"When are you due?" asdf;lkj - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-13-2010, 12:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Today I took a recreational cooking class with my mother. One of the instructors comes up to me and asks, "When are you due?" Thinking I heard her wrong, I ask, "What?" She repeated herself. "When are you due?" Mortified, I answer, "I already had my baby!!" Then there was some awkward apologizing and congratulating and asking how old the baby was, etc. Then it gets worse. My mom chimes in and says to the instructor, "Oh, don't worry about it."

Ugh.

1. The instructor implied my stomach was large.
2. My mom was more concerned for the feelings of the instructor than for mine. She wanted to make the stupid lady feel better. But she was the one who made me feel bad!

Of course I couldn't think of any witty comeback at the time. But now I wish I had said:

I might be overweight, but AT LEAST I'M NOT STUPID.
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Old 09-13-2010, 01:52 AM
 
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Old 09-13-2010, 02:50 AM
 
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NO.FRICKIN.WAY!

Wow, I can't believe that! That's why I never ask that sort of question even if the woman seems to be expecting. I bet she'll never make that mistake again.

That sucks!

Happy and in love with my family!
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Old 09-13-2010, 04:14 AM
 
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Oh, I had that once when I had dd. I was at a maternity store to boot getting new bras. Let's just say I was very hormonal in my answer and the lady was very mortified for offending me with the belly size/weight issue. That embarassed the heck out of me. Trust me, nobody means any harm by it even if it rubbs you the wrong way. Afterall they're all curious and want to congratulate on your upcoming motherhood or sell you something appropriate.

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Old 09-13-2010, 07:50 AM
 
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Old 09-13-2010, 08:48 AM
 
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D'oh! And for your mom being the one to end up making you feel bad.

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Old 09-17-2010, 02:57 AM
 
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I had an acquaintance ask me the same thing. When E was three weeks old. I cried for HOURS.


GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)
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Old 09-18-2010, 02:14 AM
 
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When i first got home from the hospital and hobbled out of the car, my (otherwise very sweet) neighbor called down the block "Still holding on there?" Sure, I was still big, but not nearly as big as 2 days prior before the birth, couldn't she see that! I called back "No, I'm just still big, I already had the baby!" and tried to point to her, but her dad was taking forever to get the carseat out, so my neighbor just stared at me unbelieving.

It's amazing how careless people can be with both pregnant and postnatal women--it's not a time to mess with us! At least that instructor will remember her mistake for life.
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Old 09-18-2010, 01:31 PM
 
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I had this happen to me with my first daughter. I was in a hospital delivering a baby when some complications came up and an OB came in to help out and we had to head for section. I was standing next to him when out of the goodness of his heart he tried to make the mood lighter by commenting that I was pregnant too and asked when I was due. The room went quiet and as much as I wanted to slug him, I answer: Yes, she was due 9 months ago. You should see her now, she's really cute now and about to walk!

Sorry about your mom.

SAHM to DD 03/08 & DD 06/10 made with love with my DP
 
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Old 09-21-2010, 01:32 PM
 
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I'm sorry OP

I had this happen with a coworker when I was visiting with my 6 mo. old baby at work. "Wow, you're going to be off for even longer, aren't you?" he asked, gesturing at my stomach. He thought I was pregnant again. "No, that's just my baby belly," I said. I started weightwatchers after that.

I had a time on the subway when a lady offered me her seat and said, "Sorry, I just noticed, I wish I could have given you my seat a lot earlier!" I just blinked (I was NOT pregnant) and thanked her and took the seat.

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