Maranapanda, I *SO* hear you. I think mindset during birth is a huge thing. It's hard to describe and hard to achieve. I found my second birth best because I was alone at home with dh most of the time and was able to awe at the power of my own body.
So interesting to hear you say about your first birth -- that it felt like something supernatural had happened. I felt the same way too. And I felt like I had seen something I shouldn't have, like I was shell-shocked like a soldier after a war or something.
Part of the supernatural/awesome thing though was Feeling All The Women.... very cosmic and spiritual, I felt all the women who had birthed before me, all those who were birthing with me, and all those who would be birthing after me... that was cool, man.
Anyway, I had brought a lot of baggage to my first birth, incl. very harsh self-talk from a borderline grandmother, and fear/pain from a history of witnessing SA. I also didn't advocate for myself when my care was transferred to an OB, and I spent a lot of time being angry at my MWs and the OB, but being silent about it.
I too have heard that quote, "The contractions are not bigger than you, they ARE you". It *is* an empowering thing to hear and to KNOW during birth. I am really looking forward to getting our beads and inspirational sayings from our due date club. Last birth I posted all those sayings on a nice blue construction paper, and looked at them as a way of mentally preparing, rehearsing positive thoughts about birth.
I too was in a waaaay better place mentally for the 2nd birth and like you, am worried about not being able to recreate it for the 3rd.
Honestly, part of it for me is I think asking my mom to stay with the children instead of being present at the birth............... ugh. Anyway.
But yeah, I hear you on tapping in to the whole spectrum of sensations and feelings WRT BH and birth.