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#61 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 08:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The doc called and my hCG levels are 5. He wants me to come in next week to repeat the ultrasound in case anything has been left behind (huh? The doc at the ultrasound clinic said they couldn't see anything). Then, he had the nerve to say, "so, I think this is just a heavy period and you weren't pregnant". And I said, "so the six positives I had up until 2 days ago were wrong???", and he just gave a nervous chuckle. And why would he want me to come back in and repeat the ultrasound if I was never pregnant in the first place??? Not to mention the extremely sore breasts I've had for the last week AND the nausea (which stopped yesterday).

I won't be going in to see him again and I will be making a complaint about him when my doc gets back from vacation. My doc would have NEVER said something so stupid.

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
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#62 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 08:41 PM
 
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Oh honey, I am so so sorry. I am very sorry the doctor's office was so meh about things. This is your baby that was lost, not some figment of your imagination. When I had my miscarriage, someone told me this and it was so healing - you still saw the potential and future and had the love for the child and person they could be and that is hard to lose, no matter how short of a time they were with you. Another thing that I told myself was, "a person's a person, no matter how small".

*big big hugs* I had a very early m/c (I was 12dpo) and my period seemed about normal, maybe a tad on the light side. My ovulation the cycle after was a little later than normal and my CM was a bit harder to read fwiw. You might be cold from your progesterone dropping from a higher than normal level - I get bone cold and can't seem to get warm when I get my period, and I would imagine it would be worse with a m/c. Mine was in July so I didn't notice as much then. I saved my pictures of my pregnancy tests because that was all I had from the baby - I would do something like that just to remind yourself you are NOT crazy and you were pregnant.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, don't hesitate to PM me. *hugs to you* Again, I'm so so sorry :-(

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#63 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 08:42 PM
 
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I just read your responce about the doctor - what a jerk!!!! I am so mad for you!

Rachel, knit.gifwifey to 2twins.gif (3/06), tandem nursing mama toenergy.gif(7/08) & babyboy.gif (4/11) and missing brokenheart.gif (7/09, 2/10, 7/10) 
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#64 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 08:49 PM
 
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That doctor was HORRIBLE to you. I am so, so sorry mama - for your loss and for that horrible treatment!

hippie.gif Hi, I'm Amber

Ava {12.20.08}  Levi {8.19.10}  Aspen  {EDD 7.21.13}

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#65 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 09:05 PM
 
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http://www.babycatcher.net/excerpt2.html

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#66 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 09:08 PM
 
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big hugs to you mama!

Lindsey
Mama to (10/05) and (12/07) (2/10) and expecting in December!
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#67 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 09:11 PM
 
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#68 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 09:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by RedOakMomma View Post
Oh my, you have me bawling all over again But it made me happy at the same time. Thank you for that.

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
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#69 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 09:14 PM
 
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This baby will be yours. Believe it. I'm just sorry it's not this month.

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#70 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This baby will be yours. Believe it. I'm just sorry it's not this month.
Unfortunately DH decided that he does not want to have more children just before we found out I was pregnant. He was completely accepting of this one because it happened when he still though he did want more kids. But, I don't expect he will want to try again. This is why this is hitting me so hard.

The Spirit Baby may have to go to the next mama line.

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
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#71 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 09:22 PM
 
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Take some time on this one. My dh wasn't crazy about trying for this child, either, but I think things really changed for him after the m/c. It's hard to understand for guys at first, but giving up on a life after a m/c is incredibly painful. It took a while for dh to see and realize that, and since he did he's been very gentle about TTC notions. I think he knew I couldn't stop with a loss like that. It was too heartbreaking.

So no matter how bleak it seems now, just be patient. Be gentle with yourself. You never know.

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#72 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 09:22 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. I'm sorry the doctor was such a jerk, too.

for your lost little one.

rainbow1284.gifenergy.gifAugust 2010 ; angel2.gif April 2009; angel1.gif m/c 2008

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#73 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 10:11 PM
 
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"I was a little upset by the attitude of all these professionals. "Are you sure you had a positive home pregnancy test". Uh ya, I'm sure. I had SIX positive ones and even today's was mildly, mildy pink AND they were different brands too, you big jerks, have some compassion, I'm kinda sad here you know?"

My first pregnancy ended exactly this way and I had such similar treatment. It was horrible. It was my first pregnancy and I didn't know anyone who'd had a m/c before (at that point) and I was devastated and they were so cavalier about it. I was so lucky to find the woman who became my OB out of that so it wasn't all bad. But it's amazing how unfeeling some people can be I read ahead and saw that you don't think your husband will want to try again. I hope that you two can come to a common place on this decision.
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#74 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 10:18 PM
 
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I'm so sorry Tofu. Please take care of yourself. I know your husband says no more, but maybe you could take some time for both of you to heal and then reassess. If he was accepting of this baby, it might be that losing babies is so hard on him that he is scared to go through it again. He might be more open to trying again in the near future. In any case, I will pray for you and for your husband. Losing babies is one of the hardest things to go through. Please take care.

Momma to DS 1, age 8 and rainbow baby DS2 4-21-11.
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#75 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 10:23 PM
 
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I'm so sorry

Sarah loving wife to Scot...joyous mama to...
Emilee and Elaina and our newest addition Elliot Bell 9/15/10
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#76 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 10:40 PM
 
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Oh, Tofie, I am so very very sorry. What a horrible, insensitive things to say on the part of your dr. Inexcusable.

 hearts.gif(6), energy.gif(4.5),  diaper.gif (2) and  IT'S A babygirl.gif!!!!  ~9/24/12~ vbac.gifwaterbirth.jpg

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#77 of 86 Old 01-07-2010, 11:44 PM
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I'm so sorry. And so infuriated at the doctor's response- how rude and insensitive!

Sandi- firmly attached mama to DS (Feb/08) cautiously expecting #2 09/10
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#78 of 86 Old 01-08-2010, 12:25 AM
 
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Oh Mama I'm so sorry for you, for your loss, for your treatment. Please take care of yourself, I hope that you and your husband are able to come to a place of mutual peace and support on TTC. After a loss, the dynamic does change so very much. That was a wonderful link RedOak posted, a beautiful and reassuring image. Lot's of hugs and love.

sleepytime.gifC.- WOHM, CPST Instructor, and all around busy Mama to  blowkiss.gifA.- 02/04, bouncy.gif I. 01/07,babyf.gifE. 09/10 and

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#79 of 86 Old 01-08-2010, 12:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. I have no one in real life to share with (other than DH) so it really does mean a lot to me.

My back is soooo sore, the lower area sore like during your period but worse and it's sore further up the back as well. My uterus also feels like something is pushing in it, probably from the vaginal exam and doc pushing on my uterus and the vaginal ultrasound today.

Should I expect the bleeding to last as long as a regular period? Oh, and should I go to work tomorrow? Emotionally not sure if I'd make the day without bursting into tears, but physically would I be okay to go even if still bleeding?

And I did some Googling and I see lots of places that say I should be calling the doc if I've got a fever or am shivering as that could be a signal I have an infection with the miscarriage? I TOLD the doc AND the ultrasound tech that I was so cold and had been shivering and I didn't take my toque off for either appointment I was so cold. Yup, classy, no pants, a doc with his hand up me and an ultrasound tech holding a long plastic dongle inside me and me IN MY TOQUE.....

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
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#80 of 86 Old 01-08-2010, 12:39 AM
 
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For me, my early losses have been a little longer than a regular period, ovulation a little later, AF a little later, the last one was a 38 day cycle, compared to my normal 32. I bled for two days longer than normal.

As far as work, you will have to find your own place on this. With my last loss, I stayed home for one day. I stayed in my PJ's, drank lots of coffee (with caffeine!) and that night, DH and I split a bottle of wine. I cried a lot. I posted in Pregnancy and Birth Loss and talked to my very best friend. And cried a lot. And the next day, I showered, dressed and went to work and felt much better for it. Follow your heart Mama, and give yourself a break if you need one.

sleepytime.gifC.- WOHM, CPST Instructor, and all around busy Mama to  blowkiss.gifA.- 02/04, bouncy.gif I. 01/07,babyf.gifE. 09/10 and

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#81 of 86 Old 01-08-2010, 01:25 AM
 
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I'm so sorry, Tofu. ((hugs))

DD 12/07 DS 9/10

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#82 of 86 Old 01-08-2010, 07:39 AM
 
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Oh Tofu. Thinking of you lots.

Erin, Catholic mama to three sweet boys: Ambrose (11/06),  Peter (3/08), and Joseph (9/10) and a sweet girl, Charlotte (7/12/12).

Joyfully expecting #5 April 2014!
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#83 of 86 Old 01-08-2010, 10:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My back is still sore this morning alone with a dull pain in my uterus (feels like my uterus felt after giving birth, seriously, it's weird) and there were greyish/whitish, squishy lumpy things in the blood late last night and I was scared to go sleep (still shivering and didn't want to turn the T.V. off for fear I'd start thinking about what was happening again) so I've only had a few hours of sleep. Thus, I think I am staying home from work. Since it's Friday, that will give me 3 recovery days (well sort of, I have the kids to look after on the weekend).

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
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#84 of 86 Old 01-08-2010, 11:10 AM
 
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Tofu I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself.

SAHM to one precious 2 year old and wife to my loving DH. And here we go again!
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#85 of 86 Old 01-08-2010, 07:03 PM
 
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I'm so sorry Tofu.
My m/c at 5 weeks was a little heavier (more clots) of a period. A lot of back pain like you are describing.
I think you made the right choice to stay home. Take care of yourself.
FWIW dh was set on us being done and then we had a surprise (my last m/c). I wasn't sure what would happen after that and had a harder time dealing with the m/c because of that uncertainty. Well we talked about how I felt and I left the final decision up to him. I don't think he made a decision, but he did choose not to use a condom and here we are. He's definitely taking longer to be excited about this one, but he's getting there. So you never know what the future holds.

Mama to three sweet boys ('04, '07 and the new addition arrived on Sept 8, 2010)
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#86 of 86 Old 01-09-2010, 05:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tofu the Geek View Post
Unfortunately DH decided that he does not want to have more children just before we found out I was pregnant. He was completely accepting of this one because it happened when he still though he did want more kids. But, I don't expect he will want to try again. This is why this is hitting me so hard.

The Spirit Baby may have to go to the next mama line.
Just wanted to pop in here and say I'm very sorry for your loss.

I had a very similar m/c about a month ago started bleeding at 21dpo and it was like a normal period. My body bounced right back and ovulated when I normally do. It's the emotional part that's very hard. My dh is like yours, he does not want more children - so as much as I want to ttc, I can't. I actually broke down and cried about it yesterday.

Just wanted to give you some support and let you know you are not alone. PM me if you need to talk.

Candacepeace.gif, Married to dh   guitar.gif, Mom to ds (8) biggrinbounce.gif , Gavin candle.gif (9/30/10 - 12/19/10) and cautiously expecting our rainbow1284.gif 4-29-12

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