Best or Worst Advice Since Having Your LO - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 09-29-2010, 09:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This came when Caitlin was 2 weeks, from a woman who had just laughingly told us how 20 years ago when her daughter was born she just put her in her crib, closed the door, and didn't check back until 8 hours later, from birth. Her daughter slept through the night, or at least she never heard her from the upstairs bedroom, ha ha.

"I know baby cries, and she's manipulating you with that cry."

Yeah, thanks for your opinion.

Jenifer & Tim
Caitlin Renee, September 2, 2010
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#2 of 12 Old 09-29-2010, 09:57 PM
 
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People are nuts! I didn't get advice with my first...and now when people hear this is my fourth, they don't offer advice at all.

My mom got it once though. My baby bro was 12lbs at birth and 24lbs at 4 months. A woman at the grocery complimented her on such a healthy, beautiful baby! And then she asked what he was fed. My mom proudly announced that he'd only ever had breastmilk. The woman replied with, "Oh that can't be enough for a baby his size!" Well, is he beautiful and healthy looking or not? Clearly it IS enough for his size, as he was so vigorous.

People can be doorknobs.

Emily: Homebirthin' mama to 3 boys and a girl.
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#3 of 12 Old 09-29-2010, 10:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenifera2 View Post
"I know baby cries, and she's manipulating you with that cry."
That is so batcrap crazy. I mean, are they really crediting a newborn with the cognitive ability to manipulate?

*sigh*

It makes me more sad than anything. Poor babies.

I got a crapload of stupid advice with my first, from the "oh, no one breastfeeds past six weeks, so you may as well start formula" (too bad my mom bf'ed all of us for a year or more, guess that proves your theory wrong), to the "you are going to spoil the baby if you don't put her down more", to the "babies need to cry for their lungs" to the "your marriage will disintegrate if you let the baby sleep in the bed" (somehow we managed to conceive another one... I wonder if it has never occured to people that you don't actually need a bed to have sex), to the "well I started putting rice cereal in the bottle at two weeks and my kids turned out fine", etc etc etc etc...

With this one I haven't been getting any except from my mom who just says stupid things to annoy me, I think, rotfl. I think it's because obviously I know what I'm doing at this point and I don't mind telling anyone that I don't need any advice, thanks.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#4 of 12 Old 10-01-2010, 02:40 PM
 
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Whenever I hear, "Such and so turned out fine." I have to bite my tongue and not say, "We don't strive for mediocrity, thanks."



Liz

Wife, and mother to a small fairy, a demolition expert, a special new someone this fall and a small dachshund.
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#5 of 12 Old 10-01-2010, 03:05 PM
 
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I feel like I'm lucky and haven't had to deal with bad advice yet. Maybe having a third kid means people shut up more? Or it could be that I've been almost completely housebound due to c/s recovery. I guess that is one perk, right?

Teacher Mama to (8/03) (6/06) and (9/10)
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#6 of 12 Old 10-01-2010, 04:11 PM
 
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Definitely the first pediatrician we went to, who advised us that even 8 day old babies could manipulate their parents, and that we should let her cry it out.

Maybe he should actually read the literature put out by his own organization?!?

We're making sure we *never* get him when we go to the office again. (Especially since the ped. we originally wanted there is so great!)

I before E, except after C.  Weird.
DD: 8/2010.
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#7 of 12 Old 10-01-2010, 05:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dachshundqueen View Post
Whenever I hear, "Such and so turned out fine." I have to bite my tongue and not say, "We don't strive for mediocrity, thanks."



Liz
ROTFL that makes me think of something I said to my mom today, a bit off topic-- my toddler drinks out of the sippy-cups that have like a bottle-type nipple spout on them. My mom was going on today about how she needs to drink from a "real" sippy cup (with a hard plastic spout). Why? Who knows? I mean, really, does this matter? She says "I know that I wasn't giving YOU bottles when you were 17 months old" and I said "thanks mom, that's probably why I have an oral fixation now." She glared.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurski View Post
Definitely the first pediatrician we went to, who advised us that even 8 day old babies could manipulate their parents, and that we should let her cry it out.

Maybe he should actually read the literature put out by his own organization?!?

We're making sure we *never* get him when we go to the office again. (Especially since the ped. we originally wanted there is so great!)
That literally makes me so angry I don't even know what to say about it.

Or, well, I do know what to say about it, but I'd probably be banned.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#8 of 12 Old 10-01-2010, 06:20 PM
 
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Yeah, the worst advice I got was all about CIO from day 1, and SO many people said Babywise was the best book. I've either blocked out the rest of the bad stuff or have forgotten it.
I think people were just so flabbergasted by my homebirth, no circ, and no vax that the figured I was a crazy lost cause. LOL.

Mom to two intact boys, born at home. DS1 11/07, DS2 9/10
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#9 of 12 Old 10-01-2010, 06:56 PM
 
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I'm on to my third, no one says anything anymore. I think they either a) know my parenting style or b) figure i'm on my third so it's not necessary anymore.

sleepytime.gifC.- WOHM, CPST Instructor, and all around busy Mama to  blowkiss.gifA.- 02/04, bouncy.gif I. 01/07,babyf.gifE. 09/10 and

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#10 of 12 Old 10-02-2010, 04:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I do respond to the people who talk about turning out okay. "Everyone rode in the back of the pickup on the freeway when we were kids, and we all turned out okay." My standard response is, "Except the ones who didn't, but they're not here to tell us about it." Usually shuts people up on the big issues, obviously doesn't work with smaller things like breast vs. bottle, CIO, etc.

I'm also constantly irked by the comment, "Oh, she just needs to cry to exercise her lungs." No, thanks. If you're not interested in helping her calm down, give her back to me. Now.

Jenifer & Tim
Caitlin Renee, September 2, 2010
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#11 of 12 Old 10-06-2010, 11:50 AM
 
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Oh, mom.

Talking to her on the phone about Ozzy, and I say "I think he's starting to give me some real smiles, but it's still hard to be 100% sure."

She says: "that's because you keep him so stuffed full of milk all the time."

???WTH???
"Okay, mom, I'll just stop feeding him, then"

Her: "You should only be feeding him every three hours."

Me: "No, I'll feed him when he's hungry."

Her: "Well how do you know that he's really hungry."

Me: *banging head against wall* "It's easy-- I see when he acts hungry. That's usually a sign of hunger."


I think she is just deliberately trying to annoy me.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#12 of 12 Old 10-06-2010, 12:46 PM
 
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Yeah, the hungry issue. The only times my LO cries are when he is hungry or when his diaper is wet. His hungry is usually, politely, acted ouft for about five minutes before he resorts to crying (he places a fist to his mouth and pulls it out and away a few times or opens his mouth wide and turns his head from side to side. Before he gets angry he does a little of both) and when I see him rooting I tell whoever has him that he is getting hungry and I get "how do you know he is hungry, he isn't even crying yet." (Even DP has said this to me!)

YET. I would like to feed him before he gets so angry that he wants to bite and twist at the nip.

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for." ~A.U.
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