"Are you sure it's not twins?" (I know our DDC had a surprise twins birth, but yes, I'm quite sure, unless a second fetus can hide on a Level 2 ultrasound, at 19 weeks, done by a perinatologist with 20 years of experience, and stay hidden through the end.)
"You're not going to be having the baby HERE, are you?"
"Did your doctor say it was OK?" (No, I did not ask my doctor whether it was OK if I empty the dishwasher or eat pizza with peppers on it. I'm pretty sure if there was a problem with that she would have told me.)
"Ooh, you're leaving your house. Is it time? Is it time?" (This is made worse when I am carrying a bag, usually a canvas bag for groceries. Well meaning neighbors. Still.)
"Are you insane?" (Usually said in reaction to "I am going to do what I can to avoid drugs during labor" and "assuming I am up to it and the baby and I are healthy, I want to spend as little time as possible in the hospital.")
"Oh, you'll change your mind when..."
ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice, please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).