Don't Even Care About the Birth Right Now - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 08-26-2010, 09:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'll probably change my mind later, but feeling so low and miserable that I don't even care about having a "good birth." I just want my baby, and I want to not be pregnant. I'm so ready for him. I swear I feel like if someone asked me this moment "here, you want some pitocin to go into labor, and you can be not pregnant tomorrow night? have some!" I would totally take it. Even though really the whole time I've been freaking out about the thought of induction and pitocin. At this point I don't care. It's just a day anyway, am I really going to care how it went years from now? Ack.

I feel like I "hit the wall" like two weeks ago and I keep expecting these contractions to finally start being real labor, but they keep not being real labor. Yesterday I was feeling optimistic, today for some reason my mood is so wretched and I'm so damn done.

If I'm still pregnant next Wednesday I swear I think I'm going to ask him to sweep my membranes.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#2 of 11 Old 08-26-2010, 10:06 PM
 
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Kelly, it's all about sleep. I feel that way when I'm tired. Or, I feel a bit panicked about the whole thing. I strongly feel like I just can't do it. I can't. And then I'm all messed up because I know I don't have a choice. And I don't wanna.

But then, I get a good night's sleep, and I feel all optimistic and "no big deal" again.

Have a PBJ and go to bed...tomorrow will be better.

"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#3 of 11 Old 08-26-2010, 10:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That's probably like the best advice ever.

I could really go for a PBJ, too.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#4 of 11 Old 08-26-2010, 10:30 PM
 
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I was so there about 2-3 weeks ago. I was like "I get why people have elective c-sections at 37 weeks! I want one!!!!!"

But then I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and I remembered it's not just about the experience of labor and birth (which I do care about, but not enough, probably ) it's also about risks and the health of mom and baby. Inductions do stress some babies out and put both of us at higher risk of complications, including c-sections, which carry tons of their own risks. I really suggest googling stuff like "benefits of the last weeks of pregnancy" and possibly watching the Business of Being Born if you haven't already- I actually think I'm going to rewatch it just for a morale boost.

I do get it, emotionally, I want the baby right now. For me, I'm so worried about losing her before she's born, I have pregnancy loss issues and anxiety and all sorts of stuff, but really focusing on the positives has helped a lot.

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#5 of 11 Old 08-26-2010, 10:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bri276 View Post
I was so there about 2-3 weeks ago. I was like "I get why people have elective c-sections at 37 weeks! I want one!!!!!"

But then I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and I remembered it's not just about the experience of labor and birth (which I do care about, but not enough, probably ) it's also about risks and the health of mom and baby. Inductions do stress some babies out and put both of us at higher risk of complications, including c-sections, which carry tons of their own risks. I really suggest googling stuff like "benefits of the last weeks of pregnancy" and possibly watching the Business of Being Born if you haven't already- I actually think I'm going to rewatch it just for a morale boost.

I do get it, emotionally, I want the baby right now. For me, I'm so worried about losing her before she's born, I have pregnancy loss issues and anxiety and all sorts of stuff, but really focusing on the positives has helped a lot.
That is an excellent idea! I think I'll do that tomorrow. It's available instantly on netflix!

Amanda
Mom to Reya (13) and Little baby Lila 9/22

 

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#6 of 11 Old 08-27-2010, 12:51 AM
 
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And from someone who was juuust there... I'm so glad to have my beautiful baby here in my arms but I am very much mourning the peaceful homebirth that I envisioned and hoped for. I am feeling guilty for just wishing to not be pregnant anymore.

I know it's sooo much easier said than done but your little one will be here very soon, when he/she is ready.

Likes a little crunch with occasional sogginess~Misty,Mama to L1, L2, L3, L4,L5 and Loving J!
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#7 of 11 Old 08-27-2010, 01:32 AM
 
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i could have written this myself! i now remember why i was totally fine with being induced with my 2nd ds even though before i got to that point i hated pitocin and wanted nothing to do with it...

unfortunately sleep doesnt seem to be helpful for me.. even when i get a good night sleep and a nap i still have crazy mood swings where i am fine with her staying in there one second and bawling because of how bad i want her out the next!

the end is near... just not near enough i guess

Amanda~ mommy to Brayden (06/05), Noah (08/07), Alex (11/08), Lucy (09/10) and Kara (10/12)
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#8 of 11 Old 08-27-2010, 08:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by bri276 View Post
it's not just about the experience of labor and birth (which I do care about, but not enough, probably ) it's also about risks and the health of mom and baby. Inductions do stress some babies out and put both of us at higher risk of complications, including c-sections, which carry tons of their own risks.
*sigh* Yeah, I know.

Really that's why I haven't signed up for the c-section already, rotfl. I know in my sane moments that the baby and I will have a much easier time of things if they go naturally. I definitely don't want a c-section-- less for the experience and more for the crappy recovery time needed. I had an unmedicated vag birth last time and I remember how easy the recovery was and how good I felt mere days afterwards, and I really want that again.

It's just so frustrating right now and I need to whine, ROTFL!

But, I'm going to work on being zen today... this is our last baby anyway (husband getting the vas), I should really focus on enjoying the last days of being pregnant in my life.

So glad ya'll kind of know how I feel, though, I have to keep being all positive and upbeat for people in "real life", *sigh*

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#9 of 11 Old 08-27-2010, 09:10 AM
 
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I sort of feel the same. At the point where I don't care if she bursts through my abdomen singing and dancing like the Alien spoof scene in Spaceballs... as long as she is out!

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#10 of 11 Old 08-27-2010, 10:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I sort of feel the same. At the point where I don't care if she bursts through my abdomen singing and dancing like the Alien spoof scene in Spaceballs... as long as she is out!
ROTFL! That would make an interesting birth video on YouTube, at least.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#11 of 11 Old 08-27-2010, 11:01 AM
 
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I hear you all. I want this baby out too. But on the other hand, I'm so miserable and exhausted and nauseous I feel like I don't have the energy to birth this baby. Just getting up off the couch to go to the bathroom feels like a Herculean effort. I keep hoping I'm going to suddenly feel better (and actually be able to sleep) before this baby comes. I was so exhausted from my long labor with DD that I ended up with an epidural toward the end and I'm really trying to avoid that this time around.

Mom to DD (3), my little peanut (9/10/09) and our newest addition 9/16/10
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