.

Amynf - 3 hours round trip - yipes! Good luck. FWIW, I had an anterior placenta with my first pregnancy, and they had no problems at all with exterior monitoring. They did not do continuous, just checked periodically - but still had absolutely no trouble hearing my strong little babe in there.

Back to work for me! DD is at the sitter's this morning, which means that DH has a break to get some work done in his shop. I have a loooooong to-do list this morning, and am going to try to treat myself to some time on the elliptical. Yippeee!

Any other mamas keeping up an exercise routine?
 
#10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by slgt View Post

Proto...you owe yourself some deep breaths. It sounds like you are going through a really rough stretch with your SD all-around.
It's actually been pretty decent, objectively--the sleep regression has (for the time being) resolved--she comes in once a night for a quick hug, but has been very receptive to being quietly escorted back to her room, where she stays until a reasonable hour. Yeah, the "helplessness" is still getting to me, but I'm aware of it and working on it...I know plenty of pregnant women get easily frustrated with their older children, be they steps or natural kids (see, well, every DDC and the "I'm Pregnant" and "Parenting" and "Gentle Discipline" groups for examples
)...

I don't know...yesterday afternoon my stepdaughter dwelled on "angel babies," which simultaneously made me want to cry (since until this newbie is earthside, there is no guarantee s/he ever will be) and want to strangle the Sunday School teacher for suggesting it (even though I know the teacher did so to encourage questions and exploration rather than encourage a particular belief system). I know she's dwelling on angel babies because, well, babies in general are in the forefront right now--if I wasn't pregnant, she'd probably be dwelling on pet loss (she lost a great-grandparent more recently, but the pet loss was far harder on her) and it wouldn't be nearly as hard to deal with.

Do hormones moderate at all during pregnancy? I know they can get really bad PP (and, as depression of all kinds is rampant all over my family though I have no personal history, I know to watch for PPD) but do they even out for awhile?
 
#12 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by slgt View Post
Somegirl, enjoy your honeymoon! Sounds lovely.
Thanks slgt, we're really looking forward to it.


Quote:

Originally Posted by slgt View Post
Any other mamas keeping up an exercise routine?
I've been trying to, it seems like my energy levels might be starting to come back so that will help.

I typically walk (or jog if I'm up for it) 4 hilly miles a day (2 morning, 2 afternoon) with my dogs most days. When I have time and energy I also do some resistance exercises, and/or bicycling. I do karate class weekly, I'm now mostly teaching (they know no contact) but I get a pretty good workout just demonstrating moves.
 
#14 ·
ProtoLawyer;14976764 Well said:
Things like this, esp with a step-child, can be very challenging. My daughter believes in angels, and finds the idea very comforting. Her brother does not and they have lively and sometimes angry discussions/arguments about angels. While I would've perhaps been dismayed by your SD's experience with my first, I have found that it's okay for children to consider and experience ideology different from mine, if there's no harm done. My oldest son told me last year he only believed in Hindu Gods, because they were the only "real" Gods (I was like, "you mean the blue guys?" haha). When my kids come to me with ideas, I say "Some people do believe that." So yes, take a breathe and try to not get riled. She's just trying the idea on by talking about it, as it's new to her.
 
#15 ·
It's so nice to hear that some here are feeling the upswing!


This rash is penance surely for some past sins. Ugh.

ProtoLawyer and Childbirth Fanatic -- I'm in the hormonal moody dept too. Whadaya say we get a couple of crates of soggy tomatoes and pelt them at whoever is walking by that annoys us?
 
#16 ·
Hey Proto - I was thinking about your SD and the angels...my "belief" system at age 7 was nothing like it is today - but it was probably primarily aimed at trying to figure out ways to make sense of the world. She's processing a lot right now, and age 7, well, she is clearly trying to make sense of a lot of different fears. Abandonment, loss, combined with excitement, the unknown...does it help you at all to realize that she is still a sponge, and she's taking whatever inputs she can to try to make sense of her fears?

So this may not be the be-all and end-all for her, just a stepping stone along the way as she makes sense of this crazy world.
 
#18 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by chattyprincess View Post
surfacing...have you tried the weleda calendula cream yet? I cannot say enough about how great it is for rashes!
It is great! I use it on DS's face when it's a bit dry in the winter. We also have the Weather protection cream for going outside.
 
#19 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Surfacing View Post
This rash is penance surely for some past sins. Ugh.
awwwwww, poor mama! i can't believe you're still dealing with that rash!


i am still puke-a-tronic these days.

i am starting to feel really, really tired, too.

and i have been crying all.the.time.

ugh, i am so disgusted with myself for crying uncontrollably at the *lamest* stuff. what grown person cries about a dragon trying to eat a man?
um, dragons aren't even *real*! (well, i guess this is debatable, but that's another thread!)

on the upside though....i have been listening to clear fht's with my fetoscope. i am a little concerned that i may be gestating 2.......i found 4 different "hb's" today. one was my hb (i always check this for a reference), a slow placenta, a hb in the 130's and a hb in the 150's.
so i'm going to lay down later and try again and see what i find. i mentioned all this to dh, and he doesn't seem concerned about uc'ing 2 babies, so that's good!


i am looking forward to my 2-day midwifery skills lab in march. i will be offering up my belly for palpation, and that will be the closest thing to anyone fussing over pregnant-me i will have this entire pregnancy. it's going to be oh-so-nice!
 
#20 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by slgt View Post
Gooooood morning! First the exciting news - I have not thrown up since last Tuesday! And I felt well enough yesterday to do yoga! I'm not saying the nausea is gone completely...but it's no longer the dominant force in my day. I still have to pay attention to what I eat, and start feeling woogy if I wait too long to eat. BUT - it's a HUGE improvement, and I'm even going to start exercising. Hmmm...and DH will be happy because he'll get to see a bit more of me, if you know what I mean
!

Welsh, i hope your DH is successful in his shopping mission! We don't have a Target up where I live (in the States), and I even get excited when I'm staying someplace that has one within walking distance!

Somegirl, enjoy your honeymoon! Sounds lovely.

Proto...you owe yourself some deep breaths. It sounds like you are going through a really rough stretch with your SD all-around.

Amynf - 3 hours round trip - yipes! Good luck. FWIW, I had an anterior placenta with my first pregnancy, and they had no problems at all with exterior monitoring. They did not do continuous, just checked periodically - but still had absolutely no trouble hearing my strong little babe in there.

Back to work for me! DD is at the sitter's this morning, which means that DH has a break to get some work done in his shop. I have a loooooong to-do list this morning, and am going to try to treat myself to some time on the elliptical. Yippeee!

Any other mamas keeping up an exercise routine?
THANKYOU for that
I will be on continual monitoring since I am VBACing with an invert t scar in a hospital but my doc did say that I could take extended breaks going to the bathroom.
 
#21 ·
Having a lovely day today...(sarcasam..heavy sarcasm) I find everything everyone does and thier "reasoning" for doing it STOOPID! I mean everything.anyone.does.at.all. It is insane. I really need to get ahold of myself or maybe just go lock myself in a closet somewhere. *sigh* Yesterday was my birthday I hope this doesn't mean that this whole year is gonna be crummy.
 
#22 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletBegonias View Post
on the upside though....i have been listening to clear fht's with my fetoscope. i am a little concerned that i may be gestating 2.......i found 4 different "hb's" today. one was my hb (i always check this for a reference), a slow placenta, a hb in the 130's and a hb in the 150's.
so i'm going to lay down later and try again and see what i find.
that's interesting news!
How big is your fundus? Up to the belly button? Mine is up to the belly button and my SIL said she had a dream I had twins (I'm just 15 week approx.)
 
#23 ·
Mine is almost to my button and I'm just 14 weeks today, but 5th baby.

Spent all weekend visiting my friend and her 10 week old baby...he's tiny at only 10 1/2 pounds and so very sweet, starting to smile when you make silly faces at him. It was so nice to be around a baby. Babies just make a household feel good. Hoping mine brings some peace to our chaos!

Felt good in San Fran and once I got home I feel all pukey and yucky again. Is it emotional? Like my life is exhausting?? ugh.

And I STILL have this persistent yeast, yuck. I have tried all interesting alternative natural methods, but I won't stop eating fruit or pudding or yeasted breads b/c my diet is just too limited by nausea as is. I have to eat what I can! I'm very very frustrated and tired of feeling itchy- makes me so irritated!

I'm emotional and crying too. I cry at all movies now, it's sort of embarassing as nobody else is crying, nothing is sad or even seemingly touching.
 
#24 ·
I , too, have felt the nausea and vomiting lift a bit. I am not throwing up every single day and it is nice to eat a bit again.
I am dealing with my ex - he is moving to California (we live in Florida) in two months so the kids will see him even less than they do now. He was a very loving and involved dad until we divorced then he entered this really selfish period. He doesn't call for weeks at a time, but the girls have been able to see him whenever they are on break. This move will make it nearly impossible for him to see them because I am not comfortable with sticking them on a plane cross country by themselves at 7 and 10. My 7 yo is having a really tough time and I actually made an appt for her to see a therapist next week. She has had a lot of loss to deal with in her life - my mom, the divorce 2 years ago, and then my dad a few months ago. She breaks down pretty regularly, but seems to be ok talking about it. I'm just afraid she is not talking to me as much about her feelings around the divorce because she is worried about me. My 10 yo is keeping it all in which worries me more, but I know she won't go talk to anyone until she sees that her sister is ok.
I am too hormonal to deal with all of this sanely. I am the most irrational person on earth right now and it took all I had to not lay into my ex when he told me he is moving and that he was not sure when he could see the kids again. I do feel like some of his actions are in response to my pregnancy, but we have been divorced for almost 2 years... he has to get over it as some point.
Arghhhh.
 
#26 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by chattyprincess View Post
surfacing...have you tried the weleda calendula cream yet? I cannot say enough about how great it is for rashes!
I use the Calendula diaper rash cream on DD and it rocks! I love, love, love their products.
They have a pregnancy oil that I am going to try out.

I have been in lurking mode lately. Not feeling particularly happy these days. You know, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all....
 
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