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#361 of 408 Old 10-28-2010, 11:17 PM
 
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Our lives seem very similar right now.
I know! The painful breastfeeding is definitely a contributor. If I could nurse while wearing her, I might actually be able to do more, but I can only do that on one side right now because the right side still has a deep crack in the nipple and I have to position her just right or it's horrible.

It's like...I'm all for letting some housework go, we're not aiming for Martha Stewart level over here, but I refuse to live in squalor indefinitely. It makes me much more stressed out. DH works long and very late hours. He basically only cleans or cooks on fri & sat. Feels like the rest of the week, he's contributing to the mess if anything. Leaves beer glasses, socks, papers around. We've talked about it but he freaks out that I'm implying he doesn't do enough when he has an extremely demanding job and is in school, etc. At least he pulls his weight with parenting but that's only when he's actually home. I'm sure FIL hates me right now because I told DH I didn't want him to go to this carpentry fair with his dad this wkend, I need his help the f-ing 1.5 days a week I can get it, thanks.

/vent

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#362 of 408 Old 10-29-2010, 03:39 AM
 
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Changing diapers. Washing diapers. Nursing. Fixing toddler snacks. Going to the playground. Watching Winnie the Pooh. Fixing dinner. Washing dishes. Rinse and repeat.
Yup. Sounds about right.

...And when your deepest thoughts are broken,
keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin' it's time to die.

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#363 of 408 Old 10-30-2010, 03:25 AM
 
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So this week has been interesting. I went in to Mental Health Urgent Care and got (finally!) diagnosed with moderate PPD and anxiety, with PTSD. Monday I was not in a good place. I was incredibly deep into my depression. Deep enough that I had disconnected from Elias and Stephen. Scared the shite out of me, hence the visit.

I got put on Zoloft and some anti-anxiety meds. Met with my OB on Wednesday, who instantly doubled my Zoloft dose.

Saw my therapist Thursday, who wanted me to double it again, so I went in today to talk to my OB. She wasn't there, so the advice nurse managed to track down my psychiatrist and we did a phone consult. I am 'approved' to up both the Zoloft and the anti-anxiety meds. I feel like I can handle the 'break through' anxiety, so I don't want to up it since it makes me pretty sleepy. And it can make a nursling pretty sleepy. Elias seems unaffected by it, so I'm not willing to double it. Since I am feeling better than I was on Monday (not cured by any stretch, but somewhat better), I am holding steady on the Zoloft until I (finally!!) get my consult on monday. Apparently there is a hospital nearby that has a special program for PPD that is intensive and staffed by people who do this as their specialty. Hopefully they will be able to help me fight these demons.

I just hate feeling this way. It's like, on top of hormones, I have to grapple with that horrible anesthesia debacle and a failed VBAC. Thank goodness Elias is a super sweet baby. Calm, sleeps regularly, etc. I have no idea how we'd survive otherwise.

It's also the first time in my life where food is unappealing. I seriously MUST plan out my day in terms of food and drink. Otherwise I will just not eat. At all. Or drink. I've gone 8hrs before like that. And nursing a newborn who's gaining weight faster than normal means a ton of caloric output. I never thought I'd be in a position where food turns me off and I have to force myself to eat. Getting above 1500 calories is a struggle. Shoot, I have been adding copious amount fats to all my foods to increase calories. I've never had to do this in my life. Unfortunately I"m allergic to dairy so easy calorie add ons are out.

Help me brainstorm things that are:
1) calorically heavy
2) have lots of protein
3) not chocolate
4) not dairy.

Already I am thinking of making a morning/snack smoothies. What can I to it to make it a calorie bomb? Gah, I can't believe I am actually seriously pursuing this!

Ami

Wife to dh, Mommy to my heavenly angel, J (06), and my earthly angels, S (07) and E (10)

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#364 of 408 Old 10-30-2010, 12:20 PM
 
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Put peanut butter into a smoothie, or into anything.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
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#365 of 408 Old 10-30-2010, 12:29 PM
 
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Avocado? Hummus? Bean dip?

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#366 of 408 Old 10-30-2010, 01:18 PM
 
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Put peanut butter into a smoothie, or into anything.
JTA so glad to hear you're getting help!

I second the peanut butter. Do you eat soy? You could eat edamame. Quinoa is high in protein but not a quick food. There are some kashi cereals that are high in protein (Go Lean Crunch for one) but they're full of soy.

Burritos are full of protein and pretty calorically heavy (if you use a flour tortilla).

Mom to DD (3), my little peanut (9/10/09) and our newest addition 9/16/10
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#367 of 408 Old 10-30-2010, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Both babies are napping!


I could get something done around the house, but instead I'm sitting in my chair on the internets. Do I feel guilty? Nope.


Ozzy is growing so fast, it's absolutely crazy. He's HEAVY. It's hard to remember that's he is still such a young baby, he's so big and some of the things he does are far earlier than Emma did them... like the head control, and he makes all kinds of different coo-ing sounds, really varied. The past few days he's been grinning all over the place, it's so great His cheeks are so chunky that his smiles are adorable, and then he does this huge wide-open mouth grin. Looks like his dad's baby pictures when he does that.

We've been having some night-time difficulty, sometimes it's hard for him to sleep if I'm not right next to him, and he doesn't want to be put down at ALL (or let his dad hold him) (or be worn in the sling or mei tai) in the evenings, so I literally can get nothing done after about 4 pm. I'm lucky if he lets me eat dinner without fussing. But, he's still sleeping well through the night, only waking up 2-3 times to nurse and get changed, so I can't really complain.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#368 of 408 Old 11-01-2010, 09:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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OT...


We went to a Halloween party with my mom's group on Friday, mom had the day off so she came along too. While most of the kids were playing outside, some of the women were in the kitchen talking, subject being bedtimes... I was a bit pleasantly surprised with how many co-slept. Then as I had to pop around the corner to change Ozzy's diaper, I heard one of them say "We did the Ferber method with our daughter." *CRINGE*

I was relating this to my mom on the drive home, and she says: "What is that?"
Me: "That's when the baby cries it out"
Her: *blank stare* "What do you mean?"
Me: "They put the baby in the crib, then leave the room, and the baby cries itself to sleep"
Her: *gasp* "WHAT!?!"
Me: "I know."
Her: "That's so MEAN!"

<3

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#369 of 408 Old 11-01-2010, 10:21 PM
 
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i was recognized last night by a trick-or-treaters mother.

from mothering.com


that was neat.

sorry im very mia but my computer is still broken, no c or k button makes for a very hard time typing and a LOT of copy/paste and spell check to make the words make sense.

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#370 of 408 Old 11-01-2010, 11:46 PM
 
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So I'm not sure if the meds are helping, if time is helping or if the fifty bazillion things I've instituted are helping, but I am feeling better right now.

Last monday, I was ready to check myself into the hospital I was feeling so bad.

Now, I am back to taking care of the baby and his big brother, I am eating regularly (still have to time it), food is starting to taste good again, and I can see a week into the future and not freak out.

It's like my life used to be like a black and white tv, and slowly the color is creeping back in.

It's odd, because I'm still on the low doses of both the anti-anxiety meds AND the anti-depressant.

Currently, other than those prescription meds, I am taking 5 grams of fish oils, 8000 units Vit. D, a multi, magnesium, selenium and vanadium. I am taking 30 min walks every day, and when I get cleared to exercise this Wednesday at my 6wk checkup, I will be going to the gym with dh to start the more intensive workouts that I know will boost mood.

I am also focusing a lot on protein. If it's not got tons of protein, I don't eat it. So fruit, I eat with nuts. Lunch is usually bean and beef burritos. I cooked up a huge batch of pork chops that I can just grab and eat. Lots of hardboiled and scrambled and over-medium eggs. With whatever veggies I can scrounge up.

Oddly enough, even though I'm not getting great sleep the last couple nights, I feel MUCH more rested than I have in the past couple weeks.

I've also decided to not continue with my therapist. She is nice, and a wonderful resource, but I leave the sessions feeling the same or a bit worse than before. I'm not quite sure what I am going to do instead, but I find that talking to my dh, to my mom, to my best friend to be much more impactful than going to sessions. I am not sure about group sessions either. I've gone to some when I lost Joseph, and while some are helpful, others were more about being stuck in the grief cycle. I don't want to get stuck in the PPD cycle, kwim?

Halloween here was wonderful. Tons of kids!!! Stephen was a Dinosaur and Elias was a little pumpkin. I need to upload the pics, they are so cute! I bought Elias' outfit a month ago and it was way too big. Right now, it barely fits! It's weird having a baby that is growing faster than his brother was. Right now he's wearing clothes his brother did at 3 months! I look at him and see '3 month old' and then I start worrying about certain milestones he's not reaching--until I remember he's only 6 weeks old! Elias is already more than half the length of Stephen. I think the boys are going to be like me and my youngest sister. I'm 5'2.5" tall, my sister is 5'8!

Ami

Wife to dh, Mommy to my heavenly angel, J (06), and my earthly angels, S (07) and E (10)

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#371 of 408 Old 11-01-2010, 11:58 PM
 
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maybe... im sure ds will be shorter than dd1...

im middle-sized for my family, my tallest sibling is 6 foot 4 and the shortest is 5 foot 3 lol

i have a feeling DS will be in the 5 foot 8 range (how tall I am) and DD1 will near 6 foot, even though she is a girl!

Mae will probably be right about 5 foot 8 also as her daddy and I are nearly the exact same height AND shoe size!

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#372 of 408 Old 11-02-2010, 12:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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November 1983
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h9..._1727979_n.jpg

October 2010
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h9..._7417907_n.jpg

Happy birthday to me today


[the second one wasn't deliberately posed... I just came across the first one on my mom's FB page, then realized that it was exactly like a pic I'd taken a few weeks ago]

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#373 of 408 Old 11-02-2010, 01:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Posted a Two Under Two thread in the Tribe forum, because man do I need it... if any of you are in the same boat, http://www.mothering.com/discussions...7#post16007837

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#374 of 408 Old 11-02-2010, 10:16 AM
 
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I love the ducky squeeze me outfit! It's one of our favorites here. And those pictures are adorable

Mama to Penelope!! born 9/19/10. Missing Elliott 10/10/09. And expecting expecting again Oct '14!
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#375 of 408 Old 11-02-2010, 10:26 AM
 
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I love the ducky squeeze me outfit! It's one of our favorites here. And those pictures are adorable
We have the nightgown! Too cute

Amanda
Mom to Reya (13) and Little baby Lila 9/22

 

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#376 of 408 Old 11-02-2010, 12:38 PM
 
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Happy birthday to me today
Happy belated birthday, Kelly!

I before E, except after C.  Weird.
DD: 8/2010.
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#377 of 408 Old 11-04-2010, 02:17 PM
 
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Ami...it could be the medication starting to work but likely it is a combination of everything helping you. You are doing an amazing job taking care of yourself and your boys, and you should not forget that. I do believe you will be able to overcome this since you have been so acive in seeking support. I firmly believe treatment/recovery is different for everyone and you need to identify what works for you. If your therapy is not it so be it, you have lots of others supports and that is what matters. I would encourage you to keep looking though. I run PPD support groups as part of my job, and our groups are very informal chances to share/vent whatever is on your mind. There are just as manylaughs as tears, and we have moms that have hit recovery supporting moms who are trying to get there. Maybe there is something less formal out there for you?
As for the dairy free calories/fat I'm totally addicted to coconut milk. Pour a can and whip it plain or with cocoa and a littke sugar and it is wonderful for fruit dipping (and maybe even spoon dipping). Cooking rice and quinoa in it is also yummy. It even makes a good cream sauce for pasta. If I was close I would totally send some allergen free cooking your way.
Peppers and other veg in the frying pan with olive oil and garlic can be cooked and kept to use over past/rice/bread fairly quickly. I have dh cooked a super pack of local organic chicken with seasoning and then cut it in slices and put it in the freezer. Easy to defrost and eat alone or with any of the above (ok maybe not the whipped coconut milk...but hey you never know).
We just got back from a crazy fun week at Disney. The older two had a blast and I single handedly helped make everyone at Disney comfortable with nip by nursing on every ride a baby can ride, and pretty much every other location in the park. Mickey himself however could work on his comfort level. We were at a character breakfast and I was trying to get everyone settled and speak to the chef about our food restrictions. Mickey was at our table and Elias started his I need to eat now cry. Mickey grabs me and starts doing all these actions (which afterwards I realized was him telling me to go to my diaper bag and get my baby a bottle). So I take Elias with Mickey standing right there over me ensuring I was settling my baby, and go to nurse him. I don't think I've ever seen the mouse move so fast as he did then. If the mouse could blush he would have been bright red. As he passsed us later he covered his eyes. Guess not that many people bf around him?
I am definitely going to miss not having to cook. Every chef was so amazing in making safe food for my children and myself, it was truly a magical trip for us in that regard.
Now for the post vacation recovery and laundry!

Mama to three sweet boys ('04, '07 and the new addition arrived on Sept 8, 2010)
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#378 of 408 Old 11-05-2010, 08:22 AM
 
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I... buttoned... prepregnancy.... jeans....


at only just under 6 weeks postpartum! I am so excited!


ETA - well so much for THAT accomplishment.

Went to change Maes diaper, as soon as I put the clean dry prefold under her? poop EVERYWHERE.

Including my pants.

Put another under her... happened again. Someone doesnt like mommy today

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#379 of 408 Old 11-05-2010, 04:53 PM
 
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Went to change Maes diaper, as soon as I put the clean dry prefold under her? poop EVERYWHERE.

Including my pants.

Put another under her... happened again. Someone doesnt like mommy today
No, no, no, no. Remember what I said upthread? Getting pooped on is an ancient good luck sign signaling an excellent, super close relationship between mom & child forever and ever.

Ami

Wife to dh, Mommy to my heavenly angel, J (06), and my earthly angels, S (07) and E (10)

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#380 of 408 Old 11-08-2010, 09:07 PM
 
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I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans!!!! Buttoned, zipped, and I wore them out. Had to wear a flowing tunic with them, and after lunch at Olive Garden I was pretty uncomfy - but I can wear them. Horray!

Mom to two intact boys, born at home. DS1 11/07, DS2 9/10
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#381 of 408 Old 11-08-2010, 10:37 PM
 
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I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans!!!! Buttoned, zipped, and I wore them out. Had to wear a flowing tunic with them, and after lunch at Olive Garden I was pretty uncomfy - but I can wear them. Horray!
woo hoo!




6 week checkup today. Im great, Maes great... and she gained THREE POUNDS in the past 3 weeks!

Shes up to 11 pounds!

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#382 of 408 Old 11-11-2010, 08:52 PM
 
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YAY Mae! Caleb was gaining a pound a week at the begining, but has started to slow down a little. Glad everything is well!

 

Little man had his 8 week appointment today. 12lbs 11.5oz almost doubled his birth weight! ( shrug.gif according to our scale at home he is right around fourteen pounds) Everything looked good, and the doc even said he was "perfect"!!! joy.gif of course we already knew that! We did immunizations, and he was not impressed, but didn't stay frustrated for long. He was easy to soothe, and we skipped the tylenol and just nursed him until he was happy again. A couple times he woke up more angry than usual, but by dinner time he was his usual happy, grinning giggling self. I don't feel bad about our decision to do them, and I was soooo worried about whether or not we had made the right decision until after it was done. A friend of mine doesn't and her 3.5 year old now has whooping cough. I think we will continue to selectively immunize.


"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for." ~A.U.
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#383 of 408 Old 11-11-2010, 09:11 PM
 
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My older two were delayed immunization and I haven't regretted it. 

 

 

 

Mae is such an odd little thing. She doesn't cry. I can seriously count on one hand how many times she has cried. She does fuss though so its not like she has not expressed her feelings or anything.

 

However, sometimes when she talks it sounds like fussing... but its just talking. So sometimes I have no clue! Is she just laying there talking to her hands? Does she need me? Its not her hungry fuss (usually sounds like NAH.... and GAH...) or her icky diaper fuss (basically EHHHH while arching her back and kicking her legs like shes trying to get off her diaper... also usually follows the last poop by just a few minutes) but rather her general fuss that I guess means she wants a snuggle or a change of scenery.

 

The worst is when she does that fuss while eating. She yells at my boob! I keep telling her not to talk with her mouth full, DH gets a kick out of that lol.

 

Also this is a horrible quality photo because I took it in a dim room with my cellphone but omg its too cute not to share

 

148408_457752266399_709041399_6161720_6436273_s.jpg

 

Daddy was reading the Readers Digest and she was watching him turn the pages... I grabbed my phone and aimed it at them and he turned the magazine towards her... she turned her head to him just as I took the picture.

 

I really wish I had gotten that pic on my camera though, its just too cute.


Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#384 of 408 Old 11-12-2010, 07:14 AM
 
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Took Ellie to the pediatrician yesterday because her reflux symptoms seemed to skyrocket into a new category of pain this week...the doc agreed it sounded like reflux (as well as potentially an allergy to the chickpeas I've been eating recently--how weird is that?  I guess b/c their legumes...?) and gave us a prescription for baby Zantac.  I gave her the first dose last night--the look on her face was hilarious, like, what is this gross stuff?  However, I know it's really too soon to tell if it's working, but she already seems much happier and no longer in pain.  I'm crossing my fingers that this will really help her!

 

In other news--I got a call from my boss yesterday, asking if I would be able to come in and teach for a few days at the beginning of December.  Ummm...no?  Since I'm not paid for the second half of my maternity leave, and I'd have to scramble to come up with daycare, since E's not scheduled to start daycare until January, I'd basically be paying to go to work.  Gah.  One of the many things I don't miss about my job...

 

It's so hard to imagine going back to work, even part-time.  I'm really struggling with my decision...


I before E, except after C.  Weird.
DD: 8/2010.
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#385 of 408 Old 11-12-2010, 01:45 PM
 
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It's so hard to imagine going back to work, even part-time.  I'm really struggling with my decision...



Yeah, I didn't ever go back to work after my boys were born.  You can always change your decision!

 

Our whole family is sick, minus DH.  Being sick and taking care of 3 sick kids is soo hard. We have this upper respiratory cold and, yes, ppor baby E has it too.  She was really congested for about 2 days and had a small fever  (99.5).  She's 11.5 weeks old today and already having her 2nd cold!!  Other than being a bit fussier than usual, she acts her normal self.  

 

I've still been massively researching vaccinations (about 20 hours worth so far) and really feeling confident with not vaxing E at all.  My boys are delayed/selectively vaxed. There's A LOT of research linking childhood immunizations to autism, adhd, autoimmune disorders, diabetes, etc.  MDC's vaccination forum has some extremely well educated people.....it's an excellent place to gather information and ask questions.  Anyways,  I'm feeling very good about my decision!

 

Proud to be in my pre-pregnancy jeans too!!

 

Has anyone had an alcoholic beverage yet?!  Our friends own a beer bottle shop and they brought me a "good" beer last week, ohhh soo yummy!! 


SAHM married to with twin boys  and a girl .  
 
 
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#386 of 408 Old 11-12-2010, 05:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by pacifica View Post

Our whole family is sick, minus DH.  Being sick and taking care of 3 sick kids is soo hard. We have this upper respiratory cold and, yes, ppor baby E has it too.  She was really congested for about 2 days and had a small fever  (99.5).  She's 11.5 weeks old today and already having her 2nd cold!!  Other than being a bit fussier than usual, she acts her normal self.  

 

 

Has anyone had an alcoholic beverage yet?!  Our friends own a beer bottle shop and they brought me a "good" beer last week, ohhh soo yummy!! 



DH brought home a cold... Mae has it now. I know I'm next :(

 

And Ive had alcohol... a bit of alcoholic lemonade but thats it.


Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#387 of 408 Old 11-13-2010, 05:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have wine on occasion, and had a beer twice.  It's pretty easy with Ozzy because after he nurses to bed at 8, I know he isn't going to nurse again until midnight.


Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#388 of 408 Old 11-13-2010, 12:16 PM
 
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It's not easy to drink alcohol with E.   She wants to nurse every 2 hours and I don't want to drink in the late evening when she sleeps longer stretches.  I do have some stored milk I can give her, so I can have some beer occasionally!  

 

Our sickness is going away. The last 3 days have been soo draining.  E wanted to nurse so much and wouldn't nap without me AND my older kids were home and sick and needing stuff.  I had DH come home from work one day to help me.  I've been taking 3,000 mg of vitamin C each day, hoping E gets some in my breastmilk.  

 


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#389 of 408 Old 11-14-2010, 06:36 AM
 
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DS2 and I have been sick as well.  Sniffles, but for a few days it was hard for DS to nurse in the AM because he was so congested.  All the night-time drip had settled and the poor little guy sounded awful.  DS1 was not sick at all when he was this little.  But that's because he was not around that many people.  Now DS1 has perma-snot from all the kids he's around, and he passes that to #2.

 

Aaaaand the hair loss has begun.  Whee!  I combed my hair after my shower just now, and a LOT came out.  That's not too bad, but I have that itchy feeling as well.  Last time, I gently itched my scalp and ran my fingers through my hair - and it felt sooooooo good.  And it gave me a bald spot!  This time I must resist the urge to help the hair out. 


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#390 of 408 Old 11-14-2010, 09:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lit Chick View Post

Aaaaand the hair loss has begun.  Whee!  I combed my hair after my shower just now, and a LOT came out.  That's not too bad, but I have that itchy feeling as well.  Last time, I gently itched my scalp and ran my fingers through my hair - and it felt sooooooo good.  And it gave me a bald spot!  This time I must resist the urge to help the hair out. 


I totally forgot about the hair loss after pregnancy!!!  I have dreadlocks, so hair doesn't ever "fall out" anymore.  It's very nice for the shower, but I would rather shed the extra hairs that I'm sure are detaching from my head right now.  

 

And I am soo irresponsible...we already had our first pregnancy scare!  Dh didn't pull out a few weeks ago and I flipped out!!  OMG!  I could NOT handle being pregnant again this soon!!!  So, I took a pregnancy test the other day, negative....thank you thank you thank you!!  And Dh has been officially cut off lol.gif until further notice.


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