We are happy, we are in SHOCK, DH is excited, I don't know if excited is the right word for me. Although, I am really much more nervous and worried about the health of this one, with no real reason to be.
DH and I tried for 6 years and had to do an IVF to get #2. And then I spent a good deal of her first year dealing with PPD, stressed because of finances, unhappy because she was an unhappy baby for her first like 6 months. And, looking back, I can see now that a substantial part of my PPD DID have to do with a deep deep fear that she was going to be our last. Our financial issues meant saving for another IVF was having to be put off, DH just turned 40 this year so putting off an IVF too long would have put him in an age bracket that neither of us was all that comfortable with in regards to new babies. And we were told that IVF was basically our only option.
The first thing I felt when we got the positive test was shock. Absolute shock. In addition to our IF issues, I had been on ppd meds that were inhibiting ovulation, therefore acting very much like birth control, not to mention that due to stress, ppd, etc, our bedroom activities were VERY limited. I think we had only two or three encounters the entire month I got pg.
So yeah, just complete and total shock...even more so than when I was 17 and got pg while on bcp. And still now, not that she's almost here, I am still in this surreal world of it all. I am not enjoying this pg much at all, but then, I didn't want to be pg for the pregnancy, but for the end result anyway. Once she gets here, I will be more excited, I am sure. I am totally scared about how I am going to handle everything alone while DH is in school full time and working full time, I am totally scared about how our finances will work. But the overridding feeling is just still one of complete shock.