OT: Very hard week for us - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 03-27-2010, 03:38 PM - Thread Starter
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Our nearly 17 yr old cat has been deteriorating since the day of my 8 week prenatal when she went blind. Yesterday we made the choice to have her put to sleep. It was so, so hard. We'd done it before 1.5 yrs ago but that cat had developed pretty severe dementia and it was somehow easier since she was already mentally gone. This kitty though was my absolute favorite and in our lives for so long. I can't really imagine life without her.

We took her to the vet yesterday afternoon for the procedure and took almost 3 yr old DS. He got super squirrelly, making it really hard to focus on what was going on. I think it was his way of reacting to the stress. Then we went out to dinner because we didn't want to come home yet to our kitty-less house and on the way into the restaurant he was so squirrelly while I was holding his hand walking that he pulled me down. I guess the pregnancy contributed to loosing my balance, and we both landed face down on the sidewalk. I ended up the worst with a badly bruised right knee and a scraped up/torn pants left knee and burning hands. I just lay there on the ground sobbing. I felt so pathetic. And man did the waterworks kick in. DS was uncharacteristically a nightmare at dinner, right when we needed him to be "good", you know?

And, today I'm solo parenting and it's not going well. DS is driving me crazy and I keep crying.

Just needed some support.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#2 of 13 Old 03-27-2010, 03:56 PM
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I am so sorry mama! That is always a rough decision to have to make. The little ones pick up on our energy/vibes so much more than we realize & it usually causes them to do exactly the opposite of what we really need them to do. I hope DS calms for you soon.

Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

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#3 of 13 Old 03-27-2010, 05:07 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss and that you're having a rough week, I hope things get better soon.
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#4 of 13 Old 03-27-2010, 10:18 PM
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Oh, I am so so sorry s Losing a furry family member is so incredibly hard. 17 years is a long time to have your kitty! Be sure to give yourself lots of time to work through your loss. It sounds like DS is reacting in his own way to your emotional turmoil and understanding where your kitty is.

When I lost my dog of 12 years (who had gotten me through the roughest parts of adolescence) I was devastated. My housemate at the time was a chaplain at a large Boston hospital, and suggested that I put up some of my favorite pictures of my dog where I would see them frequently through the day. I thought he was nuts, given that I would start crying every time I even thought of my dog. But I was so, so, depressed that I finally gave it a try, and it actually really did help since I felt a little closer to her every time I looked at a happy picture of her. It helped remind me that as long as I hold on to happy memories of her, she is still with me.

s mama. It will get better, really it will.

Loving being a stay at home mamma to DD 10/07, and newly arrived DS 7/26/10
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#5 of 13 Old 03-27-2010, 11:20 PM
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I'm so sorry. It is hard to lose a pet.

Live and love with your whole being.
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#6 of 13 Old 03-28-2010, 04:24 AM
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I'm so sorry you're going through this hard time!
I lost my two cats when I was pregnant with DS and it broke my heart - never a worse time for these things than when you are pregnant and vulnerable already. sending you hugs and healing vibes!

Franziska , DW to )oi , SAHM to Noah 06/2008, Sophia 08/2010, and Junis 11/2012

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#7 of 13 Old 03-28-2010, 10:46 AM
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I'm so sorry to hear about your cat I hope you are doing better today and take it slow. Are you ok from falling down?
Pets are such amazing creatures, the non-verbal communication, the love and comfort. Honestly one of the several reasons I wanted to get pregnant at this time in my life is that my dog can be here with me. I read something yesterday, a woman described her cat as "an angel disguised as a cat". I couldn't agree more. Take time with you loss. I love the pictures idea posted above. And embrace your loss. Some people might think "it's only a pet", but those of us that know the truth, it is a devastating loss. These creatures are so embedded in the minutia of our everyday. And this is more involved than some friends or loved ones.
I think this is Dr. Suess, "Don't cry that it's over, but smile that it happened".
Hope you feel better!
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#8 of 13 Old 03-28-2010, 11:48 AM
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Oh Megan, I'm so sorry Mama. It is so , so hard I know. In the whole scheme of things their time with us is so short and it's never, ever enough.
We are truly the only one's who can make the decision when it is time to let them and help them go. They depend on us to make that decision and follow through, no matter how painful it is. we are their humans and they trust us and love us unconditionally. Even though it doesn't feel like it in the moment I always try to remind myself in the following days that helping them move on was a final gift of my love and devotion. It doesn't help much when the loss is still fresh but in hindsighht I can see it more clearly and know I did what was needed and when it was time.
She's thankful Megan, and still around you.
Much love, peace and to you and ds and dw.

natural birthin', baby catchin', cloth addicted, intactalactavist mama of 12/00, 6/03, 10/07, 8/10 & our angelcubs three
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#9 of 13 Old 03-28-2010, 12:58 PM
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i'm so sorry. it's so hard to lose part of your family, especially since your cat was such a long part of your life. at least you were able to have 17 years with the kitty.

DD: 8/10

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#10 of 13 Old 03-29-2010, 03:27 AM
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So sorry, mama. My 12 year old dog went through a really bad spell a couple of months ago, and I thought we might lose him. It's so tough, but we make the best decisions we can to uphold our responsibilities to our furry family.

It may help to talk to your son about what happened and what you're both feeling. We just lost our midwife, and we just had to explain to our DD that Mama and Dada were very sad about our friend and we could use some hugs and snuggles. They understand a lot and giving them concrete ways to cope and support can help both of you.

Co-sleeping, Breastfeeding, EC'ing, Baby-wearing, Homebirthing mama to two fabulous girls 6/2007 and 8/2010
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#11 of 13 Old 03-29-2010, 04:10 AM
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I'm so sorry, what a loss. I love my cats like they are my babies, it's just so hard to lose a pet, especially after 17 years! But it sounds like you loved your cat, and gave her a wonderful life.

Mum to Quinn, Aug 14th 2010
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#12 of 13 Old 03-29-2010, 07:56 AM
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So sorry for your loss! A pet is really a member of the family!

We lost our kitty when DD was 6 months old. It was heartbreaking. I still miss her and think about her everyday!

Colleen (35) married to Brian (35) 11/06; DD Emilia 6/6/08; DS Breckin 8/2/10
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#13 of 13 Old 03-29-2010, 01:18 PM
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear pet. That is very difficult-I'm sure even more so with the emotions/realizations of pregnancy.

I also fell in my last pregnancy. I was 36 weeks, and fell down the 2 garage steps onto the hard concrete. I was all alone, too. My purse went flying and my cell phone out of it..I shielded my huge belly, but laid there and just bawled. I guess shocked, hands/knees in pain and emotional over feeling worried and like a kid that just laid there...

Anyway, all was well, and I'm so sorry. I know how scary it is. I hope this week is much better for you.

Blessed Christian Wife and Homeschooling Mother to 10 children.

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