OT Pity Party - Mothering Forums
August 2010 > OT Pity Party
limette's Avatar limette 12:43 PM 02-18-2010
I'm super depressed today. I'm venting here because I can't talk to dh about this because he takes it as an insult to his money making skills.

I know that there are people with much worse issues in the world. That's irrelevant, it's not going to make me any less depressed about this.

I have three major dreams, that I've had since I was little.

1. Tropical vacation. I live somewhere cold and snowy, we get "summer" for maybe 2 months. The rest of the year is cold and yucky. When my grandmother went to Florida when I was a teenager, she was reluctant to tell me and when she did I bawled. I had the opportunity to go somewhere hot before that and it fell threw. At this point in my life it's never going to happen, whatever I can deal, it's the next two that kill me.

2. Live in the country on an
acreage. Not going to happen. I've been looking for years and nothing even remotely suitable comes up.

3. Have a house (smaller than the one I'm in ) built on acreage. Preferably off grid. This is even less likely than the other two as it'll never be in our budget.

I have been dealing with the loss of my dreams quite well until recently. A friend on my facebook, who as far as I can tell is in the same income range purchased a house on 75 acres of land, then went on a month long vacay to an extremely pricey resort in Hawaii. Yesterday she announced that they will be building a house on the land. All of this in less than a year. I had to take her off my friend list.

I'm sure she deserves all this good luck but come on. Dh and I had horrible poverty stricken childhoods and have worked our asses off to get where we are. I've met some horrible people who get everything they want handed to them on a silver platter.


Vent over.

andtay23's Avatar andtay23 01:30 PM 02-18-2010
I'm sorry things haven't turned out according to plan...and yet have seemed to for your friend.

Hope the venting made you feel a bit better.
matey's Avatar matey 04:50 PM 02-18-2010
I know you are just venting, and I have been there, I know sometimes I wish I had a place to just blow up about thing that I want NO ONE to know. I have IRL friends on here though, so I cant really do it on here. I was just wondering how good of friends you are with your friend. Like are you going to regret unfriending her or is it going to cause problems in your relationship?
limette's Avatar limette 05:21 PM 02-18-2010
I feel a bit better now having vented.

She probably won't even notice that I unfriended her. She's an acquaintance I maybe run into once a year.
matey's Avatar matey 06:00 PM 02-18-2010
Ok, then, no biggie. Glad you feel better. I am kinda jealous that you got such a fabulous vent session in.
rightkindofme's Avatar rightkindofme 07:19 PM 02-18-2010
I have a 100% anonymous blog that I have never given anyone access to. (In addition to my normal public blog.) That's where I go to rant and talk about all my pissy, will get me in trouble, LIFE ISN'T FAIR stuff. Don't get me wrong: I vent on my real blog too, but there are some things you just can't say in front of anyone because they will give you $h!t.

Vent away chica. Life isn't fair and sometimes it sucks so hard. There have been horrible parts of my life where it just seemed like the universe was pissing all over me. I'm not in that place right now and you can feel free to hate my guts. I won't take it personally.
lunarlady's Avatar lunarlady 08:44 PM 02-19-2010
I actually read your post yesterday, and it has been stewing in the back of my mind all day today. Here's what I think: Don't give up on your dreams! Sometimes, it is not the actual fullfillment of the dream that makes life wonderful, but the pursuit of the dream itself. My DD loves the movie "Up", and if you haven't seen it, that is the whole theme of that movie. Sometimes, the realization of a dream is not as wonderful as the life you live while pursuing that dream.

And who knows, maybe one of the little ones you are nurturing now will grow up, buy a cattle ranch on thousands of acres somewhere warm (I'm thinking Texas), and build you a little off grid retirement home there so you can be close to your grandchildren. As long as there is life, there is a chance to fullfill your dreams.

As for those people who are fullfilling their dreams at an early age, just think -- what are they going to long for next? Because isn't it true that most of us have a dream that is beyond where we are now? Maybe in a few years you will reconnect with that person that acheived those dreams that you have, and discover that she is not all that much happier than you are in your life.

It's all a balance. I, too, would love an off-grid house in the countryside, but I would trade it in a second for my DH and my DD. They are true joy, more than any material thing. But that doesn't mean I give up my dreams! My husband jokes that our current house is a 10 year house, the next house will be a 20 year house, and then maybe I can have my "dream" house. (Note that in 30 years my kids should be grown, maybe with kids of their own, and I should be (hopefully) ready to retire and collect a pension.) In the mean time, I'm happy with my veggie garden, decent house, and happy family. Yet I still say things like "when we build our house, it is going to have the best windows we can get so that it stays warm in the winter!" Of course, in 30 years when I'm building my dream house, maybe I won't be moving someplace that HAS winter. Ha!

I hope the weekend brings you some joys in your life, and that you either have some new dreams develop or decide to maybe allow those old dreams of yours to continue to simmer in the back of your mind. As a final thought, for the record, I think your dreams are perfectly reasonable. I mean it's not like you're saying you want to be a billionare with a private plane, or that you want to win an Olympic medal for gymnastics. Maybe they won't come true in 5 years, or 10 years, or even 20. But who knows what surprises the future will bring?