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#1 of 45 Old 04-28-2010, 04:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is this your last pregnancy?

It is for us. We have an 18 month DD and this little guy coming will mean I will have 2 under 2 (for a short period of time).

DH and I have always wanted a family and now we feel like we have that. We are super busy people and want to be able to spend appropriate amounts of time with the kids and our work. I am sad that this will be our last child but with having a second c/s and my blood pressure issues during pregnancy we have decided that we should quit. I am also happy because I won't have to be pregnant anymore. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being pregnant, but I also love having my body to myself....and I will admit, I am not the nicest to my body sometimes when I am not pregnant I think it is because I feel like I keep missing out on summer while I am pregnant. I was pregnant the summer of '08, not in '09 but had a young baby and now I am again in '10. We spend a lot of time in the summer having get togethers and I do like to have a night to release once in a while LOL. I am also an avid dirtbiker and well, you can't do that while pregnant haha.

I feel like now we can have our careers and our children and it will work out perfectly.

Jaclyn, Madly in with DH, Scott. Mama to Calli Elizabeth (23 months) & our new little man, Bode Keam (9 weeks).
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#2 of 45 Old 04-28-2010, 05:13 PM
 
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This is almost certainly my last pregnancy. I'm 99% sure it is. There is the slight chance of an oops because we had to undergo fertility treatments for both babies and therefore aren't in the habit of being careful and don't use bc, but it's a long shot. It's definitely our last intended pregnancy. Like you, I'm ready to move on with the next phase of life, though I am trying to enjoy this phase while it lasts.

Amy (34): mommy to DD1 (11/07) and DD2 (7/10), wife, wohm, and wannabe suburban homesteader.
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#3 of 45 Old 04-28-2010, 05:16 PM
 
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More than likely. I will never say never again after what happened this time, but the way I look at it, is that it took us 7 years to get pregnant with this natural miracle, and 7 years from when this baby will be born I will be just over 39, so not exactly when I WANT to be having more babies.... Hubby says yes definitely he doesn't want to have children after about 33 or 35 and since I will most certainly still be nursing.... but I don't know if either of us would ever do anything to prevent.... we'll see what fate intends for us I guess.

Nicki wife to Rich, Mama to 7 y/o DS, and a beautiful Princess Aug 2010
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#4 of 45 Old 04-28-2010, 05:46 PM
 
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Yup, that's the plan. DH is going to book a vasectomy for himself after this LO arrives - I can't go through the stress again, we can't afford any more and I don't have it in me to be a mom to many. To be honest I find it hard enough to deal with just DD - I'm nervous about how I'll cope with the next one... Plus we both want me to be able to stay at home until the kids are school-age, which with this one would mean I'd have been out of employment for over 7 years. Another kid would likely have me looking at 10+ years out of the work-force, which is a bit much. I would actually like to get back to work at some point in the future!

Lisa - mama to Eleanor Rose 01/08 and Saoirse Lily 09/10
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#5 of 45 Old 04-28-2010, 07:07 PM
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This is our last. Phew.
I am sooo done. I hate that I have to be pregnant for another 3 months. I'm not looking forward to breastfeeding. I want Edie to be magically 4.
My husband is getting a vasectomy, probably sometime in May.
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#6 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 12:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DH is also getting a vasectomy. He wants to wait until September, after the baby is born and when things are winding down construction wise around here. He said it would be horrible for him to have to be busy and dealing with sore nads LOL. I can't say I blame him.

Jaclyn, Madly in with DH, Scott. Mama to Calli Elizabeth (23 months) & our new little man, Bode Keam (9 weeks).
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#7 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 08:41 AM
 
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This is our last too. Dh WILL be going for a vasectomy after this one arrives.

Mama to three sweet boys ('04, '07 and the new addition arrived on Sept 8, 2010)
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#8 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 09:33 AM
 
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We are undecided. We would really like to adopt a sibling pair in the future, and that would put us at 4 children. My DH never thought he wanted more than 3, but said he would ok with 4. I can't imagine him signing up for #5 as well! I also can't imagine trying to handle 4 children with homeschooling and everything and going through another pregnancy at the same time. I'm just so rough the first half with morning sickness and then have back problems the second half. It was hard enough with just one kid in tow!

We aren't doing any permanent measures yet though. We're only 27 and it's hard for me to imagine deciding we're totally done at such a young age.

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#9 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 09:34 AM
 
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I suspect so because I am about to turn 40 and this will be our 6th baby.

But I won't say "For sure!" because I never expected to have six children when we were first married. We thought we'd have two. Then we had religious conversion experiences and decided to be generous in the service of life and have a third.

Then our hearts and minds changed even more over the years and now we're expecting #6 and loving it.

It's been a struggle at times but I'm so grateful to have each one of my children. I'm approaching this pregnancy as if it's the last but who knows what the future holds? I'm good with that.

Catholic homeschooling mom of two daughters and four sons... baby Mark born on 8/27/10. Kidney Disease Awareness
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#10 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 09:34 AM
 
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I would love to have one more after this, I think dh does too. I just can't imagine saying we are done for good.

Mom to three girls 14, 11, 9, and 1 more Girl on the way 8/8/2010!
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#11 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 09:35 AM
 
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Since we had decided that our last one would be our our "last"...this one is definitely the last one. DH will get a vasectomy after Romy is born.

Truly, I'd like to keep the option open for another one in about 4 or 5 years, if I'm up to. The problem is my body gets pregnant every 2 years, whether I've planned it to happen or not, lol! I know that we don't want another one anywhere near that soon, so making a final decision seems like a safer option to me.

I'll miss carrying a child, and the hope and excitement that comes with expecting a new little person. I will NOT miss being pregnant. I'll miss the whole birth experience and I'm sad that I didn't truly discover natural childbirth until my last baby, but thankful that I (hopefully) get to experience it at least once. I'm looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel with nursing. I've been nursing non stop since early 2004. To think that there is a time in the next 5 years when I will NOT be nursing is insane. I'm looking forward to losing the baby weight that always takes me around a year or two to completely lose and having it STAY off! All in all, I think I'm sad that this part of my life will be over. I'm only 28 but saying that my baby making days are over sure does make me feel old!

Jamie, parenting w/ DH , DS1 (02/04), DD (06/06), DS2 (09/08) and DD2 born 8/04/10 9lb 1 oz
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#12 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 09:45 AM
 
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Psst... Jamie... I totally understand what you mean. I had four babies by age 30 and I was tired of it all. I needed some sleep!

We took a break... at the time we thought it could be a permanent break. We didn't have any babies for seven years. In that time my needy little babies and toddlers grew up to be 13 years old to 7 years old. They could make their own sandwiches! They slept through the night! They could tend to their own toileting needs!

Very unexpectedly, we found ourselves desiring another baby. He was born when I was 38 and now we're expecting one more at age 40.

It has been so different with these "late in life" babies. My older children are so much help! It's been a joy to watch them interact with their new baby sibling.

I'm not trying to be pushy and tell you to HAVE MORE BABIEEES! I just want to share that I understand the early years and to let you know that it does get easier.

Catholic homeschooling mom of two daughters and four sons... baby Mark born on 8/27/10. Kidney Disease Awareness
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#13 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 09:49 AM
 
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Psst... Jamie... I totally understand what you mean. I had four babies by age 30 and I was tired of it all. I needed some sleep!

We took a break... at the time we thought it could be a permanent break. We didn't have any babies for seven years. In that time my needy little babies and toddlers grew up to be 13 years old to 7 years old. They could make their own sandwiches! They slept through the night! They could tend to their own toileting needs!

Very unexpectedly, we found ourselves desiring another baby. He was born when I was 38 and now we're expecting one more at age 40.

It has been so different with these "late in life" babies. My older children are so much help! It's been a joy to watch them interact with their new baby sibling.

I'm not trying to be pushy and tell you to HAVE MORE BABIEEES! I just want to share that I understand the early years and to let you know that it does get easier.
This is the situation we are in. I had three little ones under 5. We waited 8 years and I realized I wanted another badly! It took us almost two years to conceive this one. I am looking forward to the help from the older sibs and they are old enough now, that they are truly excited to do all the baby things!

Mom to three girls 14, 11, 9, and 1 more Girl on the way 8/8/2010!
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#14 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 11:51 AM
 
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I'll never say never again! We had four children, three under three, with a the oldest a few years ahead of the 2nd child. I had a tubal ligation and suffered terrible PTLS from it..at only 28, I was in near menopause and was being told that a hysterectomy was my best route.

PTLS is a very real result for millions of women who have a TL..in fact, many women I now run into have had hysterectomies or ablation, or just suffered with cycle changes/migraines since their TL-some are in their 60's. So, I implore any woman who is decidedly "done" to choose anything but a TL.

With that said, I love what God has done for me through having lots of children, and many of them closely spaced. There is no way to be a good mother to lots of children, AND be selfish. It has changed my perspective and my heart, which is essential in Christianity. I no longer focus on "me" and what's difficult for "me" (for the most part) and focus on what "He" wants me to do. I find I am more organized, less stressed, have more time and I'm more in control with having more children. I think for me, it's because I'm no longer trying to live with one foot in the popular world-working part time, keeping up socially, material focus, etc....We can either have some chaotic life when we have children, or we can have peace and joy and love and some order...

This is the most important, difficult and rewarding job, and I'll never again cut off my womb for His blessings! When this baby arrives, we'll have a 13 year old, 8 year old, 7 year old, 5 year old, 14/15 month old and a newborn, and I get pregnant easily while EBF, so that's a real possibility again!

I respect and understand women who feel differently..I will never judge, as I was there, and I know others view it much differently, depending on their circumstances and beliefs. I just pray none of you lovely ladies choose a TL!

Blessed Christian Wife and Mother to 5 +Oliver James-Our 10 lb 9 oz born Labor Day 2010!
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#15 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 12:31 PM
 
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I am absolutely done after this one. DH could have been done at 2 but he promised me 3 before we got married. Dh will be getting the V-probably in September as well.

Lisa, mama to A (3/05) and R (11/07) and L (8/10)
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#16 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 12:57 PM
 
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We don't plan on anymore after this one, since this will make us a household w/ 4 kids and 2 adults in our small house. My husband wants to get a v, or an iud for me. We'll see.

Michelle , wife to Ray, mama to Anthony(12/20/05), Bryant(01/08), Carisma (08/21/10) , step ma to Amber(12/13/94), : :
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#17 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 01:10 PM
 
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i honestly can't say. it took us two years to get pregnant with my son, and i feel so blessed to be able to have another child.
i really don't know what we will do. we haven't made any decisions either way. i'm going to be 37 at the end of October though, so that alone could make our choice for us.
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#18 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 05:06 PM
 
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We're on the fence.

When I think about 'being done' I feel a bit of panic and a bit of relief at the same time. It would be SO NICE to not be pregnant again or nurse and to just get both kids to a less needy stage.

Even with this baby in the womb I still feel...like we haven't made everyone. Does that sound silly?

DH is pretty level headed and laid back about it. He's been reassuring me and telling me to just wait until this little one gets here and then we'll reevaluate and pray on it. See if I still have that 'someone is missing' feeling or if things feel complete.

We're still very young though. I'm 23 and DH turns 24 this summer. So we still have tons of time in which our minds may change.
Right now we love the idea of being done by 30. But who knows...we'll see when we're 30, I guess.
We want our kids to all be close in age so it makes sense now for us to say, "Oh once we're done, we won't change our minds." buuuuut....What VillageMom6 says really weighs on my heart and mind because I can totally see us being 'done' and then years later looking around saying, "Hmmm...what about another little one..."

Wife to a bearded dude.
Mama to DS [05/21/08] & DD [09/16/10] 43 weeks 1 day!
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#19 of 45 Old 04-29-2010, 11:08 PM
 
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We're a bit on the fence. I would like to keep the door open for another, as I always wanted three, but DH had to be convinced to turn one DD into two siblings. So he is pretty certian that he doesn't want more after this one, and talks about getting snipped.

I'll probobly end up with an IUD or something, just to try to keep that door open a little longer for a possible #3, but then agian, if DH is dead certian after this little one arrives, I might just let him go get the snip and just embrace the blessings I have. I really hate BC and would love to be done with it.

CD'ing, homebirthing, milk making school teacher. Supporting my family on my income and trying to get out of debt in 2013!
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#20 of 45 Old 04-30-2010, 10:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AutumnAir View Post
Yup, that's the plan. DH is going to book a vasectomy for himself after this LO arrives - I can't go through the stress again, we can't afford any more and I don't have it in me to be a mom to many. To be honest I find it hard enough to deal with just DD - I'm nervous about how I'll cope with the next one...
This is me exactly. I am done.
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#21 of 45 Old 04-30-2010, 12:07 PM
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My husband has an appt. for his urology consult next week! Woohoo!
We're 26 and 30, so also young, but we're both totally sure we are done making babies. If we want another in the future we are open to adoption.
I'm thinking of getting an ablation done or a Mirena IUD so my periods will be easier, now that I don't have to worry about my future fertility.
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#22 of 45 Old 04-30-2010, 12:34 PM
 
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We're still in the "lets see how this one goes, and decide after that stage" DH originally wanted 3, I only wanted 2, but I can definitely see having more now. Its funny though, if you asked me if we're going to have 3 kids, I'd say I'm not really sure. However, I can't imagine this being my last pregnancy, either! So, my guess is, this probably isn't our last one.


I'm curious, it seems like a lot of the ladies whose husbands are getting "the snip" you are waiting until after the baby comes - why wait?

Loving being a stay at home mamma to DD 10/07, and newly arrived DS 7/26/10
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#23 of 45 Old 04-30-2010, 12:37 PM
 
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I was telling a friend the other day that I can't imagine ever feeling like this is "it" we are done no more, no matter how many children I have. Maybe it's because they are so hard for us to come by, I don't know, but I think a part of me would like one or two more before we are no longer of "childbearing age" but I do know one thing, that now that DS will have a sibling, I will feel more at peace if we don't have any more.

Nicki wife to Rich, Mama to 7 y/o DS, and a beautiful Princess Aug 2010
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#24 of 45 Old 04-30-2010, 12:56 PM
 
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I'm curious, it seems like a lot of the ladies whose husbands are getting "the snip" you are waiting until after the baby comes - why wait?
Well, I am always the pessimist. Even though this child was not planned in any way, she is, of course, wanted. I fear problems and want to make sure I have a healthy baby in my arms before I say no more. We didnt plan on having more than one, but if something horrible happened with this baby, I dont know. I just want to not shut all the doors until this door is completely open. make sense?
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#25 of 45 Old 04-30-2010, 01:08 PM
 
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Since this is our third babe, and we only planned one of them so far, I can't say for sure what will happen next...
I think a lot of it will depend on how this birth goes. My last was so incredible and wonderful that I knew in my heart I would feel as though I missed out if I never got to be in that place again. Giving birth is so powerful!
Also, sweet smelling smushy little babies? So wonderful.

Veggie, babywearing, cloth diapering, lactivist, intactivist, 2x HBAC, non-vaccing nurse and doula, wife of my babies' sweet Dada, Momma of 3 with another coming mid summer.

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#26 of 45 Old 04-30-2010, 01:34 PM
 
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We are definitely done! I am 41 and my husband will be 50 this year. Need to schedule that v-surgery pronto!

Jane -- married to Ernie since 1993, mommy to Jonah (6/03) and Noah (11/06), m/c 1/09 and 10/09 and finally due with our little girl (8/10)
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#27 of 45 Old 04-30-2010, 02:01 PM
 
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Well, I am always the pessimist. Even though this child was not planned in any way, she is, of course, wanted. I fear problems and want to make sure I have a healthy baby in my arms before I say no more. We didnt plan on having more than one, but if something horrible happened with this baby, I dont know. I just want to not shut all the doors until this door is completely open. make sense?
yup. This is me *exactly.

Jamie, parenting w/ DH , DS1 (02/04), DD (06/06), DS2 (09/08) and DD2 born 8/04/10 9lb 1 oz
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#28 of 45 Old 04-30-2010, 02:04 PM
 
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Psst... Jamie... I totally understand what you mean. I had four babies by age 30 and I was tired of it all. I needed some sleep!

We took a break... at the time we thought it could be a permanent break. We didn't have any babies for seven years. In that time my needy little babies and toddlers grew up to be 13 years old to 7 years old. They could make their own sandwiches! They slept through the night! They could tend to their own toileting needs!

Very unexpectedly, we found ourselves desiring another baby. He was born when I was 38 and now we're expecting one more at age 40.

It has been so different with these "late in life" babies. My older children are so much help! It's been a joy to watch them interact with their new baby sibling.

I'm not trying to be pushy and tell you to HAVE MORE BABIEEES! I just want to share that I understand the early years and to let you know that it does get easier.
Thank you for that! It's nice to know that life does get a little less hectic. You definitely speak to the part of me that worries about making a "final decision" and I do appreciate your POV

Jamie, parenting w/ DH , DS1 (02/04), DD (06/06), DS2 (09/08) and DD2 born 8/04/10 9lb 1 oz
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#29 of 45 Old 04-30-2010, 02:48 PM
 
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This is our last planned baby, yes. This is #6, and our oldest is only 7!!! I have had 3 under 3, 4 under 4, and 5 under 6 so I TOTALLY get the need for a break and a good nights sleep. Our children are from fertility treatment and we planned from day one to have this be our last and I am telling myself that accordingly.

That doesnt mean its not heartbreaking to think that this is my last "......" though. From the first pregnancy test my heart was crying "Thats your last positive pregnancy test" and has been doing that ever since. I wont get a tubal and I will ask my DH not to get a V until our age precludes us from childbearing any further. Because like VillageMom, I do see myself open to the possibility of having a child in 10 years (I am only 27).

My DH however, who is usually the rabid baby pusher in this marriage (he was telling me we needed 3 more when I was in the ICU from my twins c/s!!) is absolutely categorically done done done. Its sad for me to hear.

Mama to nine gorgeous babies, with finale #10 due April'14.
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#30 of 45 Old 04-30-2010, 03:22 PM
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I'm curious, it seems like a lot of the ladies whose husbands are getting "the snip" you are waiting until after the baby comes - why wait?
I think we might be the only ones *not* waiting. No matter what happens, this is my last pregnancy. I just don't want to do this again. I don't have any pregnancy or birth complications, I just don't like being pregnant. Any other children we have will be adopted.
We weren't sure if we were done after 2-- I felt pretty done but my husband talked me into a third and I'm glad he did, and I'm getting my girl! But we are sure now.
I think we will adopt in 5-10 years and the idea of having 4-5 kids sounds kind of crazy to me, even without creating them ourselves. I never imagined myself with a big family but we both feel drawn to adoption.
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