Getting frustrated, need a midwife!! - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 21 Old 02-11-2010, 04:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am 18 weeks pregnant and hoping to have a home birth. I am in Canada, where midwife care is covered by our insurance but there is a small budget and many people who want to get a midwife so I am on the waiting lists. It is becoming more and more stressful to wait. My son was born in Japan with a super healthy pregnancy and a planned natural birth which eventually led to a c-section due to my water breaking and labor not following. I really feel this could have been avoided if I had been with a midwife and is the big reason I don't feel comfortable at all in a hospital. I am starting to research private midwives that may work outside of the system, or I am also considering travelling to the US if it is possible to get a midwife in upstate NY. I just started to consider this option today, I would much prefer to give birth here. Since I am due in July it is even more difficult to get a spot because all of the midwives are on their summer vacations and they don't hire replacements. I spoke with one midwife today at a birth center where my friend gave birth and it doesn't look promising. so disappointing.

Canadian mom of Myron born in Japan, March 2007. Our second son born at home, wonderful HBAC in July 2010. I am a jeweller, I love creating things!

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#2 of 21 Old 02-11-2010, 05:49 PM
 
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How close is your due date to the beginning and end of the month? With my son my due date was the end of May, so they put me in a June slot even though he ended up being mid-May.

Also, how close are you to more rural areas? I'm in rural Ontario, and I found it actually easier to find a mw although there's not a lot of choice. If you head out of the city, there might be a mw who could take you on if they're willing to travel.
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#3 of 21 Old 02-11-2010, 05:50 PM
 
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I feel for you. I live in a state with only 4 midwives and it can be a tough battle.

I would call the midwives in NY and see if any of them can travel to Canada and attend home births according to Canadian law. I would expect to pay around $3-$4000 dollars for this, but perhaps there are midwives in NY who have agreements with - well I'm not sure what the medical care system is called in Canada.
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#4 of 21 Old 02-11-2010, 05:53 PM
 
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I can tell you from experience that the midwives practices in the buffalo area stink so I wouldn't even bother. Have you thought of coming to Toronto instead? I am american living in canada but I will be delivering in Maine. Its sad but in Canada your story is not the only one like this I hear. And not even for a homebirth midwife but to actually get into an ob or midwife for a hospital birth is very stressfull and difficult.
http://www.aom.on.ca/Default.aspx
That is to the ontario midwife association. If you want to Travel to Maine (hehe ) I am going to be seeing an amazing group of midwives and going to an awesome hospital that is totally in line with low/no interventions and allowing labor to happen naturally. Its pretty special and I am just SO thrilled to have found it!
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#5 of 21 Old 02-11-2010, 08:13 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for everyone having a hard time finding a midwife they really like!

Y'all need to move to Oregon where there is a surplus of midwives!!

Aimee Blessed Momma to 4 amazing boys, P ~ 9 H ~ 7 J ~ 4 and B ~ 1.  Happily married to D Living my almost dream life on an urban homestead, hoping for our forever land to find us soon!

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#6 of 21 Old 02-11-2010, 10:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My due date is mid-july (the 13th) they have such a huge demand here for spots I doubt they would change it. I would totally travel to Ontario, Vermont, Mass or Nova Scotia (where I am from but the midwifery system is just starting there so that wouldn't help) anyway...I spoke with a woman today who used an underground midwife and if I am able to get in contact with her old doula, she may be able to put me in contact with a lay midwife (which are technically illegal here) but cost about 2000$, not too bad. I just looked at a midwifery service for the Cape Cod area, 6 hrs from here , my brother lives there but I don't know how he would feel about me cruising in with my family to have a birth at his house. Anyway if I registered there before 28 weeks it would cost 2800$. The thing I would be worried about is if I had to do a hospital transfer in the States, it could cost me millions!

Canadian mom of Myron born in Japan, March 2007. Our second son born at home, wonderful HBAC in July 2010. I am a jeweller, I love creating things!

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#7 of 21 Old 02-11-2010, 11:36 PM
 
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I would definitely be nervous about a hospital transfer in the US because when I was pg with ds and traveling from Ontario to the US, I purchased travel insurance. I asked them about complications from pg, and they said everything but giving birth was covered. I really hope you can find someone. I can totally recommend some midwives in my area, but I think we're about 6-8 hours from Montreal.
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#8 of 21 Old 02-12-2010, 12:21 AM
 
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I am in Ontario and have no idea whether this would apply to a midwifery practice in MTL, but over here I'm told MWs sometimes reserve "last minute"-ish spots for women in difficult circumstances (like low income, refugees, those fleeing abuse, etc). I have no idea whether any of these categories might apply or whether MTL MWs have any provisions like this. Just thought I'd put it out in the ether.

I really hope you find a suitable Plan B.


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#9 of 21 Old 02-12-2010, 01:41 PM
 
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I wouldn't loose hope yet. I know here a lot of spots open up later in pregnancy (sometimes after 34-36 weeks even) as midwifery patients are transferred to OB care due to complications. I've recently seen spots open up in April/May at a few of the practices this way so July shouldn't be that far off.

Are you on every waiting list you could possibly be on? In my city we have 3 practices for like 430,000 people.
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#10 of 21 Old 02-12-2010, 03:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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sblisster- where are you? I just got in contact with a doula who may be able to help me get in contact with some lay-midwives so we will see. I am on the 3 waiting lists in the city,the 2 I spoke with recently said there is very little chance to get in, the 3rd I havn't called again yet.When I first found out I was pregnant I tried to put my name on some lists at birth centers only 1 hour out of the city but they wouldn't take me because I am not living in the area. So I figured that would be the same in Ottawa or other areas of Ontario, closer to Quebec.

Canadian mom of Myron born in Japan, March 2007. Our second son born at home, wonderful HBAC in July 2010. I am a jeweller, I love creating things!

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#11 of 21 Old 02-12-2010, 08:04 PM
 
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I hope a spot opens up soon. It's great that midwives are covered in most provinces, but we need more of them. I knew that I needed to get in there quick so I always called the day or day after I found out I was pregnant. I know that, here, if they know you want a homebirth, they may bump you up the list over other women who just want to birth in hospital. Maybe there will be spots opening after everyone has their 20 week ultrasound--hopefully you get in soon!

Marja: consensual-living, unschooling, piano-teaching, doula and mom to 3 creative, independent people:
DD, 8, DS, 6, and Baby DS born July 1, 2010 Married to DH for 10 years!
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#12 of 21 Old 02-13-2010, 12:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I also put my name on the lists the same day that I got my positive pregnancy test...before my period was even due. That just shows how bad the situation is.

Canadian mom of Myron born in Japan, March 2007. Our second son born at home, wonderful HBAC in July 2010. I am a jeweller, I love creating things!

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#13 of 21 Old 02-13-2010, 04:38 PM
 
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So did I... I called Nov 2nd for a July 16th EDD. I was lucky that we have a newer midwife group here that was able to take me. They don't do HBAC's - only one of the groups considers it and they haven't called me back. I'd prefer a midwife attended hospital birth over a OB attended and I've heard awesome things about my primary.

With my first birth I was put on all 3 lists at 5 weeks (2 days after I found out) and didn't end up getting a call back from any of them. The one group actually laughed at me when I called so late.
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#14 of 21 Old 02-13-2010, 05:08 PM
 
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I feel everyone's pain at not be able to get a midwife. We have none where I live, the closest ones are about 5-6 hours south of here but the highway leading there is dangerous and often closes for hours at a time. We're moving to Edmonton, AB at the end of this pregnancy but I think I'll have to go with an OB because I know it's almost impossible to get a midwife there. I'm still going to phone around, just in case there are cancellations but I'm not very hopeful. We need more midwives!!!! I'm not very happy with my prenatal care but I'm lucky to even have a family doctor up here so there aren't any options.

Lana: Mama to Mya Oct/2007 and Ainsley July/2010
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#15 of 21 Old 02-14-2010, 01:13 AM
 
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I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time finding a midwife.

I'm in the US but having kind of the same problem, only we have to pay out of pocket. There are five that serve the area I live in, 2 are pregnant and due around the same time as me, one is a man that I'm not very comfortable with (I'm a survivor of sexual assault and don't think I'd be able to relax in that intimate of a situation with any man besides my partner). So that leaves two midwives, and one is about $1000 more than the other. So we're meeting the one midwife next week.

I want a homebirth, but now we're having trouble with our roommate, and so I'm thinking about buying an RV for the warm months . . . in which case I think we'd just drive our motorhome to the hospital parking lot and labor/birth . . . so I'm hesitant to sign a $contract with a homebirth midwife because of that

It's frustrating. And if one more person asks me when I'm going to see a doctor, I'm going to scream in their face

Happy and in love with my family!
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#16 of 21 Old 02-15-2010, 01:45 AM
 
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shenanagans - I'm in the Peterborough area, but I think that you might have the same problem with not being in the area. I really hope you find one soon.

craft - A MALE midwife? That seems really weird to me. I can't imagine using one.
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#17 of 21 Old 02-15-2010, 09:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sblisster View Post
A MALE midwife? That seems really weird to me. I can't imagine using one.
When I applied to the midwifery program at Ryerson last year, one of the teachers told us that a male had been through the program. His mother was a midwife and growing up, it made a big impact on him. There are male nurses who work in L&D so that's similar.

(My initial reaction too is to prefer a female MW. I'm sure he has to overcome this weird vibe all the time. Stepping back and thinking about it, do I believe that a male can learn the clinical skills, counselling skills, etc. that are required to be a MW? Yes. But it's not what I would expect, to have a male MW, that's for sure.)


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#18 of 21 Old 02-15-2010, 03:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sblisster View Post

craft - A MALE midwife? That seems really weird to me. I can't imagine using one.
Yeah. I have a few friends that have used him, and 2/3 gave him good reviews. One (a doula) said that she would not use him again but didn't get into why. I don't want to be sexist; it doesn't offend me if he practices, but my personal comfort level doesn't allow for a male midwife to attend me during birth. The only male I want there is my partner!

Well, we are meeting our mw lady on Thursday! Hopefully we mesh well. I guess I should get a list of ?s together . . . but since (in my mind) she's pretty much our only option; I'm just going to tell her what I want (hands-off, low intervention, the less fetal monitoring the better, no U/S please) and see if she's okay with that. If not then . . . back to the drawing board!

She lives 2.5 hrs away (driving fast!), so I'm concerned that this will all be for nothing since dd's labor was so fast. By the time I "know" I'm in labor, I could be pretty close to pushing. But dp wants a birth attendant (I am kind of like, I'll just squat wherever I happen to be at the time), so we are making a good solid effort to find a hb mw. I just hope it's not $3500 down the drain if the birth goes to fast for her to get here.

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#19 of 21 Old 02-17-2010, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I finally made contact with the private midwife's assistant and we have a meeting with them next week! yeah!!
I called the last birth center today, that I have my name on the list for (I already called to hassle the other 2) and they said it would be very unlikely that I would get a spot because I don't live in the same neighborhood. Not far at all but out of their juristiction. anyway, I am happy that I at least have an alternative, not just the hospital. phew!

Canadian mom of Myron born in Japan, March 2007. Our second son born at home, wonderful HBAC in July 2010. I am a jeweller, I love creating things!

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#20 of 21 Old 02-17-2010, 06:32 PM
 
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#21 of 21 Old 02-23-2010, 08:12 PM
 
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hooray! I hope the meeting goes well and you find someone you connect with and trust to help you birth your baby.
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