Eye Contact? - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-08-2010, 12:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi mamas, this is probably me just way-overthinking everything, but how much eye contact are your little ones making? My little peanut (born 8/22) stares over my shoulder or next to my head but does not make eye contact with me hardly at all--if he does, it's just for a sec and then his eyes slide away. He does stare at stuff like our blinds, and my breast while nursing, just not me! I don't remember this with my 5 year old, I seem to remember blissful staring into each others eyes. Or is this later on in infancy? I guess I'm just worried something's wrong with him, I though infants loved faces. Any thoughts?

~Lindsay, mama to Gunnar (5)  and George (brand new!) 
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:50 AM
 
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It has definitely increased over time for us, DS was similar early on. I wouldn't worry.

Paula, mama to DS M (7/2010) sleepytime.gif and Watson (1998) dog2.gif and welcoming baby Penny (8/1/2013) babyf.gif

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Old 09-08-2010, 02:44 AM
 
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My little one is just a day older than yours. She still doesn't focus her eyes very well, and looks at my mouth, or maybe my ears, more than my eyes. I think it is normal.

CD'ing, homebirthing, milk making school teacher. Supporting my family on my income and trying to get out of debt in 2013!
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Old 09-08-2010, 04:35 AM
 
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My 2yo worried me when she was a newborn for these same reasons. She wouldn't make eye contact except for a couple of seconds. She was also late to start social smiling (10 weeks instead of the usual 6 to 8 weeks). She would stare at the ceiling fan, and would only smile at inanimate objects.

Over the long term, lack of eye contact and lack of social smiling can sometimes be signs of autism spectrum disorders, apparently... so I was concerned. It worried me and also made me a little sad/mad, because I wanted feedback from her. I wanted us to have an emotional connection ASAP, to make all the sleepless nights worth it!

Of course, it all happened in good time. Now she wakes up and comes to find me, saying "Mama, I'm so glad you're here! Good morning, sweetheart!" We have a very warm, loving connection now.

I think it is way too early for you to worry if you just gave birth on 8/22. More than likely your little one is just on his own schedule. I'm sure you will get that connection you are longing for soon... hang in there, mama.

Happily married mother of DD1 (10/87), DD2 (7/08), and DD3 (8/10)
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Old 09-08-2010, 07:20 PM
 
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DD was born on 8/15 and I would say its just been in the last several days that she's really been able to focus enough to make eye contact. And even still I usually have to get her attention and get her to slowly move her eyes to me-she loves the blinds too!

Lisa, mama to A (3/05) and R (11/07) and L (8/10)
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Old 09-09-2010, 01:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, guys, that makes me feel much better that it's not just us! I guess I just don't remember the ages babies can do things very well--my first son's first few months are all a blur now

~Lindsay, mama to Gunnar (5)  and George (brand new!) 
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Old 09-09-2010, 01:10 AM
 
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Newborns have much better peripheral vision for like the first 3 weeks or so (can't remember exactly), so don't worry!

A great book I would suggest is "What's Going on in There?" by Lise Eliot. It is soo interesting and really helps put some of those fears to rest.

Mommy to kids

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Old 09-09-2010, 04:41 AM
 
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I've got another book rec -- "Wonder Weeks" -- it talks about fussy stages to relate to less-obvious development. The first one is at 5 weeks. I really noticed ds's ability to focus his eyes at that point.

Mama to Peter (3/8/04), Leo (3/12/06), Timothy (7/24/10), and boy #4 due on the summer solstice 2014
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