Having your other children attend the birth? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 13 Old 04-08-2010, 02:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
Elisabeth1017's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 23
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My son will be 3 when this baby is born. I would like him to be there for the delivery. Has any one else had experience with this?
Elisabeth1017 is offline  
#2 of 13 Old 04-08-2010, 02:34 PM
 
Kristeremy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 291
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Our dd was 3.5 when ds was born at home. She was in and out during labor, helping give me sips of water and whatnot. She was there when he was born and helped cut the cord. It was wonderful. She'll be 6.5 and ds will be 3 when this one comes. They'll definitely be here. I do like to have a friend for them (less so for the 6yo, but for the little one) so they can come as go at their comfort level. Don't know who that's going to be yet. It may be our midwife's daughter.

Kristen, happy wife to Jeremy; Mama to dd (2/04) and ds (8/07) and two miscarried babies (9/05 & 5/06). And beginning to believe a baby may really be coming this summer.
Kristeremy is offline  
#3 of 13 Old 04-08-2010, 02:45 PM
 
bendmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Bend, Or
Posts: 1,380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was hoping ds1 would have been more into it, but he just wasn't. We ended up calling someone to come and watch him. He just wanted to play games and I think he was just to nervous about the whole thing, like performance anxiety, he just didnt' want to be there.

Aidan 8/11/99 Bryn 9/7/04 Jardin is here! 8/23/10 ~Kindness is My Religion~ Dalai Lama
bendmom is offline  
#4 of 13 Old 04-08-2010, 02:57 PM
 
CrunchyChristianMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 2,644
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
My DD will be 22 months when this one is born. We're not going to have her there for labor or birth. She is very sensitive to when I'm hurting and gets really upset and clingy...not something I would be able to deal with while laboring!

Elizabeth - Doing life with Scott partners.gif

SAHM to Evelyn - my crazy little Celiac (4) energy.gif Annabelle (2)  love.gif and Abraham (born 6/20) buddamomimg1.png
adoptionheart-1.gif  Follow our journey  mdcblog5.gif

CrunchyChristianMama is offline  
#5 of 13 Old 04-08-2010, 03:45 PM
 
shishkeberry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: In Potions class, daydreaming...
Posts: 1,779
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DDC crashing...although I am close to being in August.

I might have my DS there....we've watched some videos so he would know what to expect, and all he can say is "yucky". So I'm not sure yet.

DS 8/4/04 "You're my best mommy in the deep blue sea!"
****5****10****15****20****25****30****35****40*
shishkeberry is offline  
#6 of 13 Old 04-08-2010, 05:59 PM
 
limette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,452
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD1 was present for the entire labor and birth of her sister. She did fine but passed out on a chair for the actually delivery. She missed the best part.

Both kids will be present for baby #3's birth.

I have a doula who attends me and dh deals with the kids. The plan was for them to switch roles when the baby was ready to come out but as DD1 was sleeping last time, dh got to step in earlier.
limette is offline  
#7 of 13 Old 04-08-2010, 06:10 PM
 
dannic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,711
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Limette, I read yours as dd actually passing out, lol. I am tired of pregnancy brain!

I am a very internal birther. if I could guarantee that they would all play quietly and not be in my face (not the best way to put it, but you know what I mean--wanting my attention) then I wouldn't mind. I feel kinda bad for ds cuz I think as he'll be older with subsequent births I won't ever feel comfortable with him watching. I have a friend who allows all her kids to watch including teenage sons, and that would make me cringe.
I will however consider older daughters watching as I think that would be beneficial for them to see birth presented in a natural way.
But as it stands right now, I need no distractions during birth and as young as they are it would be distracting.
Last time around, they came in and kissed me goodbye and came home to baby. this time, they'll be next door at my mom's so they're awfully close and can be part of everything but the actual active labor and birth.

caution: one-handed nak

typos likely

dannic is offline  
#8 of 13 Old 04-08-2010, 06:31 PM
 
limette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,452
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
[QUOTE=dannic;15277409]Limette, I read yours as dd actually passing out, lol. I am tired of pregnancy brain!

I was just as shocking lol. She hadn't napped in 1.5 years and suddenly decided to take when at 3 in the afternoon. It was weird.
limette is offline  
#9 of 13 Old 04-08-2010, 06:35 PM
 
rightkindofme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 4,590
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)
My 27 month old (by then) will be present for the birth. We don't really have anywhere for her to go. Our midwife will be bringing her two youngest kids (one will be around a year and the other is about 12) and the 12 year old is on kid duty during the birth.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

rightkindofme is online now  
#10 of 13 Old 04-08-2010, 08:32 PM
 
lunarlady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,330
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I plan to have DD, who will be 3.75 yo at the time, attend our birth. I've arranged to have my MIL or mom available so that she can be taken in and out and given somebody's full time attention in case she finds the stituation overwhelming. We've started watching some YouTube videos of homebirths to prepare her, and she finds it facinating how the baby comes out of the yoni. There are a huge variety of videos, which is good, because I think they show how, in general, the woman makes some odd noises, the baby comes out slowly, and that newborn babies can look a little weird. But she loves it and is starting to get the general picture.

My DH attended the homebirth of his younger brother and sister. He was 3 for his brother and doesn't really remember much, but he was 5 for his sister and remembers helping his brother cut the cord. He thinks birth is totally natural and normal as a result, so I think it had a good long term effect on him.

CD'ing, homebirthing, milk making school teacher. Supporting my family on my income and trying to get out of debt in 2013!
lunarlady is offline  
#11 of 13 Old 04-09-2010, 12:01 AM
 
onemomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DS was just over 3 when DD was born and he was such a blessing on her birth day. My MIL was his support person, and throughout the day he was free to come and go as he pleased. I'd often lift my head after a contraction and notice he was on his hands and knees right beside me, breathing along with me. He was very sweet.
The only time I wanted a say in who was in the room was when I was pushing, and they respected that and waited outside the door until we called them in. He saw her come out, helped me figure out her gender, and helped clean her up and get her into a diaper. And then we all ate the birthday cake he had helped to make easrlier in the day. Perfect.
I hope both kids will be there for this babe's arrival.

Veggie, babywearing, cloth diapering, lactivist, intactivist, 2x HBAC, non-vaccing nurse and doula, wife of my babies' sweet Dada, Momma of 3 with another coming mid summer.

onemomma is offline  
#12 of 13 Old 04-10-2010, 11:25 AM
 
megan sacha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 794
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by onemomma View Post
My DS was just over 3 when DD was born and he was such a blessing on her birth day. My MIL was his support person, and throughout the day he was free to come and go as he pleased. I'd often lift my head after a contraction and notice he was on his hands and knees right beside me, breathing along with me. He was very sweet.
The only time I wanted a say in who was in the room was when I was pushing, and they respected that and waited outside the door until we called them in. He saw her come out, helped me figure out her gender, and helped clean her up and get her into a diaper. And then we all ate the birthday cake he had helped to make easrlier in the day. Perfect.
I hope both kids will be there for this babe's arrival.
This sounds lovely. DS will be 3.5 and we'd love for him to be there but he's very sensitive and I don't know if it will be too much for him. MIL and FIL will be caring for him and can bring him back and forth between home and the birth center as needed (only 10 mins away).

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

megan sacha is offline  
#13 of 13 Old 04-11-2010, 10:33 AM
 
mamabearsoblessed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: nursing about the foothills
Posts: 3,139
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My oldest dd is 9 and has been asking to be there. I am willing, but we are going to be talking about it a bit more and preparing of course. I am having another pain-med free hospital birth with my mw and think it would be great for dd to be there. But the hospital is 45 mins from home and that means another person to have 'around' if she wants to leave the room or go home alltogether. Not that big of a deal I guess but... I don't know, I don't really allow my kids in a car with anyone beside dh and my sister and I ( a whole other thread I know). Dh and sis are my team, so... I just pray this is a spontaneous labor and quick birth. Not long and intense inductions like my others. An 'oops' uc would be prime
I am not concerned with her seeing me in the pain of labor, she has seen video of her own birth and her sibs. I know it's not the same as being in the moment but I would love for her to be there and even cut the cord.
Dh isn't so sure but I think he'd come around if she seems 'prepared' to him.

natural birthin', baby catchin', cloth addicted, intactalactavist mama of 12/00, 6/03, 10/07, 8/10 & our angelcubs three
mamabearsoblessed is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off