38 weeks now, baby has been moving much less over the last couple weeks which midwives reassure me is normal although it makes me nervous. But I'm starting to feel so scared and panicky and just keep thinking if something goes really wrong it will be my fault for not having it checked out.
On Monday at my regular appointment his heart rate was down in the 90s for a minute or so which freaked out the midwife a bit. She had me do a NST right away and he totally aced it. Then today I just feel that he is moving even less than he had been (he had stopped moving much in the morning but for the most part still had an afternoon active period, but not today). So I call and midwife says as long as he has 4 movements in an hour it is fine but it is up to me if I want to come in. Even though I know he is moving 4-5x hour I still end up going in for another NST. He just passes this time, but midwife (different one) says my fluid feels low and recommends an u/s to check fluid and possibly a full BPP. So now I'm going in tomorrow for an u/s.
I'm worried that I'm letting my fears get the best of me and I'm putting myself on the road to some interventions that I don't really need. I mean, if I hadn't gone in today for the NST (which he passed) I wouldn't be having an u/s tomorrow. Anything other than a perfect u/s tomorrow will just give me and everyone else something else to worry about. Now of course if something ends up being really wrong, I'll be glad I did this. But I alternate between being afraid of something being really wrong and between being afraid that I'm screwing up my own chances for a normal, natural birth. None of the midwives at my birth center seem like total "medwives" but I know when you go looking for something to be wrong you will often find it. I guess I just need some talking down.
Oh, and also tonight I find out that after over a month of being in the *perfect* position for birth he has suddenly turned posterior. Although I haven't been doing as much hands and knees as I should have I was being so, so careful to avoid bad positions and have been doing chiropractic as well. I am just so, so bummed out about that.