ME: I'm SO Hungry. MY MOM: Have some lettuce. - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 16 Old 03-24-2010, 02:58 PM - Thread Starter
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ME: Well, actually, I'm pregnant, so maybe lettuce won't cut it. You know, since it's mostly water, mom.
MOM: OK, have some spinach.

Really?!



OK, so I know that I am overweight. I get that. It's not like I dont look in the mirror or step on a scale. BUT, I see a nutritionist who is NOT worried about my weight at all, and says the current gain I've had so far (0 lbs, and 8 down from pre-pg weight) is perfect. Apparently, my goal should still be weight loss according to my mom. When I told her I was still down from pre-pg weight, she said, "Oh! Good!!" OMFG are.you.serious?


As a S/O of the "wow you're huge" comments...

WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IT'S OK TO GIVE UNSOLICITED NUTRITIONAL ADVICE just because I'm pregnant???????? Would you say that to me if I were not pregnant? (well, in all honesty, she probably would have... but still.)

This morning when I said, "Coffee time!" as I do every morning, someone responded, "Oh. How much are you drinking these days?" When I said, "oooh, maybe 1/2 cup total per day." Her answer: "Good Girl." I said, "actually, the MW said I'm OK to have a WHOLE cup, but I usually just dont finish it."

I'm pregnant, not a bumbling idiot.

[/RANT]

*breathe* now I feel better. and possibly now I can laugh about it. <test> <test> nope- still a little raw here.

The babymoon isn't over! Our long awaited A born 7/18/10, making us laugh and smile every day.
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#2 of 16 Old 03-24-2010, 03:08 PM
 
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My last pregnancy I started obese. When I was hungry, I would get things like "try an apple." Thanks, That really isnt going to cut it though. When I was like 11 weeks along, we were in italy with my family. I would get really sick feeling if I didnt eat every couple hours, and we were walking like maniacs. After being up for hours and hanging out in the vatican, I got a crossiant hours after breakfast, and my dad (who usually never makes weight comments) was like "DOnt you think you should slow it down a bit." He isnt a trim guy, not huge, but he's got a stomach. He was skipping lunches and eating a huge meat dish and get big bowls of pasta with tons of fatty appetizers at dinner. I just wanted to scream at him to examine his own eating habits brfore critcizing my PREGNANT eating habits.

I lost a lot of weight so I started this pregnancy just a little overweight. Now people are like, "so what, look at all the weight you lost before, eat whatever you want, why are you worried, you can lose it again." It's annoying.
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#3 of 16 Old 03-24-2010, 03:15 PM - Thread Starter
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seriously. I wanted to say, "It would take an entire field of baby spinach to make me feel satiated!!" and still, if it didnt have some fat in there in the form of delicious cheese or meat, then it still might not fill me up.

I wonder what she was eating when she was pg with me?! ugh. it's no wonder i have weight issues.

The babymoon isn't over! Our long awaited A born 7/18/10, making us laugh and smile every day.
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#4 of 16 Old 03-24-2010, 03:24 PM
 
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ahh! I'm sorry you have to deal with that. It sucks so bad that so many women are treated like crap because of WEIGHT.
My mom says weird stuff like "Are you getting fat yet?!" and when I told her I haven't really gained much but look huge she says "oh the babys just using up all of your fat then!" - Yay mom! It's not like shes being totally rude or even trying to sound like that but why the heck is "fat" the issue? And the FIRST thing my dad talked about when I told him I was pregnant was how much to eat and stuff - really dad, when's the last time you were pregnant? I'm pretty sure my mom had an eating disorder when she was pregnant with me and before so she was TINY.
They live states away and I haven't sent any pregnant pictures of me yet because I'm afraid they will say something upsetting.
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#5 of 16 Old 03-24-2010, 03:34 PM
 
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gosh, don't these people realize that you NEED protein? And FAT? Good sources, yes, but still. I eat spinach, but not to fill me up. That's what protein and fat are for. DUH.

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#6 of 16 Old 03-24-2010, 06:05 PM
 
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People are really, really ticking me off this pregnancy. My next door coworker is fond of looking in my office and saying "are you eating again?!" It was a bit of a joke between us for a while, but now it's getting old.

And if someone questioned my coffee consumption, I'd have to poor it over their head.

Amy (34): mommy to DD1 (11/07) and DD2 (7/10), wife, wohm, and wannabe suburban homesteader.
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#7 of 16 Old 03-24-2010, 06:24 PM
 
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It's just a really bad way to treat a woman busy making new life. Honestly, if people close to a pregnant woman have real concerns (because they know her, love her) and she is really messing up, then have a private and honest discussion-making dumb comments is not helpful. 99% of the time, this isn't the case anyway! It's more of a case of people wanting to feel better about themselves.

Most pregnant women are not beacons of perfection...most humans aren't. So that leaves they are either hypocritical, or holier than thou. You know, think they've perfected the art of being pregnant (I still haven't) and want everyone to know it. "I never ate an artificial additive when I was pregnant" sure..sure..possible, highly unlikely, so please stay out of my womb and pantsize.

Besides, any pregnant woman who hasn't gotten lectured on nutrition, water intake, rest, saltine crackers, etc., from well-meaning family, co-workers, web-sites, OB's, midwives would be an extremely rare event...so save the whole patronizing event, wouldya please?

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#8 of 16 Old 03-25-2010, 03:17 AM
 
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Ugh, my mum is the same. I mentioned I'm still losing weight from being so sick, and she was thrilled

Mum to Quinn, Aug 14th 2010
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#9 of 16 Old 03-25-2010, 09:46 AM
 
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I've only gotten positive comments this pg so far (maybe because I'm already as big as I was at 6-7 months last time) but with DS this one woman at work always made a point of checking out my lunch, commenting on sodium or fat content. I also went to the coffeeshop for a walk every day and would get a decaf chai - that always got a raised eyebrow from her about my "coffee" consumption. When I lost 8 lbs during the first tri (from my pre-pg weight of 125) she praised me!!! I was sick and upset about not being able to nourish my growing baby, and she told me every day how great I looked being so thin and how lucky I was! (She knew I was pg because she was our HR person and I had some concerns about missing work.) Some people are just insensitive busybodies and feel it's their right to comment, no matter your weight or how responsible you are. Don't take it personally.

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#10 of 16 Old 03-25-2010, 10:38 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks girls! In theory, I know I'm not "alone" in being the recipient of these kinds of comments, but gee, it does feel good to see it for real.

So, my mom actually emailed me to "clarify." she said that when she eats carbs or protein before bed, she gets indigestion- so that's why she suggested that I eat lettuce (and then it's much more "nutritionally dense" cousin spinach). She said that it was my "negativity" that projected a negative connotation onto her comment, and that I shouldn't be so negative all the time. Um, maybe you should have said, "well, if you are going to bed soon, have some veggies so you dont get indigestion." not telling your overweight, with weight issues pregnant daughter that she should have lettuce for dinner. So, not an apology at all... just some kind of an explanation of why it's my fault that I was upset by it.


I always envoisioned my mom being the "most supportive" person of me during my pg, next to my DH. Guess I was wrong.

well- doesnt this just go from bad to worse...

The babymoon isn't over! Our long awaited A born 7/18/10, making us laugh and smile every day.
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#11 of 16 Old 03-26-2010, 11:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyKT View Post
People are really, really ticking me off this pregnancy. My next door coworker is fond of looking in my office and saying "are you eating again?!" It was a bit of a joke between us for a while, but now it's getting old.

And if someone questioned my coffee consumption, I'd have to poor it over their head.
my dp said that to me the other day.... he shut up pretty quick with the look i gace him

my boobs are eeeevil.................eeevil i tells ya....
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#12 of 16 Old 03-26-2010, 02:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LZP View Post
So, my mom actually emailed me to "clarify." she said that when she eats carbs or protein before bed, she gets indigestion- so that's why she suggested that I eat lettuce (and then it's much more "nutritionally dense" cousin spinach). She said that it was my "negativity" that projected a negative connotation onto her comment, and that I shouldn't be so negative all the time. Um, maybe you should have said, "well, if you are going to bed soon, have some veggies so you dont get indigestion." not telling your overweight, with weight issues pregnant daughter that she should have lettuce for dinner. So, not an apology at all... just some kind of an explanation of why it's my fault that I was upset by it.
Ggrrrr....I hate those types of 'apologies'. DP made this mistake the other day. He made some comment about me acting 'crazy' (which I admittedly was, pregnancy hormones got the best of me), but come on, you don't SAY that to a pregnant lady. Then when I tried to tell him how hurt I was he said, "well, I'm sorry you feel that way." What?! Why even bother apologizing.

The weight and food comments are just uncalled for IMO. Like others have said, most people wouldn't dare make a comment like that to someone who wasn't pregnant. Somehow being pregnant gives people freedom to be jerks. My mom was making comments about me looking 'fat' when I first started showing. Right in that in between stage when that is the last thing you need someone to tell you. The thing is, I don't have weight issues. I may not be at my fittest right now, but my BMI is still normal, even with the lbs I've gained in pregnancy. Needless to say, it still sucks to get a comment like that no matter what weight you are. Moms to be have enough stress and worry on their plate, people need to learn to be a little nicer.

Happily unmarried to DP guitar.gifParenting: DD (March '06) energy.gifwaterbirth.jpg, DS (August '10) fly-by-nursing1.giffamilybed1.gifhomebirth.jpg, and our furry kids dog2.gifGuiney Pig, dog2.gifPo the POlice, and cat.gifMrs. Puff. Loving WAHM life in the Mortgage Bizz with DP.

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#13 of 16 Old 03-26-2010, 05:16 PM
 
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I solve these problems by not being very nice. I find that it only takes saying one time, "Yes I am f'ing eating. What is your f'ing point." People never say a word after that.

And for lettuce I would say: "Only if you are going to get off your @$$ and go prep the avocado, fruit, nuts, cheese, and other veggies that will need to bloody well go on it in order for it to represent food."

Here, let me write you ladies a blank check on defending yourselves in strong words. It's helpful!

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#14 of 16 Old 03-26-2010, 05:53 PM
 
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In my first pregnancy I was put on the Atkins diet by my midwife because I was too fat. She never said that outright, but would tell me stories about women who would end thier pregnacies 90 pounds lighter after doing Atkins during pregnancy. It was very obvious what she was getting at. I would cry leaving her office until 1 day I just decided I'd eat the way I knew was healthy for pregnancy (brewer diet) & lie to her.

Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

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#15 of 16 Old 03-26-2010, 07:31 PM
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I enjoyed 3 cups of coffee today.
I'm normally thin, but I gained 50 lbs. with my last pregnancy, and when I told my mom I've only gained 10 lbs. so far this time, she said, "That's because you're not eating like such a pig this time."
Thanks mom. Or maybe it's because I was really sick for the end of December, all of January, and part of February and was coughing until I puked several times a day, and probably lost several pounds of muscle because I was barely able to walk. At least I haven't gained too much though!
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#16 of 16 Old 03-26-2010, 10:37 PM
 
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Oh my gaahhhh!
I swear right now I won't ever say anything so horrible to my daughter, EVER! I have to keep telling my mom that i'm not fat, I'm pregnant. hahah! gahh!
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