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#301 of 408 Old 10-14-2010, 01:39 PM
 
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Oh, and she rolled over this morning. ??? Isn't it a tad early for that? Now I have to worry about where I put her down (like I ever put her down anyway)

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#302 of 408 Old 10-14-2010, 01:42 PM
 
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thats what I was thinking but somehow Mae has managed to roll to her side several times on a perfectly flat surface (back to side, headed for tummy? but cant roll off her tummy)

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#303 of 408 Old 10-14-2010, 02:48 PM
 
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DS started rolling front to back at 3 weeks. DD started at 5 weeks. It is early but it does happen.

DD 12/07 DS 9/10

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#304 of 408 Old 10-14-2010, 02:48 PM
 
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I have friends due in the next 2-3 weeks already having labor signs and having babies already.

I should be SO happy for them, I mean my baby is here, I'm not waiting anymore, but I feel more let down. I went 41 weeks and instead of my dream birth that I had been mentally preparing for for over 9 months I got a surprise csection.

I did everything "right"

I guess I'm not as over it as I thought.

Teacher Mama to (8/03) (6/06) and (9/10)
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#305 of 408 Old 10-14-2010, 03:16 PM
 
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Yes exactly- well it's my right side instead of left that's cracked. Except last night, the cluster nursing never stopped so she nursed basically from 5 pm to 7 am straight. I got like 10-20 minute spurts of sleep each hour from 11 to 7. I'm a zombie. She'd actually taken the paci and fell asleep in dh's arms at 9:30 and then at 10 he put her down to change out of his clothes and of course, she immediately woke up and pressed restart on the cluster nursing. I TOLD him not to put her down.
my turn...exactly. Except the part where your dh helped. Dd won't take a pacifier; they make her gag. Sometimes he can calm her on the exercise ball, but nothing doing last night. So, it was all me. And even if he can get her to sleep, he has to give her to me because he sleeps so hard and crazy. He can't even sit on the couch in the late evening and hold her because he falls asleep and nearly drops her!

And now she's sleeping ALL day...which means tonight will be interesting. Oh, and if you nurse ALL night, that sends a certain signal that means Mama is rather uncomfortable ALL day when you won't nurse hardly at all. I've kissed and jiggled and changed and all sorts of stuff. Nursed sorta, three times, since 8. . Betcha I get mastitis or something awful again.

"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#306 of 408 Old 10-14-2010, 03:31 PM
 
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I had the meeting with a trauma therapist a few days ago, and it went well. I then went to ICAN.

BIG, FAT mistake. I was fine after I left the therapist. NOT fine after ICAN. So not okay.

I was incredibly anxious afterwards. And it's only built. Yesterday night I was having issues breathing, that's how intense the panic was. I couldn't figure out why I was so afraid, especially so afraid to be alone.

And yesterday night, in the midst of the panic attack, I figured it out.

I am afraid of dying. In both of my c/s, I reacted to the anesthesia in a way that felt like I was dying. Struggled to breathe, felt weaker and weaker. It was like all my energy was being drawn inwards and downwards. And the last time, with the botched epidural, the anesthesiologist wouldn't listen to me and turn it off. No one was there to help me, since they sent hubby out of the room.

I am afraid of being in a position where I am dying, and can't get help. And being alone with my toddler and newborn. Scratch that. Terrified of it. Deeply, deeply terrified of it.

I've told my husband, and he's great. But the moments are still there. I managed to calm myself down some yesterday night and actually got some good sleep. However, now that I'm awake, it's back, though a low level.

I feel really nauseated, weak, tired. And I need to get this out. How do I get this out? I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to run away from it, take something that blocks this feeling. Help, please.

Ami

Wife to dh, Mommy to my heavenly angel, J (06), and my earthly angels, S (07) and E (10)

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#307 of 408 Old 10-14-2010, 03:40 PM
 
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Oh, Ami. It is so hard to fear something that we can't control.

I don't know what to say to help you work through your specific fear, but I wanted to urge you to at least focus on a few things...

Plenty of GOOD food, water, and SLEEP
Take a good multi-vitamin, b vitamins, and iron
And try not to be alone for a while.

And do you pray? Can you give this to God? Can you trust Him to give you what you need and to handle it?

Keeping my body as healthy as I can, and giving the control to someone much bigger than me is the ONLY way I've been able to get through some really tough times. Especially relinquishing the control.

I hope you can get the help you need, and quickly. I'm sorry this is so hard. I'm sorry you are so afraid.

"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#308 of 408 Old 10-14-2010, 05:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had the meeting with a trauma therapist a few days ago, and it went well. I then went to ICAN.

BIG, FAT mistake. I was fine after I left the therapist. NOT fine after ICAN. So not okay.

I was incredibly anxious afterwards. And it's only built. Yesterday night I was having issues breathing, that's how intense the panic was. I couldn't figure out why I was so afraid, especially so afraid to be alone.

And yesterday night, in the midst of the panic attack, I figured it out.

I am afraid of dying. In both of my c/s, I reacted to the anesthesia in a way that felt like I was dying. Struggled to breathe, felt weaker and weaker. It was like all my energy was being drawn inwards and downwards. And the last time, with the botched epidural, the anesthesiologist wouldn't listen to me and turn it off. No one was there to help me, since they sent hubby out of the room.

I am afraid of being in a position where I am dying, and can't get help. And being alone with my toddler and newborn. Scratch that. Terrified of it. Deeply, deeply terrified of it.

I've told my husband, and he's great. But the moments are still there. I managed to calm myself down some yesterday night and actually got some good sleep. However, now that I'm awake, it's back, though a low level.

I feel really nauseated, weak, tired. And I need to get this out. How do I get this out? I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to run away from it, take something that blocks this feeling. Help, please.

Ami

Can you call your therapist? Since you had a good experience with that, I'd definitely bring up these feelings.

Second all of Just1More's advice-- eat, drink, try to not be alone. It's very good that you can talk about this with your husband. Lean on him in this and let him comfort you. Do you have other family that you can reach out to? Not to talk to them about this, if you don't want to, but just to visit, spend time with, so you're not sitting there alone thinking about it?

I hope things get better quickly.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#309 of 408 Old 10-14-2010, 05:30 PM
 
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Ami. I agree with Kelly1101, can you call the therapist you connected with? I'm sorry you are going through this.

SAHM married to with twin boys  and a girl .  
 
 
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#310 of 408 Old 10-15-2010, 12:59 AM
 
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Even with Mae being #3 for me... it is still amazing how in-tune with each others bodies we can be.

My breasts start stinging from let-down and a minute later she starts to wake up hungry.

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#311 of 408 Old 10-15-2010, 02:34 PM
 
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My little guy has been rolling over too. I can't believe it. I don't think DD rolled over until 2 months (4 months to roll tummy to back). Though she has low muscle tone so maybe that accounts for the difference.

I'm off to see the breastfeeding doctor again for a follow up. This third course of antibiotics actually seems to be working. I haven't cried out in pain while nursing all week!

Ami-hope you start feeling better soon. Trauma feels so awful but you CAN recover.

Mom to DD (3), my little peanut (9/10/09) and our newest addition 9/16/10
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#312 of 408 Old 10-15-2010, 03:37 PM
 
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nak

Just wanted to let you guys know that Carter's is having an online sale through Monday--a whole bunch of tops & pants are $5. I just bought some things for E; also, if you google for a Carter's coupon, you can find a $10 off a $50 purchase code, which is better than the free shipping promo they're advertising on their website.

Happy Shopping!

I before E, except after C.  Weird.
DD: 8/2010.
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#313 of 408 Old 10-15-2010, 03:51 PM
 
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Though she has low muscle tone so maybe that accounts for the difference.
Mae has been so much stronger than her brother and sister were from the moment she was born... she has been holding her head up and by 2 weeks was holding it fairly still. Now at almost 3 weeks it hardly feels like my baby is less than a month old.

Its sort of sad. She might be my last I wanted her to stay tiny! LOL

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#314 of 408 Old 10-15-2010, 04:13 PM
 
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Its sort of sad. She might be my last I wanted her to stay tiny! LOL
Ditto that.

Was Mae born later gestationally than your other kids? My longest gestated baby (41 wks) seemed so UN-newbornish when she was a newborn. I felt very robbed of that newborn phase lol. I was grateful when this current baby was born 3 wks earlier than her. But now that he's 4.5 wks old he's starting to seem more like an older baby. I keep telling him to stay little, but he just won't listen.

Bethany, mama to M (9), J (7), S (4), and baby BOY 9/13/10!!
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#315 of 408 Old 10-15-2010, 05:19 PM
 
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how are you doing today, Ami?

I second (third?) seeing your therapist again, dropping ICAN for a while, and working through these specific fears with someone you know can help you. I had a lot of dark times after my mother died (flashbacks to the accident, fears of losing my loved ones, etc.), and talking about it with a therapist really helped.

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#316 of 408 Old 10-15-2010, 06:59 PM
 
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hugs to everyone having a hard time.

Mom to two intact boys, born at home. DS1 11/07, DS2 9/10
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#317 of 408 Old 10-15-2010, 08:11 PM
 
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Ditto that.

Was Mae born later gestationally than your other kids? My longest gestated baby (41 wks) seemed so UN-newbornish when she was a newborn. I felt very robbed of that newborn phase lol. I was grateful when this current baby was born 3 wks earlier than her. But now that he's 4.5 wks old he's starting to seem more like an older baby. I keep telling him to stay little, but he just won't listen.
oh my yes, Mae was 41w6d, DD1 was 39w0d and DS was 40w4d!

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#318 of 408 Old 10-16-2010, 08:19 PM
 
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Nothing is going right for me.

And I apologize for the la of letters in my post, you will understand in a moment.

2 months ago, my ipod touh sreen went blan. Oh well, hubby said, we will get you a new one for hristmas.

2 days ago, my husbands phone sreen went blan. And? He goes out and buys himself a brand new android phone. What do I get? An update to my phone that auses it to be slower than it already was!

Fast forward to last night, me very upset over this... and DH sets a bottle of booze next to my mouse then wants to now something about my omputer... I move the mouse, spill the booze on the eyboard.

I an now no longer use two letters. By now I hope you have figured out whih they were as I ant type them =(

so... I have no ipod... a slow phone and a srewed up omputer... and DH has a nie shiny new phone.

Yay. Seriously, does it mean ANYTHING that I just had his hild?

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#319 of 408 Old 10-17-2010, 11:22 PM
 
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hey guys, just wanted to post a quick update. I don't feel up to really participating online right now, and I've been 'banned' from reading about birth/pregnancy/newborns/etc. Too much stuff that I'm just not prepared to deal with right now. But I want you all to know I am ok.

I had my first meeting with my therapist friday and we worked on relaxation techniques. As much as they helped some, I spent too many days in constant anxiety, not being able to really sleep, with intense nausea, which made me not really eat/drink. I felt so weak yesterday I didn't trust myself to pick up 8.5lb Elias.

I went into the hospital yesterday, where they gave me IV fluids, some anti-nausea meds and prescribed some anti-nausea meds, some anti-anxiety meds and apparently I have a UTI, so some antibiotics.

I am feeling a bit better today, I got some really light sleep yesterday night (I kept going in and out of a light sleep). Had my prescriptions filled, so tonight will be night 1 on an anti-anxiety med. Supposedly it will also help me sleep. It seems that I can deal with the attacks better when I get some rest and make sure to eat/drink something. I am resorting to junk food to keep my calories up. It's hard to find food/drink appealing with the low level nausea.

Oh, and I also came out with a diagnosis of PPD/A with some possible PTSD (ya think??). Tomorrow I get to make some phone calls to see my gyno earlier than my 6wk checkup to get more help.

I am also seeing the therapist tomorrow, Thursday and Friday.

Taking it moment by moment. My family has really pitched in too. My mom took ds2 yesterday night, so all I had to do was tend to Elias. Tonight, after taking the anti-anxiety meds, my mom will take Elias, since I can't bf or cosleep with him while on it. When I get up early in the morning, I'll pump and dump and take him back. I'm going to pump some more milk soon, and we have some formula set aside just in case.

I feel really humbled right now. For once, I am demanding to be taken care of, and really opening up to dh and my family, especially my mom. I think it's helping a lot, because they really seem to understand that it's serious. Usually I'm a type A do it myself sort of gal. I'm a total bf advocate too. So for me to hand over my babies this readily, and not giving one flip is Elias gets some formula is really telling. While I would love to never be apart from my newborn and give him only breastmilk, I think he would benefit more from a momma who is sane and able to do things with him rather than be hospitalized.

All prayers, wishes, etc for this to pass as quickly and easily as possible are greatly, greatly, greatly appreciated.

Ami

Wife to dh, Mommy to my heavenly angel, J (06), and my earthly angels, S (07) and E (10)

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#320 of 408 Old 10-17-2010, 11:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hey guys, just wanted to post a quick update. I don't feel up to really participating online right now, and I've been 'banned' from reading about birth/pregnancy/newborns/etc. Too much stuff that I'm just not prepared to deal with right now. But I want you all to know I am ok.

I had my first meeting with my therapist friday and we worked on relaxation techniques. As much as they helped some, I spent too many days in constant anxiety, not being able to really sleep, with intense nausea, which made me not really eat/drink. I felt so weak yesterday I didn't trust myself to pick up 8.5lb Elias.

I went into the hospital yesterday, where they gave me IV fluids, some anti-nausea meds and prescribed some anti-nausea meds, some anti-anxiety meds and apparently I have a UTI, so some antibiotics.

I am feeling a bit better today, I got some really light sleep yesterday night (I kept going in and out of a light sleep). Had my prescriptions filled, so tonight will be night 1 on an anti-anxiety med. Supposedly it will also help me sleep. It seems that I can deal with the attacks better when I get some rest and make sure to eat/drink something. I am resorting to junk food to keep my calories up. It's hard to find food/drink appealing with the low level nausea.

Oh, and I also came out with a diagnosis of PPD/A with some possible PTSD (ya think??). Tomorrow I get to make some phone calls to see my gyno earlier than my 6wk checkup to get more help.

I am also seeing the therapist tomorrow, Thursday and Friday.

Taking it moment by moment. My family has really pitched in too. My mom took ds2 yesterday night, so all I had to do was tend to Elias. Tonight, after taking the anti-anxiety meds, my mom will take Elias, since I can't bf or cosleep with him while on it. When I get up early in the morning, I'll pump and dump and take him back. I'm going to pump some more milk soon, and we have some formula set aside just in case.

I feel really humbled right now. For once, I am demanding to be taken care of, and really opening up to dh and my family, especially my mom. I think it's helping a lot, because they really seem to understand that it's serious. Usually I'm a type A do it myself sort of gal. I'm a total bf advocate too. So for me to hand over my babies this readily, and not giving one flip is Elias gets some formula is really telling. While I would love to never be apart from my newborn and give him only breastmilk, I think he would benefit more from a momma who is sane and able to do things with him rather than be hospitalized.

All prayers, wishes, etc for this to pass as quickly and easily as possible are greatly, greatly, greatly appreciated.

Ami
Oh, Ami, definitely sending thoughts your way. I'm so glad that your therapist is on top of this and your family is supporting you.

We'll be thinking of you. Let us know how you're doing whenever you're up to it, but take your time and take care of yourself.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#321 of 408 Old 10-18-2010, 04:58 AM
 
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Ami, my thoughts are with you. Keep taking care of yourself!

Mom to two intact boys, born at home. DS1 11/07, DS2 9/10
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#322 of 408 Old 10-18-2010, 12:15 PM
 
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Ami, I'm so glad you have support and you're working on caring for yourself. Sending you lots of positive healing thoughts.

I before E, except after C.  Weird.
DD: 8/2010.
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#323 of 408 Old 10-18-2010, 12:23 PM
 
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Way to go Ami, for taking very real steps to get yourself better.

We have started a cycle of sickness at my house. My one son has asthma and I didn't want to send him to school today, but he's already missed 3 days, ugh. He has an inhaler at school, so he'll get it every 2 hours, but he had a hard time taking it this morning (short of breath). So, he's sick and my other son is still coughing too. Baby girl is even occasionally coughing and has some boogers. I am pumping myself with vit D, vit C, prenatals, and orange juice to ward off sickness for me and baby girl.

So, since becoming pregnant, I had to stop taking antidepressants, and I became pretty withdrawn (not uncommon for me during depression). I pretty much pushed every friend of mine away that lives nearby. I had to stop drinking, so it was hard to be around all my friends, because they drink. Well, Now I'm 2 months pp and starting to take my meds and feeling a bit better, but wondering what to do about my friendships? I'm a family gal and I've been spending ALL of my time with my family and at home. I *honestly* feel like I could do without having friends or a social life....is that horrible? Everybody always talks about how important it is to have friends, but I make worse choices for my family when I hang out with others. I feel less in control of my life when I have too much going on socially. I do well keeping contact with friends that live far away and I only see occasionally. I'm not totally sure if this is still mild depression talking or what.....I just feel pressure to have *friends*, kwim? And it's not really them with the drinking problem, it's me.....if I'm being social, I want a drink in my hand. Do you all have friends/playdates/etc?

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#324 of 408 Old 10-18-2010, 01:27 PM
 
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Pacifica... I am a total hermit. I am friendly, but I NEVER hang out with people. Ever. My best friends live cross-country, and the people I have met locally are fine but I do not feel the need to hang. I don't think that makes me horrible. Not everyone is super social.
I have had social anxiety, but my husband has not, and he's not super social either. At work we both are, but when we're home we want to be with each other, not with other people.
That said... DS1 (almost 3) will need to socialize with kids. I rarely have playdates, but I do send him to day care a few times a week so he can hang out with kids. He likes that. As he gets older I'm sure we'll start doing birthday parties and playdates, but for now... nah.
I think having a lot of friends and a busy calender is overrated. I'm pretty damn happy with just my boys.

Mom to two intact boys, born at home. DS1 11/07, DS2 9/10
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#325 of 408 Old 10-18-2010, 03:20 PM
 
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Thanks LitChick, I knew there was *some* reason I wanted to move to the mountains after college.....to get away from people!!! I just seem to feel better and do better when I have more time to myself. Now that I have a family, I want to spend all my time with them or alone. I miss my boys when they're at school, so on the weekend's and evenings, I make up for that time by hanging out with them. We don't have the money to go out to eat often. We generally don't have much fun when we go eat at other people's houses. The kids and I are ready to go home long before it's socially acceptable to leave (like right after eating, lol!). Not so comfortable in large groups either. Yeah, I'm one of those who's completely happy chillin' at home with the fam.

So, my baby girl is almost 8 weeks old now and she just smiles and makes the cutest cooing sounds. Oh, I love her to pieces. I'm about to get the baby toys out of the attic for her.

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#326 of 408 Old 10-18-2010, 03:24 PM
 
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she just smiles and makes the cutest cooing sounds.
mae is just starting to coo... not often yet but Dh gets the silliest grin every time she does!

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#327 of 408 Old 10-18-2010, 03:34 PM
 
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I spent many years with few local friends (twin boys with special needs, tons of therapy hours, and medical stays will do that to you!), and I actually found that it made me more prone to depression. It also, I believe, had a negative impact on my marriage. Between the special needs and the hardships and just the grind of parenting, we were too bound to family, too bound to our roles as parents. Our therapist suggested, strongly, to reach out into the community and start making connections--whether through play groups or volunteering or anything really, just to start working toward a life that had to do with something other than our roles as parents.

It's only been in the last two or three years that I've made some local friends, and it's made such a difference in my level of happiness--not to mention establishing a sphere outside of motherhood (or SAHMing) where I can interact and be myself in a non-mom role. All of my friends are moms (I met most of them through ds3 and his play group, actually), so we have that similar background to life. It's really important to me. Even if we're just seeing a movie, or having book club, or going out to eat, having that support and outlet has been great.

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#328 of 408 Old 10-18-2010, 03:43 PM
 
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Ami--- have been reading along and praying for your healing. So proud of you for recognizing your need for help and seeking it.

Friends--my girls are in preschool so we do things after with some other moms. We also have couple friends with similar aged kids who we sometimes hang with on weekends. But seldom do I get out with my girlfriends.
Afm--laptop died. Grrr. Posting from phone and hate it. I've been waTching more tv. OMG do the goofballs on Bringing Home Baby have jacked up expectations! Uh huh...your 2 day old is going to give you 6 hrs of sleep. RiiiIght. And feed the freaking baby even if it hasn't been 3 hours. I yell @ the tv more than Wheel of Fortune. Which is ssying a lot!!

 hearts.gif(6), energy.gif(4.5),  diaper.gif (2) and  IT'S A babygirl.gif!!!!  ~9/24/12~ vbac.gifwaterbirth.jpg

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#329 of 408 Old 10-18-2010, 03:46 PM
 
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Double post

 hearts.gif(6), energy.gif(4.5),  diaper.gif (2) and  IT'S A babygirl.gif!!!!  ~9/24/12~ vbac.gifwaterbirth.jpg

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#330 of 408 Old 10-18-2010, 09:12 PM
 
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Pac- I've always been slow to make friends. It's taken me years but I finally have a few people I feel sort of close to. I don't see them/talk to them that often even though they are close by, but I feel like I can share things with them and could rely on them in a pickle. I met them in a prenatal exercise class 3 years ago when I was pregnant with DD. Friends are pretty important for me and I lean more towards depression when I don't have any. But my DH has no urge whatsoever to be social and have friends and he is totally happy that way. As long as it isn't the depression talking I would say if you are fine w/o friends don't push yourself to have them just b/c you are "supposed to", kwim?

DD 12/07 DS 9/10

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