No one ever tells you about this! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 02:05 AM
 
majazama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: mountains of bc
Posts: 4,664
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I remembered more..

You will only have colostrum for the first few days, and baby might be hungry. With my first DD I let her nurse a lot (more than she "wanted") because I wanted my milk to come in faster.. I ended up with raw bleeding scabbing nipples.. it was so painful. Lesson learned.. only let them nurse when necessary at first to keep them feeling good, and *make sure* you are nursing them correctly (as much of the areola as you can get has to be in the baby's mouth).. but apparently having nipple trauma like that is more common with fair skinned people, so if you have a darker complexion, you might not have to worry (still important to get the baby latched on properly though)

when the milk comes it. Oh.. My.. Gawd.. Your boobs will feel like rocks and they will be the biggest you've ever seen them. I've got teeny boobs, and when my milk came in, everyone was impressed with their girth. I looked like a porn star This is part of the reason I finally bought a breast pump this time around.

and be prepared to want to stare at your baby for literally hours on end. I stared at them so long, I would get major pains in my neck.
majazama is offline  
#32 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 02:33 AM
 
lilflower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 56
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Great idea for a thread! Here are mine
NO ONE told me what postpartum recovery would be like for my body.
1. Lots of bleeding

2. Hemorrhoids (shudder...this goes along with being scared to have my first postpartum poop)

3. engorged and/or leaky breasts.

4. incredibly weak bladder. I think I tinkled in my pants every time I sneezed/coughed/laughed/cried/anything. My postpartum low was when I took a shower at home during the first week. As I stepped out the tub my breast were literally shooting milk out of them, blood was trickling down my leg and then as I lifted my leg to step out I peed all over myself (I didn't even feel the urge to go!) I cried and felt like a gross mess. But now I can laugh at it

5. Tons of sweating the first fews nights (all that water retention)

6. OK this one I didn't see mentioned HAIR LOSS. It didn't happen until about 1-2 months postpartum. My hair was coming out in clumps!! I guess you have a lot more hair or don't lose hair during pregnancy so everything yo uhaven't lost the last 9 months you start to lose. I thought I was going to be bald. It was scary, but as I later found out, normal.

7. Little boys get surprising distance when they pee, the erections are awkward but useful in knowing when they'll pee all over you

8. Feeling "touched out" I love my husband and my son immensely but there were times when I just wanted to say "for 5 mins nobody touch me!!"

9. I am a strong advocate of attachment parenting and baby wearing nursing on demand etc. BUT for me personally, I had to come to terms with I am not the perfect mom that I want to be and not every moment was filled with peace and bliss. I sometimes needed a "timeout" even if it was just putting my son down for a min or asking my husband to hold him for awhile so that I could have sometime to just refresh. It doesn't take a lot of time, but just the mentality of "I am taking this 1 min for myself" helps a lot. I guess my point is, recognize your own limitations and don't feel guilty that you have them. You will be a better more peacful mother if you come to terms with them.

10. Learn to say no to people as much as you say yes. Do not feel like you have to open your home up to everyone that wants to stop by, do not feel like you have to let people hold your baby if you don't want them too (I cried because when we came home from the hospital the next few days it felt like everyone but me was holding my son. The only times i had him was when he nursed and since it was a frustrating learning expereince for the both of us the first week i felt like i only had him when he was grumpy. I finally just said to people "I'm going to go get him to sleep or go nurse him" instead and would go spend some quiet time with him. phew) say YES when people offer to help because you need it.

11. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. If it feels right, you don't need to explain it to yourself or anyone else. It's probably the right thing. Even if it isn't you'll learn as you go. Being a mother is learning every day.

12. You will love your baby and still love your baby even if you don't "feel" it.

13. It is all so incredibly worth it. As cliche as it sounds. Another cliche "it goes by so fast" you won't believe it when you have sleepless nights or days that don't seem to end, BUT somewhere between then and their first birthday you'll wonder where all that time went. Take lots of pictures, because your memory isn't the sharpest when it's sleep deprived and frazzled

14. I love my little boy for everything he is and everything he's made me and made me realize I'm capable of. He's truly a blessing and I can't wait to see what lessons this next baby has for me!
lilflower is offline  
#33 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 07:14 AM
 
UberMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,534
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Popping in from June

- If you have a c-section, your girly parts may still hurt quite a bit. Mine have each and every time for a few days after delivery. While I had no tears/stitches, obviously, the peri bottle was my best friend as wiping was NOT an option due to the sensitivity down there.
UberMama is offline  
#34 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 09:28 AM
 
SpuglyRoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 317
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No one ever told me that my milk might not come in. It was one of those things that I assumed would happen and was counting on happening within the first few days and since I was planning on exclusively breastfeeding I was devastated when it hadn't come after a few days. (I'm sure that all the postpartum hormones and first time parent anxiety didn't help either.)

(By the way, we had to work HARD to get it to come in, but thankfully at 13 days PP it came in and my son was breastfed from then on.)

Hey, Babe  +  Me  =  Little Man 07-27-08  &  the Storm Sprite 07-11-10  computergeek2.gif    
SpuglyRoo is offline  
#35 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 12:31 PM
 
queenofchaos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 506
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I thought of another couple things:
If this is your 2nd pg, you may NOT get engorgement when milk comes in. The only time I did was after my 1st. You may also NOT get that let down feeling you had with the 1st. (I actually haven't had that somewhat uncomfortable prickly feeling with let down since my 4th baby.) That in no way, shape or form means that the milk isn't there, IT IS.
If you do get engorged, when you sleep, sleep on a towel or something that will keep your sleeping place from getting wet and you can change easily. It's enough to have to change diapers, baby's clothes and your PP bleeding pads without having to change the sheets on the bed a couple times a day because you get them soaked (and it's usually not a small area either).
queenofchaos is offline  
#36 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 01:14 PM
 
nervousnelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 235
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by UberMama View Post
- If you have a c-section, your girly parts may still hurt quite a bit.
Anyone have any idea why that is?

Mommy to a gorgeous little miracle
nervousnelle is offline  
#37 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 01:20 PM
 
neveryoumindthere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 3,954
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by queenofchaos View Post
I thought of another couple things:
If this is your 2nd pg, you may NOT get engorgement when milk comes in. The only time I did was after my 1st. You may also NOT get that let down feeling you had with the 1st. (I actually haven't had that somewhat uncomfortable prickly feeling with let down since my 4th baby.) That in no way, shape or form means that the milk isn't there, IT IS.
If you do get engorged, when you sleep, sleep on a towel or something that will keep your sleeping place from getting wet and you can change easily. It's enough to have to change diapers, baby's clothes and your PP bleeding pads without having to change the sheets on the bed a couple times a day because you get them soaked (and it's usually not a small area either).
yes, the last 2 babies I did not get engorged. I didn't get the prickly/burning feeling with letdown with #3 but am most definitely having it this time with #4.
very cool how everyone's experiences are different but totally normal

Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com

neveryoumindthere is offline  
#38 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 01:54 PM
 
slgt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New England, in the mountains
Posts: 1,516
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nudnik View Post
Afterpains (only a problem after 2nd or later babies) are worse than labor. And there IS no epidural for those.
What are afterpains? This is the first I've hard of them...
slgt is offline  
#39 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 06:13 PM
 
shishkeberry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: In Potions class, daydreaming...
Posts: 1,779
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh yeah, and it's possible to have a decent supply for BF but still not be able to pump no matter how hard you try.

DS 8/4/04 "You're my best mommy in the deep blue sea!"
****5****10****15****20****25****30****35****40*
shishkeberry is offline  
#40 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 06:38 PM
 
UberMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,534
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nervousnelle View Post
Anyone have any idea why that is?
It can be due to the catheter, also because your hormones are all over the place (or so my previous OB told me).
UberMama is offline  
#41 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 08:20 PM
 
mama2toomany's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: MN
Posts: 3,295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh the let down!

No one told me that it is also in your head, meaning if a baby that is not yours cries in the store, you will get let down.

That was embarrassing.

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
mama2toomany is offline  
#42 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 08:59 PM
 
jeannineb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 279
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I learned that the symptoms of sleep deprivation can be scary! I got to the point of crying hysterically, feeling like my baby was going to die in my care and feeling like there was NO WAY I could possibly do this whole parenting thing. This all came out during a phone conversation with my sister, to which she replied calmly "you sound sleep deprived". I thought SHE was crazy, but I did finally get some sleep and felt a whole lot better in the next couple of days. I will have much more support this time, so I hope that doesn't happen again, but if it does I will try to identify it before I get so bad. I am so thankful that she identified it for me, though.

Happy wife of Treading.gif  mom to L lady.gif and Mjog.gif

 

jeannineb is offline  
#43 of 53 Old 05-29-2010, 11:52 PM
 
Surfacing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: stuck between a rock and a hard place
Posts: 6,690
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
subbing to come back later and read

I can sooooooooooooooooooo relate!!!!

wash.gif  Me  + bikenew.gif Dh =  broc1.gif  Dd1(9 yrs) + hearts.gif  Dd2(6 yrs) and blowkiss.gif Ds(3.5 yrs)
Surfacing is offline  
#44 of 53 Old 05-30-2010, 12:07 AM
 
Autumn Breeze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: with the Geek in the Pink
Posts: 15,077
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DDCC to say that I never needed a peri bottle. I was cut with my son, 2nd degree and stitched up. I was sore, and I could feel 'pressure' if I was standing up for more than 10 minutes for a few weeks. It was uncomfortable, but not painful. Sex was another story, and that didn't happen for 12 weeks.

With my 2nd I tore a bit, and we (my midwife and I) agreed that it would be more damaging to stitch me, and she would check me in a few days. I never felt pain, I was only sore for about a day afterward, and could then stand for as long as my body and baby let me (usually around 15 minutes, but I could shower for 30 minutes with out that heavy/pressure soreness like I had the first time. And sex was much sooner, I feel because I healed so much better and the scar tissue was so much softer.

That just stood out to me, there are so many things, and this thread is already really long

~Autumn~   Mama to whistling.gif (2001) and hearts.gif(2005) partners.gif madly in love since '99 
Autumn Breeze is offline  
#45 of 53 Old 05-30-2010, 11:04 PM
 
2sweetboysmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Still feeling lost in So.Cal. after 17 years.
Posts: 1,607
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If you already have a kiddo or two be prepared to return from the hospital (no matter how short or long your stay) to find they have aged a good 6 months...or so it will seem.

DH&Me  Christ follower, homeschooler, gardener, (insert lots of additional crunchiness here) chicken mama, & occasionally blogger. intactlact.gifMama of  boys 9,7,3.5,&11months....& SURPRISE jaw2.gif  expecting a BOY in November!  7 sweet-babes gone too soon.

2sweetboysmom is offline  
#46 of 53 Old 05-31-2010, 07:55 PM
 
beckyand3littlemonsters's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leeds, England
Posts: 3,277
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by emilyash View Post
Can someone say more about these afterpains? Like when after? During placenta delivery? Or later? Why?
The after pains start after baby is born and are caused by your womb contracting back down to pre-pregnancy size. They tend to hurt more with each subsequent baby because your womb takes more work to get back down to it's pre-pregnancy state also breast feeding makes your uterus contract more which is why they become stronger at these times. Mine lasted about a week with all my lo's though some will find that they either last longer or not as long and some people don't even get them at all.

Becky, sahm to angel.gif25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 angel.gif24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008

Xander 19/05/2011
angel.gif 19.05.2012 angel.gif 18.08.2012 angel.gif 24.05.2013 angel.gif 25.6.2013 belly.gif 04.09.2014 uc.jpg

beckyand3littlemonsters is offline  
#47 of 53 Old 05-31-2010, 07:55 PM
 
queenofchaos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 506
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2sweetboysmom View Post
If you already have a kiddo or two be prepared to return from the hospital (no matter how short or long your stay) to find they have aged a good 6 months...or so it will seem.
yes, and that they look like they are enormous. it's like how did you get so big overnight?
queenofchaos is offline  
#48 of 53 Old 05-31-2010, 07:57 PM
 
beckyand3littlemonsters's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leeds, England
Posts: 3,277
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by shishkeberry View Post
Only thing I can think of that hasn't been mentioned is that baby boys get erections, too. Yes, it is a bit disturbing the first time you see it, but it's normal.
my ds cameron managed to pee right over his own head on more than one occasion.

Becky, sahm to angel.gif25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 angel.gif24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008

Xander 19/05/2011
angel.gif 19.05.2012 angel.gif 18.08.2012 angel.gif 24.05.2013 angel.gif 25.6.2013 belly.gif 04.09.2014 uc.jpg

beckyand3littlemonsters is offline  
#49 of 53 Old 05-31-2010, 08:00 PM
 
beckyand3littlemonsters's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leeds, England
Posts: 3,277
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2sweetboysmom View Post
If you already have a kiddo or two be prepared to return from the hospital (no matter how short or long your stay) to find they have aged a good 6 months...or so it will seem.
my lo's where all born at home but i can still totally relate to this i remember only the day before giving birth to each next lo my then youngest seeming so small and then wow they suddenly seem so big.

Becky, sahm to angel.gif25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 angel.gif24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008

Xander 19/05/2011
angel.gif 19.05.2012 angel.gif 18.08.2012 angel.gif 24.05.2013 angel.gif 25.6.2013 belly.gif 04.09.2014 uc.jpg

beckyand3littlemonsters is offline  
#50 of 53 Old 05-31-2010, 09:54 PM
 
majazama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: mountains of bc
Posts: 4,664
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by queenofchaos View Post
yes, and that they look like they are enormous. it's like how did you get so big overnight?
majazama is offline  
#51 of 53 Old 06-01-2010, 07:58 AM
 
guerrabug45's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 68
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The best advice I did receive: bring a pillow for the car ride home. Your body will be empty of 7-10 lbs of joy plus the placenta, but your skin will not just automatically tighten up. Placing the pillow against the now empty space makes the car ride home ( if you are not birthing at home ) much more tolerable.
guerrabug45 is offline  
#52 of 53 Old 06-01-2010, 06:19 PM
 
Yaliina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Hampton, Virginia
Posts: 614
Mentioned: 22 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
These are all good ones, especially that you won't get any sleep- at least not regular sleeping at night. I found I just had to nap with the baby, 'cause he was up so much during the night. Little night owl!!

We found that our son had a "fussy period" of the day- I think it was between 7-8pm, when he would cry no matter what. We tried EVERYTHING- rocking, nursing, daddy, swings, slings, singing, vacuum cleaner... you name it!! We eventually just basically gave up & I'd take him upstairs to his nursery and sit with him and try to nurse him and sing to him until he either calmed down or went to sleep.

Also, although our DS didn't cry at all in the hospital, the first night home with him, he started screaming in the middle of the night and wouldn't be consoled (or nursed). As a first time mom, I would probably have ended up with him at the ER had my mother not been there to tell me he was OK after we checked him over and tried everything. Mom massaged him with plain Vaseline lotion, and he finally went to sleep. I think maybe he had dry skin, since he was 2 weeks "late", a C/S, and they bathed him vigorously right after the birth. Keep Vaseline or some other good unscented, non-medicated lotion on hand, and don't panic!

And, your love for your child grows with each passing day, even though it often seems impossible that it could. He'll get cuter every year, even though you'll swear he can't get any cuter than this moment. And you could easily remain in awe at the things they do and say every day.

Wife to since '98; Homeschooling, working on my doctorate & becoming crunchier by the day; Mom to DSs: 06/10,12/05, & 1/99 & 1 on the way (3/15)
Yaliina is offline  
#53 of 53 Old 06-03-2010, 01:16 AM
 
ArtsyHeartsy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: CA
Posts: 584
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn Breeze View Post
DDCC to say that I never needed a peri bottle. I was cut with my son, 2nd degree and stitched up. I was sore, and I could feel 'pressure' if I was standing up for more than 10 minutes for a few weeks. It was uncomfortable, but not painful. Sex was another story, and that didn't happen for 12 weeks.

With my 2nd I tore a bit, and we (my midwife and I) agreed that it would be more damaging to stitch me, and she would check me in a few days. I never felt pain, I was only sore for about a day afterward, and could then stand for as long as my body and baby let me (usually around 15 minutes, but I could shower for 30 minutes with out that heavy/pressure soreness like I had the first time. And sex was much sooner, I feel because I healed so much better and the scar tissue was so much softer.

That just stood out to me, there are so many things, and this thread is already really long
Oh OWWWW. I tore quite a bit with DD, I'm hoping it doesn't happen again, I'm wondering if I should go the no-stitch route too if it does happen?! It took me months to heal, and even then I can still be sensitive and can feel the scar again as I get further along.

The thing nobody told me (maybe because it doesn't happen unless you tear?)... The SHOCK I felt when going pee the first time, It felt like I had a softball between my legs, no kidding. I almost fell off the toilet. I think it was the swelling from the tearing (she was a forehead/sunny side up -as they say- presentation) and the stitches. I was still numb so I had no idea what was going on and thought I left a pad on. Nope. Scary!!!

Oh and as someone else said, the bleeding!!! My dd was in the NICU and when I would go feed her and get up to leave, no matter how many pads I had I bled all over the floor, it was very embarrassing! I'm over it now though.

Artist, teacher, wife and mommy to DSS, DD1, DD2 and surprise baby girl on the way, 7/12!

ArtsyHeartsy is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off