now if i could only get dh to start nesting... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 11 Old 06-21-2010, 01:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
the elyse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: loving the TMI threads
Posts: 1,037
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i keep telling him that i could have this baby in 5 weeks () but he's not impressed. i have a list of things that is driving me bonkers, but i can't do most of it because it includes lifting heavy furniture and drilling holes into the walls. hehe. i guess i'll stick to cleaning... but organizing is so much more appealing!

SAHM to Hannah (11/04), Cash (02/08), and Adelaide (07/10) dh, Chris.
the elyse is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 11 Old 06-21-2010, 01:42 AM
 
COgirl19's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 423
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can totally sympathize. There is stuff that I have been asking help with from DH for WEEKS and time is short! And there is NO WAY I can or should lift the very heavy boxes of old books out of the closet. Meanwhile, he sits and plays guitar while I scrub the bathroom. He does do the dishes and laundry though so I can't complain too much. But still, so little time and he is SO RELAXED while I am freaking out over all that needs to be done!!!

Crunchy Christian Wife and Mommy to awesome DH and DD1 (4/25/07) and DD2 (8/13/10)
COgirl19 is offline  
#3 of 11 Old 06-21-2010, 04:08 AM
 
autumnfairy76's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Paris
Posts: 178
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, I sympathize too! We are in the same place. I FINALLY got DH to go to IKEA last weekend so we could buy some furniture and to help me organize a bit in our bedroom to make space for everything, but it was a nightmare to get him to actually start organizing his stuff to make room, even when I've offered many times to go through things with him. ugh. Men! I think they just are seriously clueless about the need to be prepared well ahead of time.

Cherie: Ex-pat Mama in France to Chiara (Mar 08) and Adrian homebirth.jpg(Aug 2010) . cd.gifsewmachine.gif,winner.jpg
autumnfairy76 is offline  
#4 of 11 Old 06-21-2010, 04:44 AM
 
*Jade*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 559
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Agghhh, I am so there with you!! I'm getting so much crap from people about not having the nursery ready, but I can't carry furniture!!

Mum to Quinn, Aug 14th 2010
*Jade* is offline  
#5 of 11 Old 06-21-2010, 10:46 AM
 
JamieFay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Jade* View Post
Agghhh, I am so there with you!! I'm getting so much crap from people about not having the nursery ready, but I can't carry furniture!!


This is my fourth kid and I've never had a nursery. The first one was because we moved shortly after he was born and the other three (this one included) because I realized I needed nothing more than a place next to my bed for the baby to sleep!

I'm in the same boat. DH will *not help around the house
on his days off (looong story ). So, I've had to either give up on anything that requires heaving lifting, or enlist my mother's help. It's ok, though. The main thing that needs to be done is decluttering and I can sometimes do that sitting on my butt!

Jamie, parenting w/ DH , DS1 (02/04), DD (06/06), DS2 (09/08) and DD2 born 8/04/10 9lb 1 oz
JamieFay is offline  
#6 of 11 Old 06-21-2010, 12:15 PM
 
AmyKT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: my little corner of the world
Posts: 1,297
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just curious .. for those of you saying your DH won't help out -- are you directly asking him to or just helping he'll notice that you're lifting heavy boxes on your own and offer to help? After 10 yrs of marriage, I've finally realized that DH needs direct orders (ok, requests, if I must be nice ). And when I make those direct requests, he's usually happy to oblige. If I wait for him to notice something that needs to be done, I end up steaming and sulking and he doesn't understand why.

Occasionally my requests will be met with a less than enthusiastic response, but as long as they get done, I've decided not to mind. I lavishly thank him afterward and then he pretends like he really wanted to do it all along.

Amy (34): mommy to DD1 (11/07) and DD2 (7/10), wife, wohm, and wannabe suburban homesteader.
AmyKT is offline  
#7 of 11 Old 06-22-2010, 12:30 AM
 
lunarlady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,324
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DH is the king of selective hearing. So right now there is a big box of books for Goodwill, two closet doors, and some scrap wood at the top of the stairs waiting for DH to carry them to the garage. I ask him about every other day and get a "sure dear, I'll take care of it." It's been two weeks. Driving me batty but he IS cleaning the kitchen and doing the dishes, so I can't complain too much.

CD'ing, homebirthing, milk making school teacher. Supporting my family on my income and trying to get out of debt in 2013!
lunarlady is offline  
#8 of 11 Old 06-22-2010, 04:03 PM
 
matey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: The Greene House gone English Brown
Posts: 2,909
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by COgirl19 View Post
Meanwhile, he sits and plays guitar while I scrub the bathroom
This is my husband too. Sometimes I threaten to destroy the guitars.

All my dh's to-dos are fairly big ordeals, like landscape the front yard, put the freaking baseboard in the kitchen because it has seriously been YEARS, and how about you tile the bathroom shower that your dad said you guys would take care of six years ago. Or knock out that wall and window, put in a sliding door and build me a deck.

Now it is 90some degrees outside, and I know it wont get done. I hope it will someday. I know it isnt fun to work all day just to have to come home and work at home. Plus dH becomes a moody bear when he's doing house projects and then I am left to deal with ds by myself. *sigh* it will all get fixed someday.
matey is offline  
#9 of 11 Old 06-22-2010, 04:29 PM
 
jorona's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Add me to the list. I ask him to help out around the house, specifically asking for him to help me pick up around here - and his response is to move his pile of clutter from one room to another. WTH?! Is it so hard to put things away?! Apparently my other request to take the boxes of clothes and books to storage is not as important as the landscaping because the only other thing he's done in the last week is cut the grass. And we have a riding mower, so not much energy expended there.

If I can just make it another month until some of my family gets here to do things that I find truly helpful I will be doing well. My luck though we'll have the baby before then.

Wife to 8/07, SAHM to DS1 12/08 & DS2 7/10
jorona is offline  
#10 of 11 Old 06-22-2010, 04:33 PM
 
kimkim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: pacific nw
Posts: 442
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i haven't really started nesting too much but i've been organizing and washing what thrifted baby stuff we have and am planning on sewing projects. i'm trying to get the first 6 months figured out and DH said to me the other day, you'll have all this free time after the baby comes, take care of it then. obviously he has no clue. i think he thinks i'll be watching oprah all day and eating ice cream while the baby sleeps.

DD: 8/10

kimkim is offline  
#11 of 11 Old 06-24-2010, 03:45 PM
 
mimosagirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 68
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimkim View Post
i haven't really started nesting too much but i've been organizing and washing what thrifted baby stuff we have and am planning on sewing projects. i'm trying to get the first 6 months figured out and DH said to me the other day, you'll have all this free time after the baby comes, take care of it then. obviously he has no clue. i think he thinks i'll be watching oprah all day and eating ice cream while the baby sleeps.
Haha, that cracks me up! Same with me, BF/DP (whatever you want to call him) does not have the same sense of timing. We are looking at an apartment that needs to be renovated. Furniture needs to be moved from 16 hours away. Baby is due in 6-7 weeks. I'm trying to get all the little things done that we can, while we can. Because once we get the green light on moving, it's going to be nuts! (I wish I could afford to hide out at a hotel).

The direct order thing works, as mentioned above. Now I'm giving him little post its each day with his to-dos. But I have to ask if they are done. It's like they need us to remind them, but get irritated if we do and that equals nagging. Don't they get that we don't want to be the rememberer's of their to-do lists?! Lol.

One last thing to vent- BF and I are in another country and we both need our birth certificates when the baby is born. I told him this in December. Well, he JUST called the agency today after forgetting all this time- even when we were in his country for two months this spring! DUH. I started to think if he can't remember this, I'm not reminding anymore, he just won't be on the certificate!! I mean get some sense of responsibility!! Thanks I had to get that out!
mimosagirl is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off