Was this nice or rude? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 05:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had a strange encounter at the beach yesterday and thought I'd share. I was there with DD and two friends of mine. I wore my bikini with a cover up for when I was out of the water. I was feeling quite self conscious of my big pregnant self especially being as pale as I am right now and hobbling around the beach. But we HAD to get some beach time (it's been way too hot). Well, I got out of the water and decided to leave my cover up off to try and catch a little sun. Just then, two ladies walked by me as they were leaving the beach. One of them stopped, bent down and handed me an orange. She said, "Do you want this orange? I think your baby needs this orange." I said thank you very much and graciously took the orange, but I couldn't help but feel like I had just somehow been insulted.

One of the friends I was with tends to have a very positive outlook on these things. I asked him what he thought and he said not to worry, that to him it seemed totally innocent. He thought she was being kind and it was one of those things when she was happy to help out a pregnant woman. He said that all people should be so gracious and it was an act of community, rallying around the expectant mother so to speak. He made me smile and realize that maybe I had simply allowed my pregnant hormones to get in the way of seeing a truly kind act.

Just for the record, she didn't exactly say it in a rude way, but I also didn't get the 'act of pure kindness' from her either. The way she said, "I think your baby NEEDS this orange" struck me as kind of off. Like she was making a backhanded comment about my nutrition/weight. So what do you guys think? Nice? Rude? Something else?

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#2 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 05:55 PM
 
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I vote for nice with a bit of something else too. It's just kind of odd. Maybe she wanted to offer it to you just to be nice, but didn't know how best to word her offer and came across as weird.

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#3 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 05:58 PM
 
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Maybe she didn't catch you passing out snacks to your little one and didn't want your kid to go hungry. I wouldn't read too much into it.
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#4 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 06:21 PM
 
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I think they were trying to be nice but I'm with you and take everything wrong these days.

Mama to Peter (3/8/04), Leo (3/12/06), Timothy (7/24/10), and boy #4 due on the summer solstice 2014
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#5 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 06:29 PM
 
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I think she was leaving the beach with an orange she didn't want and was like, hmm, what do I do with this orange? Presto -- pregnant woman! Pregnant women will eat anything! So I think it was convenience with a shot of kindness.

Amy (34): mommy to DD1 (11/07) and DD2 (7/10), wife, wohm, and wannabe suburban homesteader.
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#6 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 07:26 PM
 
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Sounds sweet to me.

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#7 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 07:58 PM
 
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When in doubt, decide that the person meant well.

I bet you looked darling at the beach!

Now I want an orange.

Catholic homeschooling mom of two daughters and four sons... baby Mark born on 8/27/10. Kidney Disease Awareness
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#8 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 08:45 PM
 
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It seems like she was being nice. I agree, her wording would have caught me off guard too but some people are just like that. We have a good friend who struggles a bit socially. He functions perfectly well but sometimes things just come out sounding wrong or off.

And hey, you got a free orange!

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Mama to DS [05/21/08] & DD [09/16/10] 43 weeks 1 day!
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#9 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 09:08 PM
 
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I agree she was probably trying to be nice. The wording would have struck me as odd, as well though.

I want an orange now too....and I don't like oranges that much LOL.
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#10 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 09:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hahaha....thanks all. After more thought, I'm thinking she most likely had good intentions but maybe just fumbled over her choice of wording a bit. I'm usually not so sensitive and I think if not pregnant I wouldn't have even flinched at it. We like oranges around here, too. DD was super happy when she got out of the water and discovered she had a yummy snack for the ride home.

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#11 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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well, was it a tasty orange?

being pregnant and selfish I would just say that if it tasted good - WHO CARES

Christian helpmeet, homeschooling, homebirthing, homesteading wife, happily raising our family completely naturally. Mother to 5 children, 1 angel and new baby due in August!
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#12 of 12 Old 07-22-2010, 10:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aromamama View Post
well, was it a tasty orange?

being pregnant and selfish I would just say that if it tasted good - WHO CARES
Love it!

Elizabeth - Doing life with Scott partners.gif

SAHM to Evelyn - my crazy little Celiac (4) energy.gif Annabelle (2)  love.gif and Abraham (born 6/20) buddamomimg1.png
adoptionheart-1.gif  Follow our journey  mdcblog5.gif

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