If I never hear the following again, it will be too soon: - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 07-17-2010, 08:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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"Are you sure it's not twins?" (I know our DDC had a surprise twins birth, but yes, I'm quite sure, unless a second fetus can hide on a Level 2 ultrasound, at 19 weeks, done by a perinatologist with 20 years of experience, and stay hidden through the end.)

"You're not going to be having the baby HERE, are you?"

"Did your doctor say it was OK?" (No, I did not ask my doctor whether it was OK if I empty the dishwasher or eat pizza with peppers on it. I'm pretty sure if there was a problem with that she would have told me.)

"Ooh, you're leaving your house. Is it time? Is it time?" (This is made worse when I am carrying a bag, usually a canvas bag for groceries. Well meaning neighbors. Still.)

"Are you insane?" (Usually said in reaction to "I am going to do what I can to avoid drugs during labor" and "assuming I am up to it and the baby and I are healthy, I want to spend as little time as possible in the hospital.")

"Oh, you'll change your mind when..."

You?

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#2 of 15 Old 07-17-2010, 09:04 PM
 
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ugh. all the above, plus the added gem, "how long is your doctor going to let you go? you're too big!" uh, 'til the little one makes her appearance. he isn't too worried about her size, regardless of the history of 10lb babies that i birth. naturally.

or my bil just outright laughing now when he sees me. gee, thanks.

soooo not helping my people-just-suck attitude right now...
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#3 of 15 Old 07-17-2010, 09:08 PM
 
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My favorite is "wow, she still in there?", um, yes, my due date is the end of the month and I am perfectly aware she's still in there because I need to pee! :-)
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#4 of 15 Old 07-17-2010, 09:26 PM
 
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'oh, you're still here?' <coming in to work> YEAH I'M OBVIOUSLY HERE AREN'T I ? yall keep scheduling me . . . til I go into labor. So I keep coming in coz I want the $$$$!



eta-- a couple more:

'So you're having the baby at home . . .' YES WE'RE HAVING THE BABY AT HOME 'well who will be there for dd and you' um well her FAMILY!! not to mention my doula friend, the mw, and the mw's assistant . . . there will be enough people here.

'Call us as soon as [she] goes into labor' <@ DP> wth? Seriously, this one burns me. Why on earth do people expect us to do this? And you can tell that they're going to be p*ssed when we call them hours after the baby has arrived, but seriously, why do they have this expectation? NO! We don't want people knocking the door down or calling for updates or 'how many centimeters now?' AAaarrgh!! And honestly, we'd rather have the whole day or even two before anyone comes by . . . I HATE (and I don't use that word lightly) the politics of birth---it's ridiculous!! /rant

'So will they LET you have drugs then?' um, no. They don't do epidurals at home.

'So you won't be going to the hospital?'

Happy and in love with my family!
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#5 of 15 Old 07-17-2010, 09:35 PM
 
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Ditto to all the above and the one that drives me the most nuts- usually said by my patients is "you're STILL pregnant?" Followed by "it feels like forever". I'm thinking forever for YOU?!?! Try being on this side of the fence!
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#6 of 15 Old 07-17-2010, 09:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by craft_media_hero View Post
'Call us as soon as [she] goes into labor' <@ DP> wth?
Ooh, this one bugs me, too.

There are *two* sets of people who will get a call when I go into labor--my parents (who will be looking after my stepdaughter and live more than an hour away) and my doctor (as I am hospital birthing). A close friend might get a call to come and watch my SD if we can't reach my parents and need to go *now*. (I do not want my stepdaughter present during my labor/birth. Oddly, I think she could handle a precipitous home UC--she's really pretty good in crisis mode--but in the hospital, she'd be complaining about boredom and lack of attention and being hungry.) Nobody else needs to know.

I might post a "showtime!" on Facebook, though.

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#7 of 15 Old 07-17-2010, 09:45 PM
 
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Whenever people hear that I'm having a home birth I either get the "you're crazy!" response, or the "you're so brave!" response. I'm so sick of it! I'm not crazy, and I'm not brave. I'm just educated. My baby and I are perfectly healthy with no complications...home is the best place for us!

I also am very tired of hearing "when are you going to be induced?" wth??? Is induction so common now that it's a matter of when, not if?

Some other great ones:
"you look so adorable!"
"what are you doing walking around?!" Am I seriously expected to stay home in bed and wait for this kid to be born?
"you're about to pop any minute now aren't you?" Shut the f-up!!

Enjoying life with DH since 05/04 and our two boys Oliver 02/07 and Theodore 07/10 
        
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#8 of 15 Old 07-17-2010, 09:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by kosheng View Post
ugh. all the above, plus the added gem, "how long is your doctor going to let you go? you're too big!"
The "will the doctor let you" stuff has been getting to me since Day 1. Like my doctor's watching me from afar and I'm wearing a shock collar or something...

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
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#9 of 15 Old 07-17-2010, 10:09 PM
 
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I get the "Oh you'll change your mind..." all the time too.

Also sick of hearing:

"You're so small!"

"You don't have a name yet?"

"Any updates on when the baby is coming?"

And from my customers..."could you just help me with this one more thing" (usually in response to me saying I'm swamped because everyone knows I'm going out on leave soon)

Paula, mama to DS M (7/2010) sleepytime.gif and Watson (1998) dog2.gif and welcoming baby Penny (8/1/2013) babyf.gif

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#10 of 15 Old 07-17-2010, 11:12 PM
 
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Yes yes yes to so much of what I've read here.

The incessant, several times a day phone calls from multiple people asking, "So what's happening now? What are you feeling? How are you feeling?" Grrrr.

I had the "you'll change your mind when you see what it's like" and "don't be a martyr" before I had my first child. When people find out I've had two vaginal births without pain meds by choice, they shaddap pretty quick.

"I would like you to give birth at the hospital because if you died at home, we would be left to look after the three kids." This gem came from my father last week. Umm we had a little chat and homebirth safety lecture after that one. My grandmother condescended to call me and advise that SHE didn't take advice from just anybody and believe what just anybody told her, SHE always went to the hospital and hired a special doctor to attend her for birth. Yeah I'm educated on and confident in my choices, thanks anyway. We don't all have to do it the same way.

wash.gif  Me  + bikenew.gif Dh =  broc1.gif  Dd1(9 yrs) + hearts.gif  Dd2(6 yrs) and blowkiss.gif Ds(3.5 yrs)
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#11 of 15 Old 07-18-2010, 09:49 AM
 
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Ok, maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but the one I hate is "What's her name?" usually asked by a total stranger. (umm... none of your business?) Not sure how to reply, either -- if I say it's a secret, I feel rude, but when I say we don't have one yet, they take me really literally and act all concerned.

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#12 of 15 Old 07-18-2010, 09:55 AM
 
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yeah, at this point...just don't talk to me

after my first, I've made it a point to never mention anything baby or pregnancy related to pregnant women....unless they bring it up first. I know that they've heard it all before and are more than likely very sick of talking about it.

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#13 of 15 Old 07-18-2010, 10:32 AM
 
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The first time it was all of the warnings about what can go wrong and why I shouldn't count on getting my natural birth. Now that I've done it once, I don't hear that, but people still question whether my "doctor" knows or has given me permission to do [such and such]. Apparently I'm the only independent adult to ever get pregnant .

Amy (34): mommy to DD1 (11/07) and DD2 (7/10), wife, wohm, and wannabe suburban homesteader.
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#14 of 15 Old 07-18-2010, 10:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer View Post
The "will the doctor let you" stuff has been getting to me since Day 1. Like my doctor's watching me from afar and I'm wearing a shock collar or something...
*gasp* you mean you DON'T have the shock collar on?!?!? how do you expect to know right from wrong?!?

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#15 of 15 Old 07-18-2010, 10:33 PM
 
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this thread is cracking me up!

I relate to so much of what has been said here. I despise the "they LET you" comments especially!

Today I totally avoided a homebirth conversation with two pregnant moms. The one knew I was at the hossy 30min before dd was born and I just let her assume that we'd the "staying home as long as possible" again coz I didn't have the energy to explain.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels affronted that people assume you have a responsibility to call everyone in your phonebook at the first sign of contractions. I have been pretty upset about it, but I'm just gonna ignore them and do what I need to do.

Happy and in love with my family!
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