I'm afraid I'll never go into labor - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 03:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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First, I should say that I don't post often, but I read these boards all the time! Thanks for all of your insight and wisdom.

Now I need some support and was hoping you all could help in that department: I know it sounds totally crazy, especially for someone who already has a kid, but I'm afraid that I won't go into labor on my own. With DS, I started having contractions 30 seconds every 2 minutes for 12 hours with no progress before I threw in the towel and got induced. I find myself wondering when labor would have come naturally with him - I could have gone on like that for weeks, from what I understand. I have this lingering doubt that my body will do this on its own. And now, as I near the end (due date 7/17), and the temperatures near 100 around here, I'm getting miserable and am starting to get nervous that I'm going to go until 42w2d and still not be in labor (that's the longest my mw will let me go) and that makes me sad on two levels: 1. I don't want to be pregnant any more, let alone for almost another month; 2. I don't want to be induced again. (And goodness, just saying that I may be pregnant for almost another month puts me on the verge of tears!) Strangely, I have no fear of labor itself and am totally confident in my body's ability to actually give birth once labor is started, but I just worry that labor may never start! This is totally exacerbated by the fact that I was up for like 3 hours a couple of nights ago with pretty strong contractions that ended up just petering out. That, too, makes me wonder if my body knows what to do. I wanted to be so patient and zen-like for this one, but now I just feel like a crazy person. And I know on some level that of course this will happen, but... on another level... sigh.

Did I mention that I'm really hot and tired?
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#2 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 04:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh my goodness - today is NOT my day. I just spoke to a colleague who has at least two kids. She was saying that she was 10 days late with her first, and "they" decided that her body just would not do things on its own, so "they" induced at 40 weeks for her second. This is my exact fear. I was telling myself it was irrational, and then I hear this story. WTH?!?! Arg.
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#3 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 04:55 PM
 
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Of course your body knows how to go into labor! It just might be slow to warm up

I totally hear you on the fear and frustration, though. I felt that way with my first pregnancy because I had so many convincing prodromal episodes. On the day that I finally did go into labor (at 40w3d), I cried and cried because I was convinced it was another false alarm. In fact, your anxiety right now makes me think that something could be happening for you .... hmmm... ??

Remember that induction is rampant these days, often before people even reach 40 weeks, and it's often doctors who are pushing it so that they can have some control over their own schedules, so don't be surprised when you hear others talking about how their bodies are failing them -- that's what they're being told.

I can totally understand taking measures to move things along when you get to 41 or 42 weeks (though some mamas on MDC routinely go to 43 weeks or so before labor naturally kicks in), but it sounds like you're only, what, 38 or 39 weeks? Don't give up just yet!

Again, I know how frustrating it is to feel like things are happening and then to not have them happen, but some of us are just slow starters. Can you give yourself a late deadline? Like maybe 41 weeks before you start really looking for a way out, so long as the baby seems ok?

. I hope it happens for you soon.

Amy (34): mommy to DD1 (11/07) and DD2 (7/10), wife, wohm, and wannabe suburban homesteader.
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#4 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 05:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you! It's not even that I feel like I need the baby to come TODAY. It's just this totally irrational (hopefully totally irrational) fear that it won't matter how long I wait - it just will never happen and I'll end up being induced again... in August. I wish wish wish I could be as zen-like as the other mamas that I read about who go to 43 weeks!
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#5 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 05:40 PM
 
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For what it's worth, with my first (who was born 11 days after a very accurate EDD) I was convinced that I would just be pregnant forever. I knew it was irrational. I knew that really wouldn't be the case, but nonetheless, it felt like just going into labor would. never. happen.

It did. It just took a while.

me dh ds1 (11/04) ds2 (7/10) and
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#6 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 06:36 PM
 
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right there with you, mama. I'm due Thurs, and still going in to work (mainly to avoid the triple digits outside), and everyone in my office is saying "I CAN"T BELIEVE YOU ARE STILL PREGNANT, OMG!"

Yeah, neither can I, and I so wish that I were in labor already!

Deep down i'm scared it just won't ever happen. And I think part of that fear is actually a fear of labor itself, kwim? I am scared of the pain and scared of the unknown and I think i am transforming that fear into a new fear that it will never happen.

But odds are, it WILL happen.

(right?)

NYC mom to D., born 7/16/10
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#7 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 07:30 PM
 
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I know where you're comign from. My daughter was born at 43 weeks, i had weeks of on and off labour before i got my membranes swept and then had her the next day.
Now i'm 41 weeks with my second, and i wonder if labor will start on it's own or if i'll have to get a stretch and sweep or some herbal methods or something to start it.
I'm not scared of labour, i'm not afraid of induction because i know i'll decline it LOL but ther eis a part of me that wonders if my body will actually do this on it's own with no help this time.... but honestly i KNOW it will... it's just in the back of my mind.

Don't worry, you have loads of time still and you're baby could come any day! Take care

Mom to Lizzy born May 2007 & expecting Baby#2 June/July 2010
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#8 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 09:51 PM
 
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With my first he was born 2 days before his due date...with my second 2 weeks after the due date...lol I too thought my body was broken but it happened. Just relax and give into it and accept it. No one was pregnant forever. Take pride if you get to join th e42 week club.

carlie~33 DP~40 mom to Cadan Riley 7/22/04, Kailin Naiya 8/05/06,, Ronen Blake12/13/08 , Rosen Blythe 7/26/10.
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#9 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 11:21 PM
 
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mellybelly -
I'm right there with you. All of a sudden I have this horrible feeling that my body will not do what it's supposed to do on its own... I was, however, induced with my first, at 42w4d. As much as I don't want to be induced again, I also do not want to be pregnant for another 2 weeks. I'm due in 3 days. I want to hold my little one NOW, and it's almost 100 degrees here also, so I am miserable. I'm tired of being tired and cranky and every day I wake up hoping my water will break when I get out of bed...
We do have to trust our bodies, but it does get SO frustrating...
Hang in there!

Erika, mama to Sawyer 6/04 joy.gifand Gracie 7/10energy.gif  :, dw Amy:

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#10 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 11:38 PM
 
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I'm here with you...41 weeks tomorrow. I'm already having to fight off my doctor who wants to induce tomorrow-I already had one NST on Sunday and I have another today plus a BPP. I almost feel like they are looking for anything that might be slightly wrong for an excuse to pressure me into induction.

It's a really weird place I'm at right now. I was SO ready to have this baby a couple of weeks ago...now I'm just used to being pregnant and can't imagine that the baby will ever come out. I realized last night that DH and I haven't practiced our breathing and relaxation stuff in over a week and that we've eaten all my labour food and other stuff that I had prepared for the birth has fallen by the wayside. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that the baby WILL come out...eventually. Right now, it sure doesn't feel like it. Everyone I talk to keeps saying things like "today will be the day", "it'll be tomorrow" etc., and in my head I'm thinking "nope", never going to happen. I hope it's not a self-fulfilling prophecy thing going on. Maybe I just need to get my head into it.
I'm kind of disappointed about how blah I'm feeling about the birth now. I was so excited and stoked...now I really have to try to even imagine it happening. I hope when it starts to happen I'll snap out of it.

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#11 of 17 Old 07-07-2010, 02:02 AM
 
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Thanks for this post. My EDD is in 4 days, and after also experiencing the "ready to have this baby two weeks ago" thing, the waiting has taught me great patience and reverence for the miracle of it all. A recent Mothering enewsletter had the affirmation "My baby knows when to be born" and I hang onto those words knowing that there's a reason why this little one is still growing.

Strength and respect to those mamas who are holding strong against induction. Also going out to the mamas who are bearing this heat - before you know it, we'll be reading one anothers' birth story posts!
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#12 of 17 Old 07-07-2010, 12:07 PM
 
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41+1 today. I was feeling like I'd never go into labor, but surprisingly, a NST & BPP yesterday put me into some zen like state about it. High amniotic levels, healthy placenta, very active LO. I suppose she'll make an appearance when she's ready.

Any anxiety I now have revolves around losing my homebirth should she decide to stay on the inside for too long. Yet, I'm so enjoying this relaxed state that for the moment I'm easily able to push those negative feelings aside and just enjoy the moment.
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#13 of 17 Old 07-07-2010, 02:02 PM
 
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I understand your anxiety. I'm 39 weeks and 2 days. Not overdue yet...but for some reason I've got it in my head that I won't get the experience of entering labor naturally. I'm afraid I'm going to lose that surprise and that I'll be in for a scheduled induction.

I'm not really afraid of the pain or holding the baby or losing sleep or any of that. I'm just mourning the potential loss of the experience. I know it sounds crazy, especially because it's not even my due date yet! But I guess I've got to worry about something since I'm totally not stressing out over the birth.
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#14 of 17 Old 07-07-2010, 03:09 PM
 
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YHannahh -
I hear you on not wanting to miss out on the experience of going into labor naturally - I missed that the first time and really wanted to experience it this time. But with each hour that passes I start losing more hope... I know that's silly... It's driving me CRAZY though waiting, and I'm feeling like I'm going to punch the next person that asks me, "So, when is that baby coming???"

Erika, mama to Sawyer 6/04 joy.gifand Gracie 7/10energy.gif  :, dw Amy:

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#15 of 17 Old 07-08-2010, 12:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm glad to see that I'm not alone in this! As I said, it's not that I'm anxious to have the baby right now (even though I *would* like to have the baby right now!), it's more, as someone else said, that I'm not going to experience a natural labor. But I just had an appointment this morning and convinced the MW that my due date should actually be 7/24 (based on charting), instead of 7/17 (based on u/s). I changed practices partway through the pregnancy and my old place said that they change due dates if an u/s show more than a week difference from your LMP/ovulation, but the new practice won't change it unless there's a 10 day difference. Sooooo.... I now have an extra week for my body to go into labor on its own. I guess I should be happy about that, but I'll admit that the prospect of still being pregnant on 8/9 and potentially still having to be induced has been really bumming me out. I'm not going to lie - I broke down in tears as I was telling DH. Sigh...
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#16 of 17 Old 07-08-2010, 04:21 PM
 
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Aah, misery loves company! Not happy that there are others in my same situation, but certainly glad to be able to find a place to share these feelings! I am 41 w 4 d today and have been feeling fine about going past the due date, but with this insane heat and not being able to do things with my other kids like I normally would, I am now starting to get a little impatient...and I know that it could still be a good week of waiting! Then there is the VBAC issue that is out there...but at least I know they won't consider doing anything until 42 weeks. Would like to avoid having to go back for another APP and NST on Monday - tomorrow would be a great day to have a baby! Good luck, everyone - our bodies and our babies definitely know when to start labor, and it will happen soon...
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#17 of 17 Old 07-08-2010, 09:39 PM
 
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livelovelaugh - I saw that you live in MA - I live in Southeastern CT, and this heat is definitely making this pregnancy less enjoyable. It's too hot to do anything, or go anywhere, even the beach with the humidity!!!
I had an appointment today - as much as I hate the idea of induction before 42 weeks - with my history of an almost 10 lb. baby, 4th degree tearing, and this baby also being on the large side, I've agreed to induction at 40.5 weeks. Unless I go into labor on my own, I guess I will be planning on a July 14 baby!

Erika, mama to Sawyer 6/04 joy.gifand Gracie 7/10energy.gif  :, dw Amy:

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