here are some of my discoveries:
1. Laundry increases 10 fold!
2. The love I felt for my baby was almost paralyzing. I truly did not think I could ever need to leave our bed. Then, I wanted to go out and show her the world!
3. I needed help to get my legs into my underwear and pants for the first week.
4. I panicked if I needed to pee and my peri bottle was out of reach or empty. For the first week anyways.
5. The first postpartum poo, for me not baby, was exceptionally traumatizing. Until I actually realized that it all still worked just fine.
6. TMI ahead...I was no where near ready for intercourse at 6 weeks pp. Physically impossible, but also psychologically I had to get over the fact that my vagina was designed to let someone out. Just as it had been hard to imagine someone coming out of there, it had now become really hard to feel like it was natural to let someone in the out door...tmi
7. Breastfeeding, although I've been doing it now for over 2 years and have never had any complication whatsoever, is hard work. It's like a full work day, every day. You give probably at least 8 hours/day+night, it's just broken up between doing other things.
8. In the year that I was pregnant->postpartum, I really struggled with my wardrobe. I gained 60 pounds in pregnancy and needed maternity clothes, then I was overweight and not pregnant so needed clothes in a bigger size and then I lost all the weight but my proportions were very different from my pre-pregnancy body. So I needed some different clothes again. Not to mention clothes that helped me breastfeed. And just when I got back into a 'normal' clothes routine, I became pregnant again.
9. My dog went into protective overdrive and we needed to put her in dog training because we somehow gave her the impression it was her job to protect the baby, so says the trainer.
10. I was/am so all consumed with love for my baby that I gave up a life long love, my career, to be a sahm. Something I never before understood how someone could be happy to do. Having a baby changed me.
Anyone else want to share?
Me 41, single mom to dd 4/2001 and ds 7/17/2010
Hey Nena, I know you are creepen on me. Get a life.
Don't let anybody tell you the baby needs to be on a feeding schedule--that is the biggest hogwash I bought as a first time mom, and I think it really had a negative long-term effect on her self-feeding instincts.
Do not plan on sleeping through the night for the next year. Sorry! Maybe your baby will settle down at a few months of age and give you a good night's rest, but do not count on it or you will most likely be let down. That way if you do sleep, count yourself lucky, but just prepare yourself for a reality of broken sleep for at least a year.
You will be THIRSTY!! Drink drink drink drink.
Hmmm, that's all I can think of right now.
Great idea for a thread!
Afterpains (only a problem after 2nd or later babies) are worse than labor. And there IS no epidural for those.
sorry hope i haven't scared anyone.
Becky, sahm to 25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008
19.05.2012 18.08.2012 24.05.2013 25.6.2013 04.09.2014
I bled as much as I did with a natural delivery and felt super upset no one warned me.
You will sweat like a racehorse for the first few nights after birth.
DH&Me Christ follower, homeschooler, gardener, (insert lots of additional crunchiness here) chicken mama, & occasionally blogger. Mama of boys 9,7,3.5,&11months....& SURPRISE expecting a BOY in November! 7 sweet-babes gone too soon.
and yes, the afterpains.. I did get warned this time (4th) that they'd be "wicked" and it was the perfect word to describe them.
I wish someone warned me about the feeling like you will explode (literally) as the baby's head comes out, even if only for a second.
Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com
My DS had GERD and I WORE puke 90% of the day.
The new burp clothes called burp catchers may sound gross but apparently I wasn't the only one with that problem since it was invented.
I had exactly 6-7 minutes to put him in the bouncer so I could take a quick shower (start to finish including getting dressed) before he would cry- that is all the "me" time I got for the first few months.
Don't think a healthy baby won't wake up to eat.
Your breasts will leak and leak and leak... and I felt like a cow and slave to my home
I was not afraid to lay him on his tummy
Don't be afraid to keep it loud in the house. Talk at normal levels, let the phone ring, have a radio or something on- I think it prepared DS to sleep through doorbells, dogs barking and lawnmowers.
People don't care if the baby is only 6 weeks old, they will come up and touch him in the store- be prepared to guard them!
You learn to do everything with one hand because the other is always holding the baby (mine HATED the sling).
DS would scream louder and louder the faster the swing went- all the baby gadgets don't work for every baby.
You will get peed and pooped on many times
Now, that being said, I LOVE my son and there is nothing I wouldn't do for him. I'd also do it all over in a heartbeat. Thinking back, I laugh at what happened to us when he was a newborn and it is comical now. Back then, I was not amused. Try to enjoy every second you get with them because it goes SO fast.
starts after birth and can last anywhere from hours to days after delivery. Usually during breastfeeding. I am not sure why it happens. And I was warned before having my 2nd but I did not have a problem with it, I think the mass quantities of RRL tea helped a lot with this
Research like crazy and learn as much about breastfeeding as possible before your baby arrives! I just assumed it would all work on its own, and when it didn't, I was devastated. Tap into every resource available in your community! I was embarrassed and felt inadequate, so I didn't seek help from many people who could have made a big difference.
Another thing I wanted to say is be prepared for the baby to want to "be on you" () for at least 6 months. I know I thought, attachment parenting is a great way to bring up my baby, but the baby wants it from the beginning. When they are little you can put them down more, I think (without crying, because they *sleep all the time*) than when they get a couple months old.
you will be surprised by the feeling of having a lot of time on your hands and really want to do things after the baby is born. Because as I said before, they sleep *all the time*, pretty much. You get less and less and less time to yourself as they get older.
8. In the year that I was pregnant->postpartum, I really struggled with my wardrobe. I gained 60 pounds in pregnancy and needed maternity clothes, then I was overweight and not pregnant so needed clothes in a bigger size and then I lost all the weight but my proportions were very different from my pre-pregnancy body. So I needed some different clothes again. Not to mention clothes that helped me breastfeed.
That was totally me too, and it was hard on me in a lot of ways.
My dd is 5 and I hardly remember anything about her infancy! I feel terrible about it, but I know it's not just me. So really that's the only other thing I can say. I never thought I would forget so much! Okay so I guess that's more 'later on', but still... related.
I do remember that I figured I'd cry and be full of emotion after dd came out and I got to hold her, but things were so all over the place that it didn't really come to me right away. I think if the birth had been different and I wasn't in a hospital and she wasn't taken from me right away to be suctioned (meconium) I would have been much more likely to feel that way. But I know all kinds of reactions are normal!
We like to think as parents that what we do has this profound impact on who/what our children become, but from what I have seen there is a lot already programmed in when they are born. Learn to work with their personality, not against it.
About the afterpains, the only time I had them is each time I put baby to breast. And that's because breastfeeding/nipple stimulation encourages the uterus to contract. Which is a good thing. But can be very painful. But the pain usually only lasted for a few minutes at the beginning of each feeding, so managable, but not too exciting. I never had them with 1st baby tho. I don't think it was until #4 that the after pains got comparable/worse than labor. This time around ought to be real fun, babies 7 and 8, all that extra stretching from two of them.
how hungry I would be after giving birth! Seriously, I could have eaten three meals
that you can have "too much milk," i.e., too rapid a letdown
that newborns poop ALL THE TIME
or that a peri bottle will be your new best friend--at least for the first week or two!
For those who are planning to have more kids: enjoy every moment and when you have another child, don't expect one pg/birth/child to be like the one before. When I had my 1st I totally had that rush of love when she was put in my arms, the 2nd not at all. Just a small example.
We like to think as parents that what we do has this profound impact on who/what our children become, but from what I have seen there is a lot already programmed in when they are born. Learn to work with their personality, not against it. About the afterpains, the only time I had them is each time I put baby to breast. And that's because breastfeeding/nipple stimulation encourages the uterus to contract. Which is a good thing. But can be very painful. But the pain usually only lasted for a few minutes at the beginning of each feeding, so managable, but not too exciting. I never had them with 1st baby tho. I don't think it was until #4 that the after pains got comparable/worse than labor. This time around ought to be real fun, babies 7 and 8, all that extra stretching from two of them.
Okay.......I'm rambling, this is a great thread, I'm reading a lot of things I wished I'd known the first time around.
Only thing I can think of that hasn't been mentioned is that baby boys get erections, too. Yes, it is a bit disturbing the first time you see it, but it's normal.
Ok, you all got me a little freaked about the after pains. I didn't have them with my 2 previous births now I wonder if I they have it in for me this time.
Oh and here is advice I give all new moms that has helped me tons. When in doubt (poo diaper/mess) go to the bath tub. That way you have access to water, soap, an area that cleans easily and you can set the messy clothes diaper in the sink and or other end of tub. I don't know how many drippy blow outs DS had with sposies that I was yelling (not in a mean way ) for DH to go to the tub... saves on so much laundry of blankets and spot cleaning the carpet!
Hey Nena, I know you are creepen on me. Get a life.
I was the first person I knew to breastfeed. I had NO clue what to expect.
The leaking? Wow.
The let-down? Wow.
The fact that 5 years after my daughter was born I still cringe when I hear a baby crying, bracing for let down? Yeah.
It didnt hurt so much, but I wouldn't call it a pleasant feeling. Kind of like a burning or stinging that does not last long. From what im told most women dont get it that bad, but I certainly did (did breast size play a role? Im huge-breasted)
People told me but I didnt believe that you will cry every time you realize the baby is getting bigger and not such a tiny baby anymore. It was true.
I also did not bond with DS the very moment he was put in my arms. I think i was in too much shock for what I just went through lol... DD I bonded instantly and could not stop saying Shes so pretty! Shes so pretty! I think I said it 20 times between when they took her to measure her/get her footprint and when I got to hold her again.
Afterpains were worse with her than him. Thanks for reminding me they will probably be worse yet this time! LOL
Peri bottle became my best friend long after my stitches were gone. Hemorrhoids react well to some very warm water from a peri. Of course... sitz baths work better.
but the #1 thing that NO one told me... but once I experienced it every mom replied, oh yeah me too!...
phantom kicks. to this day I STILL get them, and Im 24 weeks along! but I get some up near my ribs and shes not quite that high up yet. Sometimes they can be so strong (when not pregnant) that it stops me dead in my tracks and I have to remind myself Im not pregnant! (As far as I know there is no scientific explanation for this, but my doctor... who experiences them herself, believes that it is your muscle reacting to the trauma of having been stretched out)