VBAC/HBAC support thread - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 21 Old 06-10-2010, 06:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been thinking about starting a thread with this topic for a while now.

Who else is with me on the endeavor of a VBAC/HBAC? We could use this thread to share fears or doubts and find encouragement in each other.

Last night I have been revisiting my past birth experience once again. researching stuff on the net, looking at my contraction-master-chart from the first night... I am so determined and feeling positive about getting my perfect birth experience this time that it sometimes scares me a little and I am reminding myself not to get too... hopeful I guess. Another c/s would just be so disappointing.

I'll gladly share our birth story later on, just need to get some sleep now. I wanted to start the thread anyway and see about the feedback.

Franziska , DW to )oi , SAHM to Noah 06/2008, Sophia 08/2010, and Junis 11/2012

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#2 of 21 Old 06-10-2010, 06:55 PM
 
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We're planning our second hbac. Can't imagine doing it any other way.

Kristen, happy wife to Jeremy; Mama to dd (2/04) and ds (8/07) and two miscarried babies (9/05 & 5/06). And beginning to believe a baby may really be coming this summer.
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#3 of 21 Old 06-10-2010, 07:43 PM
 
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I was planning my second vbac as a homebirth (third attempt) but if things ever go right, we'll be moving to Nova Scotia just before the birth. Nova Scotia just regulated midwives and have only hired 5 for the entire province. All the rest were forced into retirement. Soooo I get to birth in a hospital with an OB. Not excited about that.
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#4 of 21 Old 06-10-2010, 11:50 PM
 
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I am going for a vba2c. I had to switch providers twice to be able to find someone willing to work with me. My husband refuses to let me homebirth, although I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Michelle , wife to Ray, mama to Anthony(12/20/05), Bryant(01/08), Carisma (08/21/10) , step ma to Amber(12/13/94), : :
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#5 of 21 Old 06-11-2010, 12:40 AM
 
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I am planning a HBA3C. I too, have been revisiting my c/s births. I was "promised" the opportunity to attempt a VBAC last pg, but the doc threatened to drop me at 40 weeks and since we'd just moved I felt like I had no other option. With DS 2, the hospital banned VBACs and there wasn't one within 4 hours that did VBACs.

I have thankfully found a midwife who believes in me and my body. I have been doing hypnobabies to help me relax and prepare for this birth. I have also been seeing a chiropractor (something I haven't done in the past). I'm really looking forward to it, but am also having a little anxiety. Not related to the whole "your uterus could rupture" thing, but the whole "what if I'm a wimp" thing. I have done my research and feel totally comfortable with the minimal risk I'm taking compared to the huge risk of having yet another c/s. (I am a L&D nurse, so am very familiar with the risks of both).

I'm afraid that if I end up with another c/s I'll be devasted. Really. I want this so badly and am worried that I'll hear a lot of "I told you so" if I have a c/s. FWIW...both of my SIL (who are nurses) have had c/s and think I'm completely nuts for wanting a V/HBAC. It almost seems like they're hoping something goes wrong so they can say "see...we told you"

Thanks for starting this thread!

Wife to a wonderful husband, mom to 5 amazing boys, 2 m/c and Knox Cornelius our 5th son born at 15weeks 12/3/2011, Lillian Faith our 1st daughter, born at 14 weeks May 19, 2012 (Turner Syndrome). 

 

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#6 of 21 Old 06-11-2010, 10:53 AM
 
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Babycatcher,

Geez, I'm so sorry you have to deal with your SIL's. Isn't it difficult to feel strong and confident when you receive so much flack? My MIL is a MSN and a Nursing teacher, so..yeah..not happy about our no-vax'ing, or our natural health approach, and certainly not happy about homebirth...ugh..she'd be happy if I scheduled that c-section, as well. With our last baby she asked "When is the c-section date". I told her I wasn't having one because I was having a VBA2C and I'd never be cut open again un-necessarily and have that kind of infection again, etc...she says, "OH", and that's about all we've spoken about birth since...and now I'm having another...

I have faith in you, and I'll be your support, along with the ladies here...try your best to drown out their negativity. If you have a c-section, it will be because your baby NEEDS one, not because you make a convenient choice.

I'm having a HBA2C, as well!

Last June, I had a successful VBA2C in the hospital. It went great, and it was very healing and empowering, though it was still "medically managed". I loved my OB (as much as I can love an OB) and it was a hard decision to decide on a homebirth this time, because he did go so out on a limb for me-long story about other OB's in the hospital not being supportive, but having to "agree" to support me in case my OB was on vacation...he basically had to be my advocate.

Anyway, this time around I'm looking forward to not driving an hour for my appointments that are becoming more frequent, and not being up against a medical time table.

I am growing fearful in some ways, though...this is a first for me...doing this at home. Can I do it? Can I handle it? I've had 5 other babies, 2 by c-section (3rd for transverse, 4th forced repeat) and I've never done it hands off..will my body even KNOW what to do? I want to enjoy this, but is my heart and mind and body so used to medical management that this will be foreign enough to cause issue..

Yeah, thanks for the thread. I'm doing lots of praying right now. I love my midwife, and my husband and mother are very supportive. I just don't know what natural birth at home looks like for me...everyone else I've read about and watched videos of-yes..me???

Blessed Christian Wife and Mother to 5 +Oliver James-Our 10 lb 9 oz born Labor Day 2010!
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#7 of 21 Old 06-11-2010, 02:56 PM
 
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Well, I am subbing to this thread and the c/s one, happily. I *may* be having a VBA3C, or I may not. And either way is fine with me. I had my oldest naturally, my twins elective c/s due to positioning, my DD2 due to size, and my DD3 was a "failed" VBA2C. I have an OB who is very happy to do a VBA3C and have a doula, excellent hospital etc and of course I am hoping it all works out that way.

However, my DD3's birth taught me that sometimes it doesnt. Sometimes even the best of intentions arent enough, and I have worked very hard to bring myself round to being genuinely happy with whatever happens. I know it sounds cheesy, but all I want is a positive birth with a healthy baby at the end. DD3 ended up in the NICU for weeks and I sat there thinking how I could have done things differently, then and for years after. This time its different and I feel very blessed to have that feeling of surrender around me, its vastly different from the manic obsession I had last time.

So yep, here I am. I really hope we can all get the absolutely best births for ourselves and our babies.

Mama to nine gorgeous babies, with finale #10 due April'14.
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#8 of 21 Old 06-12-2010, 04:28 PM
 
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Myfillingquiver,
Quote:
I just don't know what natural birth at home looks like for me...everyone else I've read about and watched videos of-yes..me???
Yep. This is me. I have no idea what this is going to look like for me, which is sometimes really hard because I am a huge planner. I know I have to be flexible, but I have no idea how this will look. I have no idea how me in labor will look for that matter.

I too have been praying a lot, for peace, positioning, safety, health, (short easy labor ) You name it. I'm trying to be calm and trusting. I know my body isn't a dud (eventhough I've been told this for so long...all because of a scar). I know that God made my body and it's not broken, but sometimes that message gets lost. YKWIM?

Momtoafireteam--I too, hope we can all have the best birth for ourselves and our babies. You are very fortunate to have found an OB willing to do a VBA3C. The closest one for me is over 3 hours away. I'm trying really hard to not have that "manic obession" you've talked about. I can see how it easily could end up there.

I'm glad this thread was started.

Wife to a wonderful husband, mom to 5 amazing boys, 2 m/c and Knox Cornelius our 5th son born at 15weeks 12/3/2011, Lillian Faith our 1st daughter, born at 14 weeks May 19, 2012 (Turner Syndrome). 

 

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#9 of 21 Old 06-14-2010, 01:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I can relate to that feeling of really really wanting everything to go great and on the other hand trying not to get fanatic about it.

For us it is our second child, second try for a HB and first try for VBAC, obviously. I'm just glad I don't have to deal with extra financial issues, since (as for now!) homebirths are legal in Germany and covered by insurance. It took me some digging though to find a midwife since the first one I had kind of freaked when she heard that DS was a c/s.

We were living in Thailand when he was born and I really wanted to avoid having to go to the hospital since they have shocking c/s rates there. I stayed at home for as long as possible and labored for over 50 hours and I still consider that time as the time my son was born. I am really glad I had such great support from my DH and my MW and noone pressured me because it gave me the opportunity to actually labor in my own time and also to get to know my limits - after all it was an empowering experience because I coped really well and I only 'gave up' when I realised that I had been fully dilated for at least twelve hours (probably way longer but we never checked before then) and nothing moved.

So in a way I feel very positive, because I know I can do it as long as my baby engages in the right angle and obliges in tucking in her chin

But then again I feel a bit like a first timer (which I AM, I know...) because I never had a baby come out of me through the birth canal and I am wondering about tearing and all that jazz.

I just started a birth preparation class last week and the mw talked about how most women exhausted themselves before real/productive labor started and asked us second timers if we could relate to that and I honestly couldn't. I think I coped really well the first time around but am beginning to have doubts if my memory plays tricks on me, iykwim...

ah, well.

I have an appointment with that mw today (from the cb-class), since she might be the one helping out after the birth (the birth-mw is an hour away and it might be neat to have someone close by for the days after). I am really looking forward to that, since I've gone unassisted for a while now. I always see my mw appointments as a kind of therapy for DS's birth - revisiting and analyzing the events, releasing and finding closure.

thanks for responding and lets keep this thread alive

Franziska , DW to )oi , SAHM to Noah 06/2008, Sophia 08/2010, and Junis 11/2012

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#10 of 21 Old 06-14-2010, 04:59 AM
 
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hello! although im way back down in sept/oct ddc i'm so glad this thread is starting up, plus for me personally it'll be good to hear about how you guys get on before i take the plunge so to speak hehe (i know we already have a vbac forum but it gets a bit crowded lol)

I had a CS aged 19. i laboured easily on the birth ball and got to 5cms in two hours smiling and laughing....but then......baby was descending sunny side up and i was jabbed with pethidine and prepped for an epidural because the doctors etc kept telling me over and over "this is going to get really painful really soon and youre so young...." so i panicked resulting in loads of pain, especially when the student midwives who were supporting me strapped me to me back (think they were nervous - they hadnt had a back to back labour b4) so my contractions slowed...they jabbed me with more stuff....they slowed even more....epidural time....STOPPED...pictocin etc etc etc and 10 more hours of sitting on my back (impossible to progress like this) i had made it to nine cms NINE!! and yet the matron decided that "the young girl has had enough now lets just send her to theatres, we're really understaffed on L+D today too" her own words to another member of staff, so i wasnt going to agree, but then they gave me some story about how babies can't be born face up and in my young stressed out uninformed mind i trusted a little too blindly and 10 minutes later im being wheeled screaming like a stuck pig into theatre. I got an internal post op infection (the hospital is famous for passing that to most of it's cs patients) and spent 2 weeks on the ward. luckily for me I had (have) the most wonderful baby boy who was healthy, a great nursling and the all time love of my life and everytime i looked at him everything around me paled into a blur and it was just me and him....i knew i'd always be a sucker for him from the moment i was first *allowed* to hold him.

i've never been able to shake the deep sense of guilt for the way he came into the world, i didnt realise how much i wanted to birth my baby naturally until i had him surgically removed, it felt so unnatural IYKWIM. so this time...........

....i'm going to HBAC with a doula

I have been lucky enough to find a mongan method hypno practitioner who is local, experienced, pro HBAC and is happy to hold our hypnobirthing group sessions and be my doula

I worry that baby is breech or that she'll be face up because i have an anterior placenta or that i just plain ol' won't manage it... but... im planning for the best case senario this time, going to have the calm loving birth with my DH, sister and doula there to love and support me, they all trust that my body will pop this babba out no problems and... if not... they are there to help make informed choices and remain in control should we need a transfer..

that is all any of us can do, prepare for the best, have a good knowledgable support group and lots of options and natural plans-of-actions should things take a different route, even if that's just "if it slows, try nipple stimulation" etc and not beat ourselves up should our baby NEED medical support to be born healthily...because as mommas it's up to us to put them first above our need for healing and closure from previous births so if the need arises for a repeat cs we can go into it/come out of it knowing that it was truly the very best thing for ourselves and babies, not because it was convienient. how can any of us feel guilty or as if we have "failed again" if we are just making sure our kiddies are safe eh?

I can't wait to hear about how all of our babies come into the world! and i truly hope that everyone has the experience they long for!

fingers crossed for all of us!!!

heartbeat.gifmy DH DS (5) angel1.gifx2... rainbow1284.gif DD 8th oct!! 9lb 5oz  Madison Akina-Mae - i wear her, feed her, co-sleep and hold her just about every minute of the day DS is my little scientist and the most loving person i ever did meet.  I'm lucky and I know it
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#11 of 21 Old 06-14-2010, 06:41 PM
 
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hi everyone. I've had 2 c/s both due to my past ob / fetal distress. I'm going for a vba2c in a different state, so obv. different doctor and different hospital. my husband as well won't do home birth. I am working on getting ready, but I am scared of not being able to do it. I never dilated past 2-3 cm in the past so I really have no idea of all the things that might happen!

Dara Mommy to Gabbie (4/05) , Zachary (6/07) , and Simon (8/10)
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#12 of 21 Old 06-15-2010, 04:31 AM
 
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DARA00 you can do it! positive thoughts hehe. it might be a good plan (if you haven't already) to learn some deep relaxation exercises and visualisations to use to help open up and release during dilation.

heartbeat.gifmy DH DS (5) angel1.gifx2... rainbow1284.gif DD 8th oct!! 9lb 5oz  Madison Akina-Mae - i wear her, feed her, co-sleep and hold her just about every minute of the day DS is my little scientist and the most loving person i ever did meet.  I'm lucky and I know it
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#13 of 21 Old 06-15-2010, 09:59 AM
 
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thanks! yes I'm working on relaxation and visualizations that I can use!

Dara Mommy to Gabbie (4/05) , Zachary (6/07) , and Simon (8/10)
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#14 of 21 Old 06-18-2010, 03:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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subbing (yeah, I know,... to my own thread - but after almost 2.5 years on MDC I still haven'T got the hang of things. I'll come back later and write an update on my last MW appt and child birth class).

Franziska , DW to )oi , SAHM to Noah 06/2008, Sophia 08/2010, and Junis 11/2012

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#15 of 21 Old 06-18-2010, 07:57 AM
 
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Just had an appointment with the high risk ob--I'm going through a midwife this time, but the practice required me to have an appointment w/ him to discuss risks of a vba2c. For whatever reason, he though I never dilated with the boys--I had to correct him on that--I went to 9 1/2 w/ Anthony and 9 w/ Bryant. He had to warn me of the risks of uterine rupture, etc. From all the details, he said that I was a good candidate, which I knew anyway. I really think that baby girl will be earlier then her brothers--Ant was born at 40 wks 2 days and B was born at 39 wks 2 days. My dh is gunning for August 13, since the boys were both born on the 20th of the month and his daughter was born on the 13th. We'll see.

Michelle , wife to Ray, mama to Anthony(12/20/05), Bryant(01/08), Carisma (08/21/10) , step ma to Amber(12/13/94), : :
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#16 of 21 Old 06-18-2010, 10:00 AM
 
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if you'd never dilated would that have been a good thing or a bad thing?

Dara Mommy to Gabbie (4/05) , Zachary (6/07) , and Simon (8/10)
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#17 of 21 Old 06-18-2010, 05:14 PM
 
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He said if I never dilated on my own, my chances of a vbac would be quite low. I don't plan on going to the hospital until I've been in labor for awhile--guess its a good thing that the hospital I will be birthing at is about 30ish miles away--the one 2 minutes from my house won't allow me to vba2c, even though I was told otherwise right after I had my 2nd.

Michelle , wife to Ray, mama to Anthony(12/20/05), Bryant(01/08), Carisma (08/21/10) , step ma to Amber(12/13/94), : :
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#18 of 21 Old 06-18-2010, 06:28 PM
 
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that's interesting. I never dilated past 2-3 cm before "fetal distress" was determined. but I was never told that meant I wouldn't dilate next time. my childbirth instructor said that the hardest thing is getting past the point you stalled at last time, because the whole time you're dreading stalling again. well I just hope everything works out!

Dara Mommy to Gabbie (4/05) , Zachary (6/07) , and Simon (8/10)
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#19 of 21 Old 06-20-2010, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yes, I was also told that I was a perfect candidate for a VBAC since I was fully dilated with DS. Apparently I can be considered a second timer in terms of dilation and a first timer in terms of birthing vaginally.

I had a really good appointment with the mw who does my child birth class and finally fully understood what exactly happened during my last birth and what we could have done differently. On tuesday I have the first appointment with the mw who will most likely be there for the birth (if i don't go early, which right now doesn't seem sooo unimaginable since I feel BIG!). I'm really looking forward to finally meeting her in person.
The other midwife who will be covering the time until august 8th somehow cannot be reached at the moment and doesn't return my calls which is a little troubling... gotta try and give her a call again tomorrow.

All in all I'm feeling rather optimistic at the moment

Franziska , DW to )oi , SAHM to Noah 06/2008, Sophia 08/2010, and Junis 11/2012

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#20 of 21 Old 06-20-2010, 04:46 PM
 
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well I guess that's not so great for me...but I think I didn't dilate because I didn't have the chance, not because I can't physically dilate. so we'll see.

Dara Mommy to Gabbie (4/05) , Zachary (6/07) , and Simon (8/10)
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#21 of 21 Old 06-20-2010, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@dara: absolutely! don't let that info get you down. As far as I know not diltaing often has a lot to do with the surrounding circumstances i.e. stressfull atmosphere that makes it hard for the woman to relax. I think Ina May Gaskin calls it the sphincter law. you might find a clip of her talking about this on youtube. would look for the link myself, but have to go (child is crying)

Franziska , DW to )oi , SAHM to Noah 06/2008, Sophia 08/2010, and Junis 11/2012

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