Nobody cleaned? Aka The Award For Mr. Insensitive McClueless Goes To...... - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-16-2010, 07:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Massive vent in 3...2....1....



DH just got home from his ONE client. ONE. He also was asked by me to run ONE errand to pay the light bill half a mile away. He managed to make the entire errand take almost two hours.

The entire time he's posting on facebook from his phone, texting me, laaaa dee daaaa, just having a grand ol' time.

While I'm at home, working on a math lesson with DD, wrangling a 'should've napped two hours ago' CRABBY toddler who ONLY wants mama milk while her newborn baby sister is nursing. Non stop. Oh and I'm trying to figure out our damned cell phone contracts because we need to upgrade minutes for the business. And it's NOT an easy thing to do while juggling a kabillion other things.

Yep. We had lunch. Nope. I didn't clean up from it. I did ask the 9yo to toss trash and then she was either helping me by holding the baby while I helped the toddler, or was entertaining the toddler while I fed the baby, or she was working on her math while I was managing the littles. So no. There was no clean up. Big @$*&# deal.

DH comes home, meanders his way upstairs. I've managed to get the toddler down for a late nap, and I'm nursing the baby. 9yoDD is in her room working on her math (still-it's not much she's just been helping a TON and hasn't been able to finish). I tell him I'd like to chat about the cell phone thing, especially since it's complicated and the girls are all settled. His response is that he wants to eat. Now. Ok....fiiiiiiiiiine. So now we'll try and talk while the toddler is awake and crabby, while the 9yo needs her work checked, and the baby is done eating and started spitting up everywhere. That'll be productive. And he walks into the kitchen...first thing he says is "Huh, Nobody cleaned??".

Me. In. Tears.

Anyone else having this much fun?

GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)
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Old 08-16-2010, 09:20 PM
 
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I can SO see my DH doing this! Hang in there mama!

Angel, teaches Psych, married to Martin, chiropractor since 06/25/05 , Mama to DS, Quinn 7/11/07 and DD, Eliza 8/2/10 :
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Old 08-16-2010, 09:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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He saw me crying and came over, put his arm around me and said "whats wrong? Did I do something?" I told him, calmly, why I was upset and he said "I never mean to hurt your feelings, I'm sorry" And when I pointed out everything I was juggling he said yeah, I can see how you couldn't just ignore them to get the kitchen cleaned up. I get it"

Sigh. He had to go and be PERFECT in fixing it. Now I'm all smooshy instead of annoyed. AND he's cooking dinner. What's a woman to do with all THAT awesomeness?


GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
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Old 08-17-2010, 12:56 AM
 
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Good save Mr. Theoretica! So glad to hear he made right and is making dinner as well. You deserve a rest (or at least one less thing to do in the whole huge pile of million things to do when you have several kids who want/need your attention at once)!

wash.gif  Me  + bikenew.gif Dh =  broc1.gif  Dd1(9 yrs) + hearts.gif  Dd2(6 yrs) and blowkiss.gif Ds(3.5 yrs)
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Old 08-17-2010, 01:52 AM
 
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sounds like my stbxp.. but theres no "whats wrong?" or hugs. thats why hes a stbxp.
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:48 AM
 
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Ugh, that sucks mama. I'm having to watch over DP's shoulder lately during diaper changes to make sure he doesn't freak out if the baby's crying. Too sad that I have to worry about him losing his cool. AND he's started "taking care of business" again. So NOT ok. I'm a total wreck and he's pulling this in-your-face sexuality thing. I'm on the verge of losing my cool myself. But HE'LL be getting the frying pan treatment.

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Old 08-17-2010, 02:44 PM
 
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Wow.. sorry for your DH not understanding what you are going through.
My DH realized how hard my "job" is right now when I left for ONE hour. I made sure to pump before I left to make sure there was milk while I was gone. I had JUST nursed DS so I knew he would be good for at least 30-45 min (hence the pumped milk). Anyway, I felt so FREE and happy to get out of the house without my baby and 3 year old. I felt alive and plain wonderful even though my one hour consisted of picking up antibiotics and waiting in line.

Anyway, when I got home, my 3 year old DS was in his room upstairs, the baby was in the other room crying and my DH looked like he had been ruffled. I asked what was wrong and he said "that thing doesn't stop crying" while pointing to the area with the baby. I livid by him calling the baby a "thing" and I was even more ticked he let him cry. Of course I immediately went to the baby and held him- he just needed to be burped and loved, didn't want a feeding this time around.
Later on when they were both in bed, DH and I had a talk about what I expect and what is not acceptable. He finally saw my point after saying multiple times our first was not "this bad". Then he added that men are not made to be caretakers and that's why there are women...
Too bad I'm the one who works and he stays at home...
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Old 08-17-2010, 02:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Theoretica View Post
He saw me crying and came over, put his arm around me and said "whats wrong? Did I do something?" I told him, calmly, why I was upset and he said "I never mean to hurt your feelings, I'm sorry" And when I pointed out everything I was juggling he said yeah, I can see how you couldn't just ignore them to get the kitchen cleaned up. I get it"

Sigh. He had to go and be PERFECT in fixing it. Now I'm all smooshy instead of annoyed. AND he's cooking dinner. What's a woman to do with all THAT awesomeness?

Wanna trade? haha j/k I'm glad our lovely partners realize things aren't that easy!
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Old 08-17-2010, 02:50 PM
 
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Wow, nice save by the hubby. He gets 0 points for the original comment but like 29 out of 10 points for the recovery.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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Old 08-17-2010, 10:22 PM
 
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that sounds like my husband...some times I'd like to murder him but then he's awesome. At this point he is doing better than when my ds2 was born....he
's home more this time and sees exactly how hard things can get.

homeschooling, breastfeeding, cosleeping mama to ds1(7), ds2(3) and dd(3 months)
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Old 08-24-2010, 07:58 PM
 
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Oh I have to laugh or I'd be digging a hole to bury his body. Dh and I have gotten into some doozie this week...something along the lines of how hard he works and needs foot rubs and sex and food and all I do is watch tv and not clean. OMFG

I know my DH is having big jealousy issues with DS so I'm being gentle (when I'm not yelling at him to grow the ef' up).

It gets easier after 6 weeks right??

Cindy, joyful SAH mama to rainbow1284.gif William & Katherinefly-by-nursing2.gif Forever missing Amelia 7-12-09 angel3.gif  signcirc1.gifsaynovax.giflactivist.gif Ask me about my natural cesarean! 

 

 

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Old 08-26-2010, 09:19 PM
 
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I always find my husband more tolerable during PP periods, lately he's been talking about the lack of sex...I mean seriously? shall I lock the 3 kids into a closet for those 15 minutes? Drag myself out of sleep (since I'm getting so much of it anyway) at 3 in the morning? I don't get it.

For whatever reason it's like a switch goes on after the 6 week checkup...like that's it...I'm all normal and willing like I'm 22 years old again or something. It gets frustrating. And lately I've been feeling handicapped in some way...having 3 kids means theres a lot that does.not.get.done.ever. And he's gone in the evening a lot, sometimes for ridiculous reasons, at the hardest time in the day. If theres a time I really want help its at dinner/bedtime. He actually had the nerve to complain that dinner wasn't together last night at a certain time while I was nursing, burping, walking a fussy 7 week old. And if he has the fussy baby and I'm in a shower or something he'll come and get me and want me to take her. "Could I rinse the soap out of my hair, first?" Does he expect me to just jump at that moment when I'm obviously doing something like that?

okay rant over. sort of.

homeschooling, breastfeeding, cosleeping mama to ds1(7), ds2(3) and dd(3 months)
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