Who have you told so far? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 06:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I told DH that I suspected I might be pregnant just over a week ago, but only tested + last Thursday, when I, of course, told him that it was confirmed. He's pretty happy about it, though we weren't expecting to get pregnant quite so soon.

I told my mom yesterday on Skype because I'd been talking to her during the week, and complaining about feeling a bit tired and sick (this was before I knew for sure) and she asked if I could be pregnant. I sort of brushed it off, but I knew she suspected anyway. So I decided to tell her sooner rather than later, particularly because I'm a bit freaked out because of my PTSD from last traumatic birth and I know I'll need someone other than DH to talk to.

And I sort of told DD - she found the pregnancy test and wanted to know what it was, so I told her it meant that mama was growing a tiny baby in her tummy and that it might turn into a baby brother or sister for her in a long long time. (She's not even two yet, so not sure how much of that sank in!!)

But DH seems a bit miffed that I've told my mom and DD - he keeps saying that it's tempting fate and that it's much to early to be telling people. I don't think it's unreasonable to tell a few select people in the early stages, because for me last time that was the toughest part of the pregnancy up until the last few weeks, when I was exhausted all the time and sick and nobody knew I was pregnant so I just had to keep pretending that everything was okay.

So what do you guys think? Is it silly to tell anybody in the early days, or is it acceptable to tell a few people, or do you shout it from the rooftops as soon as you get a BFP? Who have you told so far?

Lisa - mama to Eleanor Rose 01/08 and Saoirse Lily 09/10
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#2 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 08:21 AM
 
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I've only told three close friends (and you guys). I probably won't tell anyone else until late December.
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#3 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 09:16 AM
 
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I've only told DH and you guys.... I'm feeling shy about telling others. I tried telling my mom and BF, but chickened out. We'll probably tell only our immediate family and select friends, when we get around to it. For now, I am enjoying the beautiful secret.

It is my work friends that I am unsure of when to tell them. I work at a hospital as a nurses aide and I worry of how I may react to difficult patients, some of the common sights and smells associated with our care and the stress. So, I'm leaning more towards to telling later than sooner. Not sure. Its too soon now, maybe after the New Year or the beginning of 2nd trimester.

Bekah (33): Doula and CNA sharing a great life with DH for 10 yrs now, momma to DS Baron (7/10)
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#4 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 10:20 AM
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Only my husband knows. We'll tell the boys at Xmas (which we're actually celebrating a couple days late) and then everyone else. It's not going to be easy! I really want to tell my friends. Not looking forward to telling my mom, who doesn't think anyone should have more than 2 kids (this is our third and last) and has been trying to talk me out of it in the 4 yrs. since my second was born.
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#5 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 12:04 PM
 
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I've told everybody. I'm not good at keeping secrets as it was I waited two days after I found out, which usually doesn't happen. lol

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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#6 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 12:22 PM
 
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I've told dh (of course!) two close friends and you guys. Then, this morning I told my Mom and let her know it was ok to tell my Dad and Aunt (they all work together).

It was really fun - my Mom is so excited! I swore her to secrecy because we want to tell all of my sisters & the rest of the family at Christmas.

Candacepeace.gif, Married to dh   guitar.gif, Mom to ds (8) biggrinbounce.gif , Gavin candle.gif (9/30/10 - 12/19/10) and cautiously expecting our rainbow1284.gif 4-29-12

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#7 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 12:45 PM
 
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I told my dh, our children, and a few friends.

My oldest (age 10) is very observant...and she figured it out by herself pretty quick b/c she has been waiting for this. It is fun to answer their questions and they are amazed to listen to details like how tiny the baby is right now but how different mommy is feeling! I am finishing up a really intense semester of online schooling and I let them know how much mommy appreciates the sacrifices and changes everyone has made these past few months. They were REALLY happy to hear about the baby.

 Mama to my tribe
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#8 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 01:01 PM
 
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I've told DH, our boys & my SIL. I have a hard time keeping it quiet, but I haven't felt the right time yet. Especially at Thanksgiving at my parents house when someone asked if we had enough kids yet and I said no, then my mom says "Oh Meredyth" all exasperated. So I'm guessing that would've been a bad time to say we're expecting

Meredyth partners.gif Travis, Mama to my boys J, L, E & my girl B
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#9 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 01:37 PM
 
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I had the cutest idea for telling the mom that I was pregnant, but it backfired because UPS didn't do their job, so she didn't get the stick that I peed on until after Thanksgiving, but I did get to surprise her!

I was on the phone with my IM (intended mom) when her doorbell rang with a delivery of a Christmas arrangement for their dining room table.
The card said: The summertime is lots of fun,
And even more with a little one.
Coming this August, day or night,
A new baby makes it just right!

IM came back to the phone screaming "it's positive? OMG, you're pregnant?!"... it was awesome!!!! She couldn't stop crying, and neither could I of course! At one point she thought she was going to throw up even! When she told her dh, he just about flipped too!
Everyone else around me knows because this is such a difficult thing to go through that I need as much support as I can get.

Mama to my own amazing children..student midwife..home birth activist..and gestational surrogate-twin boys weighing 7lbs3oz & 8lbs4oz...vaginal, unmedicated forced induction @ 38w5d
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#10 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 01:54 PM
 
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Meredyth When I announced to my grandma she said, "Oh Nichole."

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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#11 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 02:16 PM
 
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With my first two we told really early. I can remember MIL asking DH why we were telling so early.

I think we'll wait with this one-partly because I don't think family will be over the top about it. Money is a little tight right now and I'm afraid of being judged about planning a 3rd

Lisa, mama to A (3/05) and R (11/07) and L (8/10)
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#12 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 02:37 PM
 
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We've told our families and a few close friends. I'm going to wait a while to tell work and other friends.

DH is ready to tell everyone, he says, "I'm not worried" even though I'm still a bit nervous.

Paula, mama to DS M (7/2010) sleepytime.gif and Watson (1998) dog2.gif and welcoming baby Penny (8/1/2013) babyf.gif

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#13 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 07:03 PM
 
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Only DH. We'll probably tell his mother at Christmas but otherwise we like to keep it quiet until the end of the first trimester.

We don't usually tell the kids until I'm obviously showing. Our oldest is only 7 and they all struggle with waiting and time - waiting for Christmas is hard enough! I would tell if I thought they'd figured it out though. So far, I think they're in the dark and they just think mummy's not feeling well. Which is true enough, I suppose!

Annie '02, Juliet '04, Natalie '07, Maggie '08, Theodore 11/8/10.
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#14 of 30 Old 11-30-2009, 10:22 PM
 
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I told my husband, and we both told our parents on Thanksgiving, with the caveat that it is VERY early. (We also asked them not to spread the news to aunts, uncles, etc.) I haven't really told any friends yet. It seems crazy that my two best girlfriends don't know about something so huge!
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#15 of 30 Old 12-01-2009, 05:49 PM
 
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I told my 2 closest friends the day of our BFP. DH told his family on Thanksgiving. I told my family this past Sunday. I'm nervous about telling so early, but I figured if something does happen then I'll need the support regardless.

Wife to 8/07, SAHM to DS1 12/08 & DS2 7/10
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#16 of 30 Old 12-02-2009, 12:06 PM
 
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We basically told everyone except folks at work (with the exception of my two best friends at work who are sworn to secrecy). I told my husband he has to tell his boss before the 11th because I'm going out to dinner with his boss' & coworker's wives and I know I'm going to tell them. I'm too happy to not tell, if that backfires on me for telling so early I'll deal with that if something happens.

Laurie & Dave having baby #1! Our SON is due 8/4/2010
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#17 of 30 Old 12-02-2009, 12:56 PM
 
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Aside from DH and the internet , I've only told one friend at work. We're planning to wait until Christmas to tell our families, and then I'll tell a few more friends. I have a neat way of telling worked out for our families. It's kind of become a tradition among my brother and I (and our three combined pregnancies, not counting my m/c, which came before I could tell many people), to tell in a funny way.

Amy (34): mommy to DD1 (11/07) and DD2 (7/10), wife, wohm, and wannabe suburban homesteader.
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#18 of 30 Old 12-02-2009, 02:06 PM
 
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I've only told DH, and the internet. Here and one other forum I'm apart of. Everyone else will be told around Christmas.

Carrie - Christian, tandem nursing, knittin' mommy to my two little intact, cloth diapered, vax free boys CJ 4-4-08 and squishy Camden born at home 8-3-10!
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#19 of 30 Old 12-02-2009, 02:41 PM
 
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With Xander we didn't find out we were pregnant until I was almost to the second trimester, a missed period didn't mean much when you don't have regular cycles. I finally took the test to prove to my husband that I just had a bad bug (puking all the time)-- infertile remember! Only to collapse in the hallway laughing and crying cause for the first time it was positive. Well, dh was on the phone with his Mom at the time so my in-laws found out at the exact same time we did. Then I called my Mom and my sister (giving permission to the new Grandmas to spread the news).

So this time round, we found out we were pregnant right away, I mean, I was testing before the period was missed. So I wanted to wait until we we're farther along before telling people, however I can not keep a secret. Once I actually got a positive sign I was bubbling over with news. As soon as dh got home from work he called his folks and then I called my Mom. Oh, and my Dad. Last time I forgot to call him and he found out from reading my blog-- oops!

So, we've told everyone, family, friends, our vet when we went to pick up dog food, announced it on Facebook, today my dh will be telling his coworkers. See, I cannot keep a secret.

Kate, 38, happily married to Ryan, 38, since 1991. 16+ years of infertility ended with "Surprise" Xander, born via c-section due to footling breech 01/09. Miscarriage at 6 weeks 12/09.
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#20 of 30 Old 12-02-2009, 06:19 PM
 
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We have told our Donor and his wife (obviously), our Bradley instructor(and a good Friend), and our next door neighbor. THAT IS IT... It is killing us

S & Yrainbow1284.gif (Vermont Civil Union 7/8/03) DS1 Holdennovaxnocirc.gif (4/25/07) and two in heaven  angel.gif1/10 &  angel.gif5/10 our rainbow1284.gif is here  DS2 Keegan(5/23/11)homebirth.jpg
 
 
 
  

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#21 of 30 Old 12-02-2009, 08:58 PM
 
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DH, my mom, DD (who brought it up first: "mommy, you got a baby in there?" ), my chiropractor, two friends, you all, and tonight i told my dad.

i think we're waiting till our first apptmt (the 18th), at which i hope they'll do an ultrasound to date the pregnancy, and then we may start telling people.

dissertating wife of Boo, mama of one "mookie" lovin' 2 year old girl! intactlact:: CTA until 7/10 FF 1501dc
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#22 of 30 Old 12-02-2009, 10:51 PM
 
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I'm awful at keeping secrets. It's a good thing dh was still home when I tested or he wouldn't have been the first to know. Within an hour I told my SIL -- she told me really early when she got pregnant this spring and a few months ago I asked if she'd want to know early and keep it quiet or wait, and she said she'd hold it in. I've told everyone I know online. I've been blogging about TTC and my sister and some IRL friends read it, so it'll come out to them soon. I'm hoping to keep it fairly quiet and make a big announcement at Christmas, but it might be pretty leaked by then.

Mama to Peter (3/8/04), Leo (3/12/06), Timothy (7/24/10), and boy #4 due on the summer solstice 2014
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#23 of 30 Old 12-04-2009, 12:14 PM
 
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I told a close friend, the man, you guys (obviously), and he told one of his friends...oh, and I told the girls on another forum I've been part of since I was pregnant with my (now) six year old. That's it so far. No family yet...no one we werk with. Not sure when we'll tell. This was definitely an OOPS baby, so telling family is likely to be less than fun.

Jenn...27 year old photographer momma to my three boys (who are 9, 6 and 4), and a "step-daughter" (who is 5). The man and I are expecting our (OOPS!) 1st together...due in August we think.
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#24 of 30 Old 12-04-2009, 01:27 PM
 
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We wanted to wait until Christmas to tell everyone, but figured we should tell our parents pretty quickly, because they've been bugging us for our Christmas lists, and well, priorities really changed quickly with that one! They want us to tell SIL, mostly because they can't contain the excitement themselves! Telling my mom tomorrow. Maybe today.

I've told one (pregnant) friend at work and one other co-worker, who I've been talking to a lot about future family plans, and she asked about updates. But, it's hard to keep my mouth shut. I'll open that can of worms after the holiday break.

Expecting our first in early August 2010!
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#25 of 30 Old 12-04-2009, 01:37 PM
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So far, we've told... the doctor, my therapist (bc the beginning is the scariest part for me) and that's it.
If/When i get another round of bloodwork done, and possibly after an U/S when we find out things are going right, we will tell our parents and siblings. During our first pg, DH told his best friend who told like EVERYONE and it made me really upset. The ILs and my parents were bugging us to tell all of our extended family too, and we were not ready for that. The worst was the un-telling part. it wasnt fun going to parties and having people offer their excitement and have to tell them, "um, I'm not pregnant anymore." without breaking down...

so this time, we're trying to play it a little safer. at least wait till we're comfortable ourselves, and ready to fight off the pleas from our families to tell the whole world!

My sister is pg with twins; she is due in April/May, and hers is also a hard-won pregnancy. I want her to still enjoy some of "her own" time in the lime light, too. She and BIL will have their hands full.

The babymoon isn't over! Our long awaited A born 7/18/10, making us laugh and smile every day.
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#26 of 30 Old 12-11-2009, 06:48 PM
 
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My husband knows, and we are going to try not to tell anyone (except maybe my mom, at Christmas) until I'm done with the first trimester. We told ALL our friends at a potluck that we had the first time I was pregnant, then we had to tell ALL of them when we had the miscarriage and it was hard. Everyone was very supportive, which was awesome, and I've heard the argument that you feel as if you have to "act normal" if you do end up m/c and no one knew you were pregnant in the first place, but as of right now, not telling feels right. I kind of like the idea of it being our little secret for the time being. Although I have a BIG mouth and suspicious friends, so it may be easier said than done!

Amanda, livin' and lovin' in Memphis w/ Brandon & Eliza (8.15.10)! 6/2009.
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#27 of 30 Old 12-11-2009, 10:40 PM
 
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I've only told DP and SIL. I'm not uttering a word to my co-workers or supervisors about it for at least two more months. I've only been with the company for 10 months and am waiting until after I hit the 1 year mark to announce it, so they can't make up a reason to fire me, or force me into quitting.
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#28 of 30 Old 12-12-2009, 02:03 AM
 
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I posted it on facebook the minute I got my positive test...so everyone!
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#29 of 30 Old 12-12-2009, 02:42 AM
 
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I've told my husband and one friend (who told her partner). We're not planning on telling anyone else until almost the 3 mo mark because we've known a few people that have had miscarriages and my husband is nervous about it. However, even though my 3 year old son hasn't been told, a couple of days before I did the test he told my mother-in-law that we were going to have a baby soon. weird.
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#30 of 30 Old 12-12-2009, 01:03 PM
 
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I got my BFP two days ago and want to tell everyone and no one at the same time. I told my DH to not tell anyone, to have it be our secret for a few more weeks. Even though I'm aching to tell my BFs I'm just worried it's too early to announce it to anyone plus I'm not ready for the barrage of questions that follow when I don't have things decided or figured out! Like when I was getting married I had a bridesmaid that constantly asked me questions about centerpieces and floral arrangements and all these other details I didn't think were important to have or decide on and it stressed me out! Anyways I just found out last night that DH let the beans spill to his BF. He says he was excited and needed to tell someone and he promised not to tell anyone (even though his DW is a talker). So I got mad, but I'm over it, b/c it means he IS excited. I guess that means I can tell my BFs but there's no way I'm telling my parents any time soon. They are worriers and I"m not ready to handle that energy. I'm thinking of telling them at the earliest at 2 or 3 months, is that mean? But we plan to tell DH's immediate family at Christmas b/c it's important to him. So, as of now, only MDC, DH and DH BF knows. Plus my BFs will know soon enough because it's hard keeping it inside! All I think about all day is this little poppyseed growing inside.

DD: 8/10

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