I want another one, already? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 01:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I swore that 2 was my max. I want to be able to travel with my kids and I don't want to buy a mini van. The last couple weeks of my pregnancy were awful and my labour was horrendously short and painful. And now, I am so in love with my second little boy... I'm actually contemplating having another - I would l;ove to have a 3rd boy!
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#2 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 02:16 AM
 
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I felt the same way after each of my babies - you are very normal. I expect to feel the same after this one as well.

AND...

you dont need a mini van -- you need a Suburban!! They are much more fun

Christian helpmeet, homeschooling, homebirthing, homesteading wife, happily raising our family completely naturally. Mother to 5 children, 1 angel and new baby due in August!
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#3 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 04:08 AM
 
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I believe it's physiologically normal to desire to bear children. I think it's more a function of society and culture teaching us that somehow "x" number of children is normal..or healthy..or best... it doesn't change what's in our hearts, though. I am waiting to have our 6th-up at midnight, etc., and I am also thinking of getting pregnant again sometime..and what a blessing another would be.

And you don't need a mini van or a suburban, you need an Econoline Superduty F-350 12 passenger Van. We bought one a little over a year ago, and now THAT is freedom and livin' right there!

Blessed Christian Wife and Homeschooling Mother to 8 with blessing #9 and #10 due to arrive April 2015



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#4 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 08:52 AM
 
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I felt the same way after my son was born....and then I got over it and eventually decided I didnt want to have any more. Then I got pregnant, due to a momentary lapse in contraceptive concentration. I have wondered if when this one pops out, if I will immediatly think "MORE!" but there will be no more. I hate being pregnant, we are low income, and I know I am done.
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#5 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 10:19 AM
 
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I never wanted a minivan, either. But I have to give mine up, now that we need a vehicle that seats eight.

I tell ya... I'm sad to see my Town and Country go! It has been fabulously functional, with the fold-in-floor seats and other perks.

I'm just hoping to avoid what many of my friends (and MyFillingQuiver) drive... an Econoline. Yikes, that's a big, non-stylish vehicle!

Catholic homeschooling mom of two daughters and four sons... baby Mark born on 8/27/10. Kidney Disease Awareness
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#6 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 11:40 AM
 
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Villagemom,

See, I think mini vans are terribly unstylish, slow, and way too small for a large family. American made mini-vans have pretty poor reliability and safety records. While better on gas (I don't do that much driving anyway) than a full-size van, I could never fit my groceries in there.


I think my van:
(The same as this one, but silver) is totally attractive! It's got seating for 12, and we can fit ALL the groceries/Costco in it. We have a great stereo, tinted windows, and DVD. It was ultra comfy on our trip to CA in June. You can walk between the seats, and there is plenty of room for car seats and big kids/adults.

We had a bells and whistles newer Toyota Sienna. It was comfortable, but barely fit us all when we had 4, and it was HORRIBLE in the snow. We had great snow tires on it, but had to fill the back with sand bags cause it was so light.

I loved my 03' Expedition because it was the newer designed model with independent rear suspension, which means the back row wasn't flat on the floor like the previous generation. It was tricky to get the kids back there with so many car seats and seat flipping.

Anyway, the car situation for larger families is an interesting one! There is little made that isn't a mini van, and mini vans don't take care of families with more than 5 kids, and we could barely fit with 4. I like power, and safety, and comfort and good winter handling..so I have it with my beast, LOL! Plus, now we are set for whenever we may have another child(ren). It was a pain changing vehicles each time we had a child-even though they may be "8 passenger", it never worked for us with several in car seats..

It took us awhile to get there, as my husband (and therefore me by default) is a Car and Driver snob, LOL! However, years ago we also changed lots of perspectives..including not wanting car payments and choosing comfort and practicality over trendy little sporty things..that's what our 20's was for, LOL-wasting our money on car payments to haul around 1 or 2 kids in our sporty rides..hee hee..

Blessed Christian Wife and Homeschooling Mother to 8 with blessing #9 and #10 due to arrive April 2015



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#7 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 12:06 PM
 
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I wonder where I will be after this one is born as well. Honestly I know where I will be, I don't think I will ever think enough is enough. I wanted 4 children my entire life, but then we learned of our infertility trouble.

After I had my son, I wanted another one so bad it hurt. when he was 3 I went into a deep depression after our failed embryo transfer because that was our last "hope". We didn't have the money for IVF (our son's was covered under insurance at the time) and we paid out of pocket for our embryo transfer... infact we are still paying... but that's another story... we were told we could never conceive on our own. So for about a year or more I had trouble getting out of bed in the morning. I wanted another baby and nothing could change that. Over time I came to accept that we wouldn't have more children, that I was lucky to have what I had and that I needed to live my life, and stop dwelling on what could have been, what should have been.

And then somehow a miracle happened last christmas and this little girl decided to join our family. Now that we know that we CAN in fact conceive though we still aren't sure HOW it happened, I wonder if I will be ok if we never do again. DH is happy not having any more, he's content with two, heck he was content with one, but I wonder what my emotions will do. I like to think that I will just take life as it comes, because if there is anything I learned from seven years of wanting another, just because I want it doesn't mean it will happen WHEN I want it to, and that whatever is meant to be is going to happen regardless. But we will see won't we???

Nicki wife to Rich, Mama to 7 y/o DS, and a beautiful Princess Aug 2010
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#8 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 12:52 PM
 
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rlandnl,

What an amazing journey you've been on. I can see how you would be wondering what the future may hold, after thinking you would never have another, to having another spontaneously!

Blessings to you and that miracle LO!

Blessed Christian Wife and Homeschooling Mother to 8 with blessing #9 and #10 due to arrive April 2015



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#9 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 01:13 PM
 
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MFQ- Thank you. Yes it was one hell of a journey but one I would take all over again. It wa worth every day of crying to be where I am today. And it really helped us look at this pregnancy differently. Hubby and I have spent alot more time bonding with baby girl, I think last time we were more scared first time parents than sitting there enjoying every little bit of the pregnancy. He spends at least 30 minutes a night if not more just rubbing my belly and giving his daughter little squeezes. I feel like my level of bonding is the same, but different. It's hard to explain. I just hope that whatever the future holds for us I can take what I have learned in the past 7 years and remember it.

Nicki wife to Rich, Mama to 7 y/o DS, and a beautiful Princess Aug 2010
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#10 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 06:25 PM
 
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I told DH the day after the birth that I would do it again, I think he was happy to hear that, he was scared to ask me.

Paula, mama to DS M (7/2010) sleepytime.gif and Watson (1998) dog2.gif and welcoming baby Penny (8/1/2013) babyf.gif

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#11 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 06:28 PM
 
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I'm still pregnant and have been having this feeling as well. I knew the moment DS was born that I wasn't done having kids, I'm also having trouble thinking of my family as being complete with just 2. Thankfully DP also wants a few more although we're taking it one child at a time

It's funny when people hear that I'm having a girl and comment that "you're so lucky, you get to stop at 2! I have 3 and they're all boys/girls" then I counter with "well you know, we actually want 2 of each"
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#12 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 07:01 PM
 
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This is a funny thread. I grew up in a family of 7 kids and we actually had one of those massive Ford vans. We called it the Flying Tomato and I learned to drive using it. It wasn't very stylish but I survived my teen years.
Not sure how many kiddos we'll end up with but I know we'll have more than 2. I'm trying not to think about it right now though, in my last days of pregnancy. My MIL asked me recently how many we wanted and I told her to ask me again when I'm holding a beautiful, peacefully sleeping newborn.

Happily married to my sweet DH with two precious girls (12/08) and (8/10) and a crazy puppy dog. Expecting blessing #3 around 12/10.

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#13 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 07:03 PM
 
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I always thought I'd have one or two kids. Part of the reason was I started late (35 when my first was born)... part of the reason was I couldn't imagine more than two...as I came from a family of two kids. But after DS2 was born, I just felt that our family was not done. Felt that way after DD too. Now... not sure...LOL

My old car was dying, but we were able to get three car seats across the back. Did end up getting a minivan, though. Other than the gas mileage, I have to admit I love it.

Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#14 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 09:33 PM
 
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I know we'll have more, probably several more, but I always have this struggle between wanting to hang onto the current baby and getting pregnant again. Of course, I really do not enjoy being pregnant, so I have to let that go every time again as well. But it's oh! so worth it! I grew up in a family of eight kids and we drove suburbans and I've got my own now. I actually do not like the huge vans (sorry MFQ). I like the huge hood of suburbans and feeling high up--I feel very safe in my SUV nest! Hate to give that up for a small hooded anything, but I'm sure we'll get there, eventually.

I don't crave extra babies while pregnant or nursing, but I have been craving twins! (PLEASE, PLEASE, someday!!!!). I've always said twins were easiest first or last--when you didn't know any better or when you had older kiddos to help, but I'll take them whenever I can get them now! How's THAT for baby craving?

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#15 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 10:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ack! I don't want a big vehicle - 1) I think I would bash into other cars while trying to park and 2) I feel guilty enough for the $30/wk I spend on gas. Maybe if they come up with a more sustainable fuel source... I love our Kia5 - it's not beautiful but is is fuel efficient and has lots of room for groceries and 2 car seats. We've driven across Canada twice with it.
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#16 of 18 Old 07-29-2010, 11:56 PM
 
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I felt that way with my first (not so much this time with all the mommy-guilt I am feeling)

I definitely want more, but with DH in the Army, who knows. I just don't think it's smart. Maybe if we weren't at war I would feel differently. If/When he gets out, maybe we can have more. I've always had my heart set on a huge family, and I know DH is on board with a big family as well.

I think we will see how things are in a year and if it feels right to try, we will. We have been joking a lot about having the babies based on deployments and training... like,oh baby #2 was conceived when I came home from this training, baby #3 was conceived when I came home from this deployment.... I don't know... it just seems kinda cute to re-tell those stories when we are 80 ... but right now, reality is sinking in, and it's not so cute

Kourtney, happily married to my soldier and raising ds 7/08 .... dd 7/10..... and ds 11/11

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#17 of 18 Old 07-30-2010, 12:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaKitten21 View Post
I think we will see how things are in a year and if it feels right to try, we will. We have been joking a lot about having the babies based on deployments and training... like,oh baby #2 was conceived when I came home from this training, baby #3 was conceived when I came home from this deployment.... I don't know... it just seems kinda cute to re-tell those stories when we are 80 ... but right now, reality is sinking in, and it's not so cute
The story of my life.

We've had 3 deployments and 4 babies in 5 years. It's not so bad. It's just who we are. The more I have, the easier it gets. It's all about finding a routine, and being efficient. My first two were "high needs", and adding the second was AWFUL. He was a screamer...until he was two... Oof. But, the third was a breeze. Now that we are about to add #4, I'm feeling calm about the transition. Even if the baby is very, very difficult, our family operates so much differently now, that I can see how I will still have time to rest and be able to function. It's hard to see that the way things are now aren't how they'll always be, but they really aren't. It gets much better!

Anyway, I've found this thread hilarious, and I really hope you have another OP!

(And, I, too, am dreading that van. But, if we get a cushy one, I'll be okay to be one of "those" families. )

"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#18 of 18 Old 07-30-2010, 11:23 PM
 
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DDCC (('m due in October)

With my last one, I was talking about the next baby while recovering from my section at the hospital. Almost four years later, we weren't sure if we wanted to start again.
Turns out we are thrilled to have another one, but i feel really satisfied with three. I am not expecting to want another one, but we'll see!

Children deserve the respect of puzzling it out.
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