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Anyone else?

3K views 4 replies 4 participants last post by  chattyprincess 
#1 ·
Im not sure if any of you ladies are really even on here anymore but I thought I would ask anyways...
I had my 2nd dd July 10, and while I love her dearly it just feels so different then my first. I know every time is different but I just worry...mainly because I don't remember exactly when I felt x,y,and z with dd1...you know? anyone else out there feeling slightly off?
 
#2 ·
ME! Also my second DD. She was born July 16th. What do you mean by slightly off? I have been feeling weepy and lonely, and all of a sudden want to go back to school which I never felt with my first. Love my little baby so much, but just feel, like you said, "off."
 
#3 ·
It's interesting... I felt soooo lovey-dovey in love after dd2 was born. I am loving ds, no doubt, but I'm so exhausted that I am not swooning like I was with dd2, yk? And I freaking loved bfing her but with him I'm like... eh, I don't know if I'll do it for 2.5 yrs again, yk? Weird.

Oh well, circumstances are different with each child, cut yourself some slack Chattyprincess. It doesn't mean you don't love your child. We bond with our children at our own pace.
 
#4 ·
Yeah, definitely different, I wouldn't say less bonding because I am doting just as much, but it's still different. She looks almost exactly like her big sister so it's actually a little weird sometimes, especially if she wears something that was dd1's. It's kind of twilight zone-ish.

I think for me I am in super dote mode because I am sure this is our last and I just can't miss a second. I am more willing to be separate for her though than I was the first time. (she doesn't feel the same way though! She SCREAMS if I am not around) I'm also more patient I think, probably because I am older.

I just think kids are all different, our relationships will be different with all of them. I'm definitely glad there is a 6 year space between the two girls though, I think I would have had a hard time if they were closer...and since dd1 is in school during the day I get to have a lot of one on one with my baby!

I think that one thing I am having issues with is I don't feel the same couple/baby bonding with dh, we used to just stare at DD1 together and be all lovey dovey, but it's not like that now. Eh, that's a whole different post.

I vote for cutting some slack!
 
#5 ·

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtsyHeartsy View Post
Yeah, definitely different, I wouldn't say less bonding because I am doting just as much, but it's still different. She looks almost exactly like her big sister so it's actually a little weird sometimes, especially if she wears something that was dd1's. It's kind of twilight zone-ish.
YES! Dd2 looks almost identical to dd1 and I think that might actually be part of my issue. I think part of me is really missing dd1 being little and my sweet baby (she is 4 now) and I don't know I really cannot put a finger on my exact emotion. I just feel unneeded from this one dd1 never took a bottle this one could care less. Its like everything and nothing all at the same time ya know? I really feel like this time around if something happened to me it wouldn't matter but I know with dd1 that she really needed me ya know?
I think this all started because I was sure that dd2 was going to be born late. I did NOT want to be done being preggers, I was seriously so happy and not miserable at all so going into labor was almost disappointing...isn't that odd?? I remember the midwives telling me during pushing that I would get to see dd soon and I would think..."thats not motivating I really just wanted to still be pregnant thanks." I was not mentally prepared to be in labor or having her, I was just in such shock.
Part of me is wondering too when I started feeling really intensely with dd1, I think I feel sort of guilty to not be baby crazy over dd2 but I also cannot remember when I started feeling that way with dd1, it was a slow build ya know?
argh, I just really wish I could sort out what I am feeling so that I could deal with it and move on. I hate talking to dh about it because I literally cannot describe what I am feeling. Part of it too might be the bfing hormones...gotta love em
 
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