This is Hard - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 09-30-2010, 01:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm feeling overwhelmed. Keeping up with a teething, potty-training, 2-year-old and a one month old with a cold is really wearing on me. My toddler is so demanding of attention right now and I'm so exhausted from being up in the night with the baby.

Add to that the fact that I feel trapped in the house. Annabelle naps pretty well, but only at home. She will cat nap in the sling or wrap, but then wakes up before she's really rested and is cranky and even higher needs. So we stay home so that she can sleep in her bed and get the good naps she needs.

I'm so envious of my husband who can decide if he wants to come home for lunch or go out with friends. He can go to guy events when he wants to and doesn't have to plan around the girls' nap schedules and routines. He can stay out later with friends because he knows he will get to sleep the rest of the night and not be awakened to take care of a baby multiple times before morning.

It's just really hard. And I want to take a nap. But I probably won't be able to today because I don't think the girls are going to end up sleeping at the same time today, so I won't get a break at all.

Anyone else feel like they're falling apart and just trying to get through the day?

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#2 of 8 Old 09-30-2010, 02:28 PM
 
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I can relate, especially about wishing my girls would nap at the same time so I could get some rest. Seems like every time I get 2yo down for a nap the baby wakes up and wants to be held. And hubby gets to sleep thru the night, go out w friends, etc. while I am busy breastfeeding. (But he does change lots of diapers and if I wanted to pump some bottles and leave him with the girls, he would take on that challenge.)

I would say it has gotten easier over the last couple weeks, but it's more like there is one easy day for every two hard days, whereas there used to be one easy day for every 3 hard days. The hard days are just as hard! But on an easy day, when the baby sleeps for 6 hours straight, and the 2yo boobaholic doesn't even ask to nurse, and no nuclear tantrums happen - then I feel like maybe I won't go insane after all.

I wish you an increasing number of easy days!

Happily married mother of DD1 (10/87), DD2 (7/08), and DD3 (8/10)
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#3 of 8 Old 09-30-2010, 11:50 PM
 
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Yes, it is hard. I've realized that my new baby will not be held all the time, like DD1 was, because I honestly need to lay down myself more! I put the baby in the crib (which we don't use at night, but keeps DD1 from crawling on her) put a show on the TV for DD1, (totally guilt for this one) and sleep for 20 minutes or a half hour. It saves my sanity.

I'm in a bit better position than you because my DD1 is almost 4, so can be distracted for 20 min or 30 min without me worrying what she will get into. When DD1 was 2 yo, we thought we would only have one because she was such a terror (seriously!). So I totally understand where you are at. Hang in there, and I hope things get easier as both kids get a little older!

CD'ing, homebirthing, milk making school teacher. Supporting my family on my income and trying to get out of debt in 2013!
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#4 of 8 Old 10-01-2010, 11:20 AM
 
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Totally there too. It seemed to be getting easier for a while but my toddler is just driving me nuts! My baby is super easy (thankfully-one high needs kid is enough) and that's the only thing keeping me sane. I had the miraculous convergence of naps yesterday and got to sleep. It was amazing. Can you take naps when your husband gets home from work? Or can he go in a little late and let you sleep in? I feel a lot more optimistic and nice when I get a little more sleep.

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#5 of 8 Old 10-01-2010, 03:35 PM
 
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Yes, it is totally hard to adjust and deal, especially with two 2 and under.

It sounds like you need to talk to DH about getting some time for YOU. This is so important for me, and I think for all mom's. He's the Dad too, he needs to take some responsibility as well to give you a break. Even if only for 30 minutes to go for a walk or get a cup of coffee. It is nice he can have a more flexible schedule but he needs to help too.

Crunchy Christian Wife and Mommy to awesome DH and DD1 (4/25/07) and DD2 (8/13/10)
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#6 of 8 Old 10-01-2010, 05:51 PM
 
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Oh gosh yes!!

My DD1 gave up naps pretty early into my pregnancy, so not even the chance of getting both of them asleep at the same time, plus DD1's not even sleeping enough at night now - waking very early in the morning & getting a total of maybe 9-10 hours sleep total in a day, which is nowhere near enough for a 32 month old, and it shows. She's constantly whiny and cranky and throws fits all day long. I just don't have the time or patience to help her to get the sleep she needs, and I find it so difficult to deal with her calmly, especially when the baby is howling her head off too.

DD2 isn't quite as HN as DD1 was/is, but she's pretty demanding too. I can't put her down anywhere safely because DD1 is all over her - she loves her, but has absolutely no concept of being gentle or quiet around the baby. I can't even count the number of times I'd just managed to get DD2 to sleep and then DD1 came charging in like a herd of baby elephants and woke her up again, so that I was left with a screaming over-tired baby, and a screaming tantruming toddler who didn't understand why I couldn't play with her...

Yikes. But it's got to get easier - right?

Lisa - mama to Eleanor Rose 01/08 and Saoirse Lily 09/10
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#7 of 8 Old 10-02-2010, 12:05 AM
 
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Mine are 17 months apart so I'm right there with you, there's days that I just want to lock myself in the bathroom and rip all my hair out and/or just cry. It doesn't help that DS is super high needs and also extremely ambitious and stubborn about being into (and on top of) everything. I'm just so thankful that DD is the mythical "good" baby, it makes 2 under 2 with a DP who does full time school AND full time work bearable.

I do have to admit that I'm one of those bad moms who naps while her toddler is awake. He hasn't figured out doors yet so I shut us in the bedroom and he keeps himself entertained by emptying all the clothes out of the dresser. There's literally nothing else for him to possibly get into and it buys me a half hour nap. Obviously it's not the best quality sleep but it's enough to just shut down for a few minutes.

Also, DP is going to tackle both kids so I can get out for a few hours on my own this weekend. We both know how badly I need a break to not be responsible to anyone but myself.
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#8 of 8 Old 10-02-2010, 01:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnAir View Post
DD2 isn't quite as HN as DD1 was/is, but she's pretty demanding too. I can't put her down anywhere safely because DD1 is all over her - she loves her, but has absolutely no concept of being gentle or quiet around the baby. I can't even count the number of times I'd just managed to get DD2 to sleep and then DD1 came charging in like a herd of baby elephants and woke her up again, so that I was left with a screaming over-tired baby, and a screaming tantruming toddler who didn't understand why I couldn't play with her...
Sounds like my girls!

Happily married mother of DD1 (10/87), DD2 (7/08), and DD3 (8/10)
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