No I don't want to stay home! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 08-31-2010, 05:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My not-dear husband keeps telling me to stay home and now my mother has started and it is seriously pissing me off. I do not want to sit home for a month staring at my stomach! I am not going to explode! I am more than my uterus and am tired of being treated like an invalid!

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
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#2 of 15 Old 08-31-2010, 05:11 PM
 
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I don't know much about your situation, but I do know that as a pregnant woman, I don't want to be told what to do either. Aside from major health issues, your body WAS made to carry and birth a baby, and it IS a normal part of your life, so I'd have to agree with you.

Sorry you are receiving so much pressure...HUGS!!!
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#3 of 15 Old 08-31-2010, 05:13 PM
 
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Wow. They're telling you to stay home just because you're pregnant?!?! There's no way I could sit at home and JUST WAIT!!! That would drive anyone insane!!!

HUGS!

SAH Mama to Cooper (3-9-08) and Sawyer (9-3-10).   
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#4 of 15 Old 08-31-2010, 05:14 PM
 
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what?

WHY!

OOOOH people I swear!

you NEED to get out!

Are they telling you to like... not go to the store? or what?

We have a hurricane on the way AND its payday AND I am still going shopping!

(plus, pregnant ladies as pregnant as we are tend to get special treatment when we go out!)

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#5 of 15 Old 08-31-2010, 05:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No, dh tells me not to go to work (remember we have the store together) and to rest. Today I got REALLY upset about this, following on the heels of his comment last week that "all [I] do is the money and [he] does all the work" and I have not been able to stop crying. Um, I go to work b/c it is my job and it is my business and I do have work to do there. I am a big girl and I know when I am tired and need to rest. And being made to feel superfluous while he has to carry the weight of the world is really getting me down.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
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#6 of 15 Old 08-31-2010, 05:42 PM
 
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You wont be able to get to the store much for the first couple weeks postpartum. That is when you REALLY need to rest.

Right now, for your sanity, going there and doing even minimal work would be so much better for you physically and mentally than sitting around the house!

Heck! Sitting around the store would be better for you than sitting around the house!

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#7 of 15 Old 08-31-2010, 05:53 PM
 
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If you do not feel like staying home, don't!
I am now on week 4 (OMG) of short-term disability. And I have been going insane. The first 2 weeks were awesome. Work had been stressful and I was getting quite prodromal and having lots of uncomfy BH. Since DS1 came at 38w and I labored at work, this time I was "hell no" and left.
And then it all slowed down like it was supposed to.. but now I'm 39w4d and stir crazy! Since I do not have my usual job, I have been obessing about when the baby will arrive.

I try to keep busy around the house, but it's not the same. Work until you feel like you don;t want to!

Mom to two intact boys, born at home. DS1 11/07, DS2 9/10
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#8 of 15 Old 08-31-2010, 05:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaerynPearl View Post
You wont be able to get to the store much for the first couple weeks postpartum. That is when you REALLY need to rest.

Right now, for your sanity, going there and doing even minimal work would be so much better for you physically and mentally than sitting around the house!

Heck! Sitting around the store would be better for you than sitting around the house!
That's exactly how I feel! I will want to be home AFTER he is born. Not now!!!!!!!! If I stay home I just eat and sleep and it depresses me. Plus the kids get up my butt b/c they get bored. Juliet especially - she is on top of me 24/7 talking about how she is the baby, etc.

I am just done talking to dh. I wish I weren't 36 weeks b/c I would totally go away and visit a friend in NY and stop seeing his hateful face, but I can't leave home base this late.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
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#9 of 15 Old 08-31-2010, 06:12 PM
 
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Ooo I feel for you....My husband and yours must have conspired together. I have also been "forbidden" to go anywhere and I had my car taken away from me a month ago! And I still have until the end of september Its driving me nuts...and believe me, being stuck at home with a toddler is more stressful then being out and about. Not to mention more housework to do since my son is stuck inside all day too!
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#10 of 15 Old 08-31-2010, 09:55 PM
 
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Ds1 told me I should be staying home. He doesn't quite get how labour progresses and now has the worry that I might deliver the baby in the car or at a store. He said "Mommy I think you should just stay here in the house until the baby decides its ready to come out".
However that is much more acceptable coming from a 5yo than an adult.
I agree with you there is no way I could stay home even being overdue. I along with the boys would be going crazy continuously.

Mama to three sweet boys ('04, '07 and the new addition arrived on Sept 8, 2010)
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#11 of 15 Old 09-01-2010, 12:30 PM
 
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I cannot even imagine being told I should do something as innocuous as leave the house while pregnant, especially if there are not health concerns to warrant being cautious. It just sounds so archaic. When my GMIL was pregnant, she was told she couldn't walk up and down the stairs because it was bad for the baby - but they didn't mind sending her over to the well to fetch water for the household daily! I don't get it.

I'm 39 weeks today and still able to function just fine, thank you very much. Galatea, sorry your DH and your mother are giving you grief.

SAHM to one precious 2 year old and wife to my loving DH. And here we go again!
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#12 of 15 Old 09-01-2010, 02:51 PM
 
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men... I agree with LC. If you don't want to stay home, DON'T. Even if you can not go to work because your DH is going a little over the top, then get out. Go for a walk. Get to the park. The library. Anywhere. I hope you find your balance soon! Good luck!

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for." ~A.U.
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#13 of 15 Old 09-01-2010, 10:07 PM
 
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Dh, my mo mand I took the kids to the water park for a homeschool gathering last week. I walked past this woman, maybe 50-60 yrs old, who began with "Well bless your heart! You poor thing!" Then she talks to me more and she says something like "The doctors make you stay home for 6 weeks before and 6 weeks after" and I about choked. Did they seriously do that?! Not for me. 'Course, my husband is so desensitized to me being pregnant now that he thinks I should be doing everything I normally do and if I have to ask for help, or don't want to go to the grocery store for the 4th time this week with 4 little kids and a huge belly to park at the back of the parking lot and hobble in at 0 miles per hour in 90 degree heat... Well, you get my drift. I WISH someone in my life would "Oh, poor pregnant baby" me, especially now that I couldn't even get my regular sandals on today, had to wear flip flops, and the skin on my feet feels like it will literally split open any time...

FAs, co-sleeping, babywearing, extended nursing, positive parenting, homeschooler

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#14 of 15 Old 09-02-2010, 10:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gabbyraja View Post
he thinks I should be doing everything I normally do
Yeah, that's the weird part... no one is jumping to carry laundry baskets or anything! Tough being pg for the 4th time!

Anyway, I did tell dh to back off me. I ended up crying for a whole day about it and he got upset b/c you know they hate when we cry and they can't make us stop crying. He did say that I am so important and that he doesn't know how to do anything I do. No duh.

Now yesterday he did want me to come in b/c he wanted to go somewhere at lunch but I didn't b/c yesterday was the day I had planned to stay home and take care of some more of that money stuff that is so unimportant.

Now, today I have to go to work and stay until the end while he leaves early b/c it is ds1's back to school picnic at 4:30 and I would rather chew my arm off than go to an outdoor park in 95 degree heat with 3 kids and a bunch of snotty parents (we live in a very snobby town.) Hopefully the store will not be busy from 3-5!

In the old old days (like 16th century) you did stay inside, in your room, with the windows closed and drapes drawn with a fire on from 34 weeks to 6 weeks after the birth. The first place you were allowed to go was to church at 6 weeks and they called it "getting churched." But can you imagine being in the same stinky hot dark room for 12 weeks???????????

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
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#15 of 15 Old 09-02-2010, 10:09 AM
 
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Nope. There is no way I would have done it! Wonder what they would have done to someone like me in the 16th century!

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for." ~A.U.
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